Neighboring Faiths

Today, we wrapped up a year of our Unitarian Universalist Neighboring Faiths curriculum which seeks to introduce UU kids to the religious beliefs of their neighbors. In our case this year, this included Judaism, Catholicism, Protestantism (Presbyterians, specifically), Hinduism (with smaller discussions of Sikkhism and Buddhism), AME (African Methodist Episcopal, an American black Christian church), nature-based paganism, humanism, a review of UU, and Quakers.  We had class activities about different faiths, visiting speakers, field trips, and time for reflection.  It was an astounding year and I was so glad to teach it with three other co-teachers.  

I think I liked the Jewish, Islam, Hindu, and AME field trips the most, probably because they were least familiar to me.  And I liked our Muslim speaker most.  The kids least liked the Catholic and Presbyterian services--"too much Bible reading!"

Judaism (field trip):

• historic Torah--Survivors' Scroll for Bar and Bat Bitzvahs was 450 years old, surviving Holocaust in Czechoslavakia
• Ark by Ben Shahn; kids fascinated by Ark (where Torah scrolls are kept)
• MLK dedicated building in 1961
• story of the Menorah hand carved by student
• righteous and most righteous at the time, story of Noah and Abraham, who argued with God in name of justice
• in class, kids learned about Torah (first 5 books of the Hebrew scriptures) and Talmud (commentary); important prophets include Abraham, David, Solomon; minyan, or minimum number for service; kashrut (kosher laws) about pork and shellfish; yarmulke, tfflin; menorah as symbol of Judaism (not just Star of David); various holidays (Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, Sukkot, which was occurring when we visited); differences between Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform, especially as relates to women; a bit of the history of the Jewish diaspora across Europe and into the US; 

Catholicism (field trip):

• 8 altar boys
• 2 priests, a deacon, 2 lay ministers
• beautiful 19th-century Gothic Revival church
• lots of incense!
• Wise and Foolish Virgins--all well and good but you must convert and believe now!
• NO girls as altar servers because they can't become priests
• in class, kids had discussed rosary, Trinity, 7 sacraments (Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Reconciliation, Sacrament of the Sick, Marriage, Holy Orders)
• symbol: Crucifix

Presbyterianism (field trip):

• rainbow flag, refugee help, homeless shelter program
• focus on social action, justice, equality
• in-depth textual analysis of Nathaniel story, being known to God and knowing God--answering God's call "come and see"
• beautiful building--recycled telephone poles
• minister saw her stole as the yolk of Christ
• in class, kids heard about Martin Luther and Calvin; economic, political and religious focus of Reformation; stress on individual relationship with God, not through priest or Church; scriptural basis (Catholic church based on scripture AND tradition)
• symbol: cross

Islam (speaker and field trip):

• Belief in God/Allah; Prophets; The Unseen (angels, devils, etc)
• Islam is the religion; Muslim is the follower
• Five Pillars--belief, prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimmage
• song about the months--Ramadan is holiest month
• Hijab--modesty; covers all but her face and hands; others don't wear headscarves and some wear niqab over entire face, also abaya/robe over close for some (see here); men were kufi/hats
• fasting--also about refraining from sin, not just food
• Prayer--ritual washing, prayer to Allah, bow, prayer to Allah, kneel, "Praise to God" x 3, and repeat from second prayer to Allah--5 times a day facing Mecca
• Hajj--pilgrimmage to Mecca in 12th month; ideally once in lifetime
• Koran--learn/memorize in Arabic, also many translations; Hafiz is person who memorizes it fully
• Service--same prayers for men and women but sit separately; long sermon, short prayer, over in about an hour.
• Bean pie!  African-American Muslim traditional food
• symbol: crescent

Hinduism (field trip):

• The four faces of Brahma, and the three main deities Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva
• The oneness and multifaceted aspects of God (which are either believed to really exist or to be symbols of life, nature, etc.)
• Rama and his story in the Ramayana; Baghavad Gita; Vedas; Upanishads
• Krishna and his incarnations when life on earth is out of balance between good and bad
• Elephant-headed god Ganesh; 
• pooja, the ritual offerings; 
• the animal spirits associated with the gods (and so there are many vegetarians); 
• samsara, or the wheel of suffering; 
• reincarnation; 
• karma, which is not some kind of universal scale of justice, but is more about the sum total of your actions (I've heard it described as intention)--so not "karma is a bitch";
• At the temple, we chanted OM , and other chants (shanti, shanti, shanti), plus two cycles of yoga forms (essentially what we would call salutation of the sun, downward facing dog, and others, called the Surya Namaskara);
• laddu, a sweet yellow ball with (usually) chickpea flour, ghee, sugar, nuts (almonds or pistachios), cardamom, and this one had raisins
• symbols: OM, 

Sikkhism:

• Punjabi religion founded in 15th century, not to be confused with Islam or Hinduism
• The 5Ks of Sikkhism--Kesh (uncut long hair); Kangha (small wooden comb); Kara (steel bracelet); Kachera (a type of undergarments); Kirpan (sword or knife); the Kangha and Kirpan are sometimes worn as little amulets in the turban.
• The ten Gurus
• One Creator, social justice, selfless service--they will feed anyone who comes to the temple and often deliver meals in times of crisis

Buddhism:

• Siddhartha Gautama:  mom dies when he is born; prophecy about becoming powerful warrior or influential guru; hidden from illness, aging, and death; studies to be an aesthete; Enlightenment--"all beings and I awake."
• The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path ("Middle Way")
• Three refuges:  Buddha, dharma, sangha
• karma, nirvana (enlightenment), samsara (wheel of suffering), bodhisattvas
• meditation
• Theravada--focus on Middle Way and nirvana, divided into samatha ("calm") and vipassana ("insight"); Mahayana ("great vehicle")--Pure Land and Zen, focuses on bodhisattvas; Vajrayana--Tibetan
• originally an oral tradition so no main text like the Bible or Quaran.  Sutras gathered in nikayas, which are part of the tripitakas ("three baskets," the Pali Canon)
• symbols: lotus, wheel, Buddha (elongated ears, wheels on hands, top knot of wisdom)

