Our Time in Texas

We sure know how to pack a lot into a short visit, even with both parents sick with the epizootus (I was already on antibiotics, but I think we picked up a virus at the airport because Mama and I are sick all over again--I didn't have a voice for most of the trip.)

Here's a non-sequential list of what we did:

• boat rides:  I love a boat ride.  Always have, probably always will.  Wind in my hair, kinda bumpy--it's a great time for reflection or day dreaming.  Sis said it's like cantering on a horse; she likes boat rides, too.  She even drove some.  On our second ride, Sis saw churning water and we then saw a dolphin!  Must have been chasing up some fish.  It stayed around us for awhile, curious, surfacing so close to the boat once that it's blow hole squirt splashed my cheek.  Beautiful creature.  I couldn't get a good picture, though--it surfaced very quickly and in unpredictable places.  My back handled these boat rides much better than four years ago.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• driving the golf cart:  Sis and Bud had their first non-MarioKart driving lessons!  And no one was injured.
• fishing:  Bud and Pop went fishing early one morning in the harbor, before anyone else was awake.  They caught some catfish.  On another morning, the whole crew went fishing in the harbor and each kid caught a catfish, with Bud catching the biggest one.
  
  
  
  
• tubing:  Sis was definitely in her element.  She loves going fast and thus loved being pulled behind a motorboat on a huge tube, especially when she flew off into the bay!  Yes, she had on a life vest.  She said the best part was bouncing two feet off the surface of the water.
• sailing:  Sis also went sailing with Gommie in the little Sunfish.  She liked it much better than her sailing lessons at Mystic because it wasn't as windy and rough.  
  
• swimming:  the kiddos took to the warm, muddy water right away, even though both were stung by little jellies.  They especially liked jumping off the pier into the water.  I went into the water myself, never my favorite activity at the bay (I'm irrationally scared of Jaws, though there aren't any threatening sharks there, and I don't like jelly fish), and floated around with the kiddos.  Even with sunscreen,  I got burned a little.
  
• family:  I think Gommie and the kids counted and they met 60 new people, more than half who were relatives--Gommie's siblings, her cousins, my cousins, my second cousins, my second cousins' kids . . . . It's a bit overwhelming, but the kids managed.  Though, Gommie did help by drawing out the family tree. Bud even shook everyone's hand!  Of course, our goal in going to the bay, besides their experiencing Gommie's very favorite place, was spending time with Aunt Banana and kiddos.  It was a bit strange at first for Sis and Bud because they aren't around little kids much at all.  Sis took to them well enough and even Bud did chalk art with Cousin M.  I don't know how much chance they got to talk to their aunt and uncle; it was pretty chaotic and busy the whole weekend.  I'm not sure I got to really visit with them!  I did do some art and juggling with Cousin M and played "slide the baby off the roof" of the dollhouse with Cousin B.  And I had some nice chats with my Aunt T, Aunt A, and Aunt J.  It was good to be together.  
• fireworks:  My cousins put on a lovely fireworks show off their pier one night.  Bud and I walked down to see it close up.  I really liked the ones that explode into a giant array and then the "spray" explodes into smaller arrays.  There were also some very striking red and white fireworks.  And you could see other displays all around the bay.  Unfortunately, some of those fireworks, on another night, caught the back fields on fire.  I was already back at the hotel with Mama, but Pop, who'd driven me to the hotel, couldn't get back to the bay house because the road was closed.   Everyone was safe--there were a dozen water tanker trucks between them and the blaze, which the fire departments amazingly put out very quickly, not before it burned a few acres.  But it could've reached the boat houses and all those boats with 100-gallon gas tanks.  The kids called me in the middle and weren't scared, just wanted reassurance.  I knew they were safe with Gommie and Aunt Banana.  Still, scary and impressive.
• Mikeska's:  Nothing like eating ribs and chopped beef sandwiches surrounded by taxidermied dead animals!  But I love their banana pudding and sweet tea.
  
