Tuesday, June 20, 2017

"These are a Few of My Favorite Things" from our Weekend in VT

So much to say, don't want this to be too long.  So, free association:

Heat wave:  It was unseasonably hot the whole time, without much AC anywhere.  In mid- to high-80sF.  I. HATE. Being. HOT.

Vermont Country Store:  Sis loves the today's cut cheese; Bud always goes for the chocolates; I like the summer sausage and crackers; Mama always finds the oddest stuff, like the little glasses cleaning doo-dad that works really well.  Got some purpley Zentangle-like earrings and a new robe.  Love wandering around the store.  Saw the Rogers statue group display, including the one we got for Christmas.

Stowe:  We met Gommie and Pop at a lovely restaurant in Stowe named Harrison's, where thankfully we had reservations.  We caught up on their travels almost to Canada and relayed our last days of school.  Mussels, smoked chicken, root vegetable pot pie, fish and chips, poached pears/walnuts/goat cheese spinach salad, calamari--mercy, we always eat well when we're together!  Afterwards, Gommie and I wandered the local cemetery a bit--mainly because the rest of the whole town--general store, yarn shop, tourist info--was closed already.  Some colonial headstones but mostly 19th century. And lots of mosquitoes whose bites I didn't notice until later (bugs bit me all weekend--I bet I have about 30 bites.)

Sis and the Icelandi Ponies, taken by Mama on her first horseback ride




Trapp Family Lodge:  "The hills are alive . . . "  Yep, those Trapps.  And it's a slice of Austria in VT, a lot like the movie--perfect and clean and wholesome.  Chocolates at turn-down.  Pilsner glasses, schnitzel, wurst, pretzels with mustard (dinner in the Lounge.)  Sacher torte, black forest cake, strudel, almond bear claw (that was breakfast at the Austrian Tea Room.)  Beautiful hotel room with views of the surrounding mountains, in gradations of blue and green.  We heard sheep all night, singing lullabies to Mama. Just like being in the Alps.  Gorgeous flowers--lilac, sage, a wild rose of some kind, so many that I can't name--and so many butterflies (especially black and yellow swallowtails), which we enjoyed from the patio.  We hiked to the stone chapel on the mountain, steep in parts but lovely (and humid!), while Sis and Mama rode Icelandic ponies, with the extra gait called tolting.  Mama had never riden before but did it for Sis.  They had a great time riding through the meadows.  Sis loved the horses and helped out in the stable, fitting right in. They are planning to go back to ride in the snow!!  Bud and Pop saw a snake on our hike, a friendly garter.  After the hike (and some time watching the dog agility contest being hosted on the grounds), we sat on the patio, drinking and juggling with Gommie, Pop, and Bud in the afternoon sun.  The scent of lilacs wafter over us with every breeze.  There was a wedding at the Lodge that evening, complete with about $100K of fireworks, a brilliant display lighting up the whole valley for half an hour.  It was a more elaborate display than our town does for July 4th!   Beautiful view with the explosions lighting up the hillsides.  And because they were being shot from a bit below us (in a field below the lodge), the fireworks seemed very close.

view from our Trapp Lodge suite


love the gradations!

These might actually be Shelburne sheep, but you get the idea.




The Trapp Lodge, with sage


Stone Chapel



Oh, the scent of lilac



Took me a long time to get this photo.


Mt. Mansfield:  The toll road opened the weekend we showed up and we went up 3,600' to the top of Vermont's highest peak.  Sis spotted the ski trails she wanted to come back and try.  Once we got to the top, we took a hike across the ridge to see Lake Champlain and the Adirondacks.  Breathtaking!!  And kinda scary, right on worn rock faces without a really level path.)  Pop, the kids, and Mama even scampered further up.  Amazing.  Sitting on a rock lower down, I loved the view of the spruce "repoussoir trees" framing the Adirondacks in the distance and the Alpine tundra above the tree line.  Pretty amazing.  I was so proud of us for making the hike (especially proud of me for doing it and also not freaking out that the kids went higher), though we were tired and hungry afterwards.  (And waits were long at the Blue Donkey burger place we went to first, so we grabbed some really good pizzas at Piecasso.)


On the road to the top of Mansfield










Breathtaking







Moss Glenn Falls:  Oh, the falls.  It was easy to get to the stream, a beautiful, very cold stream with big and small rocks.  There was probably some kind of mill at the shore--no right angles in nature, especially of piled rocks.  We hung out there for awhile, gathering courage to attack the rock-and-root scramble to see the falls.  Trying and tiring.  And very scary.  More scary than actually hard.  Especially because it reminded me of the rocky, wooded mount where Boromir was killed in The Lord of the Rings movie.  I even dropped my skirt to wear just my athletic shorts to crawl on my hands and knees. But oh so beautiful.   I'm so proud of myself!   And Pop and the kids went even higher!!  We hike well together, each taking care of the other.  Everyone hiking their own hike.  Mama takes pictures.  Pop presses ahead and then falls behind to help. I stop to listen to birds or look at butterflies.  Sis built a dam in the water.  Both kids made a cairn in the rocks.  All we needed was a picnic lunch (though, it was almost too warm to eat.)



For comparison, that's my dad in orange waving.

Glacially cold stream




Remains of a building





Ben and Jerry's:  On our first attempt to visit (right after the waterfall), we missed the last tour and then didn't want to wait in a 50-person line for ice cream.  Our second attempt was moderately more successful, in that we made the tour but still didn't want to wait in a really long line for ice cream.  The tour was great--short and quite literally sweet, with a sample of Americone Dream at the end (pretty tasty and so obviously freshly made and not in a store freezer.)  And I loved the shop, especially the rainbow cow shirt about love!

------At this point, we separated, with the kids spending two nights with Gommie and Pop alone (not too many details, but they ate a lot, watched several shows on Food Network, played ping pong, loved the exhibits at the Shelburne museum while also missing the rain, but were perhaps not as enamored of Fort Ticonderoga), and Mama and I taking a quick night to ourselves at the Inn at Shelburne Farms.------

Shelburne Farms:  I've been aware of Shelburne Farms for awhile but not even entirely sure what it was.  Dairy? Resort? Museum? Restaurant? I knew it was in upper VT and that they'd had a terrible fire a few years back that wiped out one of their barns and their old-growth wood collection.  Well, now I know better.  It is a dairy, an educational institution, an inn, restaurant, and an historic site.  And we got a bit of a taste of it all as we toottled around the Farm Barn learning about cheese and visiting the animals, having delicious sandwiches for lunch (ham/apple panini for me, avocado/sprouts for Mama, with cold carrot ginger soup), learning about the historic home and model farm built by Dr. Webb and his wife Lila Vanderbilt, and eating a "farm supper" (stuffed trout, stuffed tofu, parsnips, wild rice, 3-year aged cheddar, vanilla ice cream on a ganache-covered tuile), and then an amazing breakfast (buttermilk pancakes with maple mascarpone cream and rhubarb compote, a savory steel oat risotto with ham, spinach, and an egg on top) in the restaurant, plus tea and sweets in the afternoon.  Truthfully, I was so enamored with the ceiling of the dining room (or "Marble Room" which was once the ballroom) that I barely noticed dinner (which was just as well because I'm not that fond of a heavy hand with herbs.)

That's the barn!







