In the Details

The Day Before
Waiting for Gommie and Pop to arrive near to killed us all. Sis was beside herself with excitement, to the point of confusion. "I'm so embarrassed!" she exclaimed, meaning excited. We tried to distract ourselves but at best of times the ruses were transparent; at the worst, frustrating in themselves. And then I saw on the computer that their plane was going to be late! ERGGGHHHHH. They'd miss their train and be about an hour later than we expected. Except Gommie works miracles when it comes to getting to Connecticut, because not 50 minutes after merely landing at La Guardia, she was calling me from GCT to say they had plently of time and would make their train. Hallelujah!

The kids and I had been planning the day meticulously. We'd even made a timeline of Gommie and Pop's travels on the plane, taxi, and train, complete with picture of the phone she would call me from to say what train they were on; below this was a timeline of our day--eat, play, cook, lunch, rest time, errands, pick up Gommie and Pop at the train. So, donning our clothes, we ran off to deliver three tins of treats to the pediatrician, vet, and physical therapy office, with the kids smiling shyly as they handed over the gifts. But they were in such a hurry and we got done so fast, that we sat at Starbucks' for about 30 minutes biding our time (and getting G & P coffee).

But there they were, right on time, on the train platform. Five very happy people united for the holidays. Let the fun begin!

Christmas Eve
We played and played on Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning: tussle, "the old horse," "airplane," "I see you!" and other fun, oftentimes rough, games. We also made jello for Christmas dinner and gingerbread for the trifle we would have. There were stories to read, dances to do, and lots of pretend meals. In other words, the usual.

Ma, Gong, and Goo showed up mid-morning to join the fun and we all had a big lunch of meats, cheeses, rolls, pickles, and condiments. Yummy! I especially liked the smoked mozzarella. With lots of balsamic vinegar on the bread. Bud and Sis like ham roll-ups. After lunch, the kids rested and all the grandparents ran errands. I made cranberry sauces. Mama did a thousand little things. Goo kept the kids company upstairs while they watched tv.

And then it was time to get married. The joyful chaos began around 3 when everyone returned. We shepherded kids into clothes, necessities into "the tub" to go with us, and all of us into 3 cars to head to the church around 3:45. I rode with Pop ("fitting" Gommie said) and he sang "Get Me to the Church on Time". Which he did. Where it was so icy, I would've liked to be carried over that threshold. But we al got inside safely with kids, tub, clothes, and cake.

Mama looked fine (that's like handsome, not like okay) in her dark gray suit, with flower boutannier in the holder I'd bought. I eventually dressed in my purple/lavender gown with purple shawl (Gommie and Bud helped me get dressed in the little bathroom)--and white tennis shoes! A congregant asked afterwards if I'd worn those shoes during the ceremony. "You bet," I said. "As a parent, you need all the support you can get!" Besides, they were comfortable. Bud told me I was beautiful, which was right up there with being his favorite grown-up. Sis had wanted to do her hair like mine, also a big compliment (because I wore a silver flowered hair clip Mama had given me from Thailand years ago--and Sis doesn't usually like things in my hair!). Sis wore a black velvety jumper with small pink floral embroidery that twirled really well; she was partial to the pink shirt that went with it. Bud insisted on wearing his Yankees Halloween costume shirt instead of the train sweater we bought. Who cares?! See, that's what I meant by casual, homey, playful wedding.

So in addition to the wedding family, there were my parents, Mama's parents and brother, two ladies from church, Mama Teacher and family (thanks again for helping me choose a dress. I think we got it right!), and the minister and her son. An even 12 guests. My favorite number. We headed to the sanctuary, mainly because Bud and Sis's little hands were getting too friendly with the two-tiered wedding cake with white icing and deep purple flowers and dark green leaves (which Pop had had in the trunk of the rental car all day--it was cool enough, and better than trying to cram it in our holiday-laden fridge.)