AME (field trip):

• African Methodist Episcopal (AME) founded when racism experienced in Methodist church in Philadelphia
• Church we visited formed by ex-slaves is 1818 and is second-oldest AME church in the world;
• Booker T Washington once spoke here;
• near a lookout spot for the Underground Railroad;
• focus on personal/experiential preaching, blending of music and spoken word, physical response to worship (hands raised, dance, movement in the aisles);
• very loud music--one song lasted 15+ minutes ("Way Maker" and "It Could Have Been Me")
• very traditional Apostles' Creed
• Matthew 21:2--about being tied up (by challenges) and let loose by God--what challenges you makes you worthy to be called.
• altar call, with one person saved
• offertory conducted by everyone filing past the box up front
• some women in gorgeous hats

Nature-based/Pagan (speaker):

• This is the only class topic that I totally missed because we had just gotten back from Italy.
• An email describing the class:  "I opened with brief overview of earth-centered religions, and the kids were pretty astute about why we see the earth as a "mother" and why this would be worthy of worship.  "Earth is a Mother" served as a good chalice lighting; 4 kids read a stanza each, and then I re-read it and we discussed its symbols.  They identified directions, we read "The Four Directions" while turning appropriately each way - and teacher drove home the point about how out of touch we are in so much of our lives with where we are on the earth.  She also spoke to the 7th UU principle, and the 6th source.  We used the photos and teacher had photos from the May Day celebration she attends each year, we discussed paganism, Wiccan, why there might be a focus in this domain on the moon rather than on the sun (tides, women's cycles tied to lunar cycles).  She talked about her experiences with shamanism, including sharing Tarot cards and some other practice elements.  We spent a few minutes outside, came back to the room, made a circle and shared thoughts and blew out the chalice."
• Later, I told the kids about the 8 sabbats and the Law of Three, the individual practice, folklore as a sacred source.
• symbol:  pentagram

Quaker (speaker):

• Did a silent meditation and encouraged students to share when they felt called to, a la a Quaker meeting;
• Watched two videos about Quakerism, including "What does George Fox Say?" (based on the hit song);
• Speaker compared Quaker meditation, where you ask for insight and listen for the "still, small voice," to Buddhist meditation, where you do not focus on a question or a thought.
• Speaker liked the very long silences
• liberal religious tradition but still very Christian

Our Palm Sunday

Yesterday, for Palm Sunday, our RE class attended service at an AME (African Methodist Episcopal) church nearby (AME is a predominantly African-American Protestant church; it broke off from traditional Methodism because of racism and discrimination.)  And the kids didn't know what to do with themselves!

I had attended an AME service during college, as part of a religion-in-America class and so I knew it would be a long service, with a fluidity between song and sermon and lots of tangible worship.  By this I mean obvious physical and verbal means of praise--clapping, standing, dancing, raising hands in the air, calling out "amen" and the like.  This is the part the kids were unsure of.  As UUs, we don't tend to praise or worship anything--as there are as many concepts (or not) of the divine as there are congregants--much less make noise or move during service, unless it's a particularly rousing hymn (and then, really, it's only some of our more extroverted members.)  So to praise God, call out worship of Jesus, raise hands, stand up when moved was new.  Such organized UU kids--they were disturbed that they couldn't even figure out where we were in the order of service because of the fluidity between music and sermon.  They seemed uncomfortable with the emotional and passionate style, quite opposed to our UU intellectual and reflective services.  But I liked it.  Whether you call it holy or divine, or not, there was clearly a spirit in that church.  A community coming together in joy.  For some parts of it, I could just allow myself to be moved by that spirit, instead of analyzing what was happening.

But of course I did observe and analyze.  I had told the kiddos that people would be dressed up more than at our church (and so I wouldn't let them wear t-shirts) and, though there were some who were not, there were a few rows of older church ladies in hats with fans; most of the men were in suits.  I noticed the various oratorical methods (and here) used to engage the congregation--pauses, repetition, call and response, experiential preaching.  There was even that noticeable expulsion of breath after some words and phrases--the appending of "ah" such as "Jesus-ah"--when the preacher became really impassioned.  I pointed out to Sis and Bud next to me that this was the black preaching style that Martin Luther King, Jr came out of and then influenced.  I could also see the clear connections between the Gospel music and more secular pop, particularly when one of the deacons sang "Way Maker," interspersed with his own words and stories.  I think that song went on for 15+ minutes and couldn't even just be called a song--it was more of an interactive experience.  (Same with "It Could've Been Me.")  It reminded me of line singing, with the next verse called out, a tradition leftover from a time of greater illiteracy and a lack of hymnals (though, actual line singing is a more sorrowful tradition from white Appalachian churches.) There was also a guest musician, Alaina Rose, who is launching and sang a beautiful song and had the church's full support.

As for the message, the service, "ministry of words" I think it was called in the bulletin, it was nothing like the slow, word-for-word exegesis of the Presbyterians we visited. (The only part that felt like other Christian services was the recitation of the Apostle's Creed.)  There was a guest "shepherd of the house," Rev. Figueroa, who apologized for not focusing on the Word, so caught up in the Spirit was he.  He said sometimes you need to praise with your feet--and he began to dance.  The scripture of the day was Mathew 21:2, when Jesus told two disciples to go fetch a donkey that was tied up and bring him forth to be used; and if anyone were to ask them what they were doing, they were doing His work.  Now, I would never have thought you could do a whole sermon on the phrase about "untie and let loose" but he did.  The "tied up" part was the issues and difficulties all people have (he mentioned poverty, illness, drugs, the ghetto, he said, drawing from the song, "It's not just that it could've been me.  It should've been me.")   He preached that it's these issues that make you worthy to be chosen to do God's work.  And so he encouraged the tied-up congregation to let loose.  And oh what praise there was.  In fact, he kept saying the crowd had him worked up and he wasn't going to end on time for the next service (which he barely did!)

