And so I've been counting my breaths. It's been really hard for me lately. I lose track of which number I'm on and have to start over, get frustrated that I'm not focused . . . and then the "jackal" voice starts that I'm "not doing it right." And I keep trying but sometimes the 5 minutes becomes an exercise in frustration instead of real meditation.
I just read an article in Shambhala Sun (and I really need to remember to subscribe to that) by Thich Nhat Hanh (link contains just a very short excerpt) that outlines steps for mindfulness. And one of them is, instead of counting breaths while meditating, to just acknowledge the breathing in and the breathing out: "Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in." And so this afternoon, with the kids happily playing pirates in the basement (pirates are very big in our house right now), I sat recognizing my breath in and breath out. And then once I could do that for a bit, settled in, shall we say, I started counting breaths again. And this time, I was able to sustain my counting to 10 more than I have in awhile, without getting distracted or disappointed in having to start all over.
And that has made all the difference.
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