Christmas Gift!

We hope you had a very merry holiday.  We did and so there's a lot to tell, so let's break the last few days down into bite-size chunks.

Wednesday:
The kids had a half day of school, so I ran the last bit of my errands and then finished wrapping presents.  I delivered the pink scarf I made to my friend for her daughter and we shared a coffee.  Otherwise, it was a lot of traffic and rain.

At some point, I lost the tv remote control.  I had been wrapping presents (about which I am very proud--it's been a long time since I could sit and to the wrapping, but I could this year), answered the phone while pausing my annual viewing of Love Actually, and then couldn't find the remote later to unpause the show.  I joked on FB that I must have wrapped the remote into a gift.  Wrapping gifts in silence was an interesting exercise, for awhile.

The kids got home in jovial spirits--the real holiday had begun!  They stayed up til midnight, a kind of free-for-all, playing games and such.  See, they didn't need the tv remote to play their games.  I bribed them with extra screen time if they could find my flipper, to no avail.

Mama couldn't find it later either.


Thursday:
Merry Christmas Eve!

It didn't feel at all like Christmas, except maybe Christmas in Texas, very warm and wet.

Mama was off to work long before the rest of us even woke up but only had a half-day.  At home, we wrapped some gifts, had a deli lunch, and watched some Doctor Who--not only were we counting down to Christmas but to the Doctor Who Christmas special as well.

Mama got home midday and did a lot of her own wrapping, helped me make gumbo, and watched some Simpsons Christmas specials.  We also had a long nap, while the kids played Minecraft.

Then it was church for carols and candlelight, one of our favorite Christmas and Unitarian Universalist traditions.  We sing lots of songs (I love "In the Bleak Midwinter"), hear a few short and uplifting remarks, light each other's candles during "Silent Night," and eat some cookies.  It's a nice, quiet pause in the middle of the chaos of the hectic holiday, as encapsulated in this reading:

Christmas Prayer by Lois Van Leer 

Let us still the world for a moment
Let it be blanketed by a soft darkness that quiets
Let us be brought to our knees
By innocence
By hope
By peace
In this night
Let something be born in us
That heals all brokenness
That does not bow down to hatred and fear
But rather meets them gently and offers them love
Let us chose all the gifts of life we are offered
Tonight is about the impossible
But no more so than any other impossibility
That fills our days
So let us embrace a story, a myth
If for a moment
Let us be carried away in its arms
Held tenderly, rocked, comforted
Let this night, these stories transform our hearts
That we may become
Joy
Hope
Love
Peace
Enfleshed
Incarnate.
May it be so. Amen.

It was the first Christmas Eve in a long time that we didn't have Goo, who had to work the day before and the day after Christmas.  With all the food made and all the gifts wrapped, we didn't have much to do, except straighten up for Santa.

Ah, Santa.  He's been the topic of discussion several times this season.  It all started with the "sad, nostalgic" hug Bud gave me at Old Sturbridge Village, which I believe he meant in reference to growing older and not believing anymore.   Since then there have been more indirect queries and discussions.  On Christmas Eve, another one arose.

It was actually a double-whammy.  We were sitting listening to the soundtrack of Fun Home, break from carols, when Bud turned to me and asked, "How do two men have sex?" in reference to the song about the father and his high school crush.  Deep breath.  And I calmly explained the simplest of mechanics, to some discomfort.  There was a question about how that would feel good and I basically said that if sex didn't feel good--that it made them mentally or physically uncomfortable when they were older--that they needed to stop, because they were dong it wrong.  It was about pleasure.  Sis quietly leaned over, "So then how do two women do it?"  It was only then that I blushed.

Sigh.  Not the Christmas Eve discussion I thought I'd be having.

Then, in less than five minutes, Sis asked me, "Is Santa real?"

I think I liked the sex question better.

I asked if they really wanted to know.  Bud said unequivocally no.  But Sis did, so I took her into the kitchen and said.  "There is no one Santa.  All the adults in your life are Santa.  We all make the magic of Christmas.  And now you are growing up and can help make the magic, too.  But don't tell anyone the secret; it's part of the fun and the responsibility."  I reassured her that nothing would really change--we would still do cookies, and oatmeal for the reindeer, and stockings.  Christmas was still Christmas.

