What Am I Thinking?

I meditated again tonight, making it 3 times in 4 nights, and realized that my stare spot this evening was my bookshelf with all my wonderful, recently-purchased books that I love to read.

So, why did I spend the whole evening on the computer?

Why didn't I read some of my books?

Or do something else I love?

Why is it always the computer?

But, then, is book-reading better than newspaper-on-the-computer reading? Or writing, even if it's on the computer?

Or is that just some traditional cultural hierarchy?

And then, really, why do I have all these books if I don't read them when I can?

Is it the love of ownership? The need for possession? Incredible optimism that I will get to them one day? A hunger for the knowledge they contain?

Some other kind of attachment?

Don't I realize I can never read everything, either in books or on the internet?

And how is it this entire strand of thought came to me in a flash, while I was staring and counting my breath?

And why is it, that to really process that flash of insight, I had to write it in my blog?

Why did the thought come back if I let the it come and go while I was meditating?

I'm turning off the computer now.

Good night.