Commitment

com·mit·ment  [kuh-mit-muhnt]–noun

1.the act of committing.

2.the state of being committed.

3.the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

4.a pledge or promise; obligation: We have made a commitment to pay our bills on time.

5.engagement; involvement: They have a sincere commitment to religion.

It's a word I've heard a lot these last few weeks: in WW meetings, from my PT about a lifelong exercise regimen, about my swimming.

But I haven't been feeling a lot of it.

I'm not swimming and am afraid I won't get back to it even when I feel better. I haven't tracked or even counted food points since this latest back pain started. And I have about four new pounds to show for it. Because I eat to feel better, which my GP says is so normal, so comforting (and that I should forgive myself a little now until things improve some). As for an exercise regimen, well, I feel lucky if I can just function (I'm driving again, finally). I get overwhelmed when I hurt and then all my good health habits fall to the wayside as I hunker down to cope. You know what the first indicator is to me? I stop flossing my teeth. Because I'm too lazy. Because I don't care. Because I'm tired. (And before you worry that I'm falling into a depression: I'm seeing someone about coping with chronic pain and the attendant anxiety and she says I'm not depressed. Just in pain and anxious about it.).

Good news, though: I've flossed these last two nights. My back isn't "back" but my commitment might be.