On Sand Tarts

Sand tarts.  Pecan sandies.  Snowball cookies. Mexican wedding cookies.  Russian tea cakes.

You know the cookie--round, even ball-like, or crescent-shaped, covered in powdered sugar, filled with a crumbly, dry cookie and lots of pecans.

They were long my very least favorite cookie.  I didn't like the nuts and I didn't like the sandy texture; they were always such a disappointment.

Until recently.  Both last Christmas and this, I found myself liking the sandies, even choosing them over other cookies.  For our baking bonanza this year, Mama Teacher made sandies--and they were delicious!  And there were none left in our house, the only cookie that was completely gone without sharing. Mmm, mmm, good.  My favorite cookie from the church holiday bake sale?  Sandies made with mini-chips instead of pecans.

And then out of the blue, Gommie called me asking about sandies, looking for my paternal grandmother's sand tart recipe.  And awhile later I found it, in her distinctive handwriting, in a little recipe book my aunt photocopied from the treasured original.  I made a copy for Gommie.

Finally, I've been eyeing a recipe, "cocoa wedding cookies," that is a chocolate sand tart with mini-chips and pecans.  I didn't get to make it over the break but hope to make a batch before morning coffee next week.  Right now, I just can't imagine a better cookie than that!

-=-=-=-=-=-

Mama Teacher's Snowball Cookies

1 cup butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups finely ground pecans

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup powdered sugar

Beat butter, sugar and vanilla in a bowl with mixer until creamy.  Blend in flour, pecans and salt.  Refrigerate 1 hour.  Shape dough into 1-inch balls.  Bake at 350 for 10 - 12 mins.  Cool then roll in powdered sugar.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Grandmother's Sand Tarts

(transcribed from picture)

2 sticks butter

2 cups flour

2 teaspoons vanilla

8 tablespoons sugar

1 cup chopped pecans

Roll into crescents or balls--bake 30-45 min at 300F.

Mommy Hungry

-=-=-=-=-=-

Cocoa Wedding Cakes

2 cups pecans
3 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
2 cups cold butter (4 sticks), cut into pieces (do not use margarine)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
2/3 cup semisweet chocolate mini-chips

Preheat oven to 325F.

In food processor, pulse pecans with 1 cup confectioner's sugar until pecans are finely ground.  Add butter and vanilla and process until smooth.  Add flour and cocoa and mix evenly (I had to do this in my mixer because it wouldn't fit in my processor).  Add chocolate chips and combine.

With floured hands, shape dough by rounded teaspoons into 1-inch balls.  Place balls 1" apart.

Bake cookies until begin to firm to touch (the original recipe says "lightly browned"--how do you tell that with cocoa cookies??), 16-18 minutes.  Transfer to rack to cool slightly.  

Sift remaining confectioner's sugar onto paper to roll cookies into it OR, as we did, sift sugar over cookies on cooling rack.  To cover completely, sift more powdered sugar on when completely cool and ready to serve.

makes appx. 108 cookies

Good Housekeeping's The Great Christmas Cookie Swap Cookbook

Other Variations:

Snowball Cookies

1 cup butter, softened

1 cup sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups finely ground pecans

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup powdered sugar

Beat butter, sugar and vanilla in a bowl with mixer until creamy.  Blend in flour, pecans and salt.  Refrigerate 1 hour.  Shape dough into 1-inch balls.  Bake at 350 for 10 - 12 mins.  Cool then roll in powdered sugar.

Mama Teacher

Snowball Cookies

3/4 c butter

1/2 cup white sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

1 3/4 c flour

1 cup powdered sugar

Diretions

1. preheat over to 350

2. line a baking tray with foil

3. in large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar using electric mixer

  add salt, egg, and vanilla, mixing constanly

  Slowly add the flour and continue mixing until the ingreadients are well-combined

4. use hands to shape it into round, 1-inch balls

  place each ball 2 inches apart on baking tray

5. bake for 15 min or until bottoms are golden

  let cool for 5 min on a wire rack

6. while the cookies are baking, sift the powdered sugar into a large plastic bag

7. after they have cooled, place in bag and gently shake

Snowballs (Russian Tea Cakes)—One of Miss L’ mom’s specialties

6 oz shortening and 2 oz butter (or 8 oz butter)

½ cup confectioner’s sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups flour

½ tsp salt (optional)

1 cup coarsely ground nuts (pecans, walnuts, pine nuts, etc)

Additional confectioner’s sugar for coating

Heat oven to 325 degrees.  Blend shortening and /or butter, sugar, and vanilla.  Stir the flour with salt and beat into shortening.  Stir in nuts.  Drop by heaping teaspoonfuls onto nonstick baking sheets or roll into 1-inch balls.  Bake at 325 for 20 – 25 minutes, until golden  Remove and cool.  Roll twice in confectioner’s sugar

Miss L’s Mom

J.D.’s Russian Tea Cakes

2 sticks softened unsalted butter

1/2 cup confectioners' sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp salt

2 1/2 cups flour

3/4 walnuts, finely ground in food processor or blender

2 cups confectioners' sugar for coating

Heat oven to 400 degrees  Beat butter, sugar, vanilla and salt until blended.  On low speed beat in flour and walnuts until blended.  Roll dough into 1 inch balls and place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.Bake 10 min (cookie may crack slightly).  Roll hot cookies in remaining 2 cups sugar until coated and cool on cookie rack.  Once cooled roll again in confectioners' sugar.   Enjoy!!

Italian Nut Balls—Another of Miss L’s mom’s specialties

¾ cup sugar

1 tsp salt

¾ cup butter, softened

2 egg yolks, reserve whites

½ tsp vanilla

½ tsp almond extract

2 cups flour

2 egg whites, slightly beaten

1 cup chopped nuts

Your favorite jelly

Mix sugar, salt, butter, egg yolks, vanilla extract, and almond extract on medium until well blended.  Slowly add flour at low speed.  Roll dough into 1 inch balls.  Dip into egg whites.  Roll in chopped nuts. Place on greased cookie sheet, 2 inches apart, and make a deep depression in the center of each. Bake at 350 for 10 – 12 minutes. Fill with jelly while still warm.

Mini-Chocolate Chip Snowball Cookies

1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter or margarine, softened

3/4 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Mini Morsels

1/2 cup finely chopped nuts

Powdered sugar

PREHEAT oven to 375° F.

BEAT butter, sugar, vanilla extract and salt in large mixer bowl until creamy. Gradually beat in flour; stir in morsels and nuts. Shape level tablespoons of dough into 1 1/4-inch balls. Place on ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 10 to 12 minutes or until cookies are set and lightly browned. Remove from oven. Sift powdered sugar over hot cookies on baking sheets. Cool on baking sheets for 10 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely. Sprinkle with additional powdered sugar, if desired. Store in airtight containers.

Word of the Day

I used to get a kick out of the "Word on the Street" on "Sesame Street."  It was always a good word, fun to say, and I'd remember it the rest of the day.

Well, we're now doing something similar:  a daily family word-of-the-day.  Except we choose our word at the end of the day, during dinner, and write it on the calendar.  Ours is not a vocabulary word.  Part journaling, part gratitude practice, the word of the day allows us to encapsulate our day.