So much was unfamiliar to our kids, beginning with the palm fronds passed out.  They weren't even sure what Palm Sunday was, much less the tradition of the palms. I tried to whisper info to them throughout the whole service.  Another unfamiliar part to UUs was the altar call, when certain people feel the call to be saved and go to the front of the church.  One young man did this and was welcomed by several deacons.  UUs don't convert like that--they attend a newcomer's class and might sign the membership book during service. The offertory was at least recognizable by the kids--except that the whole congregation rises and circulates to deposit their envelopes in a basket up front.

When we spoke to the pastor afterwards, the kids had questions—typical UU questions about history.  How old was the building?  How old was that pipe organ?  They learned that this congregation was founded by ex-slaves in 1818; it's the second-oldest AME church in the world.  Booker T Washington once spoke from pulpit.  The current location is not far from a spot believed to be a lookout for the Underground Railroad.    I asked the pastor what he would have the kids take away about his faith and his church.  He said that even with a rich history, we must always look ahead. 

My kids were exhausted by the whole experience and didn't have much to say about it on the way home.  Which was the exact opposite of me--I had been touched by the worship and wanted to discuss the whole thing.  This isn't to say I want to convert to AME--beyond not being a Christian, I clearly noticed the absence of the hallmarks of progressive churches, like rainbow flags and calls to social justice around issues like immigration and gun control.  I'm pretty certain they don't support same-sex marriage.  But I liked the music and the joy.  It was a beautiful morning and I appreciated the experience of their community spirit, which, for just awhile, I was a part of.

------
About appending "-ah" at ends of phrases (from straightdope.com):
It's caused by failure to breathe properly while orating. Preachers who end up sounding that way usually start out ordinary enough, but as their adrenaline begins to flow and they talk faster and longer and louder, their diaphragms start squeezing hard to empty their old breath so they will breathe new air. What you hear is this expulsion of breath through the preacher's vocal chords.

It's been a phenomenon for a long time. C. H. Spurgeon wrote for the July, 1875 Sword and Trowel, "Hints on the Voice For Young Preachers" (http://www.spurgeon.org/s_and_t/voice.htm):

It is an infliction, not to be endured twice, to hear a brother, who mistakes perspiration for inspiration, tear along like a wild horse with a hornet in its ear till he has no more wind, and must needs pause to pump his lungs full again; a repetition of this indecency several times in a sermon is not uncommon, but is most painful. Pause soon enough to prevent that "hough, hough," which rather creates pity for the breathless orator than sympathy with the subject in hand. Your audience ought not to know that you breathe at all—the process of respiration should be as unobserved as the circulation of the blood. It is indecent to let the mere animal function of breathing cause any hiatus in your discourse.

The Starfish

A glass starfish we found serendipitously at the fair after church on Sunday

There was a man--or it could have been a woman, in this case it doesn't matter-- walking on a long, empty, and beautiful beach one morning.  Before him, he saw a child dancing on the sand, swinging her arms (or "his" arms, if you like) back and forth.  As the man approached the girl, he saw that she was not dancing but bending down to pick up a starfish and throw it into the water.  There were thousands of starfish beached on the sand, as far as the man could see.  The man said to the girl, "What are you doing?" and she replied, "If they stay too long in the sun, they will die.  So I'm sending them back out to sea."  He said, "But there are so many.  You can't save them all.  You won't make any difference."  And the girl looked at the man and looked at the starfish in her hand, thought for a moment with her face all scrunched up.  Then she threw the starfish into the sea.

"Made a difference to that one!" she replied.

Soon, others heard of the girl's efforts and many people came to the beach to help.  And thousands of starfish were saved.

This was the lesson told at church on Sunday, a popular tale in Unitarian Universalist services that I had heard before.  But the timing couldn't have been better.  There is unrest in our nation, and our wold, anger, sadness, despair even.  The murder of black men by police officers, terrorist bombings in Chelsea, and, since Sunday, yet another school shooting.  The water is not clean in many cities, particularly Flint; the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe attempts to protect its water supply from a pipeline but is opposed by Big Business.  There is war, murder, rape, torture.  65 million displaced persons in the world.  100,000 children being bombed in Aleppo.  And there is a man running for president of our country who prides himself on his racism, homophobia, isolationism, sexism, who quotes Mussolini and befriends Putin, all the while lying and obfuscating to drum up support for his walls and deportations and "law and order."

What can I do?  What in the world can I do?  I'm tired of the "thoughts and prayers" that are posted--that I post--after shootings and bombings.  I'm tired of the "we'll love better" mentality that says if we only love stronger and broader that we can overcome all; we can outlove the haters.  Better yet, we should love the haters.  Okay, yes, sure.  Thoughts, prayers, love.

But action, too. Except, what can I possibly do?  I've often heard that everyone can't do everything so pick a cause and work on it--pick up that starfish--the environment, gun control, education, Black Lives Matter, Habitat for Humanity.  All of those are good.  Which one is for me?  For my family?  How do we introduce children to social action without scaring or worrying them to much?  How do we avoid compassion fatigue?  No one likes to think too long of extinct panda bears; sixty-five million people are so many to save.  

Breathe.

One starfish at a time.

Hospice, Girl Scouts, lay ministry, money for Hillary, cans of food for the food drive, donations to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, lemonade stand for autism awareness.  Keep going, spread the word, pick up just one more starfish.

We can each make a difference.  Even if it really all seems impossible.  Sometimes, you're tired of bending over; sometimes the number of starfish is too overwhelming.  So don't look just at the entire beach of starfish despairingly; look at the one you send sailing back out to sea, rejoice that it will live, and enjoy the morning on the beach.  Sometimes, it helps if you dance a little.  

Settling In

I can't believe it's been nearly two weeks since I posted last; that might be a record.