Oh, the house.  It was like getting to stay at a famous house museum, like spending the night as a guest at the Breakers (Vanderbilts, Newport, RI) or  The Mount (Edith Wharton, Lenox, MA) or something.  Aesthetically, it reminded me of H.H. Richardson's "shingle style" houses but also something of the Arts and Crafts movement of William Morris (especially the niche in the stairs and the library; the tea room and dining room were much more formal neo-classicism or Georgian, if memory serves, with elaborate white moldings and huge formal portraits.)  I was happy sitting in the library with 6,000 books, the scent of which reminded me of Aunt Sis.  Mama and I made a pile--Victorian American foodways, a history of Lake Champlain, New England Gardens, the diary of a Victorian gardener--which we perused on the porch in matching rocking chairs.  Thank heavens for a stiff breeze or we would have been pretty uncomfortable.

Tea Room



Captivating dining room ("Marble Room") ceiling



Room past the tea room







Doesn't it feel like Arts and Crafts?




The library.





Our room, the "White Room" (actually on the third floor, once probably the valet's room with buttons to call the sewing room! and stairs leading to Dr. Webb's room), was in a turret overlooking the lake, a huge space with a seating area and desks.  I reclined on a chaise lounge while Mama sat in one of the overstuffed chairs, feet on a "poof."  We just watched the clouds move, the water flow.  It was all very decadent.  So relaxing.  The best part was the lightning storm that rolled in that evening--rain poured down the house and trampled the garden, flashes lit the lake and silhouetted the trees, but the thunder only rumbled and didn't crack like we expected.  Still, I love a good storm and we watched it until at least midnight.


Our sitting area

And views . . . 




Dr. Webb's trunk and our borrowed books






Gardens:  My first introduction to the Shelburne gardens was actually in the back of the house, in the parking lot, where I got a whiff of what I thought was jasmine.  I found out later from the gardener, who let me have some of the blossoms felled by the storm, that it was mock orange.  Ooooh, still, it reminded me of summer nights in Tunisia and Mama of temple offerings in Thailand.  The garden borders the lake, with a rocky beach and cliffs to one side and an "enchanted forest" to the other.  It was designed in terraces, rooms even (a la Vita Sackville-West at Sissinghurst and Gertrude Jekyll), with a whole space devoted to roses, another to peonies, a section with herbs, another with various flowers that I can't name (lilac and gardenia perhaps, and so much else), several little statues including a cement fruit-and-flower basket like my paternal grandparents had, a portico with seats and a table (and waxed leaf ligustrum aka Ligustrum japonicum "Texanum" which I recall from my childhood in Houston--love that scent!), ornamental balustrades, and a lily pond complete with fish.  It was two owl statues which led our way into the "ramble" so to speak, with several benches throughout the maze-like forest (the "enchanged forest"), including a ring of yew trees framing the bench overlooking the lake.  We were quite hidden as we watched the sun begin to set.  We visited this garden several times--in the heat of Sunday afternoon, in the shade of the setting sun with the thunderstorm approaching, and again the next morning as the gardener tried to revive the peonies and let me have a few of the cuttings.  The dampness of the garden just heightened the power of the scent of the roses and peonies.  Oh, it makes me wish I was a better, more dedicated and persistent gardener (I get lazy with the watering and the weeding, which means many things don't make it.)






Sunset over Lake Champlain and Adirondacks, with approaching storm

All peonies!



View from the enchanted forest















Porch views . . . .





Lake Champlain Maritime Museum and Philadelphia:  Before we headed home on Monday, we decided to take in the Maritime museum (instead of the Shelburne which was bigger and had so much more walking.)  It's definitely a local affair but has many interesting artifacts and experimental archaeology projects, most notably a reconstruction of Benedict Arnold's Philadelphia, one of his slapdash gun boats built quickly of green wood (and so prone to leaks) to keep the British from taking the lake and thus separating New England from the rest of the colonies.  The original was sunk at the Battle of Val Coeur in 1776, but the copy sits in a small harbor on Lake Champlain.  I don't know much colonial maritime history and so was fascinated by all our docent had to say, including how 40 conscripted men slept upright in shifts against the wall of the boat while officers got benches!  The boat had no keel and was 5 times broader than it was deep so it could only sort-of sail, which meant there were oar locks all over.  It carried numerous large and small cannon for very close combat.  All in all, I would not have wanted to be on that boat in a naval battle.  Those poor men; though, they did their jobs and kept the British from taking the lake.


The Philadelphia







Long drive home:  After the museum, we ate a very tasty sandwich lunch at the nearby Red Mill restaurant, where it began to pour rain as we sat.  And the rain didn't let up for hours.  It was an awful drive home and more than once we contemplated spending the night somewhere to wait out the storm (but $371 for a night at the Equinox in Manchester was just too much.)  Losing all network connectivity didn't help because we couldn't 1.) navigate or 2.) keep an eye on the radar.  I actually read the map as we passed Tarbellville and Wallingford, neither of which had good places to pull over.  So we ended up in Weston at, you guessed it, the Vermont Country Store!  Yep, the store bookended our trip and really was a lifesaver.  We picked up snacks for dinner and a few more souvenirs.  And made it home a few hours later than we'd hoped.  Still, we were safe and the cats were happy (enough) to see us.

What a glorious weekend, indeed what a wonderful two weeks with my folks!  So many great experiences, so many lovely memories.  And really, we're not done . . . because we'll be heading to Texas later this summer.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Nostalgia

I put them on the bus for the last day of elementary school.  And I've been looking over my old photos, and everyone else's who posted on FB, and am feeling the bittersweet pang of children growing.

No more bus stops for me (they won't want me at the middle school stop, even if it's our corner.)
No more dress code/uniforms for them.
No more field days, Snowflake Bingo, Pajama Nights, school musical, Math nights, recess, and all of the other great elementary school events I can't think of right now.
No more elementary-school family, after seven years, because our school splits into two middle schools.
No more mom network for me; most of the moms I know are off to the other middle school.

Sure, there are lots of great things coming, but I'm looking back right now and appreciating the community of which we've been a part since 2010.  It's been a wonderful journey for all of us (with some not so great bits) and I'm going to miss the comfort and familiarity, the support and dedication that is elementary school.  It's never quite the same afterwards and they won't ever be at another school this long (well, unless they do a Ph.D. and take a bit, but that's not the same either.)

So, goodbye, elementary school, and thank you.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Summer Fun List 2017

With just two half-days of school left, I've been looking over our old Summer Fun lists and I can already tell that this year will be a bit different.  I don't organize activities as much as I did years ago because the kids don't need me to.   I realized more clearly this year. that this is definitely my list, not theirs, and some I've included things I want to do for me and things I hope they do.  Still, here's a list of ideas for me to keep in mind.

  1. Go to Vermont
  2. Sis's speedskating camp
  3. Go to Texas
  4. Family camp in Maine
  5. Sis's computer camp
  6. Bud's theater camp 
  7. Ice skating with friends
  8. Putt-putt with friends
  9. Beach outing
  10. Putt-putt golf
  11. Create Minecraft server
  12. Make ice cream
  13. Go to zoo
  14. Family biking
  15. Celebrate 4th of July
  16. Celebrate Solstice
  17. Celebrate Mama's birthday with Studio Ghibli film festival
  18. Birthday parties for kids
  19. Kids cook weekly dinners
  20. Attend friends' Friday Night Dance Party


  21. See Spiderman Homecoming
  22. See Thor: Ragnorak
  23. Big house purge before carpet removal
  24. Backyard archery
  25. Bird song e-course
  26. Zentangle subscription video
  27. Summer Soul Camp workshop
  28. Clean basement
  29. Gardening
  30. Make rock art
  31. Lego Death Star
  32. Refurbish dollhouse
  33. Kids learn how to do laundry
  34. Volunteering (Sis with horse camp, Bud with cats?)
  35. Lemonade-stand fundraiser
  36. NYC nano-honeymoon with Mama--see Come From Away or Great Comet
  37. Try embroidery on pillowcase
  38. Improve my Splattoon skills
  39. Make Jan-June photobook
  40. Get back to my YogaDance class
  41. Quilling
  42. Read through magazine pile
  43. Teach mandalas class

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Proud Parents and Grandparents

I am all aglow from the events of the last week.

