I Stink and She Hates Me, Part 2

I made a mistake.

But I wasn't the first person to realize it.

Sis did, as soon as she saw my friend take away the play kitchen.

My friend must have, as soon as she realized Sis was upset.

Mama did, when I told her it was gone.

Sigh.

I was hasty. Thoughtless. Perhaps insensitive, though not heartless and cruel. I had made my decision based on observable facts: the kids didn't play with the toy kitchen and, when I said maybe we should give it away, they didn't care.

But nothing is that straightforward.

And I was wrong.

Even though Sis didn't play with that kitchen the way I expected her to, she was nonetheless attached to it. Even though she didn't seem to say anything when I said we would give it away, she really did care. I just didn't know.

Now I do.

I'm sorry, Sis. I messed up.

And, thanks to the understanding and kindness of my friend (whose daughter I hope likes the new tea set, a kind of consolation for the returned kitchen, though I'm not sure the recipient ever knew) and the sensitivity of Mama who fixed it all when I was too upset and embarrassed and indecisive to see my way to a solution, the play kitchen has come back today.

And I imagine it won't be leaving for a really long time. Even if they still don't play with it.

Am I giving in to a spoiled child or healing a bit of heartache by fixing a mistake I made? Is it better to be consistent with what you say you're going to do, or be flexible and change? Is this a lesson in selfishness and materialism or love? A focus on stuff or people? What have I taught them? What did they learn? I don't think I'll ever know for sure.

Live and learn.

Because you see, Gommie once got rid of something of mine, my first blankie, that I probably didn't play with anymore but still cherished without her knowing about it. It's water under the bridge in the sense that I'm not hurt or angry, that I forgive her, but it was still one of those childhood moments that affects my own parenting. I had long sworn internally that I wouldn't do something like that. But I did. Gommie and I talked about it briefly this morning when she said she was surprised that we had asked for the kitchen back, considering that it was out of the house and ostensibly over with. And so I asked her if she had the chance to retrieve my blankie from the trash when I realized it had been thrown away would she have? And she said yes.

Which is what we've done. Lesson learned.