We got everyone setted into seats, put the wedding CD Mama had made on the system (with "Lover's Waltz," "Appalachian Spring," a tune from Fried Green Tomatoes and one from Little Women), and headed to the back of the church. We processed/meandered/walked/marched up the aisle at an uneven pace in an irregular grouping, with Sis holding her bouquet and the ring pillow (which Bud had surrendered) and Bud carrying a bouquet too (as he'd wanted one at Aunt Banana and Uncle Soccer's wedding). The bouquets were designed by Mama, made of silk flowers with some traditional Christmas greenery and holly berries but also deep red miniature roses and pink antique tea roses. Gorgeous. And, oddly, mine felt good in my hand.

Once at the front of the church, the kiddos went to sit with Gommie and Pop. Until they didn't. A few minutes into the minister's very personal and personalized ceremony (she's known us for quite awhile and did our last ceremony), Bud decided he wanted to be with us and came forward, standing between us and taking our hands in his. Sis joined pretty soon after. So, we got married as a family with all of us holding hands (eventually, Mama and I managed to reach across them to hold each other's hands). We said the vows I had written the night before, pledging to take each other "to be no other than yourself, loving you today from all of our yesterdays and through all of our tomorrows." I liked that it incorporated that we had a history of being a couple and that this marriage wasn't the start of something new, but it's continuation with the recognition and approval of the state of Connecticut (and, as the minister said, the blessing of all UUs). We kissed and then all left together. Only to come back to hug all assembled and thank everyone and head together to the hall for some cake.

For the first wedding I was a bridesmaid--Lambeth, you were there--(I have been a bridesmaid/maid of honor three times: in Dallas, in Nashville, and in Austin), the bride had Victorian wedding pulls on ribbons that each attendant pulled from underneath the cake; she gave us a bracelet to wear them with. I still have mine: I got the wedding ring. The next to marry. Would you believe I had met Mama just a few weeks before? Anyway, I loved that touch but, not having attendants, had decided very last minute to purchase some for the family that would be there. I got a traditional wedding set and a kid's birthday set, making sure that Sis would pull the bunny (which we switched to a red ribbon, more attractive to her because red is "pink-ish.") I had 12 total, which was the total number of guests. So they picked a ribbon, pulled it out of the cake, and learned their fortune: fortune, contented life, happy home, luck, love, I forget all the others. I think everyone liked that part--it was one of my favorites--and they got to take something home. Then we cut the cake (eschewing the "share the first piece" face smooshing) and distributed yummy chocolate with strawberry filling cake to everyone. Bud ate the filling of 4 pieces. Mr. Teacher noted that the yummy chocolate cake was, however, not traditional. But then, as we laughed, not much was.

And then it was time for Christmas Eve service. Quickly as that, the wedding was over and we turned our attention to the holiday at hand. Though, it was fun, when people commented on how dressed up I was (Mama was dressed up too but I guess a suit isn't as unusual as a ball gown-type thing), I told them it was because I'd just gotten married. Such looks of surprise! Not because of the lesbian thing (congregants are all very used to lesbians in general and us in particular) but because of the timing of it (same look, though with less excitement and enthusiasm, that I got from the cake people and the wedding dress people! Does that grammar make sense? Or is it "though with more excitement?" I'm getting my antecedents and therefore my adjectives confused). Anyway, people were happy.

Service was beautiful with lots of singing and touching stories, even if the kids did get a litte chatty during the stories. And the Christmas tree we'd helped decorate. And the candles everyone lit to hold during "Silent Night." I had my second revelation wearing my wedding dress, which had boning in the stays: it's hard to sit comfortably in a pew for any length of time (the first was "you can't step backwards if your dress has a train!"). After service and potluck, where we shared the remaining tier of the cake, we headed home. The work of Christmas was about to start.

But, like most work, it's better just to enjoy the fruits of the labor (as my dad has been known to say, "don't tell me about the labor, just show me the baby). Let's just say, we got ready for Christmas. The kids helped, too, by sprinkling oatmeal and baby carrots in the yard to feed Santa's reindeer (an inspired idea from Mama Teacher, whose CJ had gotten a baggie of glittered oatmeal as a present from a teacher) and by putting out a plate of cookies for Santa. And, eventually, we were all asleep.

