Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: Kale

Mama Teacher is picking up our CSA box while we're away and I've checked the list: you're getting a lot of kale! And so, I give you here my favorite kale recipes, plus a few I'm hoping to try with even more kale (the farm says they have a ton this year!) when I get back.

Notes on kale:

• Look for dark green and crisp-looking leaves, the thinner the stalks, the better.
• Store in the fridge in a plastic bag (or those keep-fresh containers).
• It needs to be fully cooked and this takes awhile, especially if the kale is not young. Best to boil and then saute or braise. Unless you are roasting!
• I'll use kale just about anywhere a recipe calls for cooked greens. In fact, if I get too many, I'll boil them up with a little onion and salt, then put them away in about 2 cups servings in the freezer to throw in any soup. It's been in my minestrone, vegetable soup, lentil soup, whatever.
• My favorite way to eat it is, hands down, Crispy Kale. It's like green potato chips! The recipe below is needlessly complicated--just roast at 400 for about 15-20 minutes, forgetting the last olive oil bath. Though, I haven't tried the Kale and Polenta Pie yet so that could be my new favorite.

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Kale and Polenta Pie

1/2 lb kale, washed, destemmed, and chopped finely

salt

1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 cup instant polenta

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 400.

Bring 3 1/2 cups water to a boil in a large pot. Add kale, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1 tablespoon of the oil to the water. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until kale is tender, about 6 minutes.

Reduce heat to low. Slowly stir in polenta with a wooden spoon until smooth, about 1 minutes. Partially cover and cook until the polenta is thick, about 6 minutes.

Remove pot from heat and stir in cheese. Taste and adjust seasonings, adding more salt if necessary. Grease a 9" round cake pan with remaining 2 teaspoons oil. Scrape polenta-kale mixture into cake pan.

Bake until polenta pie is firm and golden brown, about 20 minutes. Let pie cool until barely warm, at least 30 minutes and up to several hours (it will firm as it cools). Cut into wedges and serve.

Jack Bishop, Vegetables Every Day

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Eggs in a Nest

**It says chard, but I know kale would work and I've seen similar recipes for it elsewhere.

(This recipe makes dinner for a family of four, but can easily be cut in half.)

2 cups uncooked brown rice

Cook rice with 4 cups water in a covered pot while other ingredients are being prepared.

Olive oil – a few tbsp

1 medium onion, chopped, and garlic to taste

Sauté onions and garlic in olive oil in a wide skillet until lightly golden.

Carrots, chopped

½ cup dried tomatoes

Add and sauté for a few more minutes, adding just enough water to rehydrate the tomatoes.

1 really large bunch of chard, coarsely chopped

Mix with other vegetables and cover pan for a few minutes. Uncover, stir well, then use the back of a spoon to make depressions in the cooked leaves, circling the pan like numbers on a clock.

8 eggs

Break an egg into each depression, being careful to keep yolks whole. Cover pan again and allow eggs to poach for 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from heat and serve over rice.

Barbara Kingsolver, with recipes by Camille Kingsolver, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

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Colcannon

4 medium to large all-purpose potatoes, such as
Russet, peeled and cut into chunks
Coarse salt, for boiling water
2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 head dark curly kale, chopped
2 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup whole milk, eyeball it

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg, fresh or grated (I don’t
remember adding nutmeg)

1 teaspoon ground thyme
2 scallions, sliced
A handful of fresh parsley, chopped

Boil potatoes for 15 minutes in salted water. Drain
potatoes and return them to the hot pot and mash.

Heat stock or broth to a simmer. Chop kale tops,
discarding tough stems. Add kale to broth and cover.
Simmer 10 to 12 minutes.

In a large skillet over moderate heat melt butter and
add milk. Season with nutmeg and thyme and add
scallions to the pan. Remove kale from cooking liquid
to the milk and butter mixture using a slotted spoon.
Stir in 1/2 cup of cooking liquid. Add mashed potatoes
to milk and kale and stir until combined and creamy, 1
or 2 minutes. Stir in parsley and season with salt and
pepper, to taste.

(I also made a well on the top and added butter, just
in case you needed more butter ;)

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Cranberry Bean and Kale Soup

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Today's Vegetable Soup

(bearing in mind, it's never the same twice)

1 onion

1-2 teaspoons minced garlic

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

appx. 20 baby carrots, chopped

1 cup frozen corn

1/2 cup frozen peas

2 yukon gold potatoes, cubed

1 turnip, cubed

1-2 cups cooked curly kale

6-8 baby portobello mushrooms, sliced

1 yellow squash, sliced

1 zucchini, sliced

2-3 stalks celery, sliced

2 1/2 boxes of stock (about 10-12 cups stock)

2 teaspoons salt (give or take)

a few shakes of Penzey's seasoned salt

several grinds black pepper

1/2 box rotini pasta

ABSOLUTELY NO TOMATOES OR BEANS OR VISIBLE SEASONINGS LIKE HERBS

Saute onion in olive oil; add garlic and saute until fragrant. Combine remaining ingredients, except pasta, and cook until desired tenderness. Cook pasta separately and allow kids to add their own (this way the pasta doesn't get mushy). I like mine with a bit of grated cheese.

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Crispy Kale

Roasted Kale with Sea Salt

• 4 cups firmly-packed kale
• 2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tsp. good-quality salt

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Cut the stems off the kale and discard; rinse and shake the leaves dry. Stack the leaves and cut them crosswise into strips about 1 inch wide. Put the kale in a big bowl and drizzle with enough olive oil to coat well (about 2 tablespoons). Toss the leaves. Spread the kale on a large rimmed baking sheet and pop it in the oven. Set the bowl aside without washing it.

Roast kale until some of the leaves are tinged with brown, about 7 minutes. Remove baking sheet and stir kale around (tongs are the best tool for this), then put it back in the oven for up to another 5-15 minutes, stirring every five or so, until all the leaves are crisp. Immediately put the leaves back in the bowl you first tossed them in, then drizzle with another tablespoon of oil and a few splashes of vinegar. Toss kale with the tongs, taste, and add more oil, vinegar, or salt as needed. Toss again and serve right away.

Day is (Almost) Done

And it is closing out on a happy note. The kids had a few more breakdowns outside but managed our big playdate this afternoon with aplomb--no fights, no breakdowns, no tears. In fact, Sis especially really played with her friends, while Bud occupied himself merrily with arts and crafts. And the moms got all caught up, something we haven't managed in about a month, between illness, vacation, school activities, and the like. The house is trashed, dinner is made, the kids are taking a tv break, Mama is on her way home (though she will be extra late because the offsite meeting was further away than the office), and I feel like we made it through the day well enough. Friends (and Aunt Banana who called to chat for a good long time) always make it better.

The Flavor Didn't Last

I spoke too soon.