Swimming.  Tooth.  School.  Cold.

These are the first four words of the year, all unanimously agreed upon.  I'm sure there will be days when there is more than one word.  And that's fine too.

I wonder what the word will be today?

Right Now

13 degrees, with 1 degree wind chill, waiting outside for the bus.  Reminds me of our years in Chicago.

Thinking of Them

• our little friend, Driver's daughter, who has pneumonia
• the father of my co-Daisy leader, who is having surgery tomorrow
• the brother of my friend, Mrs. S, who had surgery over the holidays
• the daughter-in-law of Lambeth, who is undergoing chemotherapy
• the mother-in-law of a friend, who has congestive heart failure

Our best wishes and prayers are with you.

Our Holidays

As you could gather from my infrequent posts and short "Right Nows," we had a very busy winter break.  But while busy, it was also one of the most relaxing, satisfying, and enjoyable holidays I've had as an adult.  I'm not exactly sure how we managed that, though we did 1). shorten our to-do list and manage our expectations of what we could accomplish (which meant fewer outings/activities, some untidiness (or actual downright mess and dirt!), and only very modest wrapping of packages), 2). remind each other that our goal was to enjoy our family in the moment, nothing more or less, and 3). eliminated complicated holiday meals in favor of still-tasty but less labor-intensive Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, second Christmas, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day dinners (soup and dessert, beans and cornbread, anitpasti, leftovers, and take-out), none of which would have been possible without the support of our families.

That said, when we reviewed the holiday, several wonderful moments stood out, in no particular order:

• making gingerbread houses with Ma, Gong, and Goo
• swimming with Gommie and Pop
• the musical Christmas Eve at our (possibly) new church
• eating our favorite foods, including remoulade, gumbo, muffalettas, panettone bread pudding, mincemeat pie, orange biscuits, bacon, corned beef hash, sausage, monkey bread, ham, black-eyed peas, cornbread, all-afternoon stew, chicken with rice and gravy, Peking Duck, shumai, roast pork, mushroom quiche, gingerbread, fresh mozzarella, mortadella, ham, arancini, olives, artichoke salad, dill Mediterranean chickpeas, sushi, pizza, Swedish meatballs, lingonberry sauce, salmon, shrimp, chocolate truffle cake, curried chickpeas, crepes (sweet and savory fillings), pancakes, sourdough biscuits, waffles with speculaas, Teuscher's chocolates, Christmas cookies (this list alone would take a few lines!), gluwhein and glogg, punch, decaf grande Peppermint Mochas, holiday tea, hot chocolate, panettone, pandoro (panettone without the fruit), dolmades, gyro, kebbe, kefta, mujadara, hummus, falafel, pistachio baklava, rosewater cake, cheese enchiladas, beef tacos, chile relleno, refried beans, Mexican rice, chicken fingers, beer beans, curried lentils, pork and apples, and that's not all . . . . (links to available recipes soon) 
• making moving model cars at the Eli Whitney Museum with Gommie and Pop
• coloring Shrinky Dinks with Ma, Gong, and Goo
• Bud losing his first tooth!
• reading Moody Cow Meditates and liking the Angry Mind jar idea
• I sat for 5-10 minutes almost each day!!!
• making a list of family resolutions and fun ideas for 2012 (more on this later)
• playing baseball in the warm 50 degree days with Gommie and Pop
• watching Wizard of Oz with Gommie
• eating at Bloodroot with Gommie and Pop (mushroom stroganoff, spinach noodles with vermouth cream sauce, seitan carbonnades, fresh ricotta salad, endive with avocado and watercress, potato and celery seed soup, escarole and white bean soup, mushroom soup, oatmeal bread, cranberry kissl, brandied fruit, bourbon vanilla ice cream)
• singing Christmas carols (the kiddos prefer the "Phineas and Ferb" versions!)
• playing "Silent Night" on the keyboard Santa brought
• playing with Babysitter
• having pancakes for dinner
• begin reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
• building Legos, doing arts and crafts, putting together models, reading new books, and so much more that I can't recall!

I was actually sorry to see it end this morning, though our first flurries were a consolation.

A (Partial) New-Year's How-To List

• How to cook
• How to eat less meat
• How to clean
• How to shop
• How to be inspired (including videos, radio, daily intentions, and more)
• How to be happy
• How to meditate
• How to make gingerbread
• How to go to the hospital and how to die (hopefully not necessary this year)
• How to lose weight (or not)
• How to have hope (well, more why)
• How to talk (or not)
• How to manage pain
• How to . . . the Buddha's way

Right Now

The first flurries of winter are sticking to Mama's car. 

Right Now

Snaggletooth

Bud's first loose tooth is so loose that he can wiggle it at almost a 90-degree angle to his gums!  And yet it still hasn't come out (well, the back roots are out and bled a bit today and you can put your finger inside the tooth cavity.  Ewhhh).  He's both excited and frightened.  We all hope the Tooth Fairy can come soon.  Especially because he left her a letter last week letting her know that he would need her soon.

Our Favorite Questions

Here is our semi-annual blog questionnaire (last year's here), with two bonuses, from Gommie and Pop:


Sis

Book: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

TV show: "Phineas and Ferb"

Movie:  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Song:  Theme song of "Phineas and Ferb"

CD:  Mom's Glee CDs

Musician: 

Color:  pink

Number:  7

Food:  chocolate

Flavor:  chocolate

Animal:  bunny

Day of the Week:  Saturday and Sunday

Ice Cream:  chocolate

Candy: chocolate bar

Restaurant:  Bertucci's.

Toy/Thing:  Legos; Felicity doll; Shirt; Amy the bunny

Thing to do:  swim

Place to go:  I want to go to Hershey Park.

Saying/Words:  "Cat got your tongue?"

Happy thoughts every night: 

What she wants to be when she grows up:  a vet.

Bud
Book:  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

TV show: "Phineas and Ferb"

Movie: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Song:  N/A

CD:  Mom's Glee CDs

Musician: 

Color:  blue

Number:  6

Food:  sushi

Flavor:  strawberry

Animal: penguin

Day of the Week:  I don't have one.

Ice Cream:  strawberry

Candy:  Mike and Ike's

Restaurant:  Bertucci's.

Toy/Thing:  Legos; DS.

Thing to do:  play chess.

Place to go:  Antarctica.

Saying/Words:  N/A

Happy thoughts every night:  N/A

What he wants to be when he grows up:  paleontolgist

Mommy
Book: currently, How to be Sick by Toni Bernhard, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Tova Bradley, and books by Sylvia Boorstein

TV show: "Glee"; "Tudors" season 3 and 4; "Firefly"; PBS special "Buddha"

Movie: Harry Potter series

Song: "Born this Way"

CD: Glee vol 7

Musician:  Indigo Girls;

Color: purple

Number:  12

Food:  PIZZA; homemade bread; beans;

Flavor:  chocolate; orange

Animal:  cats; pandas; groundhogs; otters

Day of the Week:  the weekend

Ice Cream:  I like the plain yogurt at Pinkberry right now

Candy: Teuscher's champagne truffles

Restaurant: Bloodroot

Toy/Thing: smartphone

Thing to do:  read; cook; date night; potholders with the kids;

Place to go:  anywhere out of the house

Saying/Words: It could be worse.  It is what it is.  