• Prasek's:  KOLACHES!  Fruit, sweet cheese, or sausage-filled pastries.  Best kolaches in the world.  And really good Tex Mex chocolate sheet cake, too.  The Prasek family's bay house is right next to ours and we had told one of the grandchildren how much we loved their kolaches.  Lo, and behold! Mr Mike had someone deliver 3+ dozen more kolaches to us!!!  Love that Texas hospitality.
• Buc-ee's:  Oh, you know how I love Buc-ee's.  It's like the Texas version of the Vermont Country Store--food, souvenirs, homey, except Buc-ee's isn't quite as upscale.  But they have iced tea!  And I met a new food--the Frito Burrito!  Yep, that's right--a tortilla filled with chili, cheese, onions, refried beans, and FRITOS!!!!!!  We like their plain bean-and-cheeses and also breakfast burritos, too.  And I got a bluebonnet pillow.  I knew I wanted my Texas souvenir to have bluebonnets on it and I found the perfect throw pillow at Buc-ee's.
• Whataburger:  Not "waterburgers," even if we pronounce it like that.  Mama spent two days asleep at the hotel where we were staying as "overflow" (Gommie and Pop's house isn't big enough to comfortably fit three families.)  I took her Whataburger a few times, once with the kids.  I love the chicken bites and creamy gravy with Texas toast (which is just thick white bread.)  And of course, iced tea!  Sis liked them, too.  Just seeing the orange-and-white stripes makes me smile (I remember the steak fingers of my childhood, but they don't have those anymore.  Or was that Dairy Queen?)
• Food:  In addition to all of the food at restaurants, we also ate back at the bay house.  Mama and Aunt Banana had coordinated meals so we each took different nights.  We made Cowboy Supper but added cubed chicken breasts to the usual sausage; she made these great pulled pork tacos.  She also had this yummy Greek pasta salad.  Gommie brought French Dip sandwiches for the first night.
• Palacios:  I had wanted to visit the town where my great-grandmother had lived and so Gommie, Mama, our twins, Aunt Banana, and Cousin M and I drove over one afternoon.  We had a good lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant (noodles with grilled chicken and egg rolls, shrimp and veg with noodles, somethink like a bird's nest with fried noodles, spring rolls, Vietnamese iced coffee (like Thai iced coffee, with sweetened condensed milk), and this great banana pudding.   Then we drove around to all the sights:  grandmother's house where Aunt Banana and I would spend the weekend (separately) across from the hospital, her real estate office which is still a real estate office, the restaurant Pederson's where we always went for Sunday brunch but which is now a bookstore (still has the bar and mural, though), the Texas Baptist Encampment, the shrimp boats, the piers where there used to be a pavilion for dancing, abandonned Camp Hulen which held 10,000 WWII soldiers in pup tents and where my great-grandmother was a typist and met my great-grandfather, and the old Luther Hotel, with the same screen door I remember passing through four decades ago.  It's a grande ol' dame of a hotel but has seen better days.  We saw a little white kitten there with one blue and one green eye (so probably deaf), covered in fleas but cute.  Pop almost got a new cat!  Aunt Sis and I remembered the vanilla wafers Grandma Mildred kept in the refrigerator, with their delicate and crispy brown edges, the burger place we often ate, and the shops she would take us to.  
  
  
  
  
• pina coladas:  this is one of the popular drinks down at the bay and both kids learned how to make them!  Sis was sure to make a "virgin" pitcher for herself.  Directions, as far as they recall:  1 cup Coco Lopez, 1 cup pineapple juice, blend it with 2 cups of ice and 3 oz of rum (they don't remember.)  When I was a child, I would make bourbon and cokes for my uncle.
• games, including Mexican train and "hand and foot" canasta:  The bay is full of game players and both kiddos got to play.  They learned a domino game called Mexican train and a card game called "hand and foot."  And both of them won.  I was really pleased to hear that they were good winners, shaking hands and thanking others for a good game.  I was even more pleased that I didn't have to play!
• walking on the pier at night:  We went out our last night there, just for the experience of it.  I always feel like I'm walking above clouds on the pier at night.  
• bird sightings:  This part of Texas is a birdwatcher's paradise.  I wasn't trying too hard but did notice many species I don't often see in CT, including the brown pelican, laughing gull, cattle egret, some kind of heron, snowy egret, mockingbird, Mexican eagle/caracara, gray hawk, white-winged dove, purple martins, and even baby buzzards.  I spotted my first caracara squaring off with a buzzard over some road kill.  They flew away as I drove off and the buzzard got back first.  As for the pelicans, I'm still amazed to see them everywhere; they weren't many of them at the bay when I was a child.  Now, they fly the coast every morning and evening; it's awe-inspiring.  And they really do look like dinosaurs.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• hammock time:  Mama liked the hammock under the porch, as does Pop.
  
  
  
• chalk art:  Cousin M and Bud did a great big chalk mural under the house on the concrete.
  
