The Pursuit of Happiness

Check out the latest Kristof op-ed about what makes people happy. He sets it up by contrasting Single, Rich, White Male with Married, Not-as-Rich, Black Female. And the answer of who is happier is predictable if you read up on these kinds of things:

Men are no happier than women, and people in sunny areas no happier than people in chillier climates. The evidence on health is complex, but even chronic health problems (like those requiring dialysis) may have surprisingly little long-term effect on happiness, because we adjust to them. Beautiful people aren’t happier than ugly people, although cosmetic surgery does seem to leave patients feeling brighter. Whites are happier than blacks, but only very slightly. And young people are actually a bit less happy than older folks, at least up to age 65.

And of course, this being Kristof, author of Half the Sky, and one of my favorite NYT columnists, he suggests helping others and one of the main paths to happiness:

So at a time of vast needs, from Haiti to our own cities, here’s a nice opportunity for symbiosis: so many afflicted people, and so much benefit to us if we try to help them. Let’s remember that while charity has a mixed record helping others, it has an almost perfect record of helping ourselves. Helping others may be as primal a human pleasure as food or sex.

It reminds me of something I read in UU World (summer 2009) recently, "The Human Condition," by Kenneth W. Collier, about the Ego and the spirit and the brokenness of the human condition. Mainly, he posits, people have their egos, which involve figuring out who they are and what makes them tick (me, myself, and I alone), but they also have spirits that long for connection and community (but it's lonely being alone!). The brokenness comes when Ego takes over and we do not connect with others. Religion, spirituality, faith (call it what you will and it need not be a formal, organized thing) and, I would add faith community or church, helps heal the brokenness, helps connect us to one another. In fact, for me, church addresses both Ego and spirit--it helps me figure out who I am underneath my skin and then reminds me that "we are all one beneath the skin." And thus, as Kristof notes, helping others really does also help ourselves.