The outdoor utopia ended when lunch was served, late to their reckoning, with Sis still wailing that she hadn't had a snack. The meal--baked chicken, rice, cherries, and grapes--was deemed unacceptable because there was no gravy. This lacuna required tears and anger from both children. My begrudging offers of soy sauce or ketchup did nothing to ameliorate the situation.

Now they are fighting because each is talking and copying the other. A litany of "stop copying me" is going back and forth, like the call and response at church.

It's going to be a long day.

Cure-All

What's the bests cure for children who insist on playing together but fight and argue every second that they do?

Clue: it's not a "time-in" family meeting. Or alone time in their room. Or even a relaxing guided meditation.

It's the outdoors.

Forced kicking and screaming into shoes and socks, they are now extremely happy playing outdoors.

Together.

Buddha and the Broccoli Meditation

Think about broccoli the next time you have some.

Or really, whatever you eat next.

Sit and look at it. Smell it. Touch it. Bite. Chew. How does it taste? Was there cheese sauce? Or soy sauce? Or just seasoned salt? Does it stick in your teeth? How does it feel to swallow it? How is the stem different than the "pillows"?

We practiced mindful eating the other night while we were discussing Buddha. See, the kids were scared to sleep at Ma and Gong's, because all their things weren't there to protect them from monsters (our monsters won't enter their room because of the happy critters, art, music etc). I think it was Mama who suggested that Buddha would protect them at Ma's. How, Sis wanted to know. And so began a discussion of Buddha and how there are stories that he once defeated demons by ignoring them. I told Sis and Bud they each had Buddhanature inside them, as Buddhism teaches; everyone does. Call it the divine spark. Call it spirit. Call it soul or heart or whatever. Christians believe Christ was divine. Muslims think Muhammed was. We're Unitarian Universalists and so believe everyone is, no one more than anyone else.

But how does that relate to vegetables? Mindfulness is an important concept in Buddhism, the idea of being in the present, not worrying about the future or fretting about the past, but also being fully engaged in what you are doing. As one saying goes, "when you wash the rice, wash the rice." The exact opposite of mindfulness would be, say, driving and talking on the phone or having a conversation with someone while watching tv. Buddha's strength came in part from being mindful and so we led the broccoli meditation to give the kids a sense of what we were talking about.

They've had a lot of questions about religion recently, starting with Christ and the Crucifixion at Easter and moving on to the Greek and Roman gods and now Buddhism. So on Saturday we visited a Buddhist temple in Flushing, a small Chinese family association in an elaborate building with two floors of altars. The kids were in awe of the statues and decorations, it being much more elaborate than anything at a UU church, but recognized the table of offerings and folded money from our Chinese New Year celebrations. They copied Ma's actions, mimicking her kneeling and praying. And then had questions about all the imagery, of sword fighters, of Guan Yin (or Kuan Eim in Thai), of the calligraphy.

Later when we were all home, after offering birthday prayers at the family altar, Ma showed the children the different statues and objects on the altar and explained how to pray. First you kneel with your hands together at eye level, then you bend and touch your forehead and palms to the floor. The first time is for Buddha and, if I remember correctly, the second time for his teachings, the third for the monks, the fourth for your parents, the fifth for your teacher. Bud wanted to add a sixth, for whatever he wanted to think happy thoughts about, our immediate family's prayer-like ritual at bedtime.

So, they're learning more about religions . . . but it doesn't make them think that broccoli is divine.

Invasion of the "Body Decorators"

The kids wanted to play salon this morning. Only that's not what they called it. Today they called it "body decoration." But instead of tatoos and piercings, I was slathered in 4 different sweet-smelling lotions, including a lovely rose that they bought me just because and the lavender-scented lotion that we would use on them as babies. And when I say slathered, I mean slathered: thick, blubber-like layers of lotions, kindly warmed by their little hands, but barely rubbed in on my feet, arms, knees, thighs, shoulders, neck, back. So, I'm a little, er, moist, but I smell good. And I look so pretty because there are 2 headbands and 4 clips in my tussled hair. Bud tried to stretch a hairband from ear to ear, over my nose, but I convinced him that my ears couldn't quite bend like he wanted them to. (At least I don't have any make-up and my clothes don't really invite fashionable drapings!). But even though I'm a tad heavily scented and my hair is creative, it all felt good and I'm ready to embrace the day. And isn't that what a salon, I mean, body decoration, should be all about?

Reading Amanda Hesser

I just finished Amanda Hesser's Cooking for Mr. Latte, a memoir-cum-cookbook adapted from the years she dated and then married Mr. Latte. I'm late in reading this, a book that came out years ago, but enjoyed it just the same. Particularly because, with our weekend at the grandparents', I could leisurely read in the middle of the day, full chapters at a time, while the kids played.

And while she records a very food-intense world--she was a food writer at the NYTimes, knew Julia Child, and regularly dines with Jeffrey Steingarten--a world as foreign to me as many of the fancy NY restaurants she visits, I enjoyed vacationing in her NY foodie world, mainly because I just haven't enjoyed cooking recently and most of it has, until the beginning of our CSA last week, been a chore. Maybe that is the nature of trying to cook organic, local, and seasonal in suburban Connecticut as spring warms into summer; maybe it's what happens when the kids just want the same thing over and over; maybe it's what happens after almost a month-long emotional eating binge--perhaps it's a subconscious fast.

Coincidentally, while reading her book, I was also in another food-intense world. Because food is something Ma, Gong, and Goo do well. The birthday weekend started at dim sum in Flushing, with two new favorite dishes for me--sauteed bean leaves and this churro-like dough wrapped in a white noodle and slathered with hoisin sauce. Plus, we enjoyed all our usual favorites, like Sis's love affair with don ton and custard buns, shumai and ha gao and ha chung (noodles with shrimp). Bud discovered and devoured shrimp in several guises. Then we continued to the Chinese grocery, where Sis and Bud stared for an entire half-hour at all the fresh, live seafood, including crab, lobster, fish, eel, turtle, and frogs! (Bud had earlier seen a lobster on a truck and wondered if the lobsters were going to an aquarium; "nope," I said, "dinner!" I don't think he believed me, even when we were standing in the grocery store). We wrapped up our outing at not one but two bakeries.

We then went home and savored the fresh fruits while contemplating what we were going to grill. Soon, Goo and I were side-by-side in the kitchen, goodnaturedly competing to shape the best pizza dough for the grill. This was followed by "chicken on the bone," fried tofu in peanut sauce, stir fried cauliflower with shrimp, sauteed Asian mix (two way, one with soy sauce and garlic; the other with miso), and two birthday cakes. Today, after a morning of oatmeal with fresh fruit and pastries from the bakery, we made our own wontons when we got back from the beach. We ate these with steamed and stir fried vegetables and two kinds of noodles, wide white and thin, long yellow. And I'm betting we won't leave before there is another meal. After the ice cream man comes by.

