How To Be A Better (fill in the blank)

For whatever reason (and I'm not going to take it personally), several people have recommended a variety of self-improvement, psychology, and parenting books to me recently. For the record, while I'm always interested in new or useful tools for navigating life's challenges, I don't like being made to feel inadequate so that I will pay for a book or system to make me better (which is why I don't like most parenting or women's magazines). I like my advice free or at least cheap (and value it as such until it proves successful), without any guilt or inferiority complexes attached. For the most part, these pass the initial screening:

• Loving Guidance: My mom pointed me towards this website after a long disclaimer about how she knew I was a conscientious parent and probably didn't need it but wouldn't I like to take a look. I did and found Dr. Becky Bailey's Top Ten To-Do's For Discipline a decent list of parenting techniques. I am a little wary of doctors whose goal seems to be the selling of expensive programs and materials to schools and parents. But that doesn't mean that the strategy is inherently suspect. Her main goals seem to be empowering the child with his or her own behavior management (such as, when another child wrongs them and they come crying to you, ask "Did you like that?" The answer is, of course, "no." And so the child is encouraged to go tell the perpetrator. We have been telling the kiddos that they need to talk to the person that can fix the problem. Same thing). As with all approaches, consistency and thoughtfulness really are the key. Trust yourself, respect the child, consider the Wiccan Rede/Golden Rule (or the similar rule of your spiritual path). In the end, we won't know how we have really done for 30 years or more, as my friend Lambeth reminds me constantly (and he can--his children are all grown). But until then, if these strategies--or those of Alfie Kohn (more on him in a later post about charts), Sears, Brazelton, Dr. Spock, Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication), or even Super Nanny--help, go for it.
• Personal Renewal: Personal Renewal Groups (PRG), an offshoot of Renee Peterson Trudeau's The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate, and Re-Balance Your Life, are a flexible life-coaching system designed to explore "1) how to reconnect with who you are, 2) strategies for making self-care/nurturing a priority so you can live, love and parent optimally and 3) how to experience greater life balance." As you know, I am in a state of transition, with a friend moving and the desire to reconnect with my professional, academic self; my mom friends are in a similar state of flux. And so, one of us who hopes to become a life coach wants to start a PRG. I'll participate, if only because I 1) like to socialize with my adult friends without the kids around and 2) would like to talk about something other than kids (and sex. Why are those always the two topics??)
• Seven Choices: My mom has also recommended Elizabeth Harper Neeld's Seven Choices: Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World. It sounds a lot like a self-help Year of Magical Thinking or a more recent Necessary Losses. According to the author's website, this book, which was distributed by the American Red Cross after September 11, 2001," maps the complete grieving and change process and provides a way to respond to change by identifying seven positive choices that lead to a 'new normal.' These positive choices bring healing and stability and show how to avoid getting stuck in mourning, anger, bitterness and sadness." I'm interested in pastoral care and would find this fascinating, I think. My mom raved about her writing style and her message, which is big praise from a woman who doesn't read self-help books either.

Any other suggestions from the hoi polloi?