Everything's Better with Cheddar

The other day, my friend, a mother of three (including a relative newborn), made us lunch. It was turkey hot dogs (veggie burger for me) with vegetables in a cheese sauce. And there, with an almost 6 year old, an almost 4 year old, and an almost 3 month old (apologies if I have the ages off), she was cooking. Cooking lunch. I sometimes barely cook dinner. And she was making a cheese sauce, from scratch. I was impressed.

I'm always impressed. This woman, a trained early childhood educator now SAHM, is always calm in the middle of chaos, comforting when there are tears, clever when there are challenges, patience with trouble, fun, happy, creative. Eagerly watching for new ideas and approaches, I learn something new each visit. For instance, last Friday, I picked up two great ideas, besides the cheese sauce. When one child wanted to tattle on the other, she suggested they go to the person who could fix it, not to her. In other words, if Sis was complaining that Bud took her toy, she should tell him what she wants first, not me. If only adults, if only I, could be that direct with my needs. It's a great lesson. She also had a frank talk with the eldest about exclusion, as she wanted a "no boys allowed space." There my friend was explaining prejudice in clear terms to an almost (homeschooled) first grader. I used the same talk two days ago, when Sis mimicked her friend's game. These things might see pretty straightforward to others, but oftentimes it's the idea or even just the wording that turns on the lightbulb in my head.

Her husband, a child psychologist, is equally as amazing, mainly because he is a big kid himself. The kids, especially Sis, respond to him on a gut, intuitive level. But he also maintains rules and boundaries and is so calm, so patient, so clear in explaining what behaviors are and aren't acceptable. I remember several months ago one of his daughters disappearing and not answering when she was called. Instead of flying off the handle when he found her (they never fly off the handle), he explained to her about questions and calls that must be answered and meted out the appropriate discipline, a modified time-out (they count to 20), after a one-on-one discussion about the issue at hand. And then he goes back, instantly, to being fun. That is so much harder than it looks, for me, anyway.

When I hear myself talking to the kids, especially if I'm on the verge of not being patient or calm, I often think "WWSD"? When I feel tired, I remember that I don't have a newborn whose breastfeeding on demand. When I don't feel creative, I remember that they can make fun out of almost anything or even nothing at all. Now, I know they're not perfect, no parents are, but they inspire me to take my parenting to the next level.

And that's even better with cheese sauce on it.

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"Church" Miss L's Magic Cheese Sauce

1 1/2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 tablespoons flour
1 cup water (or you could use milk)
1 packet stock base (she used Trader Joe's liquid vegetable stock base)
2 cups grated cheese (approximately)
2 cups pureed vegetables (approximately)

Make a roux with butter and flour, until flour is cooked. Add water/milk and stock base. Heat through. Add cheese and vegetables. Cook until heated through. Serve over warmed vegetables (she basically microwaved a 2 lb bag of veggies, pureed some, and then served the sauce over the rest), mashed potatoes, pasta, or anything. Freezes well. She said she has even added eggs and made it a quiche!