Sure, it's not the world of Armagnac and arugula, but I think Hesser would appreciate the family's interest and immersion in all things edible. The book, the weekend--it all makes me want to cook again.

(Though, one of the foods I really wanted to try from her book, oatmeal cookies with orange zest, wasn't included as a recipe, even though it was mentioned twice! I guess I'll have to experiment. Though maybe it's Quaker's Vanishing Oatmeal Cookie, a box-label recipe she likes, with zest added).

Happy Birthday!

To you, Gong and Goo!

You're just like twins, except, well, 40 some-odd years apart.

We're looking forward to celebrating with you today, at dim sum, at the beach, in the backyard, with the ice cream truck!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

"Bud, would you like some douche?" Sis asked during bath this evening.

"Yeah, I don't have enough," he replied.

Let's go back a bit.

Sis was at the pediatrician's this week because of her fever. During the visit I mentioned that she hadn't been sleeping, but only because of nightmares (not pain). The doctor wanted to know what nightmares. There have been two: in one, Sis steps on a stick but it's a snake; in the other, she is sprayed by a stinky skunk.

The ped, our favorite Dr. L, latched onto the latter. Her own beloved dogs were once sprayed by a skunk. And, you see, she is Russian, where she says they have no skunks, so she only knew them as cute little creatures, not stinkpots. But she learned, quickly. It was a midnight nature break for the dogs and they came racing back into the house. She didn't know what had happened. So she called animal control . . . and they explained skunks and tomato juice. Except that didn't work.

And so they recommended douche. And it seems to have worked.

Now douche, for Sis, is some special miracle cleaning soap.

Like the bubbles in the tub tonight.

I did actual try to squelch the use of the word, which they pronounce (hysterically) as "dush." But mentioning that it is a word people don't use much because it is a special "vagina cleaner" seems to have given it extra cache instead of an ick factor.

So, if you hear either of them mention that they need some dush, just let it go.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: Escarole

Some notes on escarole:

• Look for bright green escarole with no signs of decay on the outer leaves.
• Store in the fridge in a plastic bag (or those keep-fresh containers).
• I like it best braised or in soup.
• I will also use escarole interchangeably with chard or kale or spinach, when in a cooked dish.
• One of my all-time favorite vegetable dishes, Potato and Greens Soup, features escarole.

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Potato and Greens Soup

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 bunch leeks, thoroughly rinsed and thinly sliced (about 2 cups)
4 1/2 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade (or veg stock)
salt and freshly ground pepper
8 white potatoes (about 3 1/2 lbs), peeled and cut into 3/4 cubes
1 bunch arugula or other bitter greens such as curly endive or escarole, washed

Heat the oil and butter in a large heavy saucepan over low heat. Add the leeks and stir well. Cover and cook until soft, about 5 minutes.

Add stock and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add potatoes and bring back to a simmer. Cook until tender but not mushy, 10 to 15 minutes. Turn off heat.

Ladle about 3 cups of soup into a blender (don't fill more than halfway). Hold the lid on with a dish towel to prevent splattering, and blend until smooth. Return pureed soup to saucepan, stir to combine, and bring back to a simmer. Season to taste.

Stir in greens. Cook for 2-3 minutes, until wilted and bright green, and serve immediately.

Martha Stewart Living

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Escarole and Bean Soup

1/4 lb White beans
5 c vegetable or chicken broth
2 Tablespoons olive oil
2 Tablespoons minced garlic
1 onion, diced
2 c chopped escarole
Salt and pepper -- to taste
croutons, optional

SOAK THE BEANS OVERNIGHT IN WATER. Drain. Place beans in a pot, add broth, cover and cook over medium heat until beans are soft, about 30 minutes. (or use canned white beans if there isn't time to soak and cook...) Meanwhile, place another pot on the stove, add oil, place over medium heat, add garlic and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 7 minutes, or until onions soften. Add the escarole and continue to cook until wilted, another 10 minutes. Add the beans and broth to the pot with the escarole. Add salt and pepper as desired, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Serve hot, with the addition of croutons if desired. serves 8

from our CSA people

Variation: Tomato Escarole and Bean Soup

To the above recipe, add a can of tomatoes (I used crushed; use your favorite) to the garlic and onion when you saute it. Then continue the recipe as described. Be careful if you reheat it--it can turn bitter.

Mommy Hungry

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Garlic Escarole Soup with Rice

1 tablespoon olive oil

3 medium onions, thinly sliced

4 garlic cloves, minced

8 cups stock

1 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 medium head escarole, washed and roughly chopped (about 5 cups)

1/2 cup Arborio rice (I just used pre-cooked white rice, as I had it on hand)

grated Parmesan cheese to taste

Heat oil in large soup pot over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook uncovered for 15-20 minutes, until caramelized. Reduce heat to low, add garlic, and cook for another 5 minutes.

Add stock and bring to a boil. Add the salt and rice and cook for 5 minutes.

Add escarole. Simmer, covered, for about 10 minutes, until rice and escarole are tender. Season to taste with salt. Serve with Parmesan cheese. (We didn't have cheese and so served it with a bit of lemon juice).

Johnna Albi and Catherine Walthers, Greens Glorious Greens! (adapted--they had chicken stock and shredded chicken, too)

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The Real Recipe for Italian Wedding Soup (at least the one we've used before)

1/2 pound extra-lean ground beef
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons dry bread crumbs (or finely crushed cracker crumbs)
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
5 3/4 cups chicken broth
2 cups thinly sliced escarole (or spinach)
1 cup uncooked orzo pasta
1/3 cup finely chopped carrot
2-3 cloves garlic, crushed

In medium bowl, combine meat, egg, bread crumbs, cheese, basil and onion powder; shape into 3/4 inch balls.
In large saucepan, heat broth to boiling; stir in escarole, orzo pasta, chopped carrot and meatballs. Return to boil, then reduce heat to medium. Cook at slow boil for 10 minutes, or until pasta is al dente. Stir frequently to prevent sticking.

allrecipes.com

Like a Fish

Or, well, maybe more like a slow, round, happy (and cute!) manatee . . . .

Yep, I went swimming today!

About 24 hours after the neurologist said that not only were there no lesions on my spinal cord (and btw, that ALS patients don't get lesions and that MS patients get spinal lesions after brain ones, and therefore after symptoms. If we'd only known. And if the ortho hadn't made stuff up.), the discs the ortho said were herniating are so far from anything that they aren't the source of my pain. It's all muscular. Additionally, he said that because I went for close to 40 years with little difficulty with my recently-diagnosed scoliosis that I am not likely to have too much severe trouble down the line. Lastly, he said it was important to strengthen and stretch my back muscles (i.e. continue PT) and to continue to lose weight.

So I went swimming today after consulting with my PT about best practices.