All is well.

Just busy.

School started and the kids are back in their routines.  Same teachers, same classmates.  That makes the transition into a new school year easier, if a little boring.  Next year, in middle school, will be exciting enough, though.

A few things have changed--the day of Girl Scouts, the timing of kung fu.  And Sis has radically changed her extracurriculars.  She has dropped piano, added horseback riding, and switched from figure skating to speedskating.  I'm so proud that she's trying something new, stretching herself, taking a risk.   I'm trying not to think of the real risks, as she suits up in helmet and kevlar neck protector!  But they take all the precautions, even have huge mats on the walls of the rink.  She was exhausted after the first session, which included more than an hour of conditioning--including hopping up the stairs and also doing crossovers up the stairs!!  But she hung in there and did it.  Then she spent about an hour learning the positions of speedskating and trying it out, all on special skates!  She really was pretty amazing!  A mom of a nationally-ranked skater said Sis would do well, that she was already taking to it quickly and she had strong legs.  She does like to go fast.

After she hobbled off the ice, we soaked her in Epsom salts and gave her some ibuprofen.  The next morning, she woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to go again.  She had horseback riding that evening, which also involves strong legs--with all the posting (essentially standing in the stirrups to keep weight off the horse).

For myself, I'm getting organized for our first GS meeting tomorrow and for historic house tours starting at the end of the month.  Hospice is ongoing; I'm with the same woman I visited in the spring and summer.

In addition to school and activities, the church year has also started.  It was nice to be back, after a bit of an absence in the spring when they canceled our early service.  Good to see friendly faces, important to reflect on September 11th.  I'm a lay minister, mostly in charge of meal coordination for people in need.  One of our summer recipients was up and about after extensive back surgery; she looked great! And I'm helping to teach a young member how to crochet.  I also signed up to be on the religious education steering committee. Meetings are before church, which is easier than weeknights.  There was also a book (re-)sale, at which we always find great items.  Mama got a book on the daughters of Genghis Khan.  I picked up The Hare with the Amber Eyes.  Sis picked up a few YA books.  And they chose for me a book on New England's stone walls.  I made an appreciative "ooooh" sound when they handed it to me, as Mama apparently predicted I would.  They all say I make that sound when I see an old stone wall (I love old stone walls.)  They say I make the same sound for raptors, butterflies, old houses--and a much gruntier sound for snakes!

Then we went for a delicious pancake and omelet breakfast, one of our favorite parts of going to church.

That's how the last two weeks have gone.  The temperatures have started to drop at night but are still warm for me during the day.  Our dogwood tree is already changing, though, most likely because of the moderate drought and stress of the extra heat.  I think we set a record on Saturday and will again tomorrow.  Ugh.  Bring me fall!

Trying Taizé

A few years ago, I wrote about my interest in singing meditations and mentioned a local Taizé service, which is an evening prayer service of chanting.  I love to sing and had wanted to try the service.  Recently, our old UU church started offering its own Taizé service.  And last night I attended.

It was lovely.  We sat in a semicircle in the darkened sanctuary, facing dozens of lit candles.  We had an order of service with the words to the simple chants included.  And we sang each chant repeatedly, simple tunes that were easy to pick up.  There is something about intoning songs over and over so that the words and sounds become almost abstract.  I found it quite peaceful and meditative, really quite lovely.

My favorite song was the last one, "May All Beings Be Happy," which had verses about being happy, peaceful, and free from suffering, just like metta meditation.  I found the tune on Amazon and will teach it to the kids.

After all the singing (coupled with some prayer, readings, and silent meditation), we all left the sanctuary quietly.  In the parking lot, I said hi to my friends from the old congregation and then headed back home, taking just a little of the peace and quiet with me.

Catch Up: Two Weekends Ago

As much as I posted about my CZT experience last week, I didn't tell you about our excursions around Providence, a city none of us had visited before.  Unfortunately, the 30-degree/40 mph/snow squalls weather wasn't conducive to any outdoor activities such as Slater Mill, Coggeschwall Farm, or the Roger Williams Zoo that was most recommended to us.  But we did do a few fun indoor things, starting with the Culinary Museum on the campus of Johnson and Wales.  A history of American food and restaurants, mainly, we saw a great exhibition on diners, complete with diner car and fake food.  There was also a section on soda shops, one on the evolution of the stove (from hearth through cast iron and beyond), and another on outdoor cooking, including the Girl Scouts!  We marveled at the exhibition of sugar sculptures--real actual sugar work on display with this amazing lattice.  And a tiny space on the history of foods in ancient China, Greece, and Rome (I think.  Might have been some Aztecs, too.)  The only downside of the whole place?  No cafeteria!

So we searched for local places and Mama found this amazing old hot dog stand, officially called the Olneyville New York System Hot Wieners and Sandwiches.  There were neon signs, chrome bits, wacky signs (buy 1 for the price of two, get second free!), older male staff full of characters, and even bar stools just like the ones in the exhibit.  We had their hot dogs--which are wieners with flat ends in a steamed bun covered in some kind of ground meat and raw onion plus a smattering of seasoning somewhat like nutmeg--and french fries and cheesesteaks and a coffee milk, Rhode Island's signature drink made with coffee syrup.  It was all a riot of local color.

That evening, foregoing another meal, we wandered around downtown near our hotel, the Hotel Providence.  There was a craftsy store (full of artsy things, NOT a craft store), a used bookstore, and two Korean-Japanese places with one that sold bubble tea and other drinks.

LOVED this at the craftsy store Craftland

Exhausted, we spend the evening watching mediocre television--introduced the kids to "Deadliest Catch!"

