People rarely believe the comments we get out in public sometimes, specifically when people don't recognize Mama for who she is, namely, my wife. But here are three, from the last month:
1. Mama went shopping on her lunch hour with a co-worker who is not much older than she is. The clerk intimated that Mama was her son. (Okay, this was a co-worker and not me, but it's the same principle.)
2. We were being seated at a restaurant and were asked if we wanted THREE kids' menus, including one for my son.
3. We met the family of our GP at the movie theater and apparently later that night the teenagers in the group asked about my teenage son!
. . . so not only does Mama look like a boy (which, admittedly, I can see) and my child (harder to see, since I'm only 4 years older), but she must be cute enough to be cruised by some teenage girls.
As I told the restaurant server, I can only hope she goes gray before me so that people realize I'm not her mom.
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Friday, August 16, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
A Very Unbirthday
The birthday invitation said, "girls only." Even though the birthday girl was close friends with Bud. How to explain then that his sister was invited to the birthday party but not him? So we offered sushi as compensation, but he was still disappointed. As apparently the birthday girl told him (I'll add "gloatingly!") he would be. And when I RSVP'd for Sis, I told her mom as much. A week later, though, the girl changed her mind and invited Bud. And they all had a marvelous time at the party.
But this boy-girl thing is becoming more and more of an issue. We knew that two lesbians raising a son would have it's challenges and we've tried to allay some of the difficulties. As such, we're particularly sensitive to gender issues We've always encouraged the kids to choose their own friends not based on gender but on similarity of interests; we've always let them choose their own toys, be it pink tutus (Bud) or Star Wars action figures (Sis). But their friends are becoming increasingly gender-stratified, as is their world. Gymnastics classes are separated by gender. Scouts are girl or boy. And birthday parties. And sleepovers. Bud, like Sis, would like to have a sleepover with his friends. But his friends are all girls. And I know that it will never happen. Out of habit, I understand; boys and girls don't sleepover. But why? Surely it's rather innocent at 7 or 8?
It got me thinking. Where does this enforced gender separation come from? Do girls and boys themselves want the separation? Sometimes, I think they absolutely do. And developmentally and educationally, there are reasons behind gender segregation, I'm sure (as a feminist, I absolutely recognize the importance of female-only spaces, and by extension male. But don't get me started on our school's new "Father's Club" meant as a counterbalance to the PTA, which is not in essence women only, so why the need for dads to be different? I think it speaks to the comfort--or dis--of the genders communicating and working together.). But I'm speaking beyond simple classes and playdates, about the instillation of the belief, through the ways we treat them (as opposed to the words we intone), that boys and girls have little commonality.
But are parents somehow culpable, too? We tell boys and girls for years that they are different--pink and blue, tutus and action figures, ballet and football. They must internalize this difference and really believe that they are somehow fundamentally different from the other gender. Even when we pay lip service to girls can do what boys do--but why would they believe us? And then, from second grade until junior high, we segregate them in after school activities and playdates, until with hormones raging, they seek each other again, with their heads filled with years of myths, assumptions, stereotypes, but little practical experience, etc of the "Other." No wonder there is so much teenage agita over relationships and sex. Or even adult discomfort--men from Mars, women from Venus; men like football, women like lipstick; men are silent, women talk incessantly; men have Fathers' Club and women have the PTA.
Surely we are all mature enough to recognize these essentialisms as inherently false? How do these stereotypes really serve us? And doesn't the separation of boys and girls do more harm than good?
It's a bit of a leap, but Nicholas Kristoff notes, in Half the Sky, that in countries where the genders are most segregated, namely Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, etc, there are the least rights for women and most violence, even terrorism, from men. It makes me look at even our relatively innocuous gender segregation differently.
And my kids will be inviting their friends--not just a gender--to their birthday party.