Oh, there was one more wedding item: we opened two gifts, a gorgeous crystal punch bowl service from my sis and her hubby and a wonderful handmade perpetual calendar with our family name and "Est. 1997" etched in it. It almost made us giggle aloud to have wedding presents to open. Thank you.

Christmas
True to form, I was up first. A gust of wind shook the house at 5:56 a.m. and I made a mental note that I didn't think I'd heard any trees hit anything. But the kids refused to wake up, despite the wind, their own coughing and sighing, Mama going downstairs to meditate, my parents arriving early at 6:45 so as not to miss the initial Christmas surprise, and even my going to the bathroom. Wake up, already! And they did, sometime around 7 ish.

And surprised they were! With the white lights glowing on the tree we'd all decorated with cookie cutters, preschool glittery wreaths, stuffed ornaments, and salt dough ornaments, the array of presents below seemed to shine. Including a large three-story dollhouse and a drum kit with cymbal. Wow!

The next two hours of present-opening is a happy blur. Sis and Bud were neither greedy nor ravenous in their consumption of the gifts, but actually took turns and even passed some out to others. They were very proud of their ability to spot their own names, even though they couldn't differentiate between the "to" and the "send" lines on the tags. Mind you, I don't think any of the adults actually got to unwrap their own presents, but that was okay. Sis kept saying it was the "best Christmas ever." And they both kept saying, "it's what I've always wanted!" But then they'd tire of opening new presents and return to playing with the few that were already open. Bud did several solos on the drum kit, either stationed on the floor or on our coffee table "stage." Sis distributed her little Pet Shop critters around the dollhouse. They both raved about pez candy to eat from "repressors" (to be confused with "dispensors"). Mama had fun "playing" with putting all the new Thomas destinations on the train table (because she'd already spent the last month "playing" with our new iPod and uploading about 10,000 songs). I enjoyed glancing at all the great books I received (and will be posting about here eventually, including Being Dead is No Excuse a relatively light book about Southern funerary foods and customs--I'm almost done reading it). Pop snuggled up in the plaid fleece blanket I made him. Gommie watched the kids and took pictures. All in all, lots of great presents and even more fun just being all together.

The rest of the day was filled with playing, rearranging the house to make room for the new toys (which we had started the night before), napping, eating, talking on the phone to relatives, and repeating most of those activities. We forgot to wish the baby Jesus a "happy birthday" but remembered to draw and write on our holiday tablecoth. Everyone was zonked by 6:30, when we got the kids safely in bed and Gommie and Pop went back to their hotel for the night.

But Mama and I didn't go right to sleep. After finishing up the kitchen and the living room, we sat and processed everything in the last 48 hours. It had been a very momentous, very chaotic, and very wonderful two days.

Merry Christmas!

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Jello Salad--Cranberry Jello Salad

2 (6 oz.) boxes raspberry Jello
2 cans whole berry cranberry sauce
1 c. mandarin oranges
1 (20 oz.) can crushed pineapple, drained
2 lg. apples, chopped
4 c. hot water
1 c. pecans, chopped (optional)

Place the Jello and hot water into a large bowl and whip until dissolved. Into another bowl put the chopped apples, cranberry sauce, oranges and pineapples which have been drained. Combine with the dissolved Jello and pour into a 9 x 13 inch pan. Chill until set. A cup of pecans can be used if desired. This is very good with ham or turkey.

cooks.com


Gingerbread Pumpkin Trifle

2 (14-ounce) packages gingerbread mix
2 (5.1-ounce) boxes instant vanilla pudding mix (and milk)
2 cans pumpkin
1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping
1/2 box gingersnaps, crushed

Bake the gingerbread according to the package directions; cool completely.

Meanwhile, prepare the pudding and set aside to thicken. Stir the pumpkin into the pudding.

Layer 1/2 of the gingerbread on bottom of trifle dish or big bowl. Pour 1/2 of the pudding mixture over the gingerbread, then add a layer of whipped topping. Repeat with the remaining gingerbread, pudding, and whipped topping.

Sprinkle of the top with crushed gingersnaps, if desired. Refrigerate overnight. Trifle can be layered in a punch bowl.

originally Paula Deen, but with several simplifications