 Before my Zentangle class began on Sunday evening, we spent the day around town.  Mama and the kids dropped me off at First Unitarian of Providence, which is a 200+ year old congregation in a lovely old building on an amazingly preserved historical street called Benefit.  (We had also marveled at historic Federal Hill the day before.)  I only heard some of the typically Unitarian service because I was distracted by the architecture.  It had the usual somewhat awkward but enthusiastic UU singing (our hearts are there--with so many aging hippies--but we aren't always such great singers in a group and we can rarely keep time) and a sermon about prayer which, also in UU fashion, skipped over the "to whom it may concern" acknowledging how fraught that was for us to focus on how it affects the praying person.  Then there was coffee hour--with real china cups in the early 19th-century parsonage and a book sale!  I felt right at home and missed my own UU congregation, which we haven't seen in awhile.


Mama and the kids did come across their own spiritual message:  the sign at a church down the street said "I find your lack of faith disturbing. --D. Vader"  LOVE IT.



We went to the museum of the famous Rhode Island School of Design, which is free on Sundays.  We wandered some of the galleries, focusing on the period rooms with all of their dec arts.   Mama even analyzed an 18th-century chest for us, you know, having built a replica herself. Sis noticed right away one of the "real" Gilbert Stuart paintings of George Washington.  There were also paintings by Hudson River landscapist Cole, portraitists Copley and Sully, and also the sculpture Nydia the Blind Girl by Rogers and busts by Powers.  We didn't spend too much time in the modern wings, though we nodded at the Warhol cow wallpaper, Rothko, and Twombly.  The kids were starting to sink, Mama was antsy to miss the weather on the drive home, and I was ready to start CZT class.

So even though it was a very short introduction to Providence, we enjoyed ourselves.  And eventually we'll get back for the zoo!

A Fine Philly Weekend

After a hectic week of illness and appointments, we got away this weekend for about 30-hours in Philly.  Our dear friend was being ordained a United Church of Christ (UCC) minister so we took the opportunity to get away for a day.

We drove down on Saturday after kung fu and ice skating, one of our easiest forays on the Jersey turnpike.  We got to Philly, checked into the lovely historic Morris House Hotel in the Olde City, and headed straight for ice cream at Franklin Fountain, which we'd discovered two years ago.  In fact, I think we had mostly the same thing--Bud had Ladies' Choice which had peach ice cream in a raspberry soda; Sis had a chocolate milkshake; and I had a War Admiral, which was a soda with roses, ginger, and milk.  But Mama got something new:  a Dubliner Sundae, which had Irish whiskey ice cream, with a warm whisky cake, and a Guinness-caramel sauce, all so very good.  Yum!  The Irish theme went great with all the drunk college kids and 20-somethings on pub crawls all over the area around us.  One group would stumble out of the pub while another group would stumble off the crowded bus, with lots of loud laughter, shouts, and merriment.  The kiddos were a bit surprised, so we gave them a few pointers on navigating the sidewalks around drunk folks--mainly keep an eye on their weaving so you don't get in the way if they need to puke!   We also popped into the Shane Confectionery next door to grab some sweets for the road.

On the way back to the hotel, we passed the closed Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, so dark, quiet, and completely devoid of people.  We never wait in line to see the bell and so enjoyed an unobstructed view through the window.  One day we'll do the Independence Hall tour, but this time we settled for Bud rapping the opening song of Hamilton, even though Hamilton spent more time in NYC.

Dinner--I know, it was after dessert, but that's how the reservations worked--was at Jones Restaurant. It was comfort food at its finest--in a swanky setting reminiscent of the "Brady Bunch" with shag carpet,  formica-like tables, and wood detailing and lamps that look just like the Brady living room.  It was a great meal:  tater tots (off menu, suggested by Mama's coworker who suggested the restaurant), fried cheese curds, fried chicken and fries, grilled cheese and tomato soup, meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and Bud's tuna tacos, which weren't exactly old-fashioned comfort food but still very good.  We even had apple pie and Duncan Hines Chocolate Cake.  Mama also had this odd grape juice/lemonade/Sprite soda combo.  The house manager saw the kids looking at the open kitchen and invited them up to watch and introduced them to Chef Lisa.  They watched a few orders being prepared until our food came.  All in all, it was a great dinner.

That night, after some DS-playing and reading, we all slept with the urban noises around us--people emptying garbage in the alley, the subway breaks under the sidewalks, the people on the streets, even all the birds sining in the early morning.  Which we saw because it was the beginning of Daylight Savings Time.  UGH.  We'd bought 9:30 tickets to see the "Magic of Pixar" exhibition at the Franklin Institute, forgetting about DST, so we were up early.  And then, we got caught in St. Patrick's Day parade traffic, which we weren't expecting.  

But we made it to the museum in time and the exhibition was excellent!  The kids loved manipulating all the stations, which explored the story in art, modeling, rigging, surface reflections (I forget what this is called), rendering, sets, etc etc etc.  They created settings, grew grass to certain specifications, adjusted lighting, drew models in 3D, and so much more.  And I think Mama had more fun with it than they did.  We all posed with the various characters set up around the show--the Monsters, Dory, Wall-e, Buzz Lightyear, and such.  I wasn't as interested, though I had fun making the grass thick or thin, curvy or straight, clumpy or evenly distributed and I also liked playing with the simulations of water, hair, clothes, etc. in Brave.  We kept teasing the kids about how integral all the math was to the art, since they complain about math in school.  But it's fun when its CGI manipulation.  Mama thought she'd even try to see if there were programs where they can start playing with animation.  Despite all of the fun we had, I was, however, very disappointed that there were no Brave souvenirs in the shop--it was all Monsters and Cars, even though the exhibition had as many girls having fun.  Shame on Pixar and the Franklin Institute.  At the end of our visit, Sis even rode the Sky Bike above the lobby of the museum, back and forth over a net, so high up!

