Backwards Steps

I visited an orthopedist today. And I'm not sure I've felt so humiliated and discouraged in a long time. Basically, I had to argue with him that my legs weren't the same length and he basically said he couldn't check because I was too fat for him to measure. Then he said even if they were different lengths, it wouldn't explain why I was having trouble and that is was abnormal for a young person like me to have back issues. Not that he asked me ever what the pain was like or how the injuries occurred. He didn't seem interested in the symptoms or their cause. He laughed at orthotics but said he could write me a note for a tummy tuck to strengthen my core. I had x-rays on the spot, luckily no degeneration of the bones--so I'm not a surgical candidate. At one point, he even took a call to deal with getting money back from an insurance company and only came back later, while I sat there in a robe waiting! Really, if I lost weight, I'd be fine, and that was about it, he said. Reminds me of my old GP who thought everything was related to my sugars. Do I know that? I know weight loss would help, of course, and I've lost another 5 lbs this month. But I don't think that's the only problem. He also said if I felt like chiropractics, PT, or massage therapy just to try it, not that he seemed to care, you know, since I wasn't headed the surgery route (even though he said back surgery never worked). So dismissive. And then he prescribed me some muscle relaxers and ordered an MRI because it probably was a herniated disk, though really I wasn't having any pain as far as he could tell. He never seemed to listen, not about hyperflexibility or my history of limping or any of that. Oh, it was awful. And I sobbed all the way home. I'm so depressed and not just a little scared--what the hell is a herniated disk anyway? I've been trying to be proactive but goodness I remember why I don't like doctors (or some men, but that's just a bias that crops up when I deal with assholes. Lambeth, I can hear you hitting "comment" right now!). So I called my new GP, talked to her staff, and said I needed a new orthopedist, that I couldn't deal with him, and they suggested another group. But I'm just not sure I can go, even though Mama said she'd come too.