Happy thoughts every night:   my family.

What she wants to be when she grows up:  costumed historical interpreter!

Mama:
Book:  currently, Geraldine Brooks's Caleb's Crossing

TV show:  "Glee"

Movie:  N/A

Song: "Able to Sing"

CD: Beauty Queen Sister

Musician: Indigo Girls

Color:  forest green

Number: 13

Food:  sushi

Flavor:  cheddar sour cream and onion

Animal:  cats

Day of the Week:  Saturday

Ice Cream:  mango

Candy:  Gummi Bears

Restaurant:   Bloodroot

Toy/Thing:  Legos; iPad

Thing to do:  date night with Mommy; building Legos with the kids

Place to go:   NYC

Saying/Words:  What's your goal?

Happy thoughts every night: 

What she wants to be when she grows up:   fun and relaxed.

BONUS:

Gommie
Book:  currently The Greater Journey by David McCollough

TV show:  "The Good Wife"

Movie:  Avatar

Song: "Amazing Grace" (Judy Collins) and "Ave Maria"

CD:  N/A

Musician:  N/A 

Color:  light blue (it used to be green)

Number:  7

Food:  spaghetti

Flavor:  chocolate

Animal:  bighorn sheep 

Day of the Week: doesn't really matter

Ice Cream: caramel fudge

Candy: chocolate

Restaurant:  Via Emilia in Houston

Toy/Thing:  sudoku

Thing to do:  hike with Pop, go to movies

Place to go:  mountains

Saying/Words:  the Serenity Prayer

Happy thoughts every night: my happy family

What she wants to be when she grows up:  "I don't want to grow up."

Pop, as told mostly by Gommie
Book:  Empire of the Summer Moon

TV show: "Antiques Roadshow"

Movie:  Robin Hood

Song:  songs from Oklahoma, especially "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" and "Kansas City"

CD: N/A

Musician:  N/A

Color:  yellow

Number:  3

Food:  spaghetti

Flavor:   cinnamon

Animal:   ducks

Day of the Week:  Friday or the one when he's in nature

Ice Cream:  cinnamon or caramel apple

Candy:  Fire ranchers or Snickers

Restaurant:  Via Emilia in Houston

Toy/Thing:  binoculars

Thing to do:   watch wildlife

Place to go:   mountains, woods

Saying/Words:  "They're just loving life."

Happy thoughts every night:  "Tomorrow's another day."  "If some is good, more is better."

What he wants to be when he grows up:  a duck.

Happy New Year!

Wishing you and yours a wonderful 2012!  

Right Now

Kids (not) doing yoga with Gommie while monkey bread baked.

Right Now

Playing backyard baseball, without costs, on this spring-like day.

Lovingkindness

I have been unable to write about the devastating Christmas Day fire in Stamford that claimed the lives of three young sisters and their grandparents, while their mother and a family friend, as well as the arriving rescue workers, were unable to help.  And so, with my current reading of Happiness is an Inside Job by Sylvia Boorstein, I offer this metta meditation for them.

May the souls of Lily, Grace, and Sarah be at ease.
May the souls of Lomar and Pauline Johnson be at ease.
May Madonna Badger be comforted.
May Michael Borcina be comforted.
May Matthew Badger be comforted.
May their family members and friends be  comforted.
May the firefighters and other rescue workers be  comforted.
May their Stamford neighbors and community be comforted.
May other people who suffered loss, pain,and  illness during these holidays be comforted.
May people who suffer loss, pain, and illness be comforted.
May the people who help and care for them be comforted.
May we all be at ease and come to the end of suffering.

Rest in Peace, Sweet Violet

Violet the Red-Tailed hawk of NYC has died.
May she soar high,  free from pain....
Thanks to those who tried to help her.

Right Now

Just had a wonderful dinner at Bloodroot with Gommie and Pop as well as great conversation with Selma, one of the owners.

Right Now

Watching Wizard of Oz with the kiddos for their first time.

Right Now

While the kiddos swim with Gommie and Pop at their hotel, we're taking down the Christmas tree because the cats have eaten, and now thrown up, a lot if needles.  It is a great tree, changing with the passing days as we added paper chains, school and homemade ornaments, and gifted ornaments.  And we'll do it again next year.

Right Now

Playing chess (Sis and Pop, who just lost to Bud), doing a Christmas puzzle, and reading my new books on Buddhism (thanks, Aunt Banana!  And the shirts are fabulous!).

Right Now

Headed to PT after hamburgers with Gommie and Pop, who stayed home with the excited kids.

Right Now

Playing chess and DS games while waiting to hear what train Gommie and Pop are on to come see us for almost a week.  Very exciting!

Right Now

Holiday Fun: Christmas Day, Part 3

3:00 p.m. Play a bit more, then have dessert.

4:00 p.m. Ma, Gong, and Goo head home; we settle down to "Phineas and Ferb" Christmas episodes

5:15 p.m.  We call Aunt Banana, Uncle Soccer, Cousin Hungry, Gommie, and Pop just as they are having dinner.

6:00 p.m.  We have a dinner-snack of leftovers.

6:30 p.m. The bedtime routine begins early, with bathtime and then story.  Lights will hopefully be out by 7:15 p.m.  And ours will follow not long behind.

Good night, all!

Holiday Fun: Christmas Day, Part 2

12:00 p.m.  We're still talking about when to start cooking.  So we make Christmas punch, adding some orange juice to round it out (about a cup, to half the recipe).

12:30 p.m.  Cooking underway--prepping ingredients for gumbo and a quiche.  Ma and Gong are doing Nutcracker paper dolls with Sis and Bud.  I'm getting some of my treadmill time in.  Mama teases me when I inquire about the roux, reminding her of the best gravy ever for Thanksgiving.  She said she had it under control  "because the Roux Queen is on the treadmill."

1:30 p.m.  As lunch is almost ready, we're prepping the Panettone Bread Pudding to bake while we eat. Mmm,  fiori di sicilia, a creamsicle extract.  Sis and Bud have moved onto Playmobil--the pool and penguin zoo enclosure respectively.

2:00 p.m.  Lunch is served:  gumbo, shrimp remoulade, mushroom and onion quiche (a la Bittman's How to Cook Everything), leftover muffalettas, leftover Chinese (start a new Chinese tradition here), sparkling cider, and punch with sherbet.

Holiday Fun: Christmas Day, Part I

1:30 a.m. Moms head to bed.

6:20 a.m. Kids begin to stir; Ma and Gong arrive from hotel, sneaking in quietly.

6:30 a.m.  The clock is yellow!!  Meaning it's okay to get up.  Merry Christmas!!!  Bud and Sis agree that they heard jingle bells in the night (Goo said they would because I dropped a bell while cleaning up!  But of course we didn't tell.).  They get Goo out of bed and we all head downstairs to start the festivities.