We headed to my favorite restaurant, City Tavern, for lunch.  And what a lunch!  Buttery mushroom toast, spicy pepperpot soup, the yummy bread basket (Sally Lunn, Anadama, and sweet potato bisucits), Franklin chicken with Lunn breading and wine reduction and mashed potatoes, chicken pot pie, seafood pasta, and a cured and roasted pork chop that looked like ham.  We finished it with creme brulee, a fig and oatmeal bread pudding with amaretto sauce, and a vanilla corn cake.  And of course, raspberry shrub!  We'll have to make our own again this summer.  There was a table near us of women in full 18th-century dress, though we weren't sure if they were re-enactors or actual museum interpreters.  And we even talked to Chef Staib again!  He'd given the kids a free DVD a few years ago and posed for pictures; he kindly said he remembered.  He's always nice to diners and the staff said he's also good to work for.

After lunch, we headed out to the 'burbs for our friend's ordination.  It was a long ceremony, much like a graduation--complete with processional of folks in robes--with lots of prayers and songs and even a sermon.   There was also communion--which the UCC seems to welcome all to participate in; we had to explain communion to the kids.  Mama and I participated, in the spirit of community, as did Sis; but Bud just wasn't sure.   It was more Jesus-centered talk than our kids have ever heard, being UU and all, almost more than I've heard (and, as a child, I spent dozens of Sundays in churches with friends, be they Southern Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, no UCC though) but then it was an ordination welcoming our friend into ministry.  We saw her a bit before and talked to both her and her wife; they were so glad to see we'd come down.  I think it meant a lot to all of us that we were there.  We stayed for a bit of the light supper--baked ziti and Amish chicken!--but needed to head out soon after.  We did manage to see our friend afterwards and give her the stole I'd made.  She put it on right away and it fit and looked pretty good (which surprised me because I made up the pattern.)  Smiles all around.

And then we headed home, in the rain, on the turnpike, listening to Divergent the whole way home.  Whew.  What a weekend!  But though it was busy, it was a nice escape.  Maybe one day, we'll actually see the tour at Independence Hall!

Stole-n Rainbow

We're attending the ordination of a friend as a new UCC (United Church of Christ) minister this coming weekend.  And I had asked all my UU minister friends for their suggestions on appropriate gifts (see below for the other suggestions.)  I decided to crochet a stole but couldn't find any patterns, just a few photos without any information or even original sources.  Most of the handmade stoles are quilted or woven.  But my friend's wife is an incredible quilter, so I wasn't going to sew anything.

Mama and I talked over a possible pattern, looking at the various shapes and ideas online.  We went with a basic "V" without any increases to widen the "arms."  I chose a Granny Square as the base of the "V" and the ends, though I also considered a mitered square.  I chose rainbow because my friend is also a lesbian and because of the UCC's embrace and support of same-sex marriage.  And I liked the rainbow with black, instead of white, suggestive of a stained glass window.  

I've never made up a pattern before.  I like how it turned out, though it's definitely handmade looking.  I hope she likes it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

Crocheted Rainbow Granny Square Minister's Stole
(please note:  I don't usually write patterns, but since I couldn't find one for a stole myself, I wanted to share what I came up with;  this is more of a suggestion of how I did it than an exact pattern. You can use your favorite Granny Square.)

skeins of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and black worsted weight yarn (I used Caron Simply Soft)
H hook

Note:  the stole "arms" have been twisted so
that the end squares face front in the photo.

Granny Squares (make 3)
With red yarn, make a magic ring and chain 3.
Round 1 (red):  2dc, *ch 2, 3 dc, ch 2* 3 times, connect with sl st to first dc.  Fasten off (change colors.)

Round 2 (orange):  Attach new color (orange) in ch 2 sp with sl st, ch 3, 2dc, in next three ch 2 sp *3dc, ch 2, 3 dc*, in original ch 2 sp 3 dc, ch 2 and connect to first dc with sl st.  Fasten off (change color.)

Round 3 (yellow):  Attach new color (yellow) in ch 2 sp with sl st, ch 3, 2dc. In spaces between 3dc clusters, 3dc.  In each corner *3dc, ch 2, 3 dc*.  When you return to original ch 1 sp,  3 dc, ch 2 and connect to first dc with sl st.  Fasten off (change color.)

Round 4 (green):  repeat Round 3

Round 5 (blue):  repeat Round 3

Round 6 (purple):  dc in each stitch, and dc, ch2, dc in corner sp.

With one Granny Square (for the back/corner), begin crocheting along one side of the square in black to make the length of the stole (I attached the black with a slip stitch.)  I used a Trinity pattern--3 rows of sc, 1 row of dc--and repeated until I reached the desired length.  Do this twice, using adjoining sides of the Granny Square, so that it forms a "V" or "L" shape.

Attach each of the other two Granny Squares to the other end of the stole lengths using a slip stitch.  Be sure they are facing the correct direction; when the stole is laid flat, the right sides of the all Granny Squares face the same direction so that they drape correctly (in the photo, the stole "arms" have been twisted so that the end squares face front.)

Border the entire stole in black using single crochet.

Weave in all ends and block appropriately.

Mommy Hungry


-=-=-=-=-=-
Other suggested gifts:  Something hand-made (since you are an artist)--prayer shawl, colorful cloths or runners for decorating altars. A sculpture, "prayer" flags (there are a bunch in the Northern Sun catalog), sun catcher, dream-catcher, framed art/poster, a sculpture, book of poetry or story collections, a set of children's stories you think a minister should have, a really nice bottle of champagne, a gift certificate for a nice dinner for two (or four), flower seeds and a trowel and a pretty planter, a vase, a set of adult coloring books and 60 markers, a finger labyrinth, a stole decorated by the family, boxes of beautiful blank cards, Northern Sun for posters, an awesome angel.

Christmas Gift!

We hope you had a very merry holiday.  We did and so there's a lot to tell, so let's break the last few days down into bite-size chunks.

Wednesday:
The kids had a half day of school, so I ran the last bit of my errands and then finished wrapping presents.  I delivered the pink scarf I made to my friend for her daughter and we shared a coffee.  Otherwise, it was a lot of traffic and rain.

