As I navigate the challenges (and delights) of going from active parenting about 4 hours on an average school day to the summer-time average of closer to 13, I've realized some things about myself. I still expect the kids to need me present and ready to play. Sure, they still like to play with me, but that's occasional, not constant, which is a change from even just a year or two ago. Which means I've found myself unintentionally waiting around to be needed sometimes. And that's boring. Sometimes, after I've tried to initiate activities in the morning when they aren't interested, I'm on to other things by the time they are and we "miss" each other. So I'm finding a way to "parallel play" sometimes. If they read, I read. If they play computers, I have my smartphone. If they watch tv, I nap. It's working out pretty well. Of course, conversely, when I do chores like laundry or dishes, they do, too!
I've also figured out what makes me crazy and angry. If they make more work for me by being messy or careless or lazy--say, leaving dirty underwear in the hallway, spilling water and not wiping up, or not putting their dishes in the sink--I start yelling before I even notice I've opened my mouth. An extension of this making-more-work is how I am also sensitive to their being unhelpful, whether intentionally or un--not holding the door open, not coming when I call for help (like when the cat gets out). Also unhelpful: intentionally making trouble with the sibling. And I'm finding that I give the same directions regarding all of the above over and over and over again, which also tends to make me grouchy and deliver repeat instructions in a louder, less-friendly tone. It's much more noticeable over 13 hours.
And now that these have come into such stark contrast for me in the last three days (our first real days of lazy, at-home, together summer), I can both adjust my schedule so we're all more in sync and also be more aware of my own reactions . . . and help us get through the next few weeks!
They sound like all normal children, be thankful and very patient. I swim most days and now it is holiday time there are more children. The girls are not too bad but boys go underwater and pop up beside one or hit my butt, the parents seem not to care. They go in the sauna then jump in the pool without showering, throw odd things around without thinking of the destination, often my body. Children should be banned until I need one as a nurse or paramedic .
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