I have realized that we have our roughest days when I am just a reactive parent, instead of a proactive one. Somedays, I just don't plan in advance--we do things but usually activities and games we've done before (which, to my credit, used to be novel and interesting--like baking and art--but have become too familiar). I need to plan new and different activities in advance. Not just "let's play with trains" or "let's dress Baby." Today we finger painted outside on the deck table. Bud and Sis loved it, and, though we only painted for 15 minutes, it jump-started almost 3 hours of playing outside. I need to plan activities like I (ideally) plan meals: getting supplies together, checking what I have, varying the offerings, trying new things, etc.
It's funny, but I feel like, with preschool starting, that my role as entertainment director, even as teacher, is decreasing, if not disappearing. As the summer wanes and school approaches, I feel like I have just two more weeks to make my last impression/my final difference before I "lose" them to school and I don't matter as much anymore. It's crazy, irrational, untrue, but it's this unshakable feeling nonetheless. Which is probably why I have been racking my brain to figure out how to make these "last" days not just good but great.
I guess it's no wonder I'm so upset about school starting.
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