I'm not swimming laps right now. Not total laps anyway. I swim half, walk half, and then do some stretches in the water. Ending the whole thing, just for fun, with floating. And then I'm supposed to take several days off, until next Tuesday, before I try it again.

But I went (at 4 pm today, with the bikini-clad high school girls and, arriving separately, these extremely buff men--I could tell without my glasses, across the pool--maybe off-duty police/firefighters? Is the pool the afternoon hot spot?). And enjoyed it. And was glad to be back.

I'll be even more glad if I can lift my arms in the morning.

Traffic Tales

We were in traffic for about 8 hours yesterday, to Queens, to Midtown, back to Queens, and home. In rush hour 3 of the 4 times. And in rain 3 of the 4 times. Some events of note:

• The morning drive took so long that Bud forgot where we were going! Takes. So. Long. Mama and I laughed til we cried. Which elicited "why are you laughing?" from the backseat with no real explanation from the front.
• Traffic was so slow on the LIE back out to Queens that we saw a pigeon land and sit on the roof of the car in front of us!
• When we stopped on I-95 on the way home so I could run to the restroom, I had a real yearning for Texas . . . and for Buckee's!!!

Closing the Book

In rain and traffic, we got to NYU Medical Center after dropping the kids off at Ma and Gong's. Good news: the neuro couldn't find a thing to worry about in my MRI. And he called my ortho both a jerk and an ass. So all good! We're done with that now.

A special thanks to Ma and Gong for watching the kids all day.

More on the fun parts of the day later.

For Cat Lovers

Though today's post is sad, this glorious blog about three ginger cats (and their friends) in Wales has beautiful photos of the moggies. I can't wati to read backwards through it. "She" in the blog is the illustrator Jackie Morris.

I'm a Loser

It's a good thing I don't gamble: I was wrong about the ear infection. Sis had some kind of virus, went straight to her tonsils. It's on its way out, though she registered a fever this afternoon at the doctor's office. Her attitude rises and falls, which the doctor says was a clue that it probably wasn't an ear, which would have just kept her down. She's perky tonight, though, especially with the lure of making some of those little plastic suncatcher thingies while I make dinner.

But Bud is crying. Goodness, maybe he has the virus now.

In the Paper

Just a few things, several of them poignant:

• Everybody eats rice
• Cookbooks on doing it yourself
• "Stunning" stats on the growing acceptability of "gay and lesbian relations"
• In favor of a classical education--grammar, logic, rhetoric (the Trivium)
• Nurse Brown, in yet another touching post on life on the oncology ward
• Your brain on computers
• Childhood accidents and the rise in risk for the rest of the family
• A rabbi talks on dying and "December" times
• On the inadequacy of language for the death of a child
• And a happy diagnosis for columnist Kristoff

Plus a few more, added late:

• Beware the Big Shaggy!
• When being a foolish doctor is good
• And I can't even read this article on "incidentaloma" when routine medical scans have glitches that cause well people to be ill
• And Dana Jennings on "pushing back at cancer"

Fever Do-Over

Sis is sick again. Fever, lack of appetite, "headaches" (i.e. ear pain), lots of tears.

We're heading to the ped this afternoon.

Shall we take bets?

I'll put it all on ear infection.

Get Well Soon, Pop!

I'm writing this in large letters so you can see--I hope you feel better soon and can put your glasses back on! And we'll send happy vibes that the margins are clean and they will get all the melanoma.

Ordinary Miracles

See, that song is stuck in my head. And, well, it makes a better title than the other songs that made me cry last week, including "Live Like You Were Dying" and "I Run" (Melissa Etheridge's song about breast cancer).

Actually, the former is probably more apropos for this post, which is my "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in the MRI Tunnel" (or doctor's waiting room). Because I had some clarity during the week we awaited the second test results as well as since then.

So here we go, the Top Ten things, big and small, I realized:

10. I want to finish cross-stitching the birth announcements we started for the kids in 2005.

9. And I want to finish crocheting the Christmas stockings for Mama and me.

8. I cared about all the junk I have stashed in the basement and don't want anyone but me to clean it out.

9. I didn't care about the clutter in the rest of the house.

8. Nor did I suddenly desire to go sky diving, Rocky Mountain climbing, or bull riding, to borrow from the song, or really regret that there are lots of places I've never been, things I've never done, things I don't own.

7. Though, I'd like to see London and Rome again. (And just for Mama, Antarctica and the penguins.)

6. I'm glad I'm a stay-at-home-mom and don't regret abandoning my career or academic life at all.

5. I'm quicker to recognize and stop scary "movies in my head."

4. I'm great at crossing bridges before I get there, sometimes 2 or 3 ahead.

3. I'm seeing the miracle in everyday with more clarity.

2. Meditation helps.

1. I am blessed by the friends and family in my life, especially Mama.

(And a bonus: any kind of afterlife didn't concern me as much as "life after" for the people left behind).

My Name is You

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.

--Susan B. Anthony, Unitarian

Today was the last day of RE for us this year, which was memorable in many ways: our director is leaving; I won't be teaching next year; and our kids won't have the same teachers next year.

The RE service always includes all the classes. My class, the Grades 2-4, acted as Greeters, handing out the Orders of Service. They also lit the chalice as I read the quote above, which was intended to embrace the importance of each week's class and not just the big service at the end.

Sis and Bud's class got up to sing a song which the teachers had adapted to their class. Guess which part I like best?! Bud and Sis, who knew the lyrics by heart in practice, were (not surprisingly) shy at the performance and wouldn't do the hand signals or call out their names (hey, at least they stood up there without me; I just sat right in front of them in the front row). You could however see their lips moving to every single word, even if you couldn't hear them (don't fret, Gommie, we taped this too).

"We All Sing With the Same Voice"

by Philip Miller & Sheppard Greene (with adaptations)

My hair is black and brown. My hair is yellow.

My eyes are brown and green and blue.

( Each child calls out his name , whatever order we end up standing in)

My name is YOU.

We live in Stamford, I’m from Westport, We come from Weston and Fairfield.

I live down the street, By the mountains, near the beach.

I come from everywhere, And my name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

Sometimes I get mad and mean. Sometimes I feel happy.

And when I want to cry I do.

When I’m by myself at night, I hold my bunny tight, Until the morning light,

My name is you.

I have sisters one, two, three, In my family’s there’s just me.

I’ve got one mommy. I’ve got two.

My friends live on my street. Our cats walk on furry feet.

We love all our pets. My name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

I like to run and climb. I like to sit and read.

I like to watch my TV too. And when it’s time for bed, I like my stories read, “Sweet dreams” and “ love you” said.

