Wednesday, June 15, 2011

"I Don't Like Change"

Just as I'm learning more about impermanence in Buddhist thought (as I'm currently reading Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart), we seem to be experiencing quite a spate of examples. And it's driving us all, well, mainly poor Bud, to tears.

Today was Nanny's last day, after almost two months, because I'm going to be able to start doing more with the kids. And because Babysitter will be helping out instead. But saying goodbye was hard. They really enjoyed and cared about her, and she did about them--they went to "Goose Poop Park" almost everyday, had deli picnics, did piggyback rides, learned to sew and worked on pillowcases, had special icy treats, painted, practiced kung fu (Bud was teaching her the forms!), gardened, played games, read, and so many other things. Goodbyes are always difficult. Which is why Bud came running up to my room midday crying, "Mommy, I don't like change!"

Earlier in the week, they'd both been upset about the end of school and saying goodbye to their teachers soon. They are nervous about first grade, a new teacher, new classmates, possibly not seeing old friends. Sis particularly cried about missing the friends she's come to enjoy. Bud doesn't want to change teachers.

I try to reassure them that change is hard, but it's not always bad. In fact, with summer comes camp, swimming, Babysitter, a visit (unscheduled) from Gommie, their birthday party. But, because they pretty much live in the moment, they can't be enticed with visions of future fun. (Though, conversely, it also means they recover more quickly than we do because they exist so much in the present.)

Of course, all this new change is on top of the last two months of changes and stressors--my injury and continued recovery, a long bout with stomach flu, Gommie staying and then leaving, learning new forms and going to their first kung fu competition, Nanny coming and now going.

So we muddle through, but it's hard to convince kids that change is okay, a part of life, that it is, in that familiar aphorism, the only constant, especially when it's a lesson I'm obviously still studying myself.

1 comment:

  1. A Buddhist went into a Pizza place and asked for a $4 pizza, handing over a $5 bill in payment for the pizza. Then he waited for the change, nothing appeared and he asked 'for my change'. 'Change must come from within' said the pizza man.

    In this country a trader is not legally obliged to give change but they never try to get out of so doing.