At some point, I lost the tv remote control.  I had been wrapping presents (about which I am very proud--it's been a long time since I could sit and to the wrapping, but I could this year), answered the phone while pausing my annual viewing of Love Actually, and then couldn't find the remote later to unpause the show.  I joked on FB that I must have wrapped the remote into a gift.  Wrapping gifts in silence was an interesting exercise, for awhile.

The kids got home in jovial spirits--the real holiday had begun!  They stayed up til midnight, a kind of free-for-all, playing games and such.  See, they didn't need the tv remote to play their games.  I bribed them with extra screen time if they could find my flipper, to no avail.

Mama couldn't find it later either.


Thursday:
Merry Christmas Eve!

It didn't feel at all like Christmas, except maybe Christmas in Texas, very warm and wet.

Mama was off to work long before the rest of us even woke up but only had a half-day.  At home, we wrapped some gifts, had a deli lunch, and watched some Doctor Who--not only were we counting down to Christmas but to the Doctor Who Christmas special as well.

Mama got home midday and did a lot of her own wrapping, helped me make gumbo, and watched some Simpsons Christmas specials.  We also had a long nap, while the kids played Minecraft.

Then it was church for carols and candlelight, one of our favorite Christmas and Unitarian Universalist traditions.  We sing lots of songs (I love "In the Bleak Midwinter"), hear a few short and uplifting remarks, light each other's candles during "Silent Night," and eat some cookies.  It's a nice, quiet pause in the middle of the chaos of the hectic holiday, as encapsulated in this reading:

Christmas Prayer by Lois Van Leer 

Let us still the world for a moment
Let it be blanketed by a soft darkness that quiets
Let us be brought to our knees
By innocence
By hope
By peace
In this night
Let something be born in us
That heals all brokenness
That does not bow down to hatred and fear
But rather meets them gently and offers them love
Let us chose all the gifts of life we are offered
Tonight is about the impossible
But no more so than any other impossibility
That fills our days
So let us embrace a story, a myth
If for a moment
Let us be carried away in its arms
Held tenderly, rocked, comforted
Let this night, these stories transform our hearts
That we may become
Joy
Hope
Love
Peace
Enfleshed
Incarnate.
May it be so. Amen.

It was the first Christmas Eve in a long time that we didn't have Goo, who had to work the day before and the day after Christmas.  With all the food made and all the gifts wrapped, we didn't have much to do, except straighten up for Santa.

Ah, Santa.  He's been the topic of discussion several times this season.  It all started with the "sad, nostalgic" hug Bud gave me at Old Sturbridge Village, which I believe he meant in reference to growing older and not believing anymore.   Since then there have been more indirect queries and discussions.  On Christmas Eve, another one arose.

It was actually a double-whammy.  We were sitting listening to the soundtrack of Fun Home, break from carols, when Bud turned to me and asked, "How do two men have sex?" in reference to the song about the father and his high school crush.  Deep breath.  And I calmly explained the simplest of mechanics, to some discomfort.  There was a question about how that would feel good and I basically said that if sex didn't feel good--that it made them mentally or physically uncomfortable when they were older--that they needed to stop, because they were dong it wrong.  It was about pleasure.  Sis quietly leaned over, "So then how do two women do it?"  It was only then that I blushed.

Sigh.  Not the Christmas Eve discussion I thought I'd be having.

Then, in less than five minutes, Sis asked me, "Is Santa real?"

I think I liked the sex question better.

I asked if they really wanted to know.  Bud said unequivocally no.  But Sis did, so I took her into the kitchen and said.  "There is no one Santa.  All the adults in your life are Santa.  We all make the magic of Christmas.  And now you are growing up and can help make the magic, too.  But don't tell anyone the secret; it's part of the fun and the responsibility."  I reassured her that nothing would really change--we would still do cookies, and oatmeal for the reindeer, and stockings.  Christmas was still Christmas.

She said she'd guessed a few years ago because she found the "Santa" wrapping paper.  I knew it!  I knew she'd guess from the paper; she's just so observant.  We had tried to keep them separate and specific, but we must have faltered.  She wasn't upset though, just curious.  "So who buys your Santa presents?"  And her eyes grew wide--with envy perhaps?--when I told her that we bought our own presents!  She also wanted to know who ate the cookies.  We do, of course.

And Albus helped.

At some point, Bud peeked in but didn't really want to listen.  He knows but doesn't want to know.  Fine.  He's struggling with a lot of big emotions about growing up right now and there's no need to push.  He fears loss now that he better understands crisis and mortality (my surgery, the deaths of Aunt Sis and our friend Sunny) and struggles with change.  Last night, he looked at a selfie we took in front of the tree--"my face has gotten thin.  I'm not chubby anymore."  He isn't quite ready to get bigger.

So, we did Christmas Eve just like all the others--books and pajamas, cookies for Santa, reindeer food, staying up too late.  We eventually tucked them in and finished up Christmas prep.  There's always the last few gifts to locate and worries about whether it's all balanced (quality vs. quantity, you know.)

And then we got to go to bed, too.

Oh, it was our 7th wedding anniversary, but we don't pay much attention to this one.  The August 23 date is more our celebration time.  But we do try at least to remember we got legally married, in CT anyway (at the time not federally recognized, until 2014, then nationally legal in 2015.  Which doesn't include our Civil Union date in October 2005, a week after that was legal), on Christmas Eve.


Friday:

Christmas Gift!  (as my dad's side of the family says.)

The kids slept in, or more specifically waited patiently and quietly, until 7 a.m. to get us up.  Ma, Gong, and Goo arrived shortly thereafter and we all circled round the glowing tree.  We actually had some of the windows open and had discussed turning on the AC; it would get above 65F, with high humidity.  Most of us were in t-shirts.  And our only fire was a video on the tv!

But the warm weather didn't melt the spirits.