She said she'd guessed a few years ago because she found the "Santa" wrapping paper.  I knew it!  I knew she'd guess from the paper; she's just so observant.  We had tried to keep them separate and specific, but we must have faltered.  She wasn't upset though, just curious.  "So who buys your Santa presents?"  And her eyes grew wide--with envy perhaps?--when I told her that we bought our own presents!  She also wanted to know who ate the cookies.  We do, of course.

And Albus helped.

At some point, Bud peeked in but didn't really want to listen.  He knows but doesn't want to know.  Fine.  He's struggling with a lot of big emotions about growing up right now and there's no need to push.  He fears loss now that he better understands crisis and mortality (my surgery, the deaths of Aunt Sis and our friend Sunny) and struggles with change.  Last night, he looked at a selfie we took in front of the tree--"my face has gotten thin.  I'm not chubby anymore."  He isn't quite ready to get bigger.

So, we did Christmas Eve just like all the others--books and pajamas, cookies for Santa, reindeer food, staying up too late.  We eventually tucked them in and finished up Christmas prep.  There's always the last few gifts to locate and worries about whether it's all balanced (quality vs. quantity, you know.)

And then we got to go to bed, too.

Oh, it was our 7th wedding anniversary, but we don't pay much attention to this one.  The August 23 date is more our celebration time.  But we do try at least to remember we got legally married, in CT anyway (at the time not federally recognized, until 2014, then nationally legal in 2015.  Which doesn't include our Civil Union date in October 2005, a week after that was legal), on Christmas Eve.


Friday:

Christmas Gift!  (as my dad's side of the family says.)

The kids slept in, or more specifically waited patiently and quietly, until 7 a.m. to get us up.  Ma, Gong, and Goo arrived shortly thereafter and we all circled round the glowing tree.  We actually had some of the windows open and had discussed turning on the AC; it would get above 65F, with high humidity.  Most of us were in t-shirts.  And our only fire was a video on the tv!

But the warm weather didn't melt the spirits.

We started with stockings as we always do (when I was a kid, we read the biblical verses of the nativity, but since we hear those at evening service, we don't read them again now.)  And from the very beginning, it was a Star Wars:  The Force Awakens Christmas, just like I had a few times as a child; with five of us really devoted and all of us having seen it, everyone but Ma got some SW stuff.   Throughout the day, there would be SW ornaments, SW figures, SW magazines, several SW books, SW Legos, SW trading cards, SW, car windshield cover, SW measuring cups, SW micro-machines, SW Infinity figures, SW wall lights, SW t-shirts, SW bobbleheads, and, the two biggest of all, real flying Millennium Falcon drones and actual robotic BB8s.

There were some non-SW things.  I think.  Lots of Warriors books and horse-themed gifts (pillow kit, painting kit, plaque) for Sis; the Doctor Who Lego and a refurbished iPad for Bud; a Lego Dimensions game set for the kids; a Playbill organizer for theater programs and Shaun the Sheep and Felines of New York book for Mama; and some Great British Bake-Off books and Mandala coloring book for me.  As a family, we also got a guidebook to Colonial Williamsburg, where we'll be going for a slightly extended February school break.

And I got a Tile, which is a GPS-like locator system to avoid losing things.  Like the remote control.  Which Goo found wedged behind the small couch, where we'd already unsuccessfully looked.  But, yay for him! And for me.

We laughed about the Tile, now intended for the peripatetic flipper.  And about the empty gift I got.  Mama had gotten me an iPad stand for when I cook from the computer.  Except when I went to look at it, the box was actually empty!  We thought this was funny and referred to it again and again; she took it well, though was aggravated by now having to go deal with the store.  And I celebrated each time Mama opened a gift that she didn't know about (you know, since we buy our own presents.)  I think there were three--Playbill binder, Shaun the Sheep, and  Felines of NY.  That's a good year.  We also continuously pelted her with paper "snowballs" (since it certainly wasn't a white Christmas), because she was sitting next to the recycling box.  I'd say we rarely made the box, mostly on accident.