• water balloon fight:  The cousins also had fun doing a water balloon fight.
• birthday parties:  There was a big train birthday party for my 3-year-old nephew (I added the train tracks to the cake!)--it was funny to see him smear cake on his face!--and a pinata for our 12-year-olds.  It took awhile to smash the pinata so by the end they were not even using a blindfold; several of the cousins helped out.
• the land:  I forget how flat it is in our part of Texas.  So flat, with views so far in the distance.  We passed huge cotton fields, corn, maize, but not as much rice as when I was a child.  There are old abandonned farm houses in some places, lots of cows, some windmills, lots of barbed wire fencing, silos in the distance, small towns of 200 people with all the businesses on main street closed, and Sis counted at least 277 horses!  It's not bluebonnet or Indian paintbrush season, but I did enjoy seeing some flowers.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• mosquitos, high humidity, and Trump supporters:  Let's just say the bay would be a nicer place without any of these (let me revise that last one:  it was hard to believe that all my extended family (not my immediate family, i.e. parents, sister, BIL), who love us, also voted for HIM.  I'll keep the family, just dump #45.)

The only thing I didn't get to do while at the bay was honor the memory of my aunt and uncle and cousin in any way.  This was my first trip back since they'd all died and I had hoped to get a chance for some kind of quiet observance.  But I never quite figured out what that would be and there didn't seem to be a good time, with Mama and I both not feeling well.  Next time, perhaps.

Whew.  I'm tired just writing about it.  Good thing it's summer and there's not much I have to do right now.  Except laundry!

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Giada De Laurentiis's Pulled Pork Tacos

                        2 teaspoons ground cumin

                        1/2 teaspoon ground coriander 

                        2 teaspoons salt 

                        1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 

                        2 pounds pork shoulder roast 

                        2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 

                        1 onion, chopped 

                        3 cloves garlic, smashed 

                        1 chipotle in adobo plus 1 teaspoon adobo sauce

                        1/2 cup beer

                        1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest (1/2 orange) 

Garnishes:  lime wedges, cheese, avocado, etc.

For the pulled pork: In a small bowl, mix together the cumin, coriander, salt and oregano. Rub the spice mixture all over the pork roast.

Heat the olive oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add the pork roast and brown on all sides, about 3 minutes per side.

Meanwhile, in a 3 1/2-quart slow cooker, combine the onion, garlic, chipotle and adobo sauce, beer, and orange zest. Add the browned roast along with any pan juices. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours or on high for 6 hours.

When the pork is cooked and fork tender, shred it using two forks. Add the shredded meat back to the slow cooker and toss with the onions and cooking juices. Keep warm in the slow cooker for people to help themselves and assemble the tacos with all the garnishes.

Aunt Banana's Greek Pasta Salad

bow tie pasta

cooked chicken, cubed

kalamata olives

cucumber 

tomato (optional)

bell peppers? (I can't recall)
**I saw a recipe on myrecipes.com that includes 3 cups baby spinach

red onion

feta cheese

Greek salad dressing

Cook pasta al dente then toss with vegetables and chicken and coat with Greek salad dressing.

Aunt Banana

Milk-Can "Cowboy" Supper, Bay Version
adapted from Cook's Country

2 lbs. kielbasa, cut into big chunks about 1 1/2-2" long 

4 chicken breasts, cubed12 red potatoes, washed but unpeeled
1 small cabbage, cut into wedges and unstacked
1 1/2 cups baby carrots (oops, forgot to put this in)

1 red pepper, chunks

1 onion, cut into wedges
4 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
7 ears of corn, halved
4 cups chicken broth

1/2 can beer

salt and pepper to taste

Brown the kielbasa and chicken until browned all over (about 6-8 minutes on medium high.)  Remove from pot. Layer ingredients in pot in this order, bottom to top:  red potatoes, cabbage wedges (unstacked and all spread out flat), baby carrots, onion, garlic, and corn.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper; add bay leaves and thyme.  Distribute kielbasa on top and pour in chicken broth.  Bring to boil, cover, and simmer approximately 15-20 minutes.  Add green bell pepper on top and cook 15-20 minutes more until potatoes are tender (use long skewer to test doneness.)  Remove to serving platter.  Enjoy!

Summer Fun: Birthday Weekend

You know we like to do birthdays up big around here.  This year's was no exception.

Friday:  Celebrations started very early, with kiddos piling into our room at 6 a.m. to open presents.  We had said it was okay because we had to squeeze it in before Sis headed off to camp.  And so they were thrilled with all their Minecraft, Lego, arts and crafts, and Doctor Who presents.  They also got early calls from both sets of grandparents.

Eyeing a friend's watch for 8:12, on the bus, Sis told her friends she just turned nine.  At home, Bud had me watching the clock so I could wish him a happy birthday right at 8:13.

