On Lectures 2 and 3

It's only been about 24 hours or so since I wrote on Lecture 1 of Yasutani-roshi's introductory lectures in The Three Pillars of Zen, so I have not had time adequately to practice repeatedly what he instructs on zazen in that first lecture. I'm reading a lecture a day, which isn't really how they were meant to be read, instead of spacing them with adequate practice in between. As he notes, "Modern students, however, being intellecturally more sophisticated than their predecessors in Zen, will not follow instructions unreservedly; they must first know the reasons behind them" (it is noted elsewhere, too, that modern students aren't as devoted or passionate. Probably in the editor's intro!). Being a typical modern student, I want to see where I'm going as I get there, kind of like have a Zen GPS, so I'm reading ahead without long practice in between. I'm hoping to read once through the lectures, practicing as I go, and then go back and incorporate the counting changes, etc., as I practice.

Lecture 2 is very nuts and bolts: where to sit in what kind of room during what time of day after or before such and such a meal (and of what kind) and for how long. Though, it seems that for each instruction or suggestion, he says to make it work for you and do what needs to be done, always noting that as your practice deepens these details won't matter much.

Lecture 3 focuses on mayko, or hallucinations, that come during the practice of zazen as the still surface of your mind is fuffled by deep thoughts, memories, or experiences. I'm not nearly to this point but it is interesting to read. Mama's transcendental meditation instructor had also told her about old or buried emotions and the like that would well up out of the quiet of her practice. I think it must be like a cleanse or a purge. But I have a ways to go before that happens.

Right now, I'm still counting inhalations and exhalations separately. Within about a week, I'll move to counting exhalations only, though just for a week (I wonder why longer is not "advisable.") Then you count inhalations. Which I tried, just briefly, while reading Lecture 3--it is very different. As he notes, most activities happen on the exhale so to count on the inhale seems off somehow. Just like it feels funny to do my PT exercises on the inhale, which I've never gotten the hang of. But I'm not there yet.

And since I don't want blogging or reading about zazen to take the place of practice, I'm going to go sit (though not in a clear, quiet room as suggested; there isn't one in my house and it's raining outside) in the last few minutes that my babysitter is here.