I can walk.
I can pick stuff off the floor.
I can shop and push the cart.
I can drive all the way to church, 25 minutes.
I can play the piano without wearing my brace briefly.
I can take a bath.
I can get dressed all by myself.
I can unload the dishwasher.
I can wash dishes.
I can cook dinner
I can do the laundry and even fold it.
I can blog.
I can crochet.
I have not had severely debilitating back pain in almost 4 whole years (my major episode was 6 years ago!)
Last Memorial Day 2014 when I had back pain, I still functioned and did things.
My surgery was seven months ago and I am much better.
I know how to cope with pain.
I know how to cope with fear.
I know there will be pain and fear and I am ready.
I can be calm in a crisis.
I can accept that I am not in control.
I have compassion for myself.
I have the tools I need--meds, heat pack, brace, stretches, rest.
I have great support and understanding in Mama and the kids, my parents and my sister.
I have the time and resources to take it easy.
I've survived and thrived:
- On trips to
- ENGLAND! and Cardiff!
- Girl Scout overnight, on the floor, at Old Sturbridge Village!! (this one gets forgotten because it was three days before my emergency)
- Girl Scout overnight, sleeping in a ship's berth at Mystic Seaport (and carrying my gear to the ship and then walking around for hours)
- Disney World (even though EPCOT was hard, I got through it)
- Washington DC
- Houston and environs
- Block Island (twice!)
- our nano-honeymoon in NYC (twice!)
- Experiences such as
- doing my hospice work, sitting at people's bedsides and holding their hands
- lighting a fire and cooking over it
- going swimming
- teaching RE
- taking GS outdoor class Food, Fire, & Fun
- taking archery and becoming certified as an instructor
- passing First Aid and CPR--I can give mouth-to-mouth and use an AED
- riding on parade floats and giving a lecture on costuming in full corseted costume
- giving historic house tours
- sitting and standing for hours at kung fu competition
- sitting at the piano and play "Finlandia"
- learning ASL
- going on retreat by myself for two nights all alone--including sitting at length, creating art, taking yoga
- winning 4 stars on Just Dance, dancing to "Bang, Bang"
- playing basketball with the kids
- playing water basketball with the kids at the Y
- going to long movies
- going to Lion King, Phantom of the Opera, Les Mis, Wicked, Vagina Monologues, Fun Home, Spring Awakening, Matilda
- walking all day at Comic Con (and other long walks--at Trunk or Treat, fairy houses, Mystic, NYC, etc.)
- building fairy houses and nature mandalas
- wandering around museums
- eating in restaurants at night
- walking in the snow
- making snow angels
- going canoeing
- I can do
- unloading the dishwasher
- walking on the treadmill
- sitting on the floor with the cats
- taking a real bath
I did all that. I can do what comes next.