It was a big, indulgent, materialistic Christmas; the kind we actually always talk down but often seem to then create.  I figure it won't last much longer, as the kids' wishes for toys decrease (though Mama's wishes increase.)  It also brings so much pleasure to Mama to spoil the kids.  And that makes me happy.  We just try to throw in extra charitable donations and acts of kindness to somewhat balance it out.  All the while, talking about it.  Not ideal.

I will say that one of my favorite gifts was actually unwrapped today:  handmade gold-painted pasta ornaments in the shape of symmetrical mandalas with the kids' photos in the middle, which they made at school this week.  LOVE these.  We don't have many school ornaments and so these are extra treasured, along with the ones from preschool.

We ate, too, though it's never the focal point of Christmas.  I gave up the big roast dinner a few years back and have been much happier ever since.  We had a corned beef hash and also orange biscuit breakfast, followed by gumbo and muffulettas later in the day.  Not many snacks, just some Christmas cookies.  And cheesecake.  A big, delicious, plain cheesecake that I bought a few years ago  from a friend at an auction for another friend but didn't collect until now (the cheesecake is not years old; the idea of the cheesecake is.)  And it was so good!  Best part was the crack, seriously, which signified the crack in the Whovian universe for us, perfect on the day of the Whovian Christmas special.

After opening gifts and eating, we spent the rest of the day playing with said gifts.  Ma and Gong helped Sis put her horse puzzle together.  Bud put his Doctor Who Lego together.  Mama, Gong, and co flew the drone outside.  Everybody drove BB8s around the living room, intriguing the cats.  Goo played video games with the kids.  I read and crocheted.

And at some point, Sis went outside to the neighbors and took a rope climbing lesson.  In short sleeves.  Our neighbors are Jewish and were having a non-Christmas gathering of family and making a lot of food.  So they invited us over for some; we took cookies and cheesecake.  And Sis got a lesson in rope climbing from the dad of the house.  I can't explain exactly what she did--there were clamps and belaying lines and carbiners and a full-torso harnass and she was supposed to bend a knee while extending an arm, then stand up on a rope and start again. Harder than it looked, I'm sure.  But she had a good go at it and then swung around and hung upside-down.  Goo tried it too, but Bud took a pass; I didn't even think about it.  Some of the other kids and adults tried, too.  And all we could all talk about was how warm it was.  Most were in a single layer, not a coat in sight.   The mom was even in flip-flops!  It was a quirky but welcome addition to our Christmas day.

The cats stayed mostly upstairs, though, when Albus and Hermione did venture down, they were rewarded with the big cardboard cat tree Mama had made for them.  Mojo eventually came out and sat in his spot in them middle of the couch  under a crocheted blanket most of the day.  At one point, he somehow slipped out from underneath his blanket and Goo gamely remarked, "You left the cat open."   Mr P couldn't handle any of it and hid on our bed upstairs.

Ma and Gong left soon after and ran into a ton of rain that never made it to us; they did get home safely, though.  Goo stayed until Who-time, playing games and eating dinner.  We're so glad he could join us.  He really makes the holiday special and is an integral part of our family celebration, for both Mama and I and the kids.

And then it was Doctor Who time.  The return of River Song, after too many sad episodes saying goodbye to Clara (who, thankfully, we learned in the last of three episodes, didn't actually die.)  It was great to see Alex Kingston in the role again and it was delightfully funny, with some great one-liners but also some touching twists and speeches.  The only tears were happy ones.  (Yep, I'm still hormonal.  Cried at carols on Christmas Eve, cried reading my SW magazine, cried watching DW.  Blah.)

The kids stayed up late, as part of their Christmas celebration, playing with their toys and snacking all  over again.  I think we were all asleep after midnight.

I don't know how many magical childhood Christmas we have left.  It definitely changes as children age, not bad and in many ways perhaps less frantic and more reflective, just different from the joy and exuberance (and yes, greed) of the first decade or so.  But this year at least, they still didn't sleep and they still squealed and hugged in gratitude and laughed and were merry the whole time.  And that, for us (since we aren't Christians anyway, but Unitarian Universalists celebrating family and the wonder of every child), is the reason for the season.