And not just because of the heat wave which engulfs us and is sending the kids home early today (the temperature in the classrooms is up over 100F, definitely no learning going on.)

No, I'm a very proud mom after a weekend of the school play, a horse show, and the sixth-grade award ceremony.

"It's Showtime!"
And best yet, all the grandparents and their uncle Goo were here to celebrate all of these with us.

The play, oh the play.  The kids--all the kids--were marvelous in Madagascar Jr., a musical retelling of the popular animated movie.  Bud played "Rico," the kung-fu fighting, sushi-loving penguin.  I loved watching him perform, from his slides onto the middle of the stage, his quick kung-fu moves, to his singing "Sea Shanty."  I really liked how he waddled and moved his head around like a real penguin. For me, he just lit up the stage.

Sis was a police officer, appearing mostly in the first few scenes and then the end, looking intimidating in her navy blue (real) police officer shirt and hat.  She does stern well and was believable with that walkie-talkie.  But oh, we had a shock to see her in eyeliner and blush.  She became a teenager right in front of us.  Kinda surprising.  But it all totally worked in the part.  And she didn't have to dance (which she does not like to do on stage.)

I was the snack coordinator again, meaning I oversaw the procurement and distribution of water and snacks to the cast during all three shows.  It's a bit of organizational work, but not much compared to people in charge of costumes, props, choreography, etc.  And we get to go backstage, which other parents not working do not.  I saw the show twice, checking the cafeteria before and after, and during intermission, and then worked the cafeteria snacks on Saturday.  It was pretty hot the last two performances, but we had enough water and watermelon, which is their favorite.  Mama, Gommie, and Pop also helped us out--fetching coolers and ice, helping bring in snacks.

After the show on Friday, we all headed to a local diner with much of the cast, loudly celebrating while wolfing down dinner.  Everyone was exhilarated and exhausted.  Saturday night, it was me, Mama, Gommie and our Beloved Babysitter and her boyfriend.  So special that they came!  She brought the kiddos flowers and then we all went to a diner together afterwards.  We love to see her and were interested to finally meet her chef boyfriend.

After Sunday's show, there was a cast party after the last performance.  The kids signed each other's t-shirts and posters between a chicken dinner and cake.  They also got the cast cards that audience members could leave for them.  We all wrote cards for Sis and Bud, and I also wrote cards to all my Girl Scouts and a few of the other cast members.  I just wanted them to know how much I really enjoyed the show and all their hard work.  It was a nice little party, after an amazing weekend.  And I couldn't be prouder.

Ride 'em, Horse Girl
In the midst of all that, Sis had a horse show on Saturday which we did not want to miss.  Even tired, she loves to ride "her" horse, Murphy.  So, Gommie, Pop, Mama, and I spent a hot day in the field watching those beautiful beasts and their composed riders.  Sis got a first place for jumping (because she made her diagonals correctly) and three third places for Walk-Trot-Canter equitation and pleasure (her dear Murphy was being a bit stubborn.)  I can't really tell what makes for a good ride; I just like watching.  Gommie was especially interested in how the whole horse show worked--the different events, the different commands ("the class is closed," "riders reverse at the wall," posting vs. half-seat, pleasure vs equitation--I understand it all, just barely.)  But we were all a bit relieved to get out of the heat after her events were over.  Still, I love watching her ride.  Almost as much as she loves horses!

Though, the kids did manage to go swimming with Gommie and Pop after eating some SmashBurgers!  And then it was off to the next performance . . . .  

And the Award Goes to  . . . .
It was a very hot night in the school auditorium, where I had been since Thursday (for the final dress rehearsal, I chaperoned with Gommie), but we were all happy to gather in our hot-weather finest for the celebration of the kids leaving elementary school.  I guess you could call it graduation or commencement, but they don't.  Sis wore her dress pants and white gauzy shirt, Bud was in a light blue Oxford--basic dress up clothes for them both (like for chorus or orchestra.)  We took a lot of pictures, in many combinations, getting a few great ones with grandparents and many of their school friends.  We didn't quite know what to expect from the ceremony, didn't really know what awards there were.  It started with a basic presentation of certificates for their involvement in the play, chorus, art, orchestra, etc., all of which were just passed out in an envelope.  We did know about the Presidential Awards, which the kids hoped to earn--the Gold award was for a 3.5 GPA and over 60 on various STAR tests.  I thought they qualified, but we didn't know until they were both called--the second set of twins to earn the Presidential Gold Award that night (the other set, in their class, also has two moms!)   They just beamed with pride and I was sniffly.  (I laughed that we should switch their last names so they could be called earlier in the round up!)  Then the Character Education Awards.  Someone had told Sis they thought she should get one--and she did!  Wow!  And then Bud won a prestigious Citizenship Award named after a local detective, that came with $100 (all the kids oohed and aahed)!  (He got it with another young lady, one of our friends and a former Girl Scout.)  Wow again!  So proud of them--academics and character!!!  Proud of all of our kids, especially their gifted-and-talented classmates and my Girl Scouts (current and former.)  It really was fun to celebrate them.  Which we did with more cake in the cafeteria, more pictures all over, and then a trip to the local ice cream shop with a bunch of their classmates.  I got a hot fudge sundae because I was proud of Mama and me, too.  Ma had even said we were good parents, which was a wonderful first.  My folks say it a lot, but it means so much each time; I was really glad that my dad made the trip, which was a last-minute decision.   And I'm glad they were all able to be with us, surrounding the kiddos with love and support during this exciting time.

And so now, they'll be home early because of the heat.  Gommie and Pop are off to who-knows-where, but we'll see them later.  The kids are essentially done with class--tomorrow is their 6th-grade picnic and then they have two half-days (hope the heat dismissal doesn't change that.)  Then they really are done!  Middle Schoolers!

It's all bittersweet.  I love their teachers and the supportive environment of the school.  They've had good times here and grown and learned so much.  I have, too.  But just as we moved from home to preschool, preschool to half-day kindergarten, half-day to full day, the small elementary school to the upper grades at the larger elementary school, we'll all be okay moving to middle school.  And I think, after a bit, we'll all be good, thanks to the love and support of family and community.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

My NYC Field Trip

Yesterday, I took my own field trip into NYC yesterday for a conference on palliative care and the arts at Fordham University.  I hadn't been into NYC by myself in years; it's been more than twelve since I commuted regularly.  Because of my sensitive back and anxious tummy, I was nervous about going in for the day, but I also really wanted to go not only for the conference but to prove I could do it.  And it all came back to me.

I was on a pretty early train, earlier than I ever left when I worked in the city, and I fell asleep in my favorite window seat almost immediately and woke up at 125th Street.  Getting from GCT to Times Square on the shuttle and then to 59th on the 1 train (I want to say 1/9, but there isn't a 9 train there anymore.)  I could almost do it with my eyes closed.  Because it isn't hot yet, it thankfully didn't have that subway smell; nor did I see any rats on the track!  Otherwise, it felt like going home.