But this boy-girl thing is becoming more and more of an issue. We knew that two lesbians raising a son would have it's challenges and we've tried to allay some of the difficulties. As such, we're particularly sensitive to gender issues We've always encouraged the kids to choose their own friends not based on gender but on similarity of interests; we've always let them choose their own toys, be it pink tutus (Bud) or Star Wars action figures (Sis). But their friends are becoming increasingly gender-stratified, as is their world. Gymnastics classes are separated by gender. Scouts are girl or boy. And birthday parties. And sleepovers. Bud, like Sis, would like to have a sleepover with his friends. But his friends are all girls. And I know that it will never happen. Out of habit, I understand; boys and girls don't sleepover. But why? Surely it's rather innocent at 7 or 8?
It got me thinking. Where does this enforced gender separation come from? Do girls and boys themselves want the separation? Sometimes, I think they absolutely do. And developmentally and educationally, there are reasons behind gender segregation, I'm sure (as a feminist, I absolutely recognize the importance of female-only spaces, and by extension male. But don't get me started on our school's new "Father's Club" meant as a counterbalance to the PTA, which is not in essence women only, so why the need for dads to be different? I think it speaks to the comfort--or dis--of the genders communicating and working together.). But I'm speaking beyond simple classes and playdates, about the instillation of the belief, through the ways we treat them (as opposed to the words we intone), that boys and girls have little commonality.
But are parents somehow culpable, too? We tell boys and girls for years that they are different--pink and blue, tutus and action figures, ballet and football. They must internalize this difference and really believe that they are somehow fundamentally different from the other gender. Even when we pay lip service to girls can do what boys do--but why would they believe us? And then, from second grade until junior high, we segregate them in after school activities and playdates, until with hormones raging, they seek each other again, with their heads filled with years of myths, assumptions, stereotypes, but little practical experience, etc of the "Other." No wonder there is so much teenage agita over relationships and sex. Or even adult discomfort--men from Mars, women from Venus; men like football, women like lipstick; men are silent, women talk incessantly; men have Fathers' Club and women have the PTA.
Surely we are all mature enough to recognize these essentialisms as inherently false? How do these stereotypes really serve us? And doesn't the separation of boys and girls do more harm than good?
It's a bit of a leap, but Nicholas Kristoff notes, in Half the Sky, that in countries where the genders are most segregated, namely Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, etc, there are the least rights for women and most violence, even terrorism, from men. It makes me look at even our relatively innocuous gender segregation differently.
And my kids will be inviting their friends--not just a gender--to their birthday party.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Babysitter vs.Yard Boy
My teenage yard guy from up the street gets paid a reasonable $22 each time he mows my lawn, which inevitably includes moving toys and branches from the tree. It usually takes him about an hour.
His little sister comes sometimes and plays with/watches the kids, often while I'm still at home. She makes about one-third of what he does an hour. In fact, my most prized Babysitter, of seven years now, makes a little less an hour than yard guy. And I think I pay within the average (well, more for Babysitter!).
Do I love my lawn more than my kids? Do I think mowing requires more skill than childcare? Is it because I pay him by the job and her by the hour? Is it because he's male? Or is it because, following the professional rate, yard care people just command more in the market? My professional lawn service previously was $25 a week, my professional nanny-service nanny was $19 an hour (plus fees for the agency).
I'm not sure I like it, whatever it is, but I'm glad I don't have to pay my babysitter $22 an hour!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I Want to Be a Boy
Sis decided today that our family needs another boy.
No, she wasn't talking about a daddy.
Mama doesn't want me to go into exactly what Sis wanted, so I'll just say that she has decided that she wants to be a boy. They're cool. Which is exactly what Bud keeps telling her.
I tried to explain that girls were pretty neat too. And then, even though we've stressed equality for the genders, I had to come up with why. Biologically speaking, which was her main concern at the time. Since they beat us with the peeing-standing-up thing, what could I say?
"Um, girls can have babies. If they want to."
Ohmygod, did I really say that? I have just taken a turn into a parenting (and feminist) nightmare.
"Really?" she asked, suddenly curious. Help me, help me, help me.
"Right, boys can't have babies by themselves. They can't be pregnant. You don't have to either. If you don't want to." CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!
