Summer Fun 2013: A Week of Playdates

Sis is a single child this week while her brother is at kung fu camp.  And she's loving it!

But not with me.

While I had visions of lots of mother-daughter activities--crafts, baking, American Girl dolls, just hanging out--she had visions of playing with all of her friends.  ALONE.

And so we've booked playdates for the whole week, here, one a day.  Morning to afternoon, lunch included.

And while it's not what I had envisioned, I'm glad she's having a great time.

Rock On!

Mama Teacher and CJ came for a visit today, a spur-of-the-moment playdate on what should have been the first day of school. And the three kids had a dance party, with CJ yelling, "Rock on!" and playing air guitar. Then he requested AC/DC! So Bud put on . . . "Shakalaka Baby" from the Broadway musical, Bombay Dreams. Yeah, we don't have much rock-n-roll here. But it's kinda embarrassing that he merely equated it with a fast beat. We'll have to work on that (not that I'm an expert--I can't name a single AC/DC song! I was an 80s pop gal.). So I got him to put on "Dynamite" which had them all moving, as did Rent's "Today for You." CJ invented a new move, what we called "the angel" because it looked like he was making snow angels on the ground. Then Sis started rolling around in a tucked position--"the snowball!" Rock on, dancing fiends!

Drop Off

We're in the midst of a drop-off playdate, our very first here. I have left the kids at others' houses in time of childcare need a few times (and much more rarely, vice versa), but this is the first time a child has come here for a pre-arranged, unchaperoned visit.

And it's odd.

The kids were exuberant getting off the bus and almost couldn't bare the time it took for their little school friend to get here. They cheerfully changed clothes while planning all the games they could play.

After a bit of a reluctant start as the friend settled in, the playdate is in full swing. The house is trashed--dolls out, fort built, rock band instruments abandoned, stuffed animals strewn about. But at least the frantic exuberance of those first 15 minutes is over as they jumped off furniture, couldn't settle on a game, and ran from room to room trying everything. Still, though, "what do you want to play now?" erupts every now and then. I think they've changed games a dozen times.

And the twins are gracefully taking turns as the guest plays with one and then the other based on the game at hand. First dolls, then dancing, Star Wars and then fairies, race track and then music. We had talked about being a good host and they are performing the task perfectly. So far.

Lunch is soon, my main role in the whole thing. Macaroni and cheese. Meatballs and vegetables. Fruit and cookies. Otherwise, I'm standing here at the computer, present but not visible, listening but not interacting, making sure no one (and nothing) gets hurt while they have a good time. So far, so good.

The Boy Who Came Before Dinner

The doorbell rang. 6:00 p.m. on a Saturday. Too late for Fed Ex; no UPS on Saturdays. And that cable guy had already talked to us. Who could it be?

I saw a blonde head bobbing up and down on our front step. Ahh, the neighbor boy. Let's call him Video Gamer. "Can Sis and Bud play?"

Sure. And I invited him in. Sis and Bud were excited by their visitor and immediately started trying to entice him with toys, games, and kung fu demonstrations. He only asked, "Don't you have any video games?"

Video Gamer is 5 1/2 but has an 18-year old brother, so has grown up playing bigger-kid games. He likes video games, computer games, handheld games, whatever digital games, Nintendo, X Box, Wii, Playstation, (goodness, have I even gotten those correct?). He spotted that Sis and Bud had been playing on PBSkids.com and went over immediately--to change the website for different games! I interrupted to say we only played PBS games (figuring he wasn't looking for Starfall.com or Nickjr.com either!). Could Sis and Bud go to his house to play games? Soon, though, they settled into a game of chase and then some shadow play in the bedroom with some of the flashlight sets Sis and Bud got for their birthday.

Mama was beside herself. What was he doing here? Who comes over and knocks on the door to play without advanced email negotiations between moms weeks in advance? What should we do with him? Did his folks know he was here?

I laughed, "Hon, this is how kids end up staying for dinner! Better not tell him we're having steak!" Seriously, though, this kind of neighborhood play is completely outside of Mama's realm of experience, growing up in a condo near an apartment complex in the heart of Queens, without neighborly kids running around. Kids just didn't venture out, alone, to play with others.

She finished dinner; I was on playdate duty. I tried to reassure her that this was normal in neighborhoods. Mercy, most of my childhood was spent rounding up various neighbors to play (there were 6-8 families with kids approximately my age), inside or outside, depending on the weather and whom I found, though there were two girls in particular whom I would look for first. I tried to remember some of our neighborhood guidelines, if only to assure Mama that it can work really well: no visits before 9 am or after 9 pm (or was that phone calls?); come in when it's dark (which the assures me that the first was our phone-call rule); not during dinner; let your mom know where you're going and if you change locales; not off the immediate street; you can eat there but check with Mom first about dinner; follow the house rules; the other adult is in charge; keep track of your own toys; clean up before you leave. I'm not sure that helped. So to ease Mama's mind, I snuck upstairs and turned on the monitor, so she could see just how harmless it was. And it was. Even though Video Gamer is a lot more worldly, definitely more rough and tough, significantly more pop culture and digital-world oriented, he is a sweet kid. And our neighbor.