The conference itself was okay.  I loved the topic of "palliative arts" but they could have done so much more with it.  The conference was mostly for people in the field--social workers, palliative and hospice specialists, chaplains, and volunteers like me--but the talks were just incredibly introductory, as if for the general public.  Like "poetry is good for sick people" or "movement is good for sick people" with a lot of "I did this and it was wonderfully effective" or "I wrote this article to prove how effective my specialty is."  The music therapist really underlined this--she repeatedly contrasted music (like "the music your grandmother likes") with music therapy ("I match specific rhythms to physical or emotional aspects of the client"), emphasizing that only music therapists could do this.  So why tell us?  None of us were music therapists.  And I'd expand on that by saying that patients are much more likely to come across social workers, chaplains, and volunteers than the rare music therapist, so why not give us some tools that we CAN use?  Give us a music activity or a writing activity.  I'm happy with learning about and celebrating their successes, but I also wanted to know how to adapt their best practices to my work.  And in that respect, I was disappointed.

Still, I did glean a few things (just not as much as I wanted):
  • One of the keynote speakers was very influenced by Buddhism philosophy, specifically the Japanese therapist Itami's Meaningful Life Therapy (see local Todo Institute), plus Morita (which I don't quite have a handle on) and also Naikan, which delves into gratitude.  She repeatedly used words like constructive or creative living, meaningful living, and the like.  She believed that palliative care should be introduced within the first day or two of diagnosis.  I can see where that would be really helpful.  Just like starting hospice earlier than the last few weeks is really helpful.  It allows patients to utilize resources, consider their own needs, and implement some new habits or practices--like Morita and Naikan--to help get them through.  
  • Music therapy--"it doesn't always have to be harps."  She's had success with drums for a woman from the Virgin Islands too.  But don't try this, YOU are not a music therapist (yes, I was a bit annoyed.)
  • Dance or movement therapy--she had us do a breath meditation (with a bit of a body scan) and then mirror, or more specifically, respond to the movements of our partner by watching them for awhile and then joining in.  The pause is very important; it's about respect and letting go of control.  I liked that movement therapy is non-judgemental and focuses on what the body can still do.
  • I really liked the woman who talked about comic books and palliative care, or "graphic medicine."  There is apparently a whole genre of graphic novels dealing with medical issues--books by the patients themselves, not the practioners.  She noted that comics could touch deep emotions and clarify feelings about difficult topics.  I just don't know if I've had hospice patients with the fine motor skills to do any drawing; I tried Zentangle once and the patient couldn't really hold a crayon.
  • The poet shared many of the poems written by his patients.  Of course, poetry, like graphic novels, clarifies feelings and brings on self-awareness and transformation.  Both reading and writing poetry can be valuable.
  • Lastly, a filmmaker introduced a new documentary on dying in America, entitled Defining Hope.  I like the bits we saw and welcome the chance to see the whole thing--it's screening on Nov. 1, in Palliative Care and Hospice month, on the Day of the Dead/All Souls Day!
I loved being in the city.  Mercy, I walked more in a day than I ever do here at home.  And it's much more interesting walking, not just looking at yards and houses.  I grabbed a snack at Hale and Hearty soup, one of my old favorites--a tasty pennette vodka soup, plus a chocolate croissant.  No Junior's there anymore though.  But I did enjoy perusing the newsstand.  I miss it all.  But I also realized that now I can take the kids in on my own this summer.  They're independent and I am capable.  Let's see when we go and what we do.

BIG Affirmations

Affirmations Continued

Here's another update to my Affirmations list  (my original list of Affirmations is from March, AprilOctober 2015, then March and June 2016.) 

As you know, every now and then I need a confidence boost.  You have probably figured out that I often underestimate my abilities, am hard on myself, and get anxious about it all.  So here is my list of times I overcame all that, proof that I can do it again!  New bullet items are in bold.

I have not had severely debilitating back pain since 2010.  Three years ago, Memorial Day 2014 when I had back pain, I still functioned and did things.  My surgery was almost two years ago, and, despite a weight gain caused by steroids etc., I am so much better.  

Recently, I have successfully navigated:

  • going into NYC for 13 hours by myself!!!!  Swaying trains, lots of walking, awful conference chairs--no back pain or much anxiety!!!!!!  SO PROUD!!!!!  I love NYC!
  • walking the Bronx Zoo for three hours with no back brace!
  • driving 30+ minutes both ways to new hospice place!
  • INTERVIEWING for new volunteer hospice position (twice--volunteer coordinator AND senior chaplain)--and getting the position!!!
  • middle school orientations and all the end-of-year activities;
  • going to the doctor on my own without much anxiety;
  • doing a big, busy weekend all by myself (Mama was on retreat), with lots of driving, a horse show, and speedskating;
  • managing conflict without avoiding it;
  • singing alone and acapella in front of 30 students and a voice coach;
  • Kripalu Yoga Dance; 
  • walking the Kripalu labyrinth without a brace; 
  • volunteering at an all-day speedskating event;
  • teaching a Zentangle class to 22 students;
  • attending the opera despite a mild stomach bug;
  • conflict and confrontation at a meeting;
  • hiked Sleeping Giant for 2+ hours, starting off without my brace;
  • hikes at the Appalachian Trail, Thundering Brook, Quechee Gorge, Webb Mountain, East Rock Park, Roosevelt Forest, and others;
  • riding in a wagon at a parade, waving to crowds, for more than an hour;
  • exploring the top of a mountain, Mt. Equinox;
  • extended walking on ice (in new great boots!);
  • Hawk Watch 2016 at Audubon Greenwich and elsewhere;
  • Snowy Owling walks;
  • Just Dance with Bud;
  • morning walks at the zoo without brace;
  • baking challah with hospice patient over two visits;
  • three-hour schooner ride in LI Sound;
  • walked the High Line;
  • our big Florida trip--Universal Studios Harry Potter World!!!!;
  • a long 5-day workshop to become a Certified Zentangle Teacher;
  • a retreat at Kripalu;
  • my piano recital of "Greensleeves";
  • explorations of Providence (before CZT), Philadelphia (before a friend's installation), Northampton/Western Mass (with Historic Deerfield, Magical Wings, and Webs Yarn Store!!);
  • a nighttime Owl Prowl and a hike up a mountain to see wolves; 
  • Gong's citizenship ceremony;
  • a Taize service;
  • volunteering and attending the school play for three days;
  • festival at historic house with games and activities;
  • giving several historic house tours;
  • filmed historic house video;
  • teaching my very first Zentangle class to adults and then my first class to students;
  • purchasing and riding a bicycle;
  • visiting Connecticut Hospice;
  • HAMILTON!
  • extra driving to and from play, to doctors' offices, etc;
  • gone to the movies;
  • pushed a cart at the store without my brace;
  • evening performances at Lincoln Center and Broadway;
  • the all-day rehearsal time and then performance of Bud's kung fu at Lincoln Center;
  • walking 10 blocks, eating in a restaurant, and walking back 10 blocks;
  • back-to-back museum exhibitions;
  • test driving and buying a new car;
  • conducting various GS meetings (including Bronze Award!) and standing at the GS cookie booth;
  • being in charge--rides, meals, chores, etc.--as the only adult for the whole weekend;
  • parented alone for a whole weekend, with all the driving and meals etc;
  • complete a huge crocheted blanket;
  • passing my CPR test, with 3+ minutes of demonstration of compressions, etc.;
  • driving Bud to a performance, staying to watch, and driving home;
  • walking the marsh and the beach to look for the Snowy Owl;
  • lightsaber sparring with Bud; 
  • cleaning the porch with Mama;
  • pick up dear Mr. P and carry him when he was ill;
  • walked on rocky/shelly beaches looking sea glass (home and Block Island);
  • attending a weekend knitting retreat (with lots of sitting!);
  • walking labyrinths (at retreat and Block Island);
  • walking on wooded paths, where I saw an owl (retreat);
  • attended several parties;
  • sat through SW7 three times (once followed by dinner!);
  • Chinese New Year, with several sessions of kneeling to pray;
  • regular doctors' appointments;
  • one word:  colonoscopy;
  • and more that I can't even remember.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Here They Come

My parents are somewhere in West Virginia, heading our way.  Apparently, they're enjoying the country roads . . . which makes me want to start singing John Denver.