8:30 a.m. Taking turns, we open all the marvelous presents (except the ones from my side of the extended family, which we'll open with Gommie and Pop).  Legos, dragons, penguins, Calico Critters, items from Colonial Williamsburg (foodstuff, jewelery, books), Star Wars things, cooking things, games, and things to make and do (science projects, arts and crafts, models) dominate the day.  We're overindulged.  But very grateful.  Sis and Bud give each other huge hugs after each gift they opened from one another.  The cats get high on sushi-style catnip toys; they're sleeping it off.

9:00 a.m. Bacon, eggs, scrapple, corned beef hash, and orange biscuits.

9:30 a.m.  Playing with toys--Bud and Goo are building a Lego Emerald City.  Sis and Ma are doing sticker mosaic arts and crafts.  I look at Mama's 500 Places to Take Your Kids Before They Grow Up.  At some point, I fall asleep.

11:00 a.m.  The kids switch to their new "Phineas and Ferb" DS games.  The adults are delaying the start of fixing lunch, which will be a hodgepodge of New Orleans foods and things Goo brought to make, plus leftovers from Chinatown.

Christmas Gift!

Good morning, Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Wishing you a joyous Christmas full of everything you hold dear!

Holiday Fun: Christmas Eve Today

So much to tell:

8:30 a.m. breakfast of leftover almond poundcake since the top collapsed and we can't take it to church tonight (yummy Wildtree mix, with slivered almonds on top!)

10:00 a.m.  Mama and Sis head to Italian deli to get cold cuts for dinner; Sis receives myriad tastes from the boisterous men behind the counter. She chooses some panettone-like croissants and pandoro to share.  Plus cannoli.  Meanwhile, Bud and I make more fantastic snowflakes from the Make Your Own Snowflakes book (which basically involves a funky 6-fold shape and tracing a snowflake stem)

11:00 a.m. We head outside into the barely above freezing weather to burn off some excited energy by scootering.

11:45 a.m.  We glue our gingerbread houses together and wait for them to harden

12:15 p.m.  Ma, Gong, and Goo arrive from the city with tons of food from Chinatown in Flushing

1:00 p.m. We have a huge lunch of Peking Duck, vegetarian Peking Duck roll, and lots of other steamed dumplings, scallion pancakes, scallion noodles, and such.

2:00 p.m. Sis and Bud play chess and Cranium Jr with Goo.  I talk briefly to Uncle Sis in coastal Texas (Aunt Sis wasn't near the phone.)

3:00 p.m.  They make holiday Shrinky Dinks and the accompanying tree (Shelley, we didn't realize the tree came with the set!).  I nap on the couch.

4:00 p.m. I wake up; Goo sleeps.  We start decorating gingerbread houses.  Sis creates the most colorful and ornate roof ever.  Bud devises a door made out of fruit leather.  I make an English cottage with thatched (Chex) roof and half-timbering (pretzels), plus a fence and an open gate.  Goo wakes up later and makes a teepee.

5:00 p.m.  We eat dinner--muffalettas, while listening to our Preservation Hall holiday CD, the first of our New Oreleans-styled Christmas food.  Ma, Gong, and Goo surprise me with candlelit Hong Kong pastries for my birthday.

6:15 p.m.  We change clothes and head to (our new) church.  Mama has warm virgin Gluwhein for the car and a faux sheep fleece blanket for me to lie under.

7:00 p.m.  Service is beautiful.  Lots of music.  And a congregational carol sing.  And for the first time ever, Sis and Bud actually read the lyrics to the songs we sing, including "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," "Come All Ye Faithful," "Joy to the World," "Silent Night," "In the Bleak Midwinter," "The First Noel," "Angels We Have Heard on High," "O Little Town of Bethlehem," and "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" (one of Mama's favorites.)  It made me teary to hear their little voices (I was already teary--not our "old church," our third wedding anniversary, Gommie and Pop weren't there, etc.).  There was an hilarious story read about Eddie the Elf, an injury to Santa, and Murray the substitute Santa who thinks the reindeers' names were "Mason, and Dixon, and Richard M. Nixon."  Cookies (we take store-bought chocolate-dipped, raspberry filled madeleines) and cider afterwards rounded off the evening.

8:45 p.m. On the way home, while singing more songs, we spot an amazing sight:  a boat fully decorated with lit tree, other glowing decorations, and mini-lighthouse, tooting down the river.  We turned around so we could see it again.  And again.

9:00 p.m.  We feed the reindeer oatmeal, put out warm chocolate chip cookies (because that's what OSV Santa said were his favorites) and egg nog, put on our new  Christmas pajamas (candy for Sis; penguins for Bud), and head off to SQUIRT time with new Nutcracker books for each.

9:30  Ma and Gong head to their hotel.  Goo, Mama, and I are up chatting and wrapping presents.

Merry Christmas Eve, y'all!

Advent Activity: Emmet Otter!!!

An annual tradition for me for decades now, we watched Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas with the children tonight.  I love those adorable puppets.  I love the singable songs.  I love the story, from the recently-deceased author Russell  Hoban's book of that name, which a recent article (which has some video clips) described as O. Henry meets Little House on the Prairie (see also an NPR story here).  And so we watched it together, all curled up in bed, this evening.  Best. Christmas. Show. Ever.

Holiday Fun: Making the Magic

I think this is one of my favorite parts of Christmas:  Mama and I alone getting things ready.  We're trying to do most of it tonight so that we aren't up for an extra long time tomorrow night.  We've made the olive mixture for the muffalettas for our New Orleans-style feast (with gumbo and bread pudding); I baked an almond pound cake for church tomorrow night (it didn't come out, stuck solid to my pan, c'est la vie--maybe I'll make trifle!  Too bad it's too late to get new pans for Christmas.)  I wrote up a last few Christmas cards.  Mama is wrapping dozens of presents.  Christmas music is on the "stereo" (is it still a stereo?) and we were snacking on Wensleydale and crackers.  So far, so good.

Holiday Fun: Let the Break Begin!

The kids are officially out of school but won't be home on the bus for about half an hour.  I'm really excited about their coming home, about the beginning of our holiday week together, which will go as follows:

• Today:  Sis actually has a follow-up doctor's appointment this afternoon; then we'll bake cookies or glue gingerbread houses or watch a holiday movie or, well, whatever strikes our fancy.  After the kids go to bed, there's a lot of wrapping to be done.  Essentially all of it.
• Christmas Eve:  Ma, Gong, and Goo come tomorrow; they'll spend the night (with grandparents at a local hotel).  We'll play, eat, go to church, spread out reindeer food on the grass (oatmeal and glitter)
• Christmas!
• Monday:  Mama has the day off!
• Tuesday:  Gommie and Pop are here through the rest of the vacation.

Let the fun begin!

An Early Christmas Present

I sat this morning for 5 minutes!!!!!


My new physical therapist, in concert with my new pain doctor's prescription, has made all the difference.  On Tuesday, one visit eased pre-menstrual cramps and back tightness.  Last night's visit eased a hitch I had in my side from leaning into the refrigerator to get something.  I don't know how she does it--integrated manipulation, visceral energy release, chakra work--but I believe in it.  Because it's working.  Working more than the pills, working when the pills don't.

