What's in a Name?

I have to admit upfront that I don't get "Mrs."

And probably because I'm a lesbian, even one with a wife, I'm very rarely called "Mrs."

That, and during my decade or so in academics, no one addressed a woman except by "Ms."  Unless it's "Dr." or "Professor."

So I was pretty surprised to be introduced to a school assembly as "Mrs. Hungry" the other day.

Now, officially, "Hungry" is my maiden name.  Mama and I didn't share names when we married--because same-sex people have to PAY for the name change, which can run in the thousands.  Also, I'm attached to my last name.  It's mine.  I've used it professionally and personally for my whole life. And I saw no reason to give it up, nor did Mama hers.   In fact, it always surprises me to learn that women have given up their names in this day and age.  Always.  I understand the whole "making a new family thing," but then, why not hyphenate?  Both of you?  A whole new family.  But only one person I know hyphenated . . . and her husband did too.  I like that and have even contemplated it.  The symbolism is powerful, as is that of keeping your own name.  Or giving up.  But just what does it symbolize?

But back to the "Mrs."  I didn't correct the principal in front of the whole school or even in private afterwards, mainly because I wanted to think on it.  I'm not "Mrs. Hungry," ever.  My mom is.  If "Mrs." signals married, I didn't marry a "Hungry."  So the name just sounds so silly.  I'm not offended, mainly confused and amused.

I was at the school this morning doing copies for the arts contest and was handed a list of the staff.  Complete with their titles.  "Mrs." carefully delineated all the way down, except for the one "Mr.", the two feminist "Ms.", and just one "Miss."  What an archaic practice, perhaps one that is only kept alive in schools and suburbs?  Why did the school list need to demarcate everyone's marital status?

In fact, why is that the first thing we choose to signal someone?

Are married women as mystified by being "Ms." or "Miss"?  Does it sound silly?  Is it offensive?  Why?  Is it a pride thing to be known as married?

And what in the world do men think?  Do they get off on a woman giving up her own name to take theirs?  Would they ever give up theirs and take hers?  Is it just some quaint tradition?  Of course, it used to be patriarchy that demanded the name change.  Now it is a woman's choice.  That's as it should be.

But, even thinking on it, I can't wrap my head around making it for myself.

Though, if you call me "Mrs. Hungry," I'll answer.