Sure, have minivan, will travel with 4 kids (and I'm speaking of local outings or day trips here, not overnights).
General Tips
How to Pack
When you have kids, it helps if you travel with their stuff. We're teased about how seriously we take this, but I'd like to think that we are rarely unprepared. For instance, when Bud threw up during a recent car trip, we had: wipes to clean him up, paper towels for the car, bags to put both the waste and his dirty clothes in, a change of clothes for him and me (because he hugged me and got me messy too), water for him to drink to feel better, snacks and items to distract Sis while we cleaned him up, and a towel to put both under him and in his lap for the rest of the ride just in case. No problem. Well, except that he was carsick in the first place.
Here's our working list:
Until they were older (probably about 2), we carried a variety of this with us in the diaper bag along with diaper stuff (diaper cream, diapers, wipes, bags). Now we are bagless, for the most part, and just keep it all in the back of the minivan (which, by the way, makes for a great changing table or place to put the portable potty--just put the plastic baggy in the potty and let them go. I hear cat litter works well too but we haven't gotten around to carrying that with us. Yet!!)
A few words on shopping: All that said, I prefer not to shop with them. Not serious shopping anyway, like the weekly run to the grocery store. And with preschool, a babysitter, and Mama who will go during church or at night, I don't have to take them shopping. It always stressed me out and bored them when I needed to go on a long shopping trip--"don't touch," "no we can't," "when we get home." Blah. I know I'm lucky. If you need tips for the grocery store, there are lots out there. I know snacks and giving them something to do (i.e. a list to look for, counting, a cart toy) are key. But I know I am faster, make better choices, and spend less money when I go alone. We will go together for a few items--Target is still one of our favorite haunts--but not for more than 30-45 minutes or so.
A few words on eating out: Practice early and often so that they get used to the atmosphere. Go to a variety of similar places. Go over the rules as you enter--we pretty much use the same ones for any outing (see above). Go at off hours--like 11:30 for lunch or 5:30 for dinner to avoid waits, crowds, and slow service. I'm less self-conscious about anything that might happen from loud voices to spilled water when few other people are around. We now carry or get crayons and draw on the back of placemats. Yes, you will pretty much be eating at places that have paper placemats and give out free crayons. We used to carry cheerios to munch on before the meal--appetizers weren't necessary and they wouldn't be starving and miserable. High chairs are great while the kids fit--keeps them contained but gives you a free hand. Booths can also keep them contained, but now Bud likes to lean/sit/crawl on me. We let them order what they like, within reason, giving them suggestions. Yes, it's mainly chicken tenders and fries. Almost anywhere. Sure, I'd love them to have varied, sophisticated, adventurous palates--but I didn't at that age (or even at 20 + their age)--and I don't want food to go to waste that I've ordered just to impress them, myself, or others--then I'd just have to feed them at home again anyway (and that would be after a scene in the restaurant). But at Mexican places, they start with chips. At the pizzeria, they might try salad. Avoid that restaurant whose raison d'etre is ice cream. They just don't eat their meals. Go to that friendly place as a dessert treat sometime. Wherever you are (and yes, we all go to the golden arches sometimes), they'll make a mess; we at least try to pile it on the plates at the end so the staff doesn't have to touch everything. We haven't had too many behavioral issues at restaurants but our fallback should it happen would be that the upset child would first be taken to the bathroom to calm down and then out to the car for a bit if that doesn't do the trick. Tip well.
- Never let having (more than one) kids be your excuse for not going out. It just isn't that much more trouble. And you both need to get out. Remember, practice makes perfect. Okay, you're right, there is no "perfect," but practice does help.
- Choose your location carefully those first several trips. Some criteria: easy to locate, clean bathrooms with changing tables; ready supply of food and/or drinks; kid-friendly atmosphere, i.e. not completely breakable, where they can walk around independently; not too quiet; other children and adults to see; contained, safe space. My suggestions: a friend's house; church; Target (join the 8 a.m. mommy brigade getting out for coffeee and companionship even with strangers; we all did it). Parks are iffy because of the bathroom and food situation, but more importantly all that open space and strangers. The latter is true of malls--so easy to lose a quick kid.
- Go over the rules in advance. Ours are:
1. inside voices
2. stay together
3. walk
4. don't touch anything without asking (esp at store)
5. hold-hands-in-parking-lots rule--if not my hand, a sibling's hand, or part of my clothes or cart.
We've also started identifying what to do if we get separated. Stay where you are. Find someone in uniform (guard, cashier, employee, police) or a mom with other kids. We've been practicing first and last names, plus our little address song.
- Keep their schedule in mind. Don't go out right before a meal or nap, if you can help it. My favorite time to go somewhere is first thing in the morning when they are at their best. And I'm at mine. For us, that can be 8:30 or 9.