It feels odd to sit, almost like I've forgotten how.  And I get so caught up in the act of sitting that I need a distraction so I don't stress about doing it (I sat for 1 1/2 minutes twice yesterday). Good thing I always have my phone with me.  There is some reverb discomfort upon standing up but it goes away in seconds.  I worry a bit that I could herniate a disc or something else again, but it's a risk I'm willing to take for the reward of sitting again.  Of course, I realize there may be setbacks on what is still a long journey to a full recovery but for now I'm focusing on the positive.

I think it's going to be a good Christmas and a better new year!

Right Now

Babysitter is here!

Right Now

Asked Mama to buy three boxes of butter at the store.  Let the festivities begin!

Soup's On

Mmm, mmm good.  Just made this up with what I had on hand, inspired by similar soups I've had at our local deli and Mama Teacher's winter vegetable soup . . . .

"Tuscan Sunset" Tortellini Soup


carrots, onion, celery--chopped, amount to taste
3+ cloves garlic, chopped
olive oil
6 cups stock
1/2 package three-cheese tortellini (you can use any kind)
1/2 can diced tomatoes
1 cup cooked chickpeas
"Tuscan Sunset" Penzey's Italian seasoning or your favorite herbs and spices

Saute carrots, onion, celery in oil.  Add garlic.  Then add stock and tortellini.  Boil according to package directions (about 10 minutes).  Add tomatoes, chickpeas, and seasoning.  Simmer until blended.  Serve with grated Parmesan cheese and bread.

Mommy Hungry

Advent Activity: Almost Done

It's always at this point in December that our Advent Activities become less formal and more a part of our preparations for the holiday.  The kids forget to check the socks; I forget to fill them with a slip of paper revealing the days' activity.  In truth, we do more than one.  For instance, on Wednesday, the evening that we honored Hanukkah, we also hand-delivered Christmas cards to our neighbors (each accompanied by an enthusiastic "Merry Christmas!" from Sis) and then the kids wrote Christmas cards to people they wanted to give them to (separate from my list).  Yesterday we talked about Solstice in the morning and then had a dinner playdate with a friend after kung fu (Driver and her daughter).  I called it a Solstice Supper because the food--pizza--we were eating was round!  Yep, a stretch.  But it was still a cheerful, celebratory activity on a dull day. And today's activity?  I don't know yet.  Except beloved Babysitter is home for college and will be coming to see them tonight.  There will be gifts and maybe cookies, if we bake them before she gets here.  But since no one thought about Advent socks this morning, I didn't either.  But obviously we're still counting down til Christmas!

Let it Rain, Let it Rain, Let it Rain

Actually, I'm not complaining about the rain.  I like dark, gray days; it's only right this time of year, especially today, the shortest of them all.  And I'm actually glad it's not snow which, while beautiful, makes me nervous and keeps me even more homebound than usual.  I like that it's been unseasonably warm.  Though, a little of the predicted snow for Christmas Eve would be nice.

Until then, Happy Solstice!

Advent Activity: Right Now

Frying latkes for Hanukkah.  And listening to the Maccabeats' new song "Miracles."

A New Kind of Date Night

Date night used to be a semi-regular part of our lives. But, of course, under the circumstances (yes, my back and, perhaps even more, the loss of our now-collegiate babysitter), we don't do that anymore.  But my new therapist--a LCSW and cognitive behavioralist who is helping me cope with the emotional issues surrounding chronic pain and teaching me some techniques to "manage gracefully" (my new favorite phrase from Sylvia Boorstein's introduction to Buddhism, It's Easier than You Think)--suggested we try to adapt our enjoyment of date night (usually a restaurant meal and some casual bookstore browsing.) to our new circumstances, to think outside the box, to give us something else to do or talk about besides our worries and to-do list.  Take out, a new movie, another at-home activity, anything new that we can do once a week or so at home once the kids are asleep.

And so, being an A student and loving a project, I spent some time thinking on what we could do.  I remembered that Gretchen Rubin, in The Happiness Project, mentions that one piece of good advice she'd learned was for every couple to have two games they enjoyed together, one outdoors (like golf, tennis) and one indoors (like Scrabble).  Mama and I don't have an outdoor game (and probably won't, beyond short walks), but we do like to play chess and our new Harry Potter Lego game.  And we also used to do puzzles.  So we opted for a puzzle night, focusing on a holiday puzzle Mama had gotten last year after the holidays and was eager to do.  We brainstormed how I could do a puzzle--sideways on a board on the bed--and we rushed cleaning the kitchen and such last Friday night.

It was such fun!  We issued a moratorium on digital gadgets and stressful discussions to help protect the evening.  Then we curled up with the puzzle while listening to our music playlist on shuffle.  It was just what we needed to get us out of our rut and have some relaxing fun.  It will be so easy to do again--and we want to, especially because we didn't finish it.

Singing the Canon

Aunt Banana gave me a great book for my birthday, All Together Singing in the Kitchen, that I'm enjoying immensely, though only a chapter or so in.  Written by the musical Nields sisters, the book encourages all families to explore their musicality, even if they wouldn't call themselves musical.  One of the early exercises is to list your family's canon of songs that you sing.  I did that here once, though that's not nearly all of them.  I'm going to keep working on our list.  And on singing with the kids.  You'll be hearing more about this later.

But I've realized something interesting about the transmission of songs and nursery rhymes:  I think kids learn lullabies and nursery rhymes not because you sing it to them but because later, when they're older, they hear you sing and say them to younger siblings.  We sang songs and did Mother Goose all the time when they were young--"Itsy Bitsy Spider" was my go-to for years--but they don't remember any of them.  However, if I had a baby now, they'd hear me sing the same songs and recite the same poems to the little one.  I don't sing them those songs much anymore because we've moved on, but when I do, the kids have no clue what it is.  So I have this suspicion that my kids are going to be early-childhood illiterate, which is so strange considering how much time we actually did spend on "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and the like.

So, only kids and twins (real or "Irish"), does this ring true to you?

Humor: Goodnight, iPad

Thanks to Mommy Goose for finding this jewel.

Another Coincidence

It's my year for coincidences:  through a mutual friend, I just got in contact with a woman with an L5-SI 1 disc herniation who is also completely unable to sit or drive and is homebound with a young child--and she's hyperflexible, too!  We exchanged some email and then spoke on the phone for an hour, comparing notes, tests, treatments, doctors, mothering through pain.  It's fascinating to have someone where I am. I thought I was the only one in this very odd situation.  I'm sorry for her but happy for me!

Right Now

Two red-tail hawks just flew low overhead.

Background Noise

Many of you have kindly asked how I'm feeling with the new pain medication.  And the answer in a word:  great!

Except I still can't sit.

Still, I've suddenly realized how much low-level pain permeated my day because it's all gone.  It's like the phone line was filled with static, but I didn't realize it until it stopped.  It's glorious.  Maybe too glorious.  I could become mentally addicted to feeling this way, though I was clearly getting along without it and still could (though, now every six hours when that background pain comes back, I notice, which is a bit more annoying and distressing than it used to be)  The medication was supposed to make it easier for me to sit, but there hasn't been much progress in that regard (it might have added a few seconds and dulled the pain response that does come, which isn't nothing).  It hasn't been a  week yet so maybe there's some kind of accumulation effect.  Also, I can't imagine it's that easy--one pill and I'm healed.