While Sis was at camp winning a first-place ribbon in horseback riding, Bud had a day full of doing whatever he wanted, which mainly included building his new Minecraft Legos, playing Minecraft on the computer, watching "Phineas and Ferb", staying in his pajamas, and eating in the living room in front of tv.  I offered him lunch out, but he preferred to stay home for leftovers so he didn't have to get dressed.  He spoke to both Lambeth, who kindly called from England with Mrs. Lambeth, and to Aunt Banana, who is home with ten-day old Cousin Banana (still working on the nickname).

Mama brought home Carvel Fudgy the Whale cake and special apple pie as their birthday treats, as per request, which we ate hurriedly between Sis getting home from camp and Bud heading out to kung fu (lucky boy also got a little sushi as a post-kung fu snack!)  It was just that kind of busy birthday.  They squeezed in a little more playtime before a late bedime.

Saturday:  Our usual Saturday activities were in full swing--ice skating, an extra historic house family workshop, and even haircuts, plus a special graduation party for the young man up the street.  In between, we got pizza from the new brick oven place in town--really very good--and a movie, Jurassic Park.  We stayed out until almost 10 p.m. at the graduation party, having started at 4!  Sis especially liked swimming in the pool, while Bud enjoyed ping pong.  And of course, all of the older kids hanging around.  I talked with a lot of our neighbors.  It was delightful--beautiful weather and no mosquitoes (only a few pesky June bugs!)

Sunday:  Today we celebrated birthday with Ma and Gong, who drove up for the day.  They took the kids to lunch at their favorite Chinese place and then went on a shopping spree--at the bookstore!  Afterwards, we watched the World Cup final and, while I was rooting for Messi and Argentina, we weren't too disappointed by the final score (besides, it was such a boring game second half that we had lost some interest.)  It was fun to watch with Gong, who having grown up in Thailand has played a lot of soccer and knows all the rules, strategies, etc.  He was even the goalie!  (Interesting man, Gong--he's played soccer, been in the army, served as a monk, and became an accountant!)  Ma and Gong then headed back to the city while we settled in to watch the rest of Jurassic Park, or as Bud called it, Cretaceous Park.

We're heading to bed now, the end of a great weekend.  Happy birthday, kiddos!

Summer Fun: Another Birthday

We have been talking about celebrating Mama's birthday for months now, starting with our trip to England, but when it came right down to it, yesterday was very low-key.  The kids didn't even want to make her real cards--they designed exploding "happy birthday" messages on Minecraft (the computer game, for the uninitiated)!  Truthfully, I think Mama preferred that.  We even postponed making her birthday dessert--her favorite butterscotch pudding from Bloodroot--because the kids wanted to make it with her.

And we ditched our plans for a fancy dinner at a Malaysian place not too nearby in favor of a local Italian place we'd never tried but heard so much about.  And it was amazing!  We had two appetizers--a crispy crepe with spinach-mushroom filling and a butternut squash-pine nut ravioli, both with amazing sauces.  Then Mama had wild boar in a creamy tomato sauce with cavitelli pasta and I had a mushroom ravioli with truffle sauce.  YUM!  We didn't get dessert, though, because the chairs were the most uncomfortable things ever and all my wiggling upset my SI/tailbone to the point that it went into spasm.  I can't quite sit right now.  But I can walk and it only hurts when I sit, so I count it as a minor flare up, not a major injury.  Still, I'll be relegating the driving for awhile.  Only a week into summer but all the driving to camp and back etc was too much.

So we came home, had the babysitter handle bedtime anyway, and watched some World Cup games we had taped.  A remarkable wonderful birthday?  No.  But it's not quite over yet--we're still going to make that pudding!!

Summer Fun: Birthday Bash

We've had birthday parties (by year):

1.  in the backyard with everyone we knew to thank them for helping us;
2. again in the backyard, this time with bubbles (described in retrospect in third paragraph);
3. at the nature center with animal time, craft time, and playground time;
4. at the zoo, with animals and a craft;
5. at the Aquarium, with a tour and a craft;
6. at the church hall, for Legopalooza;
7. at the invention museum, with a hands-on woodworking project;
8. at the dance hall, for a pop music dance party;
9. and now, at the ice skating rink.

Which means I'm pretty experienced with the "away" party.  I thought I had already written a post about hosting a take-away party, or whatever they're called (I remember there was a name for them), but I never posted it, can't find it, or didn't actually write it.