- Keep it relatively short and sweet. For us, more than 2 stops on any outing is an invitation for trouble. Not that 3 stops don't happen sometimes, but I had better have saved the best for last. Even now, our trips to NYC (or Massachusetts) begin at 8 a.m. and end with us heading home around 3 p.m. Longer than that and it doesn't go well.
- Finally, be prepared to cut any outing short if it's not going well (because of tantrums, unmet expectations, whatever). There is no lesson in dragging it out on principle.
- Other tips: dress in similar colors so you can recognize your brood from a distance by shirt (sometimes all you might spot is a moving sleeve . . . ). Carry a cell phone in case you and your co-parent split up. And, finally, if we go somewhere special with a gift shop (like AMNH or the Met or Mystic Seaport), they can have approximately the equivalent of their admission price to spend (but usually only the first time we go to that place,not everytime).
How to Pack
When you have kids, it helps if you travel with their stuff. We're teased about how seriously we take this, but I'd like to think that we are rarely unprepared. For instance, when Bud threw up during a recent car trip, we had: wipes to clean him up, paper towels for the car, bags to put both the waste and his dirty clothes in, a change of clothes for him and me (because he hugged me and got me messy too), water for him to drink to feel better, snacks and items to distract Sis while we cleaned him up, and a towel to put both under him and in his lap for the rest of the ride just in case. No problem. Well, except that he was carsick in the first place.
Here's our working list:
- change of clothes in season for everyone
- towels/blankets (2-3)
- wipes and paper towels and kleenex
- water and snacks
- a few books and little toys
- plastic bags
- portable potty
- meds (tylenol, saline) and first aid (bacitracin, bandaids, aquaphor, sunscreen, thermometer)
Until they were older (probably about 2), we carried a variety of this with us in the diaper bag along with diaper stuff (diaper cream, diapers, wipes, bags). Now we are bagless, for the most part, and just keep it all in the back of the minivan (which, by the way, makes for a great changing table or place to put the portable potty--just put the plastic baggy in the potty and let them go. I hear cat litter works well too but we haven't gotten around to carrying that with us. Yet!!)
A few words on shopping: All that said, I prefer not to shop with them. Not serious shopping anyway, like the weekly run to the grocery store. And with preschool, a babysitter, and Mama who will go during church or at night, I don't have to take them shopping. It always stressed me out and bored them when I needed to go on a long shopping trip--"don't touch," "no we can't," "when we get home." Blah. I know I'm lucky. If you need tips for the grocery store, there are lots out there. I know snacks and giving them something to do (i.e. a list to look for, counting, a cart toy) are key. But I know I am faster, make better choices, and spend less money when I go alone. We will go together for a few items--Target is still one of our favorite haunts--but not for more than 30-45 minutes or so.
A few words on eating out: Practice early and often so that they get used to the atmosphere. Go to a variety of similar places. Go over the rules as you enter--we pretty much use the same ones for any outing (see above). Go at off hours--like 11:30 for lunch or 5:30 for dinner to avoid waits, crowds, and slow service. I'm less self-conscious about anything that might happen from loud voices to spilled water when few other people are around. We now carry or get crayons and draw on the back of placemats. Yes, you will pretty much be eating at places that have paper placemats and give out free crayons. We used to carry cheerios to munch on before the meal--appetizers weren't necessary and they wouldn't be starving and miserable. High chairs are great while the kids fit--keeps them contained but gives you a free hand. Booths can also keep them contained, but now Bud likes to lean/sit/crawl on me. We let them order what they like, within reason, giving them suggestions. Yes, it's mainly chicken tenders and fries. Almost anywhere. Sure, I'd love them to have varied, sophisticated, adventurous palates--but I didn't at that age (or even at 20 + their age)--and I don't want food to go to waste that I've ordered just to impress them, myself, or others--then I'd just have to feed them at home again anyway (and that would be after a scene in the restaurant). But at Mexican places, they start with chips. At the pizzeria, they might try salad. Avoid that restaurant whose raison d'etre is ice cream. They just don't eat their meals. Go to that friendly place as a dessert treat sometime. Wherever you are (and yes, we all go to the golden arches sometimes), they'll make a mess; we at least try to pile it on the plates at the end so the staff doesn't have to touch everything. We haven't had too many behavioral issues at restaurants but our fallback should it happen would be that the upset child would first be taken to the bathroom to calm down and then out to the car for a bit if that doesn't do the trick. Tip well.
I think all the practice (and stuff) has given us the confidence to go almost anywhere. And we have, for the most part, spent most Saturdays of their lives out doing something somewhere. They are adaptable, flexible, relaxed little outing-takers. And we all have a good time. Home is great, but sometimes you need to get out so you can love coming home again.
Take a small garden trowel just in case you have to bury some detritus.
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