Our Christmas

Not being Christians, we're pretty flexible with our celebrations of Christmas.  For us, in our Unitarian Universalist way, the holiday is all about families and the special blessing that children are.  When I emphasized this to the kids last night, Bud said, "Mom, we're nine.  It's all about the presents."

At least he's honest?

I was the same way at that age and I managed to grow out of it.  Growing up is the key.

Anyway, wanting to be with family for Christmas, we opted to move our celebration to this weekend since Goo has to work on Christmas and, at the time, we weren't scheduled to be in Texas.  As I think I told you, when we moved our Christmas to today, we then moved our plane tickets and get an extra 60 hours in Texas.  And another Christmas!  This time, with my folks.

The kids didn't really get into the particulars of how we swung that.  We casually said we'd checked with Santa and he'd okay'd it.  Only last night did Bud ask how I contacted him--via email?  No, I said, owl.

(That's a Harry Potter reference, folks.  Also, because snowy owls have been spotted along the CT coast.)

We think they know, but we're not asking. They were very uninterested in logistics this year, unlike years previous when we've discussed Santa as a Time Lord (and/or a stalker.)  And I'm wondering if they're not asking so we don't tell.  It's vice versa for us.

All of which is to say that Goo came last night, after the cookie party, and we had a very enjoyable evening.  We ate gumbo and cookies and Sis's homemade fudge.  We watched silly YouTube videos. Goo and the kids did Pokemon cards. We discussed Piano Guys and the kids played some of their songs.  We put out cookies and eggnog for Santa and scattered carrots and oats outside for the reindeer. We finally got the kids to bed.  

And we adults stayed up too late talking and wrapping presents.  Way too late.  But we hadn't seen Goo in a long time and we love hanging out.

Thank heavens for Goo.  Because when the kids woke up before 6 a.m., having been told there would be no presents before 7 a.m., he kept them company and distracted.  While Mama and I grabbed an extra hour of sleep.

And then Ma and Gong arrived and the festivities began straightaway.  (Not like the stories of my maternal grandfather who apparently made Gommie and her siblings wait for him to shower, shave, and dress before they could see the tree!)

Stuffed stockings and a full complement of presents under the tree.  Just like when I was a kid, we start with stockings and then open presents in round-robin fashion, one at a time.  (The only difference is we don't read the Christmas story aloud from the Bible.)  And though I'm not nine, I will tell you some of them.  Bud and Sis always give each other the presents they like best; this year was no exception.  It's one of their favorite parts, the planning and shopping and wrapping and putting them under the tree early and shaking them and then opening them very first on Christmas morning.  And so they squealed and hugged and ducked hugs and fell to the floor giggling.  Legos. Art supplies.  Dragons.  Stuffed bunny.

They always buy us presents, in addition to making bracelets or drawings or such.  They got me right on--soaps, lotions, chocolates, candied almonds, food writing books, more soaps, and some doodling supplies.  For Mama, they got art supplies and puzzles (and I got her a little Saw-Whet owl trinket in memory of Block Island and a book on birds of prey.)

And Santa--with our permission, which we gave in advance, about which they did not ask--gave them a Wii U and some games.  Yep, we have a games console in the house. And so they played MarioKart, Infinity, Fantasia, some game called Toad Tracker.  Goo and Mama, who used to open presents on Christmas Eve and then stay up playing all night even after their parents went to sleep, have longed played video games for Christmas, starting with Zelda and such.  So Mama, Goo, and the kids played, while I read and napped; Ma and Gong watched and napped some, too.

We made an amazing breakfast, namely the Deep Dark Gingerbread Waffles from Smitten Kitchen.  I LOVED them.  Great rich flavor, chewy inside a caramelized outside.  Mama also made eggs, corned beef hash, and scrapple.  Then it was back to gaming and books and napping.

Later, casually, we had muffalattas and leftover gumbo, everyone grabbing a plate when the mood struck.  So easy, so relaxed.  

(Not to say it was all perfect; there is always a little stress and conflict when families get together.  But I go to therapy sometimes and it pays off.  Today was one of those days when, instead of taking it personally and defensively, I could accept all of our quirks and have sympathy for all of us, mostly. I wish that were everyday.)