They are coming to Connecticut for the weekend, to see the play, a horse show, and awards night.  Then they're tootling around the northeast so that we can be together for awhile after school lets out.

It's going to be a crazy few weeks.

Fun, but crazy.

Monday, June 5, 2017

My Feminist Bubble

I forget sometimes that I live in a feminist bubble with a whole community of friends who are in here, too.  I know I shouldn't be surprised, in light of the election, etc., but I was still a bit taken aback when the man behind me at the movie concession stand yesterday scoffed that anyone but girls would want to see "Wonder Woman."  He then coached his tween boy, who was there to see "Captain Underpants," to mock the idea. "You wouldn't want to see Wonder Woman, would you?  That's for girls.  Boys don't want to see that."  And the boy was quiet and confused, whining that he was there to see Captain Underpants (quite literally worried that he would have to see Wonder Woman.)

No words. And honestly, I didn't engage much beyond "I think Wonder Woman is for everyone. Boys can watch girls in movies. My son is." I know I won't change the man's mind in a two-minute conversation in line . . . and honestly I think twice about engaging with strangers in public because I can't be sure they won't become aggressive.  Protecting Muslim women in Portland from a white supremacist is a worthy cause; arguing about a Sunday matinee isn't.

I wish I had Diana Prince's cuffs sometimes.

We loved the movie, by the way.  And not just because it was finally a female protagonist in a comic-book movie (though, that's why we went opening weekend, to support such movies financially.)  The plot was engaging and not completely transparent (though, SPOILERS, we knew actor David Thewlis's role had to be pivotal); the pace quick, balancing action and comedy, quiet moments and explosive ones.  And yes, Mama and I like fit women in leather, going back twenty-odd years to Xena.  The kids liked it a lot, too.

And given the current political and cultural atmosphere, it's exactly the kind of movie we need.

Again.

Yet another London attack.  On the day of the One Love Manchester concert with Ariana Grande and friends, another van ran down people on the bridge near Big Ben and the passengers then ran to a nearby market and stabbed more people.  Terror. Terrorism.

My thoughts go out to England, again.

And also to the other victims of terrorism recently--the Coptic Christians killed on the bus in Egypt, those in the financial district of Kabul who were killed by car bomb--and the violence at the ensuing funerals--and all the events I haven't heard about.

Peace, Salaam, Shalom.


Friday, June 2, 2017

Tidbits

As promised, some of our recent news:


  • Sis's horse show:  It's horse show season again and we've already got two down, with one to go in a few weeks.  These are home shows at "our" farm.  Sis competes in the beginner group of Walk-Trot-Canter, which also includes equitation, pleasure, and poles.  No, I'm not really sure what all of that means.  I do know she came home with four ribbons last time--two firsts, a second, and a third.   And that she loves going to shows, even just helping out in the barn, anything so she can smell horse.  She's even watching a horse show on tv, Canadian "Heartland," which is second best to being with horses.  It's gotten even stronger, this horse love, since we began partially leasing Murphy, a black furry pony.  She basically gets an extra lesson a week, plus her original lesson, both usually on Murphy.  And she shares riding Murphy in the home shows.  
  • Our first Memorial Day weekend home together in years:  Because Bud is a lead in the school play, which has rehearsals three days a week, we opted to skip kung fu competition in NJ this year because he couldn't practice for both.  Good decision.  Except we all missed our annual trek to NJ, which has included side trips to Philly and to the Jersey Shore in past years.  I don't think we've all been home for Memorial Day since 2010 (see here on first kung fu competition, for both of them!)  Because I was still very under the weather, we didn't do much.  Just as well because everyone is pretty burned out and tired by the end of the school year.  And it rained.  At least now we're all looking forward to being in New Jersey next year.
  • Middle school orientation:  Yes, middle school.  Next year.  After seven years at the same elementary school (albeit two different buildings), the kiddos are moving on.  We're all excited and nervous and curious about what next year will be like.  We've been to two orientations, which didn't quite answer many questions.  The first one at least allowed the kids to wander the school on a scavenger hunt, after long and boring intros by various teachers who we couldn't hear over the mike feedback.  They had fun wandering around with their school friends in the big, confusing building.  Mama and I just meandered.  I liked the wall art.  The second orientation was more about dealing with the social issues of junior high, addressed in a variety of little skits.  Don't be mean, how to avoid mean people.  And all the different ways moms can embarrass you.   The handouts for parents were more on the mark--sexting, drugs, alcohol, cyberbulling. Talk about making us all look forward to the transition.
  • Our new Eurovision obsession:  if you are not familiar with Eurovision, it's a songwriting and performance contest between all the European nations--and Australia!--held yearly, for the last 50-some-odd years.  It started as a way to revitalize and reconnect war-torn Europe.  Even if you don't know it, you do--it's how Abba got their start, with "Waterloo."  I think it must also be a huge gay pride event, even before there were official gay pride events.  It seems to attract 30-something European men more than any other group; and yes, there is quite an element of camp. It's now shown on LOGO in the US, yep, the gay tv channel.  Last year, the commentators were quite snarky; this year they took it a bit more seriously.  The music is catchy and light, though sometimes political or more artistic.  The performance pieces are over the top, with lights and digital projections and dancers; it's all very entertaining.  Some of it is just odd:  like the yodeling piece from Romania this year.  But there are also milestones:  this year, the first Roma performer represented Hungary and the first aboriginal performer represented Australia.  And a young man from Portugal singing alone on a stage, no lights or dancers, with a quality some compared to Edith Piaf, won the entire thing.  And we watched it all!  Bud loves the music--his favorite is "Requiem," a ballad from France.  I like the yodeling song and the upbeat tune from Belarus.  I have also co-opted Sweden's entry, singing "I can't go on because I'm this freaking beautiful!"  Sis enjoyed looking up each country on the globe and likes all the music well enough, too.  Though, with the collection of all the songs on repeat, everyone but Bud is getting a bit tired of it.  He's even looking up past years on YouTube. At least he's learning some geograpy.  
  • Recent crochet:  I finished the pastel rainbow blanket I've been working on for ages.  It's a kit from Attic24, but instead of doing the colors in her random order, I had to put them in rainbow color order.  I love the stitches, though, just a pattern of rows of double crochet and granny clusters.  I have some other little projects I'm working on, though there hasn't been much time for crochet.
  • Lastly, Gommie and Pop are headed our way for the play, a horse show, and the sixth-grade awards ceremony.  They're driving, staying awhile with us after school is over, and then rushing home so that my family can fly to Texas for 4th of July.  Not the best planning, but it will be fun to spend some time together.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Good News

After nearly five years of volunteering for a for-profit hospice organization, I am taking the next step in my path to becoming a hospice chaplain.

