Sexism and Thomas the Tank Engine

"Did you tell your friend that we would be here?" his wife asked.

"No, why would he come? He just has daughters," the husband replied.

It must be a sentiment shared by many CT parents, as girls were few and far between at the Day out with Thomas. Lots of moms, more dads than you see at almost any event, boys galore. And just Sis and a few others. But I'd wager that Sis had as much fun as Bud. They both loved the amusement park rides--boats, firetrucks, and carousel. Sis especially liked getting a temporary Rosie tattoo and meeting Sir Topham Hatt. Bud didn't like that at all, much preferring to play with the toy trains on the track layouts. And riding Thomas the Tank Engine? That was best of all. Sis and Bud sat taking it all in, concentrating, mesmerized by the rumble of the engine, the sight of white steam spreading across the meadow, the smell of burning coal, the smooth leather seats that reversed to allow family groupings, even the luggage rack overhead where we happily placed all of our jackets. But it wasn't until we received our Jr Engineer certificates and left the train that they cracked huge smiles. Hers just as big as his.

I must admit to a little of my own sexism yesterday. And it has to do with my perceptions of the differences of male and female parenting. For two years running at Day out with Thomas, plus other situations like birthday parties when dads are present too, I have noticed that dads seem to be a lot less likely to step in and enforce a civil, social code of behavior with their children (specifically their sons). How many times yesterday did I see dads step back while their sons got into shoving matches and tug-o'wars for train engines? But as soon as moms showed up, the moms would pull the boys apart, often insisting that they share or, if not, have to leave the play area. Of course, being an enforcer of social behavior, I'm always a little surprised at some dads' complete lack of attention to such things. Not just surprised, annoyed. Frustrated. Righteous, even. This is, of course, a complete and stereotypical generalization, because I know lackadasical moms and disciplined dads. And I'm both at times, different times. But as a keen observer of fatherhood from a distance, I often wonder exactly how the parenting differs. And this is what I've noticed--there is just a lot less of "what do we say?" or "you need to share" or "your turn is over now so let's give that toy to the other little boy" and a lot more turning a blind eye to toy snatching and shoving. I've got some incomplete, sociologically and psychologically weak, even sexist theories as to why.

You with dads in the family, or dads yoursevles, can you help me out? What's going on? Or am I way off base?