Ma and Gong left late afternoon, but Goo stayed on for more games and ordering out pizza.  We won't see him for awhile because he doesn't have much time off, so we were taking advantage of our time together.  

I had expected it to feel not quite like Christmas, since the rest of the world didn't stop.  But it did. It absolutely felt like our Christmas (except that we could order pizza, but by then it was okay.)

And guess what?  It even flurried for a few minutes and dusted our cars!!

(Now, as the day ends, Mama and I are relaxing to one of our favorite holiday films, Love Actually.  We had almost showed it to the kids this year . . .until we remembered the sweet romance between the porn stand-ins.  Acted out by Bilbo Baggins.  It'll stay our adult holiday tradition a bit longer.)

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Deep Dark Gingerbread Waffles

These might be my new Christmas breakfast treat--like a rich, gingerbread sticky pudding.  Amazing!  

1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine sea or table salt
1/2 cup buttermilk, yogurt thinned with a little milk, fresh apple cider or even stout beer
1/2 cup molasses
1/2 cup dark brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted, plus extra for brushing waffle iron

Powdered sugar for serving

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a medium bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, molasses, sugars, egg and butter until combined. The butter will likely firm up and make little white splotches throughout; this is a-okay. Pour the wet into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined.

Heat waffle iron to a middle heat. Either brush waffle iron with melted butter or spray it lightly with a nonstick cooking spray. Ladle gingerbread batter into waffle iron until they’re about 3/4 filled out. Cook according to manufacturer’s directions. In my waffle iron, I like to cook them 1 to 2 minutes more.

**My note:  this is key.  They crust up and are better after a fashion.  To remove waffles: Open waffle iron. Wait about 30 seconds, giving them a chance to steam off a little. With tongs in one hand and a small spatula in the other, gently, carefully lift corners of each waffle section enough to slide the spatula underneath, then lift and slide some more until you can get the section out. Curse Deb, because these waffles are very sticky and eager to tear. Trust Deb, that they will be worth it. Spread them on a tray in a single layer to let cool slightly; within 1 minute, they should be crisp to the touch and easier to lift. Repeat with remaining batter. Try not to stack waffles — even though they’re firm, they will stick.

Serve immediately, dusted with powdered sugar and, if you’re feeling fancy, a dollop of barely or unsweetened whipped cream or crème fraîche.

Smitten Kitchen

Merry Christmas Eve!!

It was a joyous day . . . which is ending very late indeed.  But highlights include:

• Mama heads to work (ok, not a highlight, but at least we were awake to see her off)
• snuggling in bed watching two more Doctor Who episodes;
• making granola, rosemary mixed nuts, "gingerbread" pecans, and pie crusts for mincemeat pie (which we made later);
• welcoming Ma and Gong and Goo for Christmas;
• building and decorating gingerbread houses, including one with a Christmas tree and the other that said "Merry X-mas;"
• celebratory hibachi lunch, with strawberry Japanese soda, sushi, and  lobster tail for Bud and gyoza for Sis, who now eats edamame!
• SWIMMING!!!
• delivery of the last Elf gift;
• too cold to bike ride;
• Mama comes home!  With our antipasto for dinner! 
• Sis talking to Cousin Hungry on the phone;
• Sis seeing Aunt Banana's card and being surprised and getting excited that there will be a new baby for them next summer!  (We told the kids this at Thanksgiving, but I guess she didn't put "pregnant" and "new baby" together . . .sound familiar, Gommie?)
• Muffalettas, arancini, and ricotta balls for dinner by candlelight, next to the lit tree--with all kinds of Christmas cookies for dessert;
• piano and strings recital for us (instead of going to church);
• SNOW!!!!!!  I love snow!!!!  I hope the kids always think of me when they see snow.  I think it's just miraculous--it puts me in touch with wonder and the divine, even when it is just a dusting like tonight;
• traditional pajamas and picture book, which Sis had reminded Bud of;
• Sis also gave Bud an early present of a penguin ornament;
• feeding the reindeer and leaving cookies for Santa, who Sis says prefers milk to eggnog;
• lots of extra wrapping and prep by Mama, Goo, and me, while drinking mulled Glogg;
• finally, bedtime for us . . . .

Merry Christmas!!!