Last week, I met with the volunteer director of a local free-standing hospice provider and she invited me to meet with the chaplain about joining the pastoral care team.  I spoke with him on the phone and then met him today . . . and I'm in!  I'll be a volunteer with the pastoral care team, a big step on my way to being a hospice chaplain.  I'll have more information about everything I'll be doing later, but it will run the gambit from visiting, conversation, funerals, even the odd wedding.  Altogether, though, it's about sitting with patients and families to give them space and a listening ear to explore the journey they're on.  I worried that I wouldn't pass muster with a senior chaplain because of my "knowledge gap" in theology (while I have a passing familiarity with various Christian denominations and their differences, I haven't read the whole Bible.  I know most of the stories through art.)  But, even after five years of volunteering elsewhere, I've never had a theological discussion with anyone who was dying; most want to talk about their families, relive memories, even those surrounded by Bibles, Christian hymns, prayer cards, and rosaries.   Closet I've come is singing "Amazing Grace" and reciting the Lord's Prayer.  Still, I know I have a lot to learn and I'm looking forward to companions on my own journey.  And if I'm not cut out for hospice chaplaincy, it's good to know before I go get anoter degree! (Yep, to be a real chaplain--accredited and all--I need a Masters of Divinity.)  If it is the right place for me, well, I'm excited to find that out.

It'll be rigorous, though.  At my initial interview, I was asked if I'd experienced a momentous death.  I never thought losing my dear Aunt Sis would come up in an interview, but I was able to talk about her death--how it was highly medicalized, with hospice only at the end, but that seemed to be her preference.  Of course, then later, my uncle and cousin died.

Then, in a cold call (which I never should have answered, being sick and half asleep on the couch), the chaplain (a Christian) asked me how I had been called to spiritual care.  Of course, I don't think of it as a divine "calling," not being called by anything but my own spirit.  Which I explained, along with my own path to Unitarian Universalism and hospice (Do you know what you call an atheist with children?  Unitarian.  Plus, there are my leanings to Buddhism.  And my own experience with pain and isolation.)  But I should've known that chaplains have seen it all.    These are not the questions I've had on other interviews. But I answered and was honest and it went well.

Still, I was glad to have practiced with Mama the night before--running through questions on strengths (comfort with people from different faiths and backgrounds; I've been told I'm a good listener) and weaknesses (that theology gap! also sometimes a tendency to avoid conflict and confrontation, though I'm better if I'm advocating for a patient.)  Also, what I want from my new organization--a mentor, a community of hospice workers, experience in a facility dedicated to hospice, more skills in sitting with people.  I could talk about my relevant experience--hospice volunteering, lay ministry at church, community service, mindfulness practice, non-violent communication (NVC) training--and my own practices such as Zentangle, Yoga Dance, meditation, reading poetry and history, even crocheting prayer shawls.  And, of course, clarifying my own beliefs--I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, the interconnection of all beings, the importance of a variety of sacred teachers and wisdom sources, each person's responsible search for truth.  Yep, those are the UU principles.  Nothing about heaven, hell, or even God.  I'm focused on the world I know.  I do not know beyond that, though I tend to believe there is a spark of life but no divine plan, no cosmic engineer controlling fate and destinty.  Religions are created by humans to help them understand and cope with the Mystery; as humans are flawed, so are religions.  I don't think we come close to comprehending the world around us (just look at how wrong we've been about margarine!)--there are things we do not understand or can explain--I don't think the Mystery will ever be fully known--though, moments of grace show us glimpses.  So, for me compassion is the guide through our experiences; some call it Love.  And that is what I want to bring to people as they or their loved ones are dying; just as I hope I am surrounded by love, compassion, and family when I die.

And NONE of that came up today!  It was a quick discussion--he was comfortable with me and must have seen something he could work with--and I clean up nicely, in new clothes approrpriate for the place.  So there we go.  I have some HIPPA hoops to jump  through and then I'm on my way.  Soon. (I'll do the TB test and have my photo taken in two weeks; they're also checking references and doing a background check.)  I can't wait.

Last note:  I was meditating yesterday in preparation for today, and came up with the metta meditation I could use with hospice patients (the whole safe-happy-healthy-live in peace progression isn't quite right), or really with anyone:
May all beings know joy.May all beings know hope.May all beings know comfort.May all beings know peace.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Our First Cadette Year

It's been a great Girl Scout year, our first as Cadettes (see other years here.)  Definitely very busy.  In fact, I'm really not sure how we squeezed it all in.

  • ROCKING HORSE RANCH!!!!  Sure, it was pretty much the last thing we did this year, but it was the biggest, both in time, money, and fun.
  • Teacher Appreciation Candy Bar Buffet--decorated bags for teachers to collect treats.
  • Cookie Booth--Sis and I missed this one because of a speedskating competition.
  • QSP--Yep.  This.  Not my favorite.
  • Al's Angels for Christmas--packing gift boxes for local families (and the girls made Santa hats)
  • Animal Helpers Badge--learned about the training of seeing-eye dogs, did presentation on helping animals, went to Rocking Horse Ranch
  • New Cuisines Badge--research family recipe, host Progressive Dinner, make spring rolls at Lunar New Year party (need to compile recipes)
  • Woodworking Badge--one-day woodworking extravaganza making a doll bed.
  • Night Owl Badge (camp out)--our evening program at Common Ground
  • Trees Legacy Badge--a great visit to Webb Mountain Discovery zone
  • Great Sportsmanship Badge--I can't remember what we did for this at all!!  But I know they watched videos on sportsmanship and discussed what it is.

Wow, that is a lot of badge work--six legacy badges!  A great year.  And I think all of our troop members are coming back next year, which is a wonderful surprise and pleasure.  

Better

Well, after almost two weeks of feeling crappy--feeling terrible, getting better, feeling worse--I went to the doctor and now know I have a sinus infections.  I've been on meds since Friday.  And I'm definitely feeling better, but still not normal.  It's all head congestion with sore throat and exhaustion. I've had a nap everyday for two weeks.  Not great.  But no one else has gotten it, which is the real up-side.  I think it was allergies that became infected (see, I have a narrow nose and deviated septum and I think things just don't, ahem, clear out sometimes.)

When I'm feeling better, I'll tell you about Sis's horse show, our first Memorial Day weekend home together in years, school orientation, our new Eurovision obsession, recent crochet, and my new hospice gig!  So, even being sick, I've got lots of news.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

**cough

Well, after being out every afternoon and evening with school/kid activities last week, I've come down with an almost-summer cold.  It's mostly in my throat and I now sound like some kind of choking seagull.  I thought it was getting better with soup, fluids, cancelling everything, etc, but I was up most of last night coughing.  Blah.

All of which means, I've watched a lot of mediocre tv that I never really meant to watch, like "Jamaica Inn," all of "Dear White People" (which I actually reall liked),  and "Chewing Gum."  I've done just a bit of Zentangle and crochet. not much else.

I'm hoping it improves soon, but at least the weekend is rather quiet.

Friday, May 12, 2017

All's Well That Ends Well

Let me begin by saying that everything is fine.  The threat was only perceived, no real.

So, here's the story.

On Monday, when I picked up the mail, there was a playing card in the mailbox.  A Barack and Michelle Obama playing card, the ace of spades.  I thought this was odd and wondered what was going on.  Bud, who must have been reading about mushrooms, told me it could be laced with mushroom bits that would seep in my skin and kill me.  Huh.  Of course, then I thought of the anthrax scare in the mail that killed a woman here in Connecticut after September 11th.  But Bud didn't know any of that.  Still, I laughed and put the card in the recycling.