We started with stockings as we always do (when I was a kid, we read the biblical verses of the nativity, but since we hear those at evening service, we don't read them again now.)  And from the very beginning, it was a Star Wars:  The Force Awakens Christmas, just like I had a few times as a child; with five of us really devoted and all of us having seen it, everyone but Ma got some SW stuff.   Throughout the day, there would be SW ornaments, SW figures, SW magazines, several SW books, SW Legos, SW trading cards, SW, car windshield cover, SW measuring cups, SW micro-machines, SW Infinity figures, SW wall lights, SW t-shirts, SW bobbleheads, and, the two biggest of all, real flying Millennium Falcon drones and actual robotic BB8s.

There were some non-SW things.  I think.  Lots of Warriors books and horse-themed gifts (pillow kit, painting kit, plaque) for Sis; the Doctor Who Lego and a refurbished iPad for Bud; a Lego Dimensions game set for the kids; a Playbill organizer for theater programs and Shaun the Sheep and Felines of New York book for Mama; and some Great British Bake-Off books and Mandala coloring book for me.  As a family, we also got a guidebook to Colonial Williamsburg, where we'll be going for a slightly extended February school break.

And I got a Tile, which is a GPS-like locator system to avoid losing things.  Like the remote control.  Which Goo found wedged behind the small couch, where we'd already unsuccessfully looked.  But, yay for him! And for me.

We laughed about the Tile, now intended for the peripatetic flipper.  And about the empty gift I got.  Mama had gotten me an iPad stand for when I cook from the computer.  Except when I went to look at it, the box was actually empty!  We thought this was funny and referred to it again and again; she took it well, though was aggravated by now having to go deal with the store.  And I celebrated each time Mama opened a gift that she didn't know about (you know, since we buy our own presents.)  I think there were three--Playbill binder, Shaun the Sheep, and  Felines of NY.  That's a good year.  We also continuously pelted her with paper "snowballs" (since it certainly wasn't a white Christmas), because she was sitting next to the recycling box.  I'd say we rarely made the box, mostly on accident.

It was a big, indulgent, materialistic Christmas; the kind we actually always talk down but often seem to then create.  I figure it won't last much longer, as the kids' wishes for toys decrease (though Mama's wishes increase.)  It also brings so much pleasure to Mama to spoil the kids.  And that makes me happy.  We just try to throw in extra charitable donations and acts of kindness to somewhat balance it out.  All the while, talking about it.  Not ideal.

I will say that one of my favorite gifts was actually unwrapped today:  handmade gold-painted pasta ornaments in the shape of symmetrical mandalas with the kids' photos in the middle, which they made at school this week.  LOVE these.  We don't have many school ornaments and so these are extra treasured, along with the ones from preschool.

We ate, too, though it's never the focal point of Christmas.  I gave up the big roast dinner a few years back and have been much happier ever since.  We had a corned beef hash and also orange biscuit breakfast, followed by gumbo and muffulettas later in the day.  Not many snacks, just some Christmas cookies.  And cheesecake.  A big, delicious, plain cheesecake that I bought a few years ago  from a friend at an auction for another friend but didn't collect until now (the cheesecake is not years old; the idea of the cheesecake is.)  And it was so good!  Best part was the crack, seriously, which signified the crack in the Whovian universe for us, perfect on the day of the Whovian Christmas special.

After opening gifts and eating, we spent the rest of the day playing with said gifts.  Ma and Gong helped Sis put her horse puzzle together.  Bud put his Doctor Who Lego together.  Mama, Gong, and co flew the drone outside.  Everybody drove BB8s around the living room, intriguing the cats.  Goo played video games with the kids.  I read and crocheted.

And at some point, Sis went outside to the neighbors and took a rope climbing lesson.  In short sleeves.  Our neighbors are Jewish and were having a non-Christmas gathering of family and making a lot of food.  So they invited us over for some; we took cookies and cheesecake.  And Sis got a lesson in rope climbing from the dad of the house.  I can't explain exactly what she did--there were clamps and belaying lines and carbiners and a full-torso harnass and she was supposed to bend a knee while extending an arm, then stand up on a rope and start again. Harder than it looked, I'm sure.  But she had a good go at it and then swung around and hung upside-down.  Goo tried it too, but Bud took a pass; I didn't even think about it.  Some of the other kids and adults tried, too.  And all we could all talk about was how warm it was.  Most were in a single layer, not a coat in sight.   The mom was even in flip-flops!  It was a quirky but welcome addition to our Christmas day.

The cats stayed mostly upstairs, though, when Albus and Hermione did venture down, they were rewarded with the big cardboard cat tree Mama had made for them.  Mojo eventually came out and sat in his spot in them middle of the couch  under a crocheted blanket most of the day.  At one point, he somehow slipped out from underneath his blanket and Goo gamely remarked, "You left the cat open."   Mr P couldn't handle any of it and hid on our bed upstairs.

Ma and Gong left soon after and ran into a ton of rain that never made it to us; they did get home safely, though.  Goo stayed until Who-time, playing games and eating dinner.  We're so glad he could join us.  He really makes the holiday special and is an integral part of our family celebration, for both Mama and I and the kids.

And then it was Doctor Who time.  The return of River Song, after too many sad episodes saying goodbye to Clara (who, thankfully, we learned in the last of three episodes, didn't actually die.)  It was great to see Alex Kingston in the role again and it was delightfully funny, with some great one-liners but also some touching twists and speeches.  The only tears were happy ones.  (Yep, I'm still hormonal.  Cried at carols on Christmas Eve, cried reading my SW magazine, cried watching DW.  Blah.)

The kids stayed up late, as part of their Christmas celebration, playing with their toys and snacking all  over again.  I think we were all asleep after midnight.

I don't know how many magical childhood Christmas we have left.  It definitely changes as children age, not bad and in many ways perhaps less frantic and more reflective, just different from the joy and exuberance (and yes, greed) of the first decade or so.  But this year at least, they still didn't sleep and they still squealed and hugged in gratitude and laughed and were merry the whole time.  And that, for us (since we aren't Christians anyway, but Unitarian Universalists celebrating family and the wonder of every child), is the reason for the season.