Still, a few suggestions:

• have a pad of paper to record names and phone numbers of parents who are not staying on site;
• don't forget matches and candles, very few places have them available;
• also remember bowls you might need to serve snacks;
• bring a Sharpie to label the kids' drinking cups;
• I always try to have enough food for seconds and for parents who stay (today, we barely had enough cupcakes for the kids);
• cupcakes travel and serve more easily than sheet cake;
• bring 1-2 garbage bags to carry the presents away;
• money for a tip for the assistant (I aim for 15-20% of the fee);

Today's birthday party at the skating rink was great.  The kids woke up this morning so excited and grew more so when Goo arrived.  They had their skating lesson first--it was Bud's first official lesson--and then helped us set up for the party.  The set-up was pretty minimal--bowls of potato chips, lemonade and water, ice, cups, napkins--and then they began welcoming friends, both from school and from kung fu.  

Most of the kids could skate and Sis helped those who couldn't (with more experience than Bud, she's the better helper.)  We had talked to them about how to be a host/hostess--welcome everyone and explain any details, talk to everyone, buddy up with those who are alone, help serve food and drink, thank them when you say goodbye.  They did a great job and the two groups of kids, strangers to each other, got along well.  

They skated almost 2 hours, with barely a break for pizza; after skating, we sang "Happy Birthday" and ate cupcakes--those wonderful "TARDIS in the Time Vortex" cupcakes that only a couple of people understood.  As the Zamboni cleaned up after public skate, we said goodbye to everyone and cleaned up.

And now, after opening all the wonderful presents from generous friends at home, the kids are off to the movies with Mama and Goo, after a big sushi dinner.  I'm home alone, resting and rejoicing . . . and writing it all here.

Summer Fun: First Full Day

Friday was our first full day of summer, if you count summer essentially as no school.  Bud woke up at his usual 6:30 a.m. weekend time, while Sis purposefully slept til 9 a.m.  I was in between.

Before Sis awoke, Bud practiced his "Penguin of the Opera," an idea we had the night before to have him stage the musical with our collection of stuffed animals.  And he did an amazing job.  Below, you'll see Amy the bunny as Christine and Tango as The Penguin, in the "Angel of Music" scene, first in the mirror and then in the boat on the lake, and then the "All I Ask of You" scene on the roof of the Paris Opera.  Besides taking these stills, Bud has been practicing some of the score on the piano.  We then spent midday watching the 25th Anniversary Phantom at the Royal Albert Hall.  It's a good thing we've purchased tickets to the Broadway production later this year!

I love how Bud took the picture so you only see The Penguin in the mirror, just like in the stage show.

The boat is an upside-down cat scratching apparatus; Bud ingenuously flipped it over.

[No Name] appears as Raoul

When Sis woke up, we headed outside to play, it being a beautiful (cool for June) day.  I even did some weed-eating while they planted some seed packets they received from church as part of Stepping Up.    We also had the first of our many summer picnics, this one from the deli, sitting under the Japanese maple out front.

We ran errands midday--deposit at the bank (with lollipops!), party foods from the big store (and two new books--one Lego, the other a crafting felt project), and then we headed to the Y to join as a family in order to swim!  Surprisingly, Bud didn't want to swim, but Sis did, in the deep end even, for about an hour.  We stopped for ice cream on the way home.

Evening was spent eating the lobster that Ma, Gong, and Goo got us in Maine, as well as prepping for their birthday party.  The theme was Doctor Who, minimally, since it was mainly an ice skating party.  But we did make inspired "TARDIS in the Time Vortex" cupcakes, complete with blue-gold-white swirl and tilted TARDIS on a toothpick!  Sis helped frost while Bud and Mama made the decorations.  I think they came out rather well:

The inspiration

Our creation

I had promised them a water fight and so, stripping off my good shoes, I snuck up on them while they were swinging and doused them with the hose.  They got me back, pretty well, since we have two hoses and they're faster.

And then it was pretty much bedtime.

A really good start to our summer fun, considering we can check off two or three things off our list!

(And look, no mention of computers!!)

Birthday Month

After almost a month of celebrating, the kids have finally finished their birthdays!  I might actually be relieved.  While my paternal relatives always applaud the stretching out of celebrations, it was almost out of control (in a good way.)  But, I'm not sure I can do what Shelley of Little Chickadees does, and stop the big celebrations when they turn 10, having only individual sleepovers or something with one friend.  Which tells me something about myself . . . .