So when he asked again if the kids could come over to play, I said yes, until dinner and sent them across the street, without me, while I watched and waved to his dad who was mowing the lawn. Mama was flabbergasted. I set the timer to remember to go get them, early, knowing that his mom and I would end up gabbing.

Which is exactly what we did. Video Gamer is a year ahead in school and so we talked about kindergarten transitions, her experiences and my concerns. She said that Video Gamer was always asking to come over to play; I said just send him along. Though, I told her that he thought our house, with its lack of video games, was lame. Then I finally rounded up Sis and Bud, who were enjoying playing with Video Gamer's pirate toys and admiring his large collection of Silly Bandz, and begged to be able to play again.

Of course. It was a very momentous occasion, our first drop-in by a neighbor kid, hopefully the beginning of many. Because that's the kind of suburban childhood we envision for our kids . . . . even if it feels a little strange at first.

Day is (Almost) Done

And it is closing out on a happy note. The kids had a few more breakdowns outside but managed our big playdate this afternoon with aplomb--no fights, no breakdowns, no tears. In fact, Sis especially really played with her friends, while Bud occupied himself merrily with arts and crafts. And the moms got all caught up, something we haven't managed in about a month, between illness, vacation, school activities, and the like. The house is trashed, dinner is made, the kids are taking a tv break, Mama is on her way home (though she will be extra late because the offsite meeting was further away than the office), and I feel like we made it through the day well enough. Friends (and Aunt Banana who called to chat for a good long time) always make it better.

Rise Up: Playdate Pretzels

I knew I was going to enjoy yesterday's playdate with a new family when I walked in and the mom was pulling soft pretzel dough out of her bread machine! I like soft pretzels but had never made them, until yesterday. The kids loved shaping their own--Sis made her initial (sans salt)! I tried the traditional shape but didn't wrap the twist enough and ended up with a tower o'pretzel when it puffed. Good, though. And they were white whole wheat, from Trader Joe's flour. Definitely a do-again. And the pretzels, too!

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SOFT PRETZEL DOUGH
Ingredients: 16 Pretzels
Water, 80ºF/27ºC 1-1/4 cups
Egg Yolk, room temperature 1
Oil 1 TBL
Sugar 2 TBL
Salt 1-1/2 tsp
White Pepper 1/8 tsp
Bread Flour 3-1/2 cups
Active Dry Yeast 2-1/4 tsp
Select Dough Course 11 (this is from the Breadman Instruction Manual---I don't have that machine but will use the dough cycle on my Oster.)

Glaze:
Egg White 1
Water 1 TBL
Toppings: (optional):
Kosher salt, sesame seeds
Method:
1. On a lightly floured surface cut dough into pieces. Roll each piece into a 16-inch rope.
Cross the ends of the rope to make a loop; twist the crossed ends once and fold across
the loop.
2. Place on a greased baking sheet 1-1/2-inches apart. Brush with glaze and sprinkle with
topping. Bake at 375ºF/190ºC for 15 to 20 minutes or until done.
Variation:
Pepperoni Pretzel: Add 1 cup sliced pepperoni and 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese to
dough ingredients. Follow method of completion.

Breadman Bread Machine Instruction Manual

Out of the Crowd

One of the kids new favorite series is The Berenstain Bears. Never one of my favorites--though one of Aunt Banana's, as I recall--I hadn't realized they were so lesson-based, even preachy. But mostly, it's preachy in a good way, or at least one in line with most of my parenting philosophies. When the kids were getting a bit souvenir-focused on spring break, we reminded them of the Berenstain bears book about the "gimmies." And they've also been fascinated with the book about the in-crowd.

Except this morning, before school, Sis was concerned about being out. "Mommy, there's a kid at school who doesn't play with me. I want him to. But he doesn't." Sniff. "He has another best buddy." Double sniff. What to do? I suggested she keep trying and asked if she wanted me to ask the teacher for ideas (like, does this little friend have a favorite play area that Sis could join in?).

And when I picked her up this afternoon, she and said friend were playing together as his mom and I walked up. Amazingly, he then told his mom that Sis had said that she was allowed to have playdates and could she please please please come over right now? I was floored, having just related the morning's conversation to the little friend's mom to see if she had any insight. And she'd said that he talks about Sis a lot. And so we've agreed to schedule a playdate for next week.

I wish all social problems were so easily resolved. There will come a time, sooner than I'd like, that moms and playdates and running around at recess together won't fix it.