And then she seemed to decided that girls were okay, because she said, "I will have a baby and give it to Bud, since he can't." Awh.
I can't tell if I dodged that bullet or not.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Boy or Girl
"Boy or girl," the woman asks.
"Two boys," I answer.
I'm at the Golden Arches drive-thru and I'm trying to choose Happy Meal toys. It looks like it's some kind of animal/insect/dinosaur, with no distinction between boy or girl. So, knowing both kiddos like critters and with no time for a long conversation about it, I go with two boys.
But Sis is getting wise to me and has noticed my peculiar order.
"Mommy, I'm not a boy! I'm a girl! I want a girl toy!"
"But, Sis, I can't tell what the girl toy is and the boy toy is a critter."
"I don't care. I'm a girl. I always want a girl toy."
AGGGGGGHHHHHHH! So, I ask the cashier to please change one of the boys to a girl. And she just looks at me oddly. like how come you don't know the sex of your children?
"See, they're twins and sometimes they like the same things, and sometimes they don't. But today they're a boy and a girl."
They've been two girls, too. The day the toy was watches and I knew Bud would like a watch. When the guy with the food saw us and realized one of the watches for a boy, he kept arguing with me, "but it's pink!" I said that was okay, he could handle pink. He wanted the digital read-out. The man was loathe to hand over the coveted cardboard box of toy-cum-burger. But he did. And oddly, there was a pink watch with a bunny and a purple watch with a cat--Bud got the former and Sis the latter and they were extremely excited to switch to get the "right" ones--right because Sis, of course, must have the bunny; it had nothing to do with the pink.
Blah.
We get the toys, plus cheeseburger (Bud) and nuggets (Sis), and are perplexed. In each box is a tall woman on roller skates.
Is this the boy toy? The girl toy? Is the boy toy a girl? Was there no difference this week? I think that the figurine depicts a character in a movie, Aliens vs. Monsters, but I'm not sure. Confusion reigns. And neither kid likes the toy. Not because it's a girl but because it isn't cute and doesn't really do anything.
Forget the mediocre and suspect food, I'm going to quit going to the golden arches just so I don't have to face these loaded gender stereotypes and my children's predictable responses to cultural norms. I just wish I could throw those in the trash alongside the rollerskating figurine.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
No (Gender) Allowed
Gender identity solidification.
That's the term for the stage all our little ones seem to be entering about now.
And it ain't pretty.
No boys allowed. Girls can't ride tricycles. Boys don't eat carrots.
Yep, Sis actually uttered that last one on Thursday (and the first one, too. I made up the second one. Bud just doesn't care yet). It makes absolutely no sense, except she was eating carrots. And she's a girl. Which means girls eat carrots. And therefore boys don't.
I informally polled my playgroup moms yesterday to see if we're all in the same boat, wondering if I'm seeing it because my girl and boy are the same age. Nope, they all do it--even some of them with no siblings have started excluding boys.
Apparently, as our resident social worker explained, it's all about solidifying one's gendered identity (Miss J, feel free to jump in here and clarify anytime! It's fascinating). They are becoming aware that they are boys and girls and will stay boys and girls and are trying to figure out what that means. And to a three-and-a-half year old, it can mean no pink or no trucks, no backpacks or no carrots. For Sis, girls do what she does; boys don't.
As I mentioned, Bud just doesn't seem to care yet. But then, he has often been a few weeks behind her socially. And don't they say girls mature faster? All the moms I asked had girls (or girls first, and then baby boys), so of course they're seeing what I see.