It started way back before school was out, with a disco dance party with a luau theme and even a Tiki pole.  "Nikki Minaj" and "Psy" danced their hearts out with their friends to all their favorite Taylor Swift and Pink and Katy Perry songs and played various games such as Coke and Pepsi, balloon race, limbo, and this 1-2-3-4 cluster game.  They ate pizza and homemade chocolate-frosted vanilla cupcakes, with crushed vanilla wafers for sand under mini-umbrella decorations, and danced some more.  Once home, they opened lots of presents (no one up here seems to open presents at parties--I've never seen it done.)  Since then, we've written half the thank-you notes and I have since lost the list and the notecards!

Then one Saturday, Mama and the kids headed to NYC to celebrate all the summer birthdays, of which there are four, with Ma and Gong and Goo.  They had dim sum, ice cream from the truck, and special Japanese pastries, I believe.

We gave them each an early birthday present.  Bud got the first three episodes of Star Wars, which we promptly watched.  His favorite is #2; he really disliked Order 66 in #3.  Sis enjoyed them, too, and they've both been playing Jedi non-stop since.  Sis received two more American Girl dolls--the original Felicity and Elizabeth--which a teenager daughter of a colleague of Mama's was letting go of.  Sis has now named that Felicity "Martha" instead, because she had named her Make Your Own doll "Felicity" first.  Confused?  No worries.  We gave her the dolls early (and therefore Bud the DVDs) because Gommie was taking Sis to the American Girl doll store in Houston for a birthday treat and we knew she'd want to get their ears pierced. So we hauled all the dolls to Texas and she and Gommie had fun playing with them.

Then, as I mentioned in my Texas post, Gommie threw an impromptu party for them and invited all the aunts, uncles, and cousins for cake and ice cream  (why is it that no one up here every pairs cake with ice cream at parties?  It's the best!)  If I count correctly, there were 17 adults and 12 youngsters, almost all relatives (the kids were no longer overwhelmed by this, even if Mama will always be.)  There were cards, homemade ice cream (along with lots of Blue Bell), confetti poppers, kites, and water balloons, so of course they had a water balloon fight.

Later that afternoon, Great Aunt Sis and Uncle W had presents for the kids when we visited them--wonderful books, as always--as well as cheesecake and ice cream, fruit and cheese.  We also gave Aunt Sis, another summer birthday, a Tudor Rose suncatcher from the Pre-Raphaelite exhibition to put in her window since she spends so much time in bed.

On their real birthday earlier this week, Mama and I played "birthday fairy" and decorated the house with streamers and Star Wars birthday banners and left the last couple of wrapped presents on the couch with a clear warning "not to open without Moms!"  We could hear them crowing about it all at 6:40 the next morning!  More Legos and the complete Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? dvd set. And tickets for all of us to see The Lion King on Broadway (their first real Broadway show!) later this summer!  (I think this excites us more than them, even having seen it twice already ourselves.  But they'll love it and we've long dreamed of taking them.)  Needless to say, the Legos were done and the first disc of Carmen Sandiego watched before the day was out.  We made Rice Krispie treats as part of the fun.  Later, we went up to a little pool birthday party for them at babysitter M and Miss K's house in the afternoon, which was kind of them.  Dinner was Italian.

And finally, last night, original Beloved Babysitter M came over, having returned from a week in London and Paris (about which I was very interested and the kids not so much!)  She generously brought presents, the best being walkie-talkies which they've used non-stop since then, especially for playing a modified chase game outside.  And Babysitter--about whom it is as hard to believe she is 21 as they are 8!  She's been with us for almost 8 years!--then played their all-time favorite games of "Escape Zoo" and "Tickle Monster," just like they did years ago.  So, even if they are 8, it's great to see that some things just don't change and they still are, while much closer to 10 than 5 in attitude and activities, pretty much kids.

Happy Birthday, Sis and Bud!

A Very Unbirthday

The birthday invitation said, "girls only."  Even though the birthday girl was close friends with Bud.  How to explain then that his sister was invited to the birthday party but not him?  So we offered sushi as compensation, but he was still disappointed.  As apparently the birthday girl told him (I'll add "gloatingly!") he would be.  And when I RSVP'd for Sis, I told her mom as much.  A week later, though, the girl changed her mind and invited Bud.  And they all had a marvelous time at the party.

But this boy-girl thing is becoming more and more of an issue.  We knew that two lesbians raising a son would have it's challenges and we've tried to allay some of the difficulties.  As such, we're particularly sensitive to gender issues  We've always encouraged the kids to choose their own friends not based on gender but on similarity of interests; we've always let them choose their own toys, be it pink tutus (Bud) or Star Wars action figures (Sis).  But their friends are becoming increasingly gender-stratified, as is their world.  Gymnastics classes are separated by gender.  Scouts are girl or boy.  And birthday parties.  And sleepovers.  Bud, like Sis, would like to have a sleepover with his friends.  But his friends are all girls.  And I know that it will never happen.  Out of habit, I understand; boys and girls don't sleepover.  But why?  Surely it's rather innocent at 7 or 8?