On Tuesday, I came home from taking the kids to the doctor for vaccinations and noticed the flag on the mailbox was up, which I would swear it hadn't been when I left.  There, inside, was another playing card.  Barack and Michelle Obama, king of spades.  What the hell was this?  Who was leaving these?  What did it mean?  We've lived here 15 years, have had no trouble with the neighbors.  But, when I posted my question to FB, most of my friends encouraged me to call the police and the postmaster, viewing it, like I did, in a suspicious light.  It wasn't kids--kids were at school during the day.  Why spades?  The ace of spades, I learned quickly, was not only a racial slur but a folkloric indication of death.  Was it a countdown, from aces to king to . . . ?  What would happen at the end of the suit?  But why black racism?  I would understand something to do with our being lesbians and a bi-racial Chinese-Caucasian family, but spades?  Was it a general comment on our being Democrats?  Only people who know us know that--there were no political signs or bumper stickers outside our house.  So, did this person know us?  Questions swirled, fears grew.   It escalated.

The police came and made a report, also being suspicious and cautious.  They handled the playing card very carefully but said there was nothing they could do.  Yet.  The postmaster was shocked and concerned, promising to alert the postal authorities and our mail carrier.  These kind of things often get escalated to the FBI because the mailbox is federal property.

Meanwhile, on FB, concerns and suggestions mounted.  Mama came home and installed web cams so we could find out who was leaving the cards.  We pondered options, decided not to alert the children that we'd received a second one; we wanted them to feel safe in their own home.  I spoke to the school social worker, as a precaution; she was worried.  I contacted our minister, who suggested we leave the person a note.  I called my parents, who were ready to come at a moment's notice; grateful, Mama and I debated when that would be.

It was a restless evening, though I think we faked it well.  Early the next morning, I got a text.  A mom had spoken to a child to see if anything odd was in their own mailbox.  Like what, the kid wondered.  A playing card.  Information came out.  Two friends on the way to the bus stop.  A card found on the way.  Placed in our mailbox, because we are the bus stop house, and I didn't notice right away that it was there.  Another card the next day, again placed in the mailbox, flag up.  I didn't see the flag until later.  The mom read the child the riot act, but I was relieved.  The friend confirmed it at the bus stop.  Two different cards, two different days.  An innocent act that sparked a wildfire of anxiety and concern in the dangerous conditions liberals know that we live in.  Had we acted too hastily?  What if it had not been random and meaningless?  When do you know you are in danger?  To you risk it, with children?  We could have spared ourselves much anxiety if we hadn't worried.  What will we do next time?

We were relieved.  We told everyone that it was okay.  We didn't identify the children.  We were just glad.

And yet.  This was just a taste of the threats, insinuations, discrimination, prejudice, inequality, and violence that many people in minority and religious groups face now in our country, led by the man who leads our country.  We had a whole community of support, here and across several states; we had resources; we had the cooperation of the authorities; we had options.  This is privilege.  Many aren't so lucky.  The mail carrier told me she'd been through a similar incidence with a Muslim family in town receiving threats in the mail.  What happened to them, I wonder?  And we only had 48 hours of it--long enough for us, and it was innocent--some have a lifetime.  This is not the America I want.  And so my family will take this opportunity to commit ourselves to those who are threatened, harrassed, intimidated, and hated.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Giddy Up!

My troop:  13
Moms:  8
Other Girl Scouts:  300
Horses:  114
Days of rain:  3
Memories:  innumerable

I survived our Girl Scout weekend at Rocking Horse Ranch (RHR)!  I had thought, prepared, and stressed about this weekend for more than a year.  There was the initial decision, all the paperwork, lots of money, and then worries about it all being successful.  I take being a leader seriously and feel very responsible for the girls in my troop.  Thankfully, most of the moms were there so I had lots of help keeping track of girls.  See, because they are almost 12 (some of them are already), we let them have a lot of freedom with only occasional checking in, as long as they had a buddy with them at all times. And it worked.  There was only one drama episode (that I know of) and one tiny injury (a scrape on a water slide.)  This is success, indeed.  Plus, they loved it.

I'm hard pressed to remember what happened when.  So, I'll summarize.


  • Horses:  Of course, we were at the ranch to ride.  Each troop had two separate trail rides, on Saturday and Sunday each.  But first we had a stable tour, learning about feeding and riding regimens.  It's not easy to take care and keep track of 114 horses, including one that was 55 years old!  Sis had so much fun wandering the stables, sniffing her favorite horse smells.  She really was in her happy place all weekend.  And she rode five times!  Girls could ride standby if there was space on a trail ride, and so she and a few friends hopped on three extra times.  She rode Outlaw, Bravo, Brady, and then Lil' Red twice.  One of the wranglers was especially encouraging to her, liking her spirit.  See, the riding was "Western," which is a different saddle and a completely different way of steering the horse.  Sis has been riding "English"--and was wearing her usual riding gear, including her own helmet, boots, and stable jacket--but when the wrangler asked if she would be posting (a part of English riding), she said, "No, I'm riding Western!"  He was tickled.  And he thought she was doing really well for her first Western rides.  She rode intermediate everytime (she can't go from standstill to canter immediately and so couldn't ride advanced, though she tried.)  None of them cared that it rained during a few of the rides; the rides are only cancelled if there is thunder. All of the girls, and most of the moms (minus me and another couple), rode at least twice, even with the rain. A few of the girls even got to see the horses sent out to pasture at the end of the riding day.  They close the roads and parking lot and escort the untacked horses out in groups.  We lined the drive and petted the horses as they went by.  It really was a beautiful sight.  Sis loved it and would have loved to just live in the stables.  I enjoyed being out at the stables and even had a discussion with the blacksmith (Gommie, I could hear your voice in my conversation with him!), who gave me a few used horseshoes, which I gave to the girls who got up early for the Sunday ride.  Sis is going to hang hers up.  (Side note:  the only unpleasant bit all weekend--even including the drama bit with two of our girls--was a dishonest and unfair GS leader who tried to save 15 spaces for her troop in front of our girls at that early-morning standby.  I had pointed out to her that it was unfair, but she insisted and wouldn't give way.  I'm not great at confrontation and so recruited two of my other moms who were much more aggressive, even yelling.  The dishonest woman changed her story several times--first her troop was just waking up and getting changed, then they were on their way, then they had been there before everyone but just playing in the puddles and not standing in line; also, at first they were leaving at two (then her daughter said, "Mom, you said we were leaving at 6!") and then at noon and would miss their ride--one of my moms called her on her lies.  The head wrangler basically promised all a spot--and the leader still had her girls physically cut mine off (they were bigger.) It really was quite appalling.  She knew she was wrong, but people who know they are in the wrong often dig in much harder than anyone else.  And they don't give in to reason or sympathy.  One of the moms was surprised that, being an out lesbian, I wasn't better at conflict.  I told her that perhaps that was why--I have never seen a person's mind change via a quick conversation in a heated moment, especially not with yelling or any risk of embarrassment on the line.  It takes time and willingness and courage to change your mind.  And it is relatively rare.  Thankfully, all's well that ended well.  And it was a good teachable moment for Sis.)
  • Western theme:  I should have guessed that a so-called "ranch" would be western-themed, but I was a little taken aback by all the wagon wheels and horse shoes, faux Indian items (tipis, really?), and cowboy stuff.  Sure, in Texas, we go overboard sometimes with the cowboy-and-Indian stuff, but this was amazing.  It was like the Buc-ee's rest stops, but more so!  There was country music piped in 24/7, even custom pool dividers made to look like TNT barrels, a singing cowboy in spurs, and a caricatured cowboy/miner at a theme lunch.  And, perhaps as a Texan, I was a little bothered by how it was all just window dressing.  I wouldn't quite call it cultural appropriation, but there was something slightly problematic about it all for me, just a vague sense that it was all overdone.  But then, in Texas, I think it's often overdone as well--I know we romanticize the Old West--and that's historically dishonest.  
  • Besides horses, the girls swam, went mountain tubing (down a giant slide), bungee jumping on a trampoline, shot rifles and bows, played on a merry-go-round in a playground, went on paddle boats, participated in pie eating contests and trivia contests, sang karaoke, saw a magic show, went to a dance party.  It really was a wonderful array of activities.  And if it hadn't been raining, there would have been more time on the lake; as it was, our campfire was canceled.
  • And then there were SWAPS!  I love swaps, which I believe I've said in the past.  And I had happily organized our crafts for RHR--we had a lasso, a bandana, a campfire, and I even made clothespin horses for the girls in our troop.  Most of them had never been to a swap meet before and so I helped get them started with the only phrase you need, "Do you want to swap?"  Of course, Girl Scouts can't say no--"be a sister to every Girl Scout"--and so you trade.  But I do advise taking a lanyard or zipper bag for the trades and a separate baggie to keep the ones you don't want to trade away.  Otherwise, you can trade swaps you don't want to keep or have duplicates of back and forth.  There were so many great ones--sleeping bags, owls, bows and arrows, archery targets, beaches-in-a-bag, pet rocks, pet clouds, tic-tac-toe games in a bag, pies on bottle caps, s'mores, etc etc etc.  I will admit to becoming overzealous; I probably should have left it to the girls, but I had fun swapping, too.  Sis didn't tell me to move along, she said, because she could see how much fun I was having.  And I really was.
  • Food.  Yep, lots of food.  Think Cracker Barrel or Golden Corral.  Standard Americana fare.  Better than average.  Copious amounts.  Lots of choice.  But, the moms in my group just couldn't stop talking about food and eating.  It was tiresome--"Oh, this is good.  Isn't this good?  Aren't you surprised at how good this is?  I love salad, I could eat just salad.  I would be full for a whole day on this salad. I could be full for a whole day on this meal. I only need one meal a day.  I never eat this much.  I'm only eating because it's here. We'll have to exercise all of this off.  It's a good thing we don't always eat like this.  I'm giving myself an eating vacation. Look, unlimited soda.  I never drink soda. This is good soda.  I'll just drink this soda now.  I usually only drink water.  I don't drink anything with sugar.  I don't usually eat beef.  I only eat beef occasionally.  This is good beef and I just thought I'd treat myself.  I can't eat any more.  I'm still full from yesterday.  I'll just have one more ice cream.  I won't need to eat again."  STOP.  Mercy, American women often have such complicated and unhealthy relationships with food.  We barely spoke of anything else while we ate.  It was unpleasant.  But the girls loved it.  Sis had french fries, fried chicken, hamburgers, and lots of hot chocolate.  I doubt she had a vegetable all weekend!  And that's fine.  It was a vacation.  
  • In the end, it was just a marvelous weekend.  The girls and moms had a delightful time.  And even though I'm not much into games or sports and I do tend to worry and be a stickler for rules, I had a great time, too.
I can't seem to embed the photos in the text.












