Midnight Oil

At what point does it not make any sense to pretend or even try to be asleep anymore?

I haven't been sleeping well. And in some ways, that's been a good thing: I think my waking up to flip over (and move my myriad of supportive pillows) or go to the bathroom keep my back from becoming incredibly stiff overnight. I don't know if it is mental anxiety about my back waking me up or physical strain from not moving/sleeping for stretches at a time (I do always wake up more tight than I go to bed), or something else, but I've seen almost every hour this week and my back isn't as loose as that would imply! Tonight alone, after going to bed at 10:45 ish, I saw midnight and 1 and have now, at 5 with light breaking and birds singing, been up for more than 2 hours. I have ruminated on everything under the sun, not even essentially stressful things--like, um, Kagan's nomination and the make-up of the Supreme Court, plus that recent article on the demise of White Protestantism and how that can be viewed as a meritocratic success. So not miserable, just awake. And I think I'm up for the day. The cats have stirred and the kids will be up in less than 2 hours. I'm not even sure I could make myself go to sleep by then if I wanted to. Well, though, I would want to.

Hope you're not reading this "real-time," except maybe you, Lambeth, as it's, what 11:15 am where you are. Maybe my body is telling me I need to move to England or something . . .