It got me thinking.  Where does this enforced gender separation come from?  Do girls and boys themselves want the separation?  Sometimes, I think they absolutely do.  And developmentally and educationally, there are reasons behind gender segregation, I'm sure (as a feminist, I absolutely recognize the importance of female-only spaces, and by extension male.  But don't get me started on our school's new "Father's Club" meant as a counterbalance to the PTA, which is not in essence women only, so why the need for dads to be different?  I think it speaks to the comfort--or dis--of the genders communicating and working together.).   But I'm speaking beyond simple classes and playdates, about the instillation of the belief, through the ways we treat them (as opposed to the words we intone), that boys and girls have little commonality.

But are parents somehow culpable, too?  We tell boys and girls for years that they are different--pink and blue, tutus and action figures, ballet and football.  They must internalize this difference and really believe that they are somehow fundamentally different from the other gender.  Even when we pay lip service to girls can do what boys do--but why would they believe us?    And then, from second grade until junior high, we segregate them in after school activities and playdates, until with hormones raging, they seek each other again, with their heads filled with years of myths, assumptions, stereotypes, but little practical experience, etc of the "Other."  No wonder there is so much teenage agita over relationships and sex.  Or even adult discomfort--men from Mars, women from Venus; men like football, women like lipstick; men are silent, women talk incessantly; men have Fathers' Club and women have the PTA.

Surely we are all mature enough to recognize these essentialisms as inherently false?  How do these stereotypes really serve us?  And doesn't the separation of boys and girls do more harm than good?

It's a bit of a leap, but Nicholas Kristoff notes, in Half the Sky, that in countries where the genders are most segregated, namely Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, etc, there are the least rights for women and most violence, even terrorism, from men.  It makes me look at even our relatively innocuous gender segregation differently.

And my kids will be inviting their friends--not just a gender--to their birthday party.

"And I Helped!"

The kids decorated their own cakes this year (one with more help than the other; both started by drawing with toothpicks and then using my Wilton cake decorating arsenal--note the fancy "grass" tip--and pre-tubed icings.  And, of course, bakery cakes purchased frosted but undecorated).

Can you guess which is whose?!

Birthday Bashes

The kids are officially 5 and, mercy, did we celebrate! No sentimental treatise on growing up here, nor that letter I said I'd write them (I'm thinking of doing that for the first day of kindergarten), just a recounting of the glorious fun (and minor setbacks) we had in honor of the occasion.

The Birthday Party, or Seals, Sharks, and Birthday Cake!

Yep, we had their birthday party at the aquarium, because they love the animals there, we like destination parties, and it was perfect for a hot July Saturday threatening rain (plus, we like supporting non-profit educational institutions in the process--one of these years, we're gonna haul kids down to AMNH!). However, I don't know how many more big parties like this we'll have; I figure they'll eventually want to have their own, which would necessitate a smaller party. Though, when the question was put to them about separate parties, they stared at me blankly and asked, "Why?" Why, indeed, when one big party can be such fun.

It was the aquarium party leader who made the day. His easy, relaxed, interesting style really engaged the kiddos and put us, the hosts, at ease. Before anyone arrived, he pulled out a big box of decorations and we let the kids go nuts hanging whatever they wanted on the walls--brightly-colored fish, luau lantern strings, the requisite Happy Birthday banner, all sorts of other little things. As the party guests arrived, we let them help decorate, too. I mean, what's better than taping things to the walls? They also colored nametags as everyone arrived.

Then we paired or tripled up as "dive buddies," the idea of which comes from scuba diving (complete with the hand signal he used to gather the children at each stop--he's been doing this for 20-some odd years, so he's a birthday party pro). They loved this. And Sis and Bud had a special dive buddy: Goo. Yep, Goo had come in late the night before so that he could come to the birthday party (and, as an extra bonus, he got to go to kung fu with us before the party!). With Goo in tow, I'm not sure the kiddos even noticed Mama and I lolling behind, which was fine, made it special. We pretty much saw everything--seals, penguins, rays, frogs, sharks, jellyfish--with a group photo in front of the giant blow-up penguin and a break for pizza in between forays in the exhibitions. We even got to go behind the scenes to the touch tank, learning about how old horsehoe crabs, decorator crabs, and the like are--like 100 million years older than dinosaurs! All of the kids asked and answered questions, leading the party leader to tell us afterwards that they were the smartest, best behaved group of 5 year olds he had ever had. We do have a pretty neat bunch of friends. We wrapped everything up with cake (see later post, "A Cake to Remember," with the tale of the two cakes) and favor boxes. Whew. Two-and-almost-a-half-hours of birthday fun.