I imagine as they grow through this stage, the gender identities become very rigid. But, of course, that's the point, right? Internalizing the rules and norms--evident in tv shows, books, daily observations and interactions, particularly at preschool. Can children ever remain gender neutral through this stage or will they always start classifying each other based on gender? And is the gender always so stereotypical? Well, except for those carrots. And is that because we are pretty gender-complicated over here, with no dad, a butch Mama, and a--mercy, I'm not femme or androgynous or butch--granola Mommy? Or because Sis is still working out the rules, which will be more rigidly enforced by peers as she gets older. Heaven help Bud if he still likes to wear his tutu this time next year, or in a few years, right? And when in the world do they start to outgrow this? Of course, some adults never do (i.e. a woman can't be president). Can we mitigate it somehow? I'm sure I went through it, though I don't feel so rigid about gender roles or relationships now. I have an androgynous name, though, and I really wonder if that contributed to my questioning of gender rules as a kid--I was never exactly a "girlie-girl" or a tomboy. Just somewhere in between. Like a lot of kids, I imagine. Or was it because I turned out to be a lesbian (which, when I think back on it, I was all along)? Is this when kids who grow up to be GLBT really first start realizing that they are different? Or, to borrow an overused phrase, is this when men start to come from Mars and women start to come from Venus? Until this stage, are we all gender-blind?
It all reminds me of that Dar Williams's song, "When I Was a Boy."
"I won't forget when Peter Pan
Came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy, I'm glad he didn't check
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck
And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe
Someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too
I was a kid that you would like
Just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw
My neighbor come outside to say
"Get your shirt," I said "No way
It's the last time I'm not breaking any law"
And now I'm in a clothing store
And the sign says, "Less is More"
More that's tight means more to see
More for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat
When I was a boy, see that picture, that was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in
They've got implants to remove
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too
And like the woods where I would creep
It's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, except when I'm being caught off guard
I've had a lonesome awful day
The conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard
And I tell the man I'm with
About the other life I lived
And I say now you're top gun
I have lost and you have won
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too
And you were just like me, and I was just like you"
That's the term for the stage all our little ones seem to be entering about now.
And it ain't pretty.
No boys allowed. Girls can't ride tricycles. Boys don't eat carrots.
Yep, Sis actually uttered that last one on Thursday (and the first one, too. I made up the second one. Bud just doesn't care yet). It makes absolutely no sense, except she was eating carrots. And she's a girl. Which means girls eat carrots. And therefore boys don't.
I informally polled my playgroup moms yesterday to see if we're all in the same boat, wondering if I'm seeing it because my girl and boy are the same age. Nope, they all do it--even some of them with no siblings have started excluding boys.
Apparently, as our resident social worker explained, it's all about solidifying one's gendered identity (Miss J, feel free to jump in here and clarify anytime! It's fascinating). They are becoming aware that they are boys and girls and will stay boys and girls and are trying to figure out what that means. And to a three-and-a-half year old, it can mean no pink or no trucks, no backpacks or no carrots. For Sis, girls do what she does; boys don't.
As I mentioned, Bud just doesn't seem to care yet. But then, he has often been a few weeks behind her socially. And don't they say girls mature faster? All the moms I asked had girls (or girls first, and then baby boys), so of course they're seeing what I see.
I imagine as they grow through this stage, the gender identities become very rigid. But, of course, that's the point, right? Internalizing the rules and norms--evident in tv shows, books, daily observations and interactions, particularly at preschool. Can children ever remain gender neutral through this stage or will they always start classifying each other based on gender? And is the gender always so stereotypical? Well, except for those carrots. And is that because we are pretty gender-complicated over here, with no dad, a butch Mama, and a--mercy, I'm not femme or androgynous or butch--granola Mommy? Or because Sis is still working out the rules, which will be more rigidly enforced by peers as she gets older. Heaven help Bud if he still likes to wear his tutu this time next year, or in a few years, right? And when in the world do they start to outgrow this? Of course, some adults never do (i.e. a woman can't be president). Can we mitigate it somehow? I'm sure I went through it, though I don't feel so rigid about gender roles or relationships now. I have an androgynous name, though, and I really wonder if that contributed to my questioning of gender rules as a kid--I was never exactly a "girlie-girl" or a tomboy. Just somewhere in between. Like a lot of kids, I imagine. Or was it because I turned out to be a lesbian (which, when I think back on it, I was all along)? Is this when kids who grow up to be GLBT really first start realizing that they are different? Or, to borrow an overused phrase, is this when men start to come from Mars and women start to come from Venus? Until this stage, are we all gender-blind?
