I saw a blonde head bobbing up and down on our front step. Ahh, the neighbor boy. Let's call him Video Gamer. "Can Sis and Bud play?"
Sure. And I invited him in. Sis and Bud were excited by their visitor and immediately started trying to entice him with toys, games, and kung fu demonstrations. He only asked, "Don't you have any video games?"
Video Gamer is 5 1/2 but has an 18-year old brother, so has grown up playing bigger-kid games. He likes video games, computer games, handheld games, whatever digital games, Nintendo, X Box, Wii, Playstation, (goodness, have I even gotten those correct?). He spotted that Sis and Bud had been playing on PBSkids.com and went over immediately--to change the website for different games! I interrupted to say we only played PBS games (figuring he wasn't looking for Starfall.com or Nickjr.com either!). Could Sis and Bud go to his house to play games? Soon, though, they settled into a game of chase and then some shadow play in the bedroom with some of the flashlight sets Sis and Bud got for their birthday.
Mama was beside herself. What was he doing here? Who comes over and knocks on the door to play without advanced email negotiations between moms weeks in advance? What should we do with him? Did his folks know he was here?
I laughed, "Hon, this is how kids end up staying for dinner! Better not tell him we're having steak!" Seriously, though, this kind of neighborhood play is completely outside of Mama's realm of experience, growing up in a condo near an apartment complex in the heart of Queens, without neighborly kids running around. Kids just didn't venture out, alone, to play with others.
She finished dinner; I was on playdate duty. I tried to reassure her that this was normal in neighborhoods. Mercy, most of my childhood was spent rounding up various neighbors to play (there were 6-8 families with kids approximately my age), inside or outside, depending on the weather and whom I found, though there were two girls in particular whom I would look for first. I tried to remember some of our neighborhood guidelines, if only to assure Mama that it can work really well: no visits before 9 am or after 9 pm (or was that phone calls?); come in when it's dark (which the assures me that the first was our phone-call rule); not during dinner; let your mom know where you're going and if you change locales; not off the immediate street; you can eat there but check with Mom first about dinner; follow the house rules; the other adult is in charge; keep track of your own toys; clean up before you leave. I'm not sure that helped. So to ease Mama's mind, I snuck upstairs and turned on the monitor, so she could see just how harmless it was. And it was. Even though Video Gamer is a lot more worldly, definitely more rough and tough, significantly more pop culture and digital-world oriented, he is a sweet kid. And our neighbor.
So when he asked again if the kids could come over to play, I said yes, until dinner and sent them across the street, without me, while I watched and waved to his dad who was mowing the lawn. Mama was flabbergasted. I set the timer to remember to go get them, early, knowing that his mom and I would end up gabbing.
Which is exactly what we did. Video Gamer is a year ahead in school and so we talked about kindergarten transitions, her experiences and my concerns. She said that Video Gamer was always asking to come over to play; I said just send him along. Though, I told her that he thought our house, with its lack of video games, was lame. Then I finally rounded up Sis and Bud, who were enjoying playing with Video Gamer's pirate toys and admiring his large collection of Silly Bandz, and begged to be able to play again.
Of course. It was a very momentous occasion, our first drop-in by a neighbor kid, hopefully the beginning of many. Because that's the kind of suburban childhood we envision for our kids . . . . even if it feels a little strange at first.
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