My name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: First Box

I just can't stop eating salad. I've had two a day since Mama and I picked up our first CSA box of the season on Friday. Only, I've realized that I want to make some of my own salad dressings--I don't like the bitter aftertaste of low fat ones and even some of the regular dressings have ingredients that sound like science class. That just doesn't jive with my local, fresh-from-the-farm greens. So I'll be working on my Buttermilk Ranch and also Green Goddess dressings in the coming weeks. Lettuce this good deserves a little something special. Until then, Newman's Own, originating from right here in CT (and we know people who knew him!), will do and is good (but, oh the calories!).

This afternoon, Mama stir fried both the bok choy and the Asian mix we received, mainly thin soy sauce and Maggi, both of which we ate over noodles.

That leaves radishes and turnips, for those salads, and escarole, which I'll put in a white bean soup. And two farm chickens, both about 3 lbs each, one of which they ate yesterday, beer-can chicken style! I'll bake the other one tomorrow, to eat with rice and gravy a la Gommie.

Next week: KALE! One of my favorites . . . .

-=-=-=-=-=-=

Recipes to follow

Beer Can Chicken

White Bean and Escarole Soup

The Strawberry Crawl

Conditions were perfect: the farm report said tons of big, ripe, juicy berries; the weather was the most bearable it would be in days; the fields were dry; it was a school day for almost everyone else but our whole family was together.

So we went strawberry picking.

For a year, Sis has said she'd only eat strawberries that she herself picked and then only right off the bush. Well, yesterday, she ate her weight in big juicy berries and still managed to contribute to our 15 lbs of strawberries.

They really were the most gorgeous berries I've ever picked or eaten, warmed by the midday sun. I would gently lift the huge, almost heart-shaped leaves to reveal bright red surprises, with dozens more pink and green berries ripening for our next visit. And the berries were so ready, broke right off the bush, with a bit of stem, just like they're supposed to. So I crawled on juice-stained red hands and knees (we always wear pants to go fruit picking) along three rows of berries, filling our big baskets. The kids carried their little pints, filling and then emptying their contents, occasionally bringing me or Mama a choice berry, all with similarly red-stained fingers. I couldn't help humming Sarah McLachlan's version of "Ordinary Miracles" to myself.

"It's not that usual

When everything is beautiful

It's just another ordinary miracle today

"The sky knows when its time to snow

You don't need to teach a seed to grow

It's just another ordinary miracle today

"Life is like a gift they say

Wrapped up for you everyday

Open up and find a way

To give some of your own."

Of course, the strawberries are almost gone, just two days later: we ate them plain, with cream, with pancakes, with cereal, dipped in chocolate; I made 6 pints of freezer jam and an adaptation of our favorite Fresh Strawberry Pie. There are just enough left to either make another batch of jam or to freeze to eat later in the year, but I don't think they'll keep much longer unprocessed somehow.

And so we'll go back, with our playgroup friends, or maybe even with Mama depending on how long the season lasts. But I'm not sure anything could match the perfection of yesterday's miracle.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

My Own New Fresh Strawberry Pie

1 1/4 cups graham crackers, crushed

1/3 cup butter, melted

1/4 cup sugar

1-1/2 quarts fresh strawberries
1 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons lemon juice
16 oz sour cream

Make graham cracker crust but combining melted butter and sugar, then stir into crushed graham cracker crumbs until they stay together when pressed. Press into lightly greased pie plate, bake at 375 for 4-5 minutes. Cool. (BH&G recipe)

Cap strawberries; reserve half of the best ones. Mash the other half and add sugar and cornstarch which have been mixed together. Cook 5 or 6 minutes until clear and thick. Stir in lemon juice. Cool. (This takes longer than you expect and is the hardest part).

- Add whole strawberries to the cooled mixture, save some for garnish. Pour into baked pie shell. Top with sour cream and garnish with fresh whole strawberries, if desired.

Mommy Hungry

Heart Felt

As I type, Mama is surrounded by felt "snippies," the "good scissors," open reference books, foam core board, plastic knight figurines, and two enthusiastic children. For three days now, they've all been immersed in their latest felt board project.

We have one poster-board sized light blue felt board which we'd been using to make random pictures with felt shapes we have. And at some point Bud and Mama had an inspiration: felt boards as backdrops for figurines, of which we have, literally, hundreds--knights, farm animals, ocean animals, big cats, forest animals, dinosaurs, spacecraft, elves, Confederate and Union soldiers, etc etc etc. Bud had played with the idea when he drew a castle on a piece of poster board, cut a gate out, and taped the castle-cum-door onto the piano bench so that his knights could go in and out. But he wanted something more permanent and flexible. And Sis wanted something too.

So on Friday after our celebratory lunch, we headed to the arts and crafts store to purchase more felt--blue, dark blue, brown, green--colors for the ocean, the galaxy, dinosaur world, and forests. Mama has made a medieval castle, a Japanese castle, a big red barn, about a dozen little knight figurines, a duck pond, and now a feasting table complete with food. And as she sits and cuts, the kiddos pepper her with more suggestions. We're going to have a whole world made out of felt! (Her scissor skills are quite remarkable and outshine mine.)

And they're all having a wonderful time.

Texas of the North

It's been feeling a lot like home these last few days.

And I don't mean that in a good way.

Yesterday, the heat was in the low 90s, the humidity in the high 80s, making it pretty miserable here in a state not partial to air-conditioning.

And then at 3:45 p.m. almost on the dot, the sky opened up and rained torrents, in a way I haven't seen since Houston. Or New Orleans. Or Disney World. In fact, we matched Houston degree for degree yesterday.

It's similar today, except our 4 p.m. storm is accompanied by a tornado watch, which we're under until after bedtime. (But here in CT, we do have basements to hide in.)

Thank heavens lil' ol' Texan me insisted on central AC in our house!

But it doesn't really make me long for home (or at least the weather, which we'll meet head on in a few weeks).

At least, as I understand it, CT goes back to its more seasonal 75ish for the week. This storm today is apparently a "cold front." Got any of those right now, Houston?

Omegas and Alphas

It was a week of endings and beginnings over here, with both the end of preschool and the beginning of our connection to kindergarten. Which means high emotions for everyone.

Except the kids don't seem to get it. We left school on Friday, trying to keep the last day of preschool low-key, even though Mama was with us for drop-off and pick-up, and the kids went home . . . . to make things for their friends for when they said goodbye later! We tried to gently remind them that they'd said goodbye--which they seemed to realize at the time because they did actually say goodbye to teachers and friends--and marked the uniqueness of the day by having COOKIES for snack--but, well, they're not quite 5 and maybe didn't have the full grasp of the situation.