I'm waiting on the oral nerve blockers for a bit, just want to see what physical therapy with the new PT can do, as it seems promising.  There's always time for another pill after a few weeks.  I hope it's as good as this one.

Limbo

We liked the new UU church we tried yesterday--the flow of the service, the adult and children RE programs, the social and social justice activities, the reading of the ministers (neither preached as it was a music service).  Still, thinking of leaving our current church is painful.  We know it's not meeting our spiritual or educational needs  anymore, but we still value and enjoy the people.  It reminds me of divorce, stories I've read about wanting to separate from your spouse but not his or her family.  I don't want to attend our current church anymore, but I'm not ready to not see the people every week. It feels like a betrayal or something.  Definitely a loss.  And while the new possibility is alluring, I know it too will present all the challenges of a typical church family.  I'm just hoping the positives outweigh the negatives.  So, we're in limbo for awhile.  We want to go to the new church a few more times, especially to hear the minister preach.  But in truth, the decision is made.

Advent Activity: The Weekend

The weekend was full of activities, Christmas related and not.  On Saturday, as I posted here, I worked on Christmas cards.  But I didn't mention what Mama and the kids were up to:  they were doing Christmas in the city with Ma, Gong, and Goo, the annual pilgrimage to the Rockefeller Tree, Teuscher chocolates, FAO Schwartz, the creche at St. Patrick's Cathedral, the windows at Saks, and everything else that makes the city wonderful this time of year.  Then they went for Korean barbecue in Flushing and home to their grandparents to play and decorate their live tree.  They got home late, but I was not here.  I went to our playgroup's holiday Christmas party (formerly the cookie swap, and it will be a swap again next year!) which also doubled as a surprise 40th birthday party for one of our number.  We ate, talked, ate, laughed, ate, shared, and then ate some more!  Yummy Mexican dips, stuffed mushrooms, iced sugar cookies, birthday cake, Christmas punch (pineapple, cranberry, gingerale maybe, sherbet, and some almond extract), and, my favorite, Mommy Goose's spinach bites (I thought I had the recipe--I don't--but she said she'd give it to me).  I managed to stay for almost three hours, mostly on the couch, enjoying talking to all my friends, or even just listening.

Sunday's Advent Activity was actually completely unexpected:  a new train set!  Gommie and Pop sent us a battery-operated (perfect for the cats with no wires), holiday train set to go under the tree.  The kids were thrilled as Mama set it up and got it started!)  It fits perfectly under the tree and is fun and festive.  The kids enjoy watching it go around in circles, especially if the cat is standing there getting agitated.  The only downside is that it sings!  Oh, the music.  Bud loves the music and wants it on all the time.   Mama is going to find the speaker and cover it, at least to dampen the sound.  Still, it's fun.  Thanks, Gommie and Pop!  It was a great surprise and addition to the season.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Mommy Goose's Spinach Bites

2 10-oz. packages frozen chopped spinach, thawed

4 eggs

1/2 c. grated parmesan cheese

1 large onion, finely chopped

2 c. Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Stuffing mix

1/2 t. garlic powder

1/2 t. dried thyme

1/4 t. black pepper

10 T melted butter (1 stick + 2 T)

Squeeze water out of spinach through a colander until just about dry. Beat the eggs in a bowl, then dump rest of ingredients in and mix. Cover bowl and refrigerate for an hour.

Heat oven to 350. Shape mixture into 1-inch balls and bake on lightly greased cookie sheet until browned and cripsy, 30-35 minutes.

YUM!

-=-=-=-=-=-

Christmas Punch

1 (48-ounce) bottle cranberry juice drink
1 (48-ounce) can pineapple juice
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons almond extract
1 (2-liter) bottle ginger ale, chilled

1. Stir together first 4 ingredients until sugar dissolves. Cover and chill 8 hours.
2. Stir in ginger ale just before serving.

Makes 6 1/2 quarts.

Be Well

Get well soon, CJ!

And I hope you don't catch it, Mama Teacher!  We'll be thinking of you tonight.

The Score

Check back for the Christmas card update:

@ 10:13, 32 down
@ 10:53, 46 done (yes, that's slow, but I write a note in each one)
@  11:27, taking a treadmill and then pizza break; about 2/3 finished
@12:21, 59 done, about 20 to go

@ 12:50, 72 cards done (still need to fill with photos and legend, address, and stamp), 7 more to write if I can find addresses, and 10 for the kids to do, which brings us to a final card count:

89 cards!!

Right Now

Writing my first batch of Christmas cards in three years!

Good Night, Bright Prince

I've been thinking about Christopher Hitchens frequently these last few days.  I should start by saying I haven't read but one article by Hitchens--that on his own physical decline from esophageal cancer that defies the maxim and does not make him stronger--plus a review of his last compendium, then the NYTimes obituary and a eulogy and a few other reminiscences (and here and here and here and here).  He seems a brilliant man, and not just because I neither recognize authors he quotes, speak languages he dissects, nor grasp history as broadly or deeply as he does.  There is a wit about him, a clarity, a frankness.  Or I should say was, for he died earlier this week at MD Anderson in Houston, aged 62.  It is a loss I didn't fully realize until after the fact.  I'd say requiescat in pace, but as he was a renown atheist, I'll hold his surviving family in my thoughts.  And perhaps best of all, read more of his works (a selection of his Vanity Fair columns is here).

Advent Activity: Chalkboard Decorations

By Sis, Young Babysitter, and Sis again (Bud did the decorations on the tree and an igloo with penguins that were too hard to photograph):

Not Lovin' It

We're trying not to "love" things these days.  We noticed that culturally the word "love" is tossed around very casually--as a nation, we love shoes and movies and chocolate and toys and clothes and celebrities.  But that's not love at all.   And so now, we're trying really hard in our house to save the word "love" for special relationships with people.  Like "I love you."  Otherwise, we really like things a lot or they're our favorites.  And I'm the biggest offender, using "love" in my usual exuberant, hyperbolic way.  But I'm working on it.

And yep, we don't "hate" either.

A New Theory

Twice this week medical professionals have questioned my accepted narrative about my back injury, which we've always thought, and doctors have concurred, was primarily a herniated disc, L5-SI1.  But on Tuesday, the pain doctor said that the herniated disc was resolved and the pain was a secondary injury in my coccyx, though he doesn't know how the two are related.  Last night, my new physical therapist said she even wondered if the second incident, in April, when I ceased entirely being able to sit, wasn't a disc herniating that I felt, but my SI joint popping out somehow.  I know they've done studies where something like 20% of a random sample of people have herniated discs but are asymptomatic, i.e. without back pain.  Is it possible that the pain wasn't originally or always the disc?  Hard to say now, but apparently it isn't my current trouble.  And, I must say, that is quite a paradigm shift for me.  Just thinking about another kind of injury, though it's 9 months past, gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I mean, who wants to think of their pelvis getting out of joint?  I had gotten comfortable, so to speak, with having a herniated disc, even if it didn't always make sense experientially.  Now I have something else to wrap my mind around.