It all reminds me of that Dar Williams's song, "When I Was a Boy."
"I won't forget when Peter Pan
Came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy, I'm glad he didn't check
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other's lives out on the pirate's deck
And I remember that night
When I'm leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it's not safe
Someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home
When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don't know how I survived
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew
And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too
I was a kid that you would like
Just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw
My neighbor come outside to say
"Get your shirt," I said "No way
It's the last time I'm not breaking any law"
And now I'm in a clothing store
And the sign says, "Less is More"
More that's tight means more to see
More for them, not more for me
That can't help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat
When I was a boy, see that picture, that was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change
They got pills to sell, they've got implants to put in
They've got implants to remove
But I am not forgetting
That I was a boy too
And like the woods where I would creep
It's a secret I can keep
Except when I'm tired, except when I'm being caught off guard
I've had a lonesome awful day
The conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard
And I tell the man I'm with
About the other life I lived
And I say now you're top gun
I have lost and you have won
And he says, "Oh no, no, can't you see
When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked
And I could always cry, now even when I'm alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too
And you were just like me, and I was just like you"
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Little Men and Little Women
Today's post on Motherlode really bothers me. The guest blogger writes at length about how she wanted daughters and got sons. I'm going to quote at length:
My goodness, anti-feminism and latent homophobia all in one post. I think this woman wanted Barbie Dolls and not daughters. It's a distorted gender politics which decrees that the sex of your children dictates your own personal identity and, apparently, happiness; what a burden to lay at the feet of children.
Of course, I have one of each and am glad, but not because I wanted a Barbie and a George Bailey. With no other men in our immediate family, I wanted to have a son and Sis to have a brother. And not having grown up with brothers myself nor having many male friends, I felt more comfortable thinking about raising a daughter and relating to issues girls and women face in our society. But in the end, I didn't much care what sex they were. I just wanted two so they could have each other.
My future daughter had a lot of Anne of Green Gables and Ramona Quimby to look
forward to, as well as French braids and tutus and Mary Janes and apron dresses.
She was going to watch “Felicity” marathons with me and ogle the new J. Crew
catalog and have annual viewings of “It’s a Wonderful Life” with me under a
blanket with hot chocolate and lots of whipped cream. She was going to be, I
thought, my best friend. You know, until she reached her teenage years and all.
But that would take a loooong time, and then she would come back to me and we
could plan a wedding together and I could watch her fall in love and have babies
of her own.
My worst nightmare, back then, was that I would end up being a
Mom of Boys, one of those women with a “practical” haircut and flat shoes who
spent her afternoons at the baseball field and washed a lot of sweaty athletic
clothes. A Mom of Boys bought a lot of boring clothes for her children — polo
shirts and khaki shorts and Nike trainers. She was looked on with pity by the
Moms of Girls, who color-coordinated with their daughters and took them on trips
to the American Girl store and “The Nutcracker” and who had princess birthdays
and tea parties with their mommy friends.
My goodness, anti-feminism and latent homophobia all in one post. I think this woman wanted Barbie Dolls and not daughters. It's a distorted gender politics which decrees that the sex of your children dictates your own personal identity and, apparently, happiness; what a burden to lay at the feet of children.
Of course, I have one of each and am glad, but not because I wanted a Barbie and a George Bailey. With no other men in our immediate family, I wanted to have a son and Sis to have a brother. And not having grown up with brothers myself nor having many male friends, I felt more comfortable thinking about raising a daughter and relating to issues girls and women face in our society. But in the end, I didn't much care what sex they were. I just wanted two so they could have each other.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sexism and Thomas the Tank Engine
"Did you tell your friend that we would be here?" his wife asked.
"No, why would he come? He just has daughters," the husband replied.