We let it drop. Mainly because each time we thought about it, we got choked up. Yes, we. Mama, who is not a freestyle crier like I am, did get teary as the kids hugged their teachers goodbye. Of course, as you know, I'd started at the beginning of the week but really did go to boo-hooing when I saw the preschool daily updates which I keep on our chalkboard so Mama could see them when she got home. And it hit me--more than packing their last snack, or writing their last note for this school--that we wouldn't be getting anymore of those photocopied summaries of the day's events. All of which I've kept for two years. Such wonderful things there--visits from firefighters, the zoo, the seaport, the Tooth Fairy, and parents with interests in deep-sea fishing, puppets, Chinese New Year; special birthday celebrations for each child; releasing butterflies and growing beans and harvesting pumpkins; hosting Thanksgiving lunch and Mother's Day tea; plus the "ordinary miracles" of paint and playdough, dress-up and blocks, songs and books, magnets and magnifying glasses, the Pledge and the weather.

Of course, the most important component was only hinted at in the notes: the fabulous, dedicated teachers, who every day didn't just put up with 14 preschoolers but encouraged, guided, supported, and inspired them. And then told me funny or endearing stories about it all at pick-up time. There was the gardener, who would get the children to help her water the school's plants and send them home with growing seeds and spider plant clippings; it was she who Bud sought out almost everyday to create works of art and she who came up with ingenious solutions to his creative problems (like how to make paper plate masks stay on his head--all 13 of them!). There was the artist, who organized and oversaw all the fun activities in the art kitchen, the first place Sis would head almost every morning; this was also the teacher, as I understand it, who read with them everyday. There was the musician, who played all the school's songs on the piano and who sang with them often; I think she is also the one . Lastly, there was Madam Director, whom I cannot easily compress into a few short sentences, and so I will just say that she was their favorite. Even today Sis asked if I could contact her and invite her over to play and I was to tell her that Sis would bake her a chocolate cake (a mutual love of theirs).

But they haven't just been the kids' teachers; they've been mine, too. It's like being born-again academically--I've just started over again in preschool with a clean slate and have to learn my role and follow the rules and figure it all out. Not just parenting a child in school (when do you send hats and gloves? was my healthy snack healthy enough? how many visits are too many?) and being part of a school community (learning all the kids' names, trying to help out on the parents committee, participating in fundraisers), but even just parenting a child in general (like, what should I do about anger? or, how do you handle monsters at night?). And so they answered all sorts of questions, gave suggestions, encouraged, and praised. (And overlooked my parenting shortcomings: unwashed hair, uncut fingernails, breakfast in the car, forgotten mittens, stained t-shirts, backwards clothes, shoes on the wrong feet). I feel like it was my school, in a way, as much as it was Sis and Bud's. There are a few things I wish I'd done better (namely, gotten to know the other parents better and figured out what to do with all the art that comes home), but I guess I can work on that next year.

Sigh, next year. In kindergarten. In a big school that isn't going to send home a daily update. In a school where the ratio is 1:20 not 1:3ish. In a big school where there will be no one to help open snack containers or read notes. Or to tell me what's going on everyday when I show up. That's not to say we don't like our new school (yes, "our": I'm a SAHM, folks, their school is my school--I'll be volunteering there in some capacity for the next 7 years. And I'm probably more of a helicopter parent than I choose to admit). In fact it is our first choice. And visitation last week went well. The principal and staff were enthusiastic; the orientation flowed smoothly, even when the kids left us to go play and hear a story (we sent them in the same group; no sense creating agita in advance--you can't practice being separated). There was a lot of talk about standards and goals and assessments, about reading and homework journals and skipping recess, that all sounded way too much like No Child Left Behind. And not at all like the fun I had in kindergarten. But then kindergarten is the new first grade and the stress is on phonemic awareness and such. Yes, I did learn a lot of buzz words--"responsive classroom" discipline, "tier 3 words," "Pillars of Learning," yada yada yada (thanks for keying me in, Mama Teacher! I'm going to need you next year). Not at all as much fun as art and music and P.E., which of course they'll also have each week (during "specials"). (And I did have a minor panic about their being "behind" in writing in upper and lower case letters, much less that they aren't close to reading. But isn't that why they're going to kindergarten?) We ended the visit by introducing ourselves to everyone (yes, I'm the suck-up parent. It worked for 20+ years in school, why stop now??? And is it really sucking up if I'm sincere?) and buying some spirit gear to get them excited about their new school. We took one picture by the school sign and left.

The kids spoke exuberantly for awhile about the blocks and the story and the drawings they made, and then Bud became upset. "I didn't make any new friends," he worried. "I won't know anyone at my new school." And all Sis could add was "it's bigger than I thought it would be." Reassurances went nowhere. And I'm sure I sounded overly perky about it as I tried hard to assuage (that's a tier 3 word there, folks) their fears. I guess we're going to need this summer to break the bonds with the old school and to prepare to form new ones with the new school. All of us.

But we'd still love to have you come over for chocolate cake, Madam Director.

There's No Accounting For Taste

Bananas? No.

Potatoes? Nope.

Beans? No way.

Octopus? Yummy!

Bud ate his way through a sushi tasting today, actually at Sis's encouragement (though she didn't get quite as far), during our celebratory Japanese lunch (and I can't yet bring myself to write either about our kindergarten visitation or last day of our beloved preschool). And he loved it! The vinegary rice, the nori wrap, the shrimp, the fake crab, the octopus--everything but the last piece, which had teensy orange fish roe. Maybe next time. Especially because he wants to do try it again soon.

Is there bean sushi?

In the Paper PLUS

From the NYTimes:

• Read more about happiness and age: "In measuring immediate well-being — yesterday’s emotional state — the researchers found that stress declines from age 22 onward, reaching its lowest point at 85. Worry stays fairly steady until 50, then sharply drops off. Anger decreases steadily from 18 on, and sadness rises to a peak at 50, declines to 73, then rises slightly again to 85. Enjoyment and happiness have similar curves: they both decrease gradually until we hit 50, rise steadily for the next 25 years, and then decline very slightly at the end, but they never again reach the low point of our early 50s." So, those of you in various places on the age continuum, is it true?
• Of pets and partners: "Do you greet each other with excitement, overlook each other’s flaws and easily forgive bad behavior? If it’s your pet, the answer is probably yes. But your spouse? Probably not." For the whole article, see here.

PLUS other interesting reads:

• HuffPost on the good of meditation, plus three myths (not your typical place to read about meditation, but maybe that's what makes it interesting for newbies).
• Another post on three, here the three teachings of Karen Maezen Miller's teacher--I found these particularly striking as I sat in the doctor's waiting room for 1 1/2 hours, thinking a lot about life, time, self.

Happy Graduation, All!

From my own kiddos to their beloved Babysitter (from high school) and Uncle (his MS), there are lots of graduates this year. And so I post a link to what I thought was a great summary of great commencement speeches: Lisa Belkin's Motherlode. Reading through the various speeches makes me want to write my own commemorative letter to the kiddos, on this their first academic milestone (or second, if you count starting preschool). So, perhaps over the next few days, I'll compose my own version of "Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." (And then I have been thinking of "Everything I, the Parent, Learned in Preschool!")