But I'm trying not to think on it too much, since it doesn't actually change what I'm going through.  In fact, the notion that it is something else gives us a new path to follow after 18 or so months chasing the disc.  And this new physical therapist has some ideas how to help.  And all without the painful internal tailbone manipulation of the last therapist (whom she used to work with)!  Anyway, she practices, if I have this right, Integrative Manipulative Therapy, with techniques derived from the French osteopath Jean-Pierre Barral.  Plus a sprinkling of cranio-sacral, energy healing, biofeedback, and chakra work.  I know, it sounds like magic.  But, she watched me walk with pain in my c-section scar and tightness in my back, laid me down, popped my sacrum painlessly, and had me walk again . . . with none of the symptoms of a few minutes earlier (though, she said for awhile it would pop back . . and that's just the beginning of the work to get me to sit, but she thinks I will be able to).  I told her that 400 years ago, they would have burned her at the stake!  It was amazing.  Then she did some soft tissue, visceral work (something about fascial envelopes connecting parts of our bodies) that was so gentle but released energies, she said, that clearly made my legs shake.  She even touched my head and tailbone alternately and said I had no spinal blockages and that she wouldn't have known I had a herniated disc.  All I have to say is that if it works, I'm a believer.

Which might take me further along in my project to understand the idea of  prayer and  spiritual energies, for sure.

Advent Activity: Reindeer Droppings

Lambeth sent me this recipe a few years ago and, this year, we're going to try them:

A recipe for Christmas, the kiddos may be able to help. 

2 cups of sugar
1/2  cup milk
1/2 cup butter
1/3 cup cocoa (powder)
2 cups quick oats amd 1 cup of desicctaed coconut 

US or UK cups will do, or even Lapland. 

Boil the sugar, milk, butter and cocoa together.  Remove from the heat and 
add in the oats and coconut.  When cool enough to handle let the kids mix 
together to form a homogeneous mass.    Then , with a table spoon, let them 
make their own 'sweets' with the mixture on some wax paper.  Let it set.    
To add texture put some chocolate raisins into a few. 


The name for this delicacy, chocolate reindeer droppings. 

Go wild, put it on your blog with acknowledgement to The Childrens Society 
of England. 

The Straw

My church is not having a service for Christmas.

This was always my favorite service of the year--candles, singing, community.  We even got married before the Christmas Eve service in 2008.

And so I think this might be the straw--either the last one or the one that broke the camel's back.

It just doesn't feel like church anymore, after years of money woes, divisive politics, the loss of our minister, the loss of our building, and now the loss of Christmas service.  It's not the kind of church I want for myself and my family, even though I love many of the people and treasure the memories we've shared.

So this Sunday, we'll be going somewhere else to see if we can find a church home elsewhere, still Unitarian Universalist though.  At the very least, I need a break, especially because I have so much trouble attending late afternoon service.  It's not officially goodbye to our old church just yet, but I'm sad to say it is a start.

Advent Activity: Right Now

Partying with Mama, the kids, and  Santa....

More Holiday Humor

If you have an Elf on the Shelf and have ever forgotten to move it, read "Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies" at People I want to Punch in the Face.  It's hilarious!

My New Project

About a year ago, I was deep into research on the history of slavery in Connecticut, as part of my work on the education committee of a local historic house.  I learned how this state was the "Georgia of the North," with more slaves than any other New England colony, and also how slaves continued their West African religious practices such as hiding minkisi under floorboards for protection.  I also spent some time looking into pirates and privateers who operated in the waters of Long Island Sound.

Now I'm beginning research on Native Americans in colonial Connecticut, in the 18th-century.  It's just the beginning of my research, but with both the Mashantucket Pequot Museum and the Institute for American Indian Studies here in the state, I know I'll turn up some interesting information to share with the fifth graders come April.  But one statistic strikes me:  there were approximately 30,000 Native Americans here in what is now Connecticut when colonists arrived.  By 1762, there were less than 1,000.

We're also going to be including some discussion of archaeology, essentially how we as historians and docents learn about the ordinary people who didn't make it into the written historical record.  There have been thousands of artifacts discovered at our site, which should make for wonderful discussion, even if we can't show the classes anything more than pictures of objects or replicas.  Of course, when I was in elementary school, Indiana Jones popularized archaeology.  I hope our tour will be able to do the same and get the students excited about our local history and how we learn it.

God, the "God Particle," and Me

I've just completed a UU course in prayer, participating in inner and outer prayer practices such as meditation, using a finger labyrinth, a universal rosary, and guided imagery, as well as discussing readings and our own experiences.

And so, with this in mind, I've been talking with many of my spiritual friends, asking, particularly, "How do you think prayer works?"

One believed in a universal consciousness, with energies directed through prayer that could directly reach their intended recipient.  Another believed in an intercessory God but also said that the prayers were as much for her own mental and emotional focus than for direct effect.

As I've mentioned several times before, I don't believe in an intercessory, omnipotent, omnipresent deity.  And so I can't conceive of prayer as being directed to God like a phone call is routed through a telecommunications satellite, but I'm learning that you don't necessarily need a deity to pray.  My friend, the one who believes in the universal mind, believes my skepticism is a childhood trauma, something that I need to heal from, an energy blockage that needs to be worked out.  And so I ask her--in all seriousness--how that energy works, how prayer energy and spiritual blockages work, what part of the body makes that energy?  It doesn't work that way, she said patiently, mentioning qi and other metaphysical ideas about spiritual energy.  But I asked for evidence, proof, scientific explanation and she said it can't be tested that way.

Just because it can't be tested by traditional scientific means doesn't mean it doesn't exist, she says.

That would be faith.

I take certain things on faith, things I don't understand but can accept, knowing that other people have the answers.  Like a car engine.  Or particle physics.

Except I'm beginning to understand that, as scientists dig deeper at the far reaches of our knowledge, the questions and answers are as murky as theology and the nature of prayer.  I recently read, though I recall not where, that biologists looking at cells in the human body now believe that mitochondria function like viruses, which surprised them.

And then there is the so-called "God particle," or the Higgs boson, that may or may not exist but is central to the Standard Model of understanding the Big Bang and how particles of energy gain mass.  (Okay, remember, I'm not a scientist, so I only think I have that correctly).  I've been reading several articles about the announcement this week that physicists have tantalizing evidence but no real proof of the Higgs.  In one article, which I cannot locate now, a scientist quoted the "unknown principle" in physics--sometimes things happen for reasons we don't understand, in ways and at times we don't understand.

That sounds a lot like prayer.

Oddly, I'm also a skeptic about science sometimes, feeling that science often labels events and systems without actually understanding it.  They can call it the Higgs boson without knowing if it is real, how big it is, and where to look for it.  Naming something, though, gives you a sense of power over it. (I've long wondered that we can put a man on the moon but can't tell if a woman is pregnant for weeks and weeks after conception.)  Still, as Mama points out, science focuses on quantifiable, predictable, reproducible theories.

Prayer is none of those.

My religious friends acknowledge that there is no 1:1 correlation between prayer and outcome.  There is always an effect, though, either on themselves or on those for whom they pray, the latter usually being as amorphous as "what is best."  In other words, if I pray for a sick friend and the friend dies, some people would say that was the best outcome, even if I don't like it, or that it's part of a larger picture.  But if you draw the effects of prayer so broadly and randomly, it seems to water down the power, no?  Clearly, prayer doesn't follow scientific principles, even if science has started to study it.  There is an oft-referred to study that shows people who are prayed for heal faster, with lower mortality rates, even when they are unaware of the prayers.  (Though, a recent article in Woman's Day, given to me by Mommy Goose, says a Harvard study recently refuted that.)  There again, I'm focusing too much on proof and evidence and control and rationality.