It must be a sentiment shared by many CT parents, as girls were few and far between at the Day out with Thomas. Lots of moms, more dads than you see at almost any event, boys galore. And just Sis and a few others. But I'd wager that Sis had as much fun as Bud. They both loved the amusement park rides--boats, firetrucks, and carousel. Sis especially liked getting a temporary Rosie tattoo and meeting Sir Topham Hatt. Bud didn't like that at all, much preferring to play with the toy trains on the track layouts. And riding Thomas the Tank Engine? That was best of all. Sis and Bud sat taking it all in, concentrating, mesmerized by the rumble of the engine, the sight of white steam spreading across the meadow, the smell of burning coal, the smooth leather seats that reversed to allow family groupings, even the luggage rack overhead where we happily placed all of our jackets. But it wasn't until we received our Jr Engineer certificates and left the train that they cracked huge smiles. Hers just as big as his.
I must admit to a little of my own sexism yesterday. And it has to do with my perceptions of the differences of male and female parenting. For two years running at Day out with Thomas, plus other situations like birthday parties when dads are present too, I have noticed that dads seem to be a lot less likely to step in and enforce a civil, social code of behavior with their children (specifically their sons). How many times yesterday did I see dads step back while their sons got into shoving matches and tug-o'wars for train engines? But as soon as moms showed up, the moms would pull the boys apart, often insisting that they share or, if not, have to leave the play area. Of course, being an enforcer of social behavior, I'm always a little surprised at some dads' complete lack of attention to such things. Not just surprised, annoyed. Frustrated. Righteous, even. This is, of course, a complete and stereotypical generalization, because I know lackadasical moms and disciplined dads. And I'm both at times, different times. But as a keen observer of fatherhood from a distance, I often wonder exactly how the parenting differs. And this is what I've noticed--there is just a lot less of "what do we say?" or "you need to share" or "your turn is over now so let's give that toy to the other little boy" and a lot more turning a blind eye to toy snatching and shoving. I've got some incomplete, sociologically and psychologically weak, even sexist theories as to why.
You with dads in the family, or dads yoursevles, can you help me out? What's going on? Or am I way off base?
"No, why would he come? He just has daughters," the husband replied.
It must be a sentiment shared by many CT parents, as girls were few and far between at the Day out with Thomas. Lots of moms, more dads than you see at almost any event, boys galore. And just Sis and a few others. But I'd wager that Sis had as much fun as Bud. They both loved the amusement park rides--boats, firetrucks, and carousel. Sis especially liked getting a temporary Rosie tattoo and meeting Sir Topham Hatt. Bud didn't like that at all, much preferring to play with the toy trains on the track layouts. And riding Thomas the Tank Engine? That was best of all. Sis and Bud sat taking it all in, concentrating, mesmerized by the rumble of the engine, the sight of white steam spreading across the meadow, the smell of burning coal, the smooth leather seats that reversed to allow family groupings, even the luggage rack overhead where we happily placed all of our jackets. But it wasn't until we received our Jr Engineer certificates and left the train that they cracked huge smiles. Hers just as big as his.
I must admit to a little of my own sexism yesterday. And it has to do with my perceptions of the differences of male and female parenting. For two years running at Day out with Thomas, plus other situations like birthday parties when dads are present too, I have noticed that dads seem to be a lot less likely to step in and enforce a civil, social code of behavior with their children (specifically their sons). How many times yesterday did I see dads step back while their sons got into shoving matches and tug-o'wars for train engines? But as soon as moms showed up, the moms would pull the boys apart, often insisting that they share or, if not, have to leave the play area. Of course, being an enforcer of social behavior, I'm always a little surprised at some dads' complete lack of attention to such things. Not just surprised, annoyed. Frustrated. Righteous, even. This is, of course, a complete and stereotypical generalization, because I know lackadasical moms and disciplined dads. And I'm both at times, different times. But as a keen observer of fatherhood from a distance, I often wonder exactly how the parenting differs. And this is what I've noticed--there is just a lot less of "what do we say?" or "you need to share" or "your turn is over now so let's give that toy to the other little boy" and a lot more turning a blind eye to toy snatching and shoving. I've got some incomplete, sociologically and psychologically weak, even sexist theories as to why.
You with dads in the family, or dads yoursevles, can you help me out? What's going on? Or am I way off base?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)