Until then, read, enjoy, and celebrate!

Caught Like a Fish

"But, Mommy, fish is a meat," Sis reminded me as I ordered the #4 combo with crispy fish. Oooh, caught.

Yes, I have a confession: I've eaten fish three times this month, all of the fried variety. It's not that I'm one of those vegetarians who eats fish (and is therefore not a vegetarian, except, apparently in Asia, where "meat" means beef, poultry, pork, as I understand it, leaving seafood okay to eat). I'm a lapsed vegetarian. Having cravings.

But the cravings aren't for meat, per se, but for salt. Nothing matches the salty crunchiness (or probably fat) of something like a fish sandwich (though, what I really want is a chicken tender, but I just can't do it). Even a french fry (yes, I tried those. With the fish sandwich). Yeah, sure, I generally crave sugar and chocolate when I want comfort, but during this month of back pain and MRI uncertainty, I wanted something . . . more. Maybe something like the meals of my childhood, sans the beef and chicken, which only leaves fried fish. Which is why, despite my political issues with Cracker Barrel's history of discriminatory employment practices (no GLBT--and it's legal!), I had the best meal with the family there earlier this week: biscuits, fried fish, pinto beans, hashbrown casserole, greens, sweet tea, and Double Fudge Coca Cola Cake, which reminded me of birthday cake. I was all-smiles the rest of the day (and didn't eat again, either).

Anyway, I think I've gotten it out of my system, which is good because I'm back on my healthy lifestyle after this stress-related lapse. I don't feel guilty about it. Maybe only sorry that I had a witness.

I guess now I have even more.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Double Fudge Coca-Cola Cake

(from Ask Yahoo)

1 cup Coca-cola
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup (1 stick) margarine
3 Tbsp cocoa
2 cup sugar
2 cup flour
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vanilla


In a saucepan, bring Coca-Cola, oil, margarine and cocoa to a boil; mix
the sugar, flour and salt, Pour in the boiling liquid and beat well. Add
the eggs, buttermilk, soda and vanilla and beat well. Pour into a greased
and floured sheet cake pan and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.


Frosting:
1/4 lb. margarine
3 Tbsp cocoa
6 Tbsp cream or milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup pecans chopped
1 lb. confectioners' sugar


In a saucepan, combine butter, cocoa and milk and heat until the butter
melts. Beat in the remaining ingredients, and spread on the hot cake. Cool
and cut.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: A New Beginning

Tomorrow starts our second year of CSA (community-supported agriculture) adventures! And I am so excited! In fact, I've just been perusing my recent copy of Saveur, which is devoted to food markets around the world. Okay, so we have nothing like those of Bangkok or Paris here, but we can get a great big box of fresh produce once a week. (This week: lettuce, bok choy, radishes, salad turnips, scallions, Asian mix, escarole, basil, plus basil, chive, and parsley plants! Next week, kale, kohlrabi, garlic scapes, eggs, and collards!)

And so this year, I will continue my updates on what we receive and how I cook it, with one major exception: I'm hoping to feature recipes by ingredient, i.e. a post about kale or escarole or garlic scapes or the ubiquitous zucchini (which I'm also growing!). I've been gathering vegetable cookbooks all winter (like some people peruse garden catalogs) and have many new ideas (and even more cookbooks to locate!).

Between our farm box and my new breadmaking skills, plus Mama's burgeoning grill obsession, we're going to be eating pretty well this summer. Stay tuned . . . .

WHOOPEE!!!!

Before

Regular school day. Gifts for teachers. Grandparents arrive! Haircuts. Lunch. Swimming. Squirting. Playing dinosaur chase. Baths and hairwashing. Favorite pink dress. Pants and white shirt. Dinner. Requisite tension and breakdown (me). Traditional Chinese gift of gold--necklaces from Thailand. Pictures. And more pictures.

During

There was pomp and circumstance. And "Pomp and Circumstance." The Pledge of Allegiance and "God Bless America." And even more singing, including "the silliest song in the world" and "You've got a Friend in Me." Diplomas. Hugs and kisses. Flowers and thank yous. Tears and tissues. Family, friends, teachers. Video cameras. Photographs.

After

Posing for pictures together. And with teachers. Silhouettes to take home. Graduation plates and napkins. Punch. Strawberries and watermelon. Flower petit fours. Carrots and dip. And Whoopie Pies . . . .

Happy Graduation, Sis and Bud!

-=-=-=-=-=-

Classic Chocolate Whoopie

1 2/3 cup flour

2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature

4 tablespoons vegetable shortening

1 cup dark brown sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup milk

Position rack in center of the oven and preheat the oven to 375F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together the flour, cocoa, soda, and salt onto a sheet of waxed paper. In the work bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together buttter, shortening, and brown sugar on low speed until just combined. Increase the speed to medium and beat until fluffy and smooth about 3 minutes. Add the egg and vanilla and beat for another 2 minutes.

Add half the flour mixture and half of the milk to the batter and beat on low until just incorporated. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the remaining flour mixture and 1/2 cup milk and beat until completely combined.

Using a spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon batter onto one of the prepared cookie sheets and repeat, spacing them at least 2" apart. Bake one sheet at a time for about 10 minutes each or until the pies spring back when pressed gently. Remove from the oven and let the cakes cool on the sheet for about 5 minutes before transferring them to a rack to cool completely.

Makes 48 two-inch cakes

Chocolate Buttercream

1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar

1/2 cup cocoa

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature

3 tablespoons heavy whipping cream

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon salt

In the work bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the confectioner's sugar, cocoa, and butter, starting on low and increasing to medium speed until the mixture is crumbly, about 1 minute. Add the heavy cream, vanilla, and salt and beat on high until smooth, about 3 minutes.

Vanilla Whoopie

2 1/4 cups flour

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1//2 teaspoon salt

4 tablespooons unsalted butter, at room temperature

4 tablespoons vegetable shortening

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 large eggs

1/2 cup buttermilk

2 tablespoons milk

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon white vinegar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Position rack in center of the oven and preheat the oven to 375F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Sift together the flour, powder, and salt onto a sheet of waxed paper. In the work bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together butter, shortening, and both sugars on low speed until light and creamy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs and buttermilk and beat until combined.

In a measuring cup, combine the milk, soda, and vinegar. Add the milk mixture to the batter along with the flour mixture and beat on low until just combined. Add the vanilla nad beat on medium for about 2 minutes until completely combined.

Using a spoon, drop about 1 tablespoon batter onto one of the prepared cookie sheets and repeat, spacing them at least 2" apart. Bake one sheet at a time for about 10 minutes each or until the cakes begin to brown. Remove from the oven and let the cakes cool on the sheet for about 5 minutes before transferring them to a rack to cool completely.