Monday, May 1, 2017

Again

Looks like I'm behind again!

With the kids asking me not to post much if anything about them here and the rise in my use of FB, I just don't post as much as I used to, though I know that several friends and family members read this first.  So I'll try to do better.

Let's see.  Today, Bud is home with a cold.  I think it's his first sick day in a year or so.  In fact, if the rest of the week weren't so big--school field trip, chorus concert, piano recital--I would have sent him to school.  But as it was, I didn't want to risk his getting worse.

Now I'm just hoping Sis doesn't get it, because she also has the field trip and concert plus a giant two-night Girl Scout "glamping" weekend at a resort.  Wish us all luck.  The weather has been damp and warm, the trees and such have exploded, and everyone seems to be sniffling.

So, what have I been doing?

Well, I went up against the BOE and school administration with other parents in town and defeated an initiative to unlevel middle school, meaning cancel honors classes.  I've composed a long post about this in my head several times because I'm still quite conflicted.  See, there's a huge achievement gap in our town, meaning African-Americans and Latinos score very much lower than their white and Asian counterparts; they are also less represented in said honors classes.  I recognize this as a social justice issue and know that such scores likely indicate albeit unintentional systemic/institutional bias and even racism.  The Democrat, social liberal, and Unitarian Universalist in me wants to rectify this.  But then there's the mom in me that fears that my children's academic achievement would be stalled by a non-leveled class, especially because they've been in the special gifted and talented class for three years (and are still not very challenged academically--how would they fare in an unleveled class??!!)  Certainly unleveling can succeed if properly prepared for, but the district was trying to rush the measure through without invovling parents (without even really telling them) and with little preparation for the changes.  Their instructional plan for high achievers in "regular" classes?  "Raise expectations, provide support, provide understanding."  BS.  That's not a plan.  They also mentioned an honors option, which is really just more homework and projects AT HOME--meaning they don't get instructional time with the teachers and the bulk of their education is independent learning (tough for 7th graders!)  AND then there were mentions that the accelerated learners would help the typical kids.  Great.  Social nightmare for everyone and then my kids would still not be getting their instructional time with the teacher.  So, the parent in me rebelled, took to FB, organized letters and phone calls, and helped convince the BOE not to unlevel until there is a better plan.  We need a better plan and we need to help the students who are being failed by our district.  But I'm still very torn about defeating the unleveling, which is supported by the National Education Association (NEA) and other groups, though several studies say it doesn't change the outcomes for slower learners.  Probably because middle school is way too late to affect monumental change.  It needs to start in preschool!  So . . . . so.  So, we're not homeschooling or sending our kids to private school next year.  And if the district votes to unlevel with a better plan after next year, I will stay informed and involved and maybe even support the plan.  Or take a "gap year" for 8th with my kids and travel around!!

What else?  On Saturday, a friend and I went to a wonderful mandala workshop at Copper Beech Institute in West Hartford and had a lovely, creative, inspiring day.  We walked the labyrinth and had a picnic lunch before class and then made a freehand mandala and a literal gratitude mandala in class.  And I learned how to make colored Zen Gems!  So much fun!  I spent Sunday practicing my new-found skills.




Last week, Mama's office hosted a special "Take Your Child to Work" Day program and so the kids spent 13+ hours following along her usual day!  They were up at 5:30 a.m. and home a bit before 7 p.m.  They had a tour, a special talk on what the company does and how the US's financial system works (they even got money from all over the world.  Ours got Cambodia and the DRCongo), and then went with Mama to her meetings.  They also played Nerf battles with her co-workers, which was their favortie part.  I think they had new-found respect for Mama's long work day and challenging work life.  Sis said, "I'll never think waking up at 7 a.m. for school is early again!"

The next month or so wraps up the year's extracurriculars, for the most part, as well as their time at elementary school.  There will be several special events and middle school orientations.  Plus the school play.  But I'm anxious that it's all coming to an end.  I've really loved their elementary school, especially their teachers, and am nervous about the move to middle school, particularly because most of the kids of my informal moms' network are going to the other middle school.  Which means I sorta start from scratch, just like the kiddos (though, several of the kids in their special class will move on to honors at the middle school; I just don't know those parents as well.)  But we have the summer to get used to the transition.

And I won't even get into all the summer plans . . . .