A couple of our local groups and institutions (much less those on a national or global scale) are in a state of flux right now and it's unsettling me. From one perspective, my own relatively young and inexperienced one, this is ground-shaking; for others in the know, change is constant and not as unnerving. Though, these particular institutions mean a lot to me, are the core of my personal community, and I did not foresee change coming. For now, a path to helping, resolving, fixing is unclear. I can watch and worry and ruminate, none of which helps, only serves to frustrate, stress, or even anger me. When my mind is calm, I see clearly that the particularities of it all and even many of the possible outcomes are okay. Both because everything serves a purpose, but also because we are financially fortunate enough to have some options. And then I feel as if I'm giving up without the proverbial or actual fight. Or I feel helpless to affect real change. So I'm in a state of flux too. It's almost as if I'm walking through the various stages of grief. Back and forth.
So I'm remembering to meditate and be present and give myself and others compassion, all those spiritual and mental resources I gathered in calmer times. Of course, now it's more of a challenge, this practice. And I'm still very much at the beginning. But I know that that's okay, too.
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