Classic Marshmallow

1 1/2 cups Marshmallow Fluff (or other marshmallow cream)

1 1/4 cups vegetable shortening

1 cup confectioner's sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

(plus 1/4-1/3 cup strawberry jam, optional)

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the Marshmallow Fluff and the vegetable shortening, starting on low and incresaing to medium speed until the mixture is smooth and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Reduce mixer speed to low, add the confectioner's sugar and the vanilla, and beat until incorporated. Increase mixer speed to medium and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes more. Mix in jam.

Cat-egories

Apparently, according to the kiddos, there are two kinds of cats: follow-the-rules cats and not-follow-the-rules cats.

Right now, our cats are in the latter category, namely because they a). eat no food items like plastic bags, tissue paper, and tape and b). try to get in places they shouldn't go (like the bathroom cabinet, basement storage area, and outside).

Our previous cat, Morgan, was definitely one of the former. Mainly because he napped or sat in laps or ate most of the day. Not a bad life. Bud, who I'd told about my childhood cat Hopalong Cassidy, remembered and said she wasn't a rules-cat, mainly because she went out into the street (where she was killed).

Finally, this morning, Sis proudly announced that she was a follow-the-rules girl. Definitely true. And she likes everyone around her to follow the rules, too. If you don't, you're gonna hear about it. Or I am.

If only our cats were as smart as Sis!

Oasis in the Desert

You would've thought they'd died and gone to heaven: we were at the toy store!

Our regular store ran out of backyard pools and so we ventured to the toy megastore, where we almost never go. For good reason. Everyone gets a bad case of what the Bearnstain Bears call the "gimmies."

They know very well that their birthday is fast upon us and that they get presents. And even though we tried to concentrate just on the backyard pool, we do all get swept up in the fun of a toy store.

What surprised me most was how obsessed Sis is by Toy Story. Sure, they're singing a song from the first film tonight at graduation. Sure, she saw that movie on Sunday while she was recovering from throwing up. And quickly, it has become a thing. She saw the Toy Story movie display and just had to have the Buzz Lightyear toy. I'm not sure either kiddo has ever quite been this obsessed with popular culture while it was currently popular. Okay, "Handy Mandy" or "Dora" or "Imagination Movers," but I guess this is the first non-preschool thing, the first thing geared to the general child population. And this stuff is everywhere because the third movie is coming out.

Bud, on the other hand, who wouldn't even watch the movie with Sis, is much more interested in knights. He found the Schleich display and wanted it all: knights on foot, knights on horses, elves, tents, castles. On the same theme, he found Lego knights and a Playmobil sword and shield. Sis likes Playmobil, too, (you've created a monster, Aunt Banana!) and asked me more than once if I would remember which ones she liked. And which telescope she liked (the pink one!) And then she saw the Critter Cottage display, basically a dollhouse and dollhouse sets for cute little animals, like bunnies.

And Mama was right there with them both. Literally. Because she was using her new phone to scan the UPC codes to make a virtual birthday list!!! Next thing, I'll be getting Powerpoint Christmas lists! But it was easier than trying to remember all of the things.

I let them buy one thing each--Bud got a knight on horseback, Sis chose a back of Critter bunnies (which enclosed booklet she spent all of lunch drooling over)--in honor of . . . well, choose your favorite--Gommie's birthday (I remember, years ago, Aunt J taking me to the store to get things for Bammie's--last?--birthday and I got to choose a party favor for myself, in this case, pretend make-up with a little plastic purse), preschool graduation, general bribery, just because . . . .

It actually was a fun trip. And we did get the pool. But I think we only need to go once every six months or so . . . maybe again just in time for Christmas. We'll be like camels, only needing to refuel at the oasis after a long time.

Let's Get the Party Started

Yes, picture me dancing to Pink.

(And yes, I really was listening to it a bit ago. Then Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" (unedited!). It's my no-kids-in-the-house/loud-music-dance-a-thon! Now "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Yes, my tastes are outdated and decidedly popular).

For today is GRADUATION! And we're all ready.

Especially after this last week, I'm so happy to be able to celebrate this transition, this new beginning, this milestone.

I'm not sure when preschool graduation became a big deal. I don't remember it at all--Gommie, did I "graduate?" While we're marking the occasion with Ma and Gong, dinner out, and probably ice cream, there are no new clothes or gifts. Though, there will be tears, no doubt.

Which is okay, because the kids have been prepared. Apparently, one of the teachers pretended to be an hysterically weeping mom, "Oh, my baby! You're so big! I'm so proud! I love you!" kiss-kiss-hug-hug-sob. The other teachers told them that moms will cry, not because they're sad but because they are happy and proud. And weird. That's the word. Silly. So, my kids have been asking if I'm going to cry--yes--and if it's a sad cry (like for the death of our cat Morgan or when Gommie goes home) or a happy cry. It's happy, of course, though maybe a bit sad, but there's no sense confusing them. I think they think I'm a bit touched, already--does that explain why they don't listen sometimes? Maybe.

Anyway, we spent yesterday afternoon making desserts for the reception after the ceremony--chocolate-chocolate and vanilla-strawberry cream Whoopie pies, my first and successful attempt (mmm, they taste like inside-out cake. Thanks for the tips, Mama Teacher!)--Sis was so helpful and enjoyed licking the bowl first (once that's done, she's done). Bud was in the basement, "changing his square," which means rotating out the big toyscape he's set up (dinosaurs or knights right now; a square because they each have a specifically demarcated space). They also painted cardstock bookmarks, splatter-style, to put in the books we got for each teacher. This morning, Sis helped me bag them and choose color-coordinated tissue paper.

We delivered those today so as not to get caught in the hubbub of the last day (and maybe to downsize THE LAST DAY somewhat). They were so proud and happy to deliver their presents, having chosen the books themselves (chocolate, gardening, music, and art for each of the subjects they associate with those particular teachers), though I did enclose the gift receipt in the cards that made me cry to write. The teachers oohed and aahed, which was sweet, and so I left them at school, to run errands, come home to clean, to rest, to blog.

And all that's left to do is enjoy the day.

And cry.

The happy cry.

Good News

The news is good: the second MRI w/contrast showed nothing, no odd spots on my spinal cord, which means the first MRI was probably just a technological abnormality. We are relieved and thankful, particularly for all of your prayers, good vibes, emails, calls, assistance, etc. We'll follow up with the neurologist in NYC next week, if only for a second opinion to confirm that the second MRI is the "right" one.

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster, but I feel blessed to have you all at the amusement park with me (though, I much prefer the carousel!!).

I'll post more later on some things I've learned about myself and some goals and plans I've made. But before that,I have preschool graduation (and the dessert I need to make), a meal for a mourning friend, and our kindergarten visit . . . because life goes on, no matter what. Even if I'm now thinking of it completely differently.

Happy Birthday, Gommie!

We love you very much! And will celebrate in style when we're in Texas in 17 days!!!!!