But we weren't done with the aquarium yet. Most of our friends headed home, but we headed to the meerkat exhibition with some of them. The kiddos loved watching the funny little animals, which kinda struck me as African prairie dogs in the way they ran around digging and kept looking up for danger. The best part, just like at the zoo's prairie dog exhibition, is the pop-up dome that allows kids to ascend into the exhibition and be closer to the meerkats. Sis and Bud could do that for a long time. And we did, finally heading home around 2 pm, after a stop in the shop to buy twin turtles as a gift to Goo for coming to the party (though, he got his own favor box too! 'Cos every 26 year old needs sillybandz! And a plastic narwhal!). And Sis told me on the way over that she was going to buy me something, for being her mommy, and she did: a stuffed mommy meerkat holding a baby. Very sweet.

Despite pizza and cake, we headed to Babysitter's restaurant for a late lunch/early dinner because for the first time she had not been able to make it to the party. The kids merrily ate chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese, surrounded by some of their favorite people (because Babysitter got to sit with us when her shift was over).

And that wasn't it, either, because we had two huge garbage bags of presents in the car! I don't know if it's geography or chronology but no one seems to open presents at parties up here--are the kids too young? is it a Yankee thing? As far back as my memory of my birthday parties goes, we opened presents. And I can see the advantages--first, the birthday kids connect the present to the giver and can thank them on the spot (instead of sending a note later) and the gift-giver, likewise, sees that their gift was appreciated. But, sure, this goes beyond most 5 year olds--they are brutally honest about what they get and how they feel about it and it is really hard for the other kids to sit quietly and watch all the fun without participating. Though, maybe practicing both of those things in part of the ritual? Surely, kids need to learn how to graciously receive and give? Maybe its an outgrowth of the destination party, with very little time for unwrapping presents (we would have had no time on Saturday). I'm not quite ready to buck the local custom (okay, my readers with small kids in TX--what do you do?) and will wait to see how it all evolves.

Which is a long way around saying that the kids tore through all the presents so fast that we almost didn't get a complete list for the thank-you notes we'll make later this week. But I know that's half the fun, right? The other half is, of course, playing with all those new presents: arts and crafts sets, Legos, building sets, books, games, lots of fun new things. In fact, they spent the afternoon doing all the pages in the How to Train Your Dragon art set together and then Bud built his first Lego set (knights, of course) with Goo while Sis traced Toy Story figures on her light-up desk.

There was some fruit and leftover cake for dinner followed by a very late bedtime (after which Goo tried to head home and was caught up in the great Metro North power failure, arriving home later than it should've been). But, hey, you only turn 5 once, right?

The Family Party

Except these kids managed to turn 5 all weekend! Sunday morning they were up extremely early, but instead of holding them to a 7 am wake-up time, we let them open all their presents at 6 am! And it looked like Christmas--we'd piled the presents from us, grandparents, aunts and uncles downstairs so they would have space to unwrap and set up and they tore threw them faster than they had the day before (since we didn't keep to a slower paced one-gift-at-a-time). At least we didn't have to quite keep track for thank you notes (being only 3 main gift givers, it was easy)! There were Buzz Lightyears and Schleich castles, Playmobil fortresses and Pet Shop Clubhouses, jousting knights and dollhouse furniture, games and books. Wow. Thanks, everyone! (I'm still giggling that Bud was surprised that Aunt Banana and Uncle Soccer sent gifts--he thought the new cousin was their present!) Lots of stuff. Excited, merry, spoiled rotten 5 year olds. Who spent the rest of the day playing (and bickering over sharing or not). Mama and I just sat and watched (and refereed and bought new storage to put things in and purged some of the stuff we already had), marveling that it had been 5 years. We talked to everyone--in Texas, in Bangkok (Ma and Gong were up at 3 am watching World Cup and called), in NYC--and again went to bed late.

The Last Hoorah

And today was the last celebration, with Babysitter bringing presents and treats. Sis guessed cake, Bud guessed ice cream. And they were confused to both be right--I don't think they've had an ice-cream cake before. So, it's a great way to end the three-day party.

Only now they're asking when Christmas is!