Cats are Crazier than Kids

I love our cats. But we must have been crazy to adopt them. The only way that they are easier to deal with than kids is that they come potty-trained and wash themselves. Otherwise, they are just like toddlers. Some examples:

• Albus has figured out how to open our upper kitchen cabinets. The other night when I was out, Mama heard a banging in the kitchen and went to investigate. She couldn't see a thing amiss. More banging. Where was it coming from? Albus stuck his head out of a cabinet to check on her. He had gone looking for the grapes that I had stashed in the colander on the shelf to keep away from him. When I came home later, there was a baby lock on the cabinet.
• Hermione loves going into the kids' room at night when we do our bedtime ritual or if Mama has to go in later. Her favorite spot? On top of the stereo speaker which is on top of the 6' tall bookshelf. Try getting her down if you are Mama and only 5' tall. Heck, I have trouble at 5'7" if she doesn't willingly come to the edge.
• Both of our cats love to eat things. Hermione likes the plastic edges of baby wipes bags (which, despite no more diapers, we keep around for other chores, since we have a big supply). Albus is partial to Q-tips. Both love plastic bags. In fact, any plastic is desirable. And they will go to any length to get to it. They have, jointly or independently: managed to open my desk drawer from underneath to scavenge around in the contents; opened the kitchen junk drawer from above despite the childproof lock (their paws can squeeze in even if the lock is engaged); work the mechanism on a lidded trash can to get to the insides; pushed through the small opening of the locked cabinet under the sink to get in the trash can; and unzipped--no, I swear, I watched Albus do this--my big tote bag where I'd stashed a plastic bag. They've managed other things, but we've only found the detritus and can't figure out how they got what they did. Needless to say, we've really decreased the amount of plastic around here and take the garbage out all the time.
• They love going where they aren't supposed to, mainly the basement or the enclosed front porch. And they are fast! Sometimes, you don't even know they've gotten there. And what do they like to do there? Of course, eat plastic . . . or leaves or straw or well, anything. So, luckily, they often betray themselves by stopping at the first tempting leaf or plastic bag, making them much easier to catch.
• I think I've mentioned elsewhere their propensity for climbing curtains, but my favorite episode happened over Christmas, when Hermione must have climbed the curtains in our room, started swinging back and forth, and knocked the full humidifier on our dresser onto the floor, scaring herself and everyone who heard the bang.

But then, Hermione will sleep between Mama's knees (all night) or Albus will curl up on my leg (for just a few minutes). Or they'll both do their amazing leaps to catch their favorite mice cat toys. Or slumber all curled up in the sun. And then you don't mind their kittenish antics so much. Just like with human kids. Except, well, I guess human kids grow up.