If I can allow myself to accept the murkiness of biology and physics and to be comfortable with my not knowing the intricacies of said disciplines, why not prayer?  Is it possible that spiritual energies exist but that we can't understand how they work?  Is prayer the Higgs of the spiritual universe, giving mass to our deepest joys and concerns?  Why do I need the proof?  Or do I have proof?  Lots of people from a variety of religious backgrounds--New Age, Judaism, Baptist, Catholic, LDS, Buddhist, UU--have prayed for me.  True, I haven't had a remarkable, miraculous healing, but I am better and it could be worse.  Has prayer worked on me?  I know it helped me emotionally to know that people were keeping me in their thoughts and so there is a demonstrable effect.  And when I pray for others, or even myself, I know that at the very least I remember to do things for them, check in, make a meal, or treat them or myself kindly and compassionately, and so there is an effect, even if it isn't miraculous or divine.

I guess I'm like those physicists looking for the Higgs--I've got tantalizing information about prayer but I need more time to think on and study it.

Advent Activity: The Countdown Continues

Slowly, the Christmas cards we receive are replacing the Advent Activity stockings we've removed as we're more than halfway to Christmas!

Advent Activity: Santa Lucia Day

Yesterday we learned a little about Santa Lucia Day, or Saint Lucy's Day, a holiday observed mainly in Scandinavian countries on December 13.  Traditionally, the eldest girl in the family dresses in a white gown dons a wreath of greenery and lit white candles and serves her family coffee and Saint Lucy buns in the morning.  Some towns also have processions.  Bud was very hung up on the fact that it was the eldest girl, sensing, I think, that he was excluded (though,  now I understand boys are more involved in the rituals).  Sis was curious about the candles, which gruesomely refer to the failed attempt to burn Saint Lucy.  And so, when we got home from NYC with our bottle of Kinder Punsch non-alcoholic Gluwhein (similar to the Glögg we knew from living in Andersonville, the Swedish and lesbian neighborhood where we lived in Chicago), we made a toast to the holiday season.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Virgin Glögg
a recipe from the Swedish Museum's Jamarkand in Chicago

Glögg spices (cinnamon, raisins, almonds, cardamom)

2-12 oz. cans frozen cranberry juice concentrate

12 oz. can frozen purple grape juice concentrate

12 oz. can frozen apple juice concentrate

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Thaw and mix juice concentrates together with vinegar and keep refrigerated.

Simmer 1 package glogg spices in 1 cup water in tightly covered pot for one hour. Add boiled spices and water to glogg liquid. Bring to a simmer and turn off heat. Let cool and leave in room temperature for one day. Strain and pour back into bottles. Save the drunken raisins to serve with the glogg.

Heat with water in a 2:1 ratio and serve

The Christmas Marketplace

As I've posted before, we always try to add some fun to our NYC doctors' visits, like checking out a specialty shop or going to a museum.  Yesterday, we didn't really have a set destination but knew we'd wander the area around Union Square.  Upon exiting the parking garage, we immediately spotted the telltale kiosks of a festival and I remembered that it was the Christmas Market.  For the time we had before our appointment, we wandered among the stalls:

• sampling salsas and chocolates
• ordering Belgian waffles with gingerbread sauce (speculoos) from Wafels and Dinges and also a variety of Persian soups (vegetable, lentil, and chili), plus the best cookies ever from Rubyzaar (Kashmir with almonds and cardamom: HoiAn with chocolates and espresso) and chewy sweet pastel French macaroons.  
• drinking Gluwhein and hot chocolate
• selecting a precious, brightly-colored, whimsical print of two children flying over the Chrysler Building by an artist named Edie (you can purchase prints at her site)
• having a mini-hand spa treatment with Israeli Dead Sea Salt that left my hands feeling so soft (we bought the scrub because it helps with psoriasis and dry skin)
• and just wandering through stalls of knit wear, teas and spices (laid out just like a Silk Road merchant), Celtic and also Tibetan tchotchkes, puppets, toys, jewelery, and so much more, while also people-watching, which is a wonderful sport in NYC

Just a wonderful reminder of why I love NYC (besides, it makes going to the doctor just so much better).

All Bud Wants for Christmas . . .

. . . is to lose his front tooth!

Bud is eagerly, and albeit a little nervously, waiting to lose his first tooth, right up top in the middle.  It is very wiggly, especially with all his attentions.  He's so excited that he's even written a letter to the Tooth Fairy to tell her it's coming soon.

I hope so.

I Have a Golden Ticket!

"Mommy, Charlie found the golden ticket!" was the first thing said to me last night by the kids after we got home late from NYC.  They've been listening to their teacher read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.  I get periodic updates on the plot (I read it years ago and mostly know the story from the original Gene Wilder film, not liking the Tim Burton version as well) and they have been eagerly waiting to see if Charlie would get to go to the factory (being young, I guess they didn't just assume from the title).  And one day, when they told me about the workers in the factory that people had only glimpsed in the windows of the factory and I called them Oompa Loompas, they got mad at me because that hadn't  been mentioned in the book yet!  The kids have even taken to making paper Wonka Bars and hiding golden tickets in them.  But in their candy factory, everyone is a winner!

Mommy's Magic Bean Pot

I'm the New England Strega Nona!

I picked up a redware bean pot at Sturbridge Village two weeks ago, wanting to make my very first batch of Boston Baked Beans after attending the New England cooking lecture.  So, after prepping the navy beans and mixing in the ingredients sans salt pork, I put my big pot in the oven and left it there for most of a day, just like Yankee goodwives would've done after a day's bread baking (as the hot oven cooled overnight).

MMMMmmmmm, so much better than pork 'n beans in a can!  Not too sweet, not too sticky, just right.  And it makes a lot.

Even better with cornbread!

-=-=-=-=-=-

Boston Baked Beans
*I halved the recipe.  And I imagine, should you not have a magic bean pot, you could bake this in any covered   dish.

1 lb dried  navy beans, sorted, rinsed, and pre-soaked using your favorite method (overnight or boiled and simmered), retaining soaking water
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1/4 cup molasses
1 medium onion, sliced

Preheat oven to 300F.

Mix brown sugar, mustard, and molasses with 1 3/4 cup reserved soaking liquid.  Then alternate layers of prepped beans with sliced onions and "sauce,"

Cover and bake for 5-7 hours.  Add more liquid if needed.

Boston Beanpot Cookery

The Glee Saga

Tonight's "Glee" special was fun, but Artie was right--the Star Wars holiday special in 1978 was fantastic!!!!  And I absolutely remember watching it, Wookiees and all.

Today's Specialist

Today, we ventured down into NYC--near Union Square, this time--to see a pain and palliative care specialist who is a neurologist by training.   We got to town early and had a wonderful time cruising the Christmas Market in the square, but more on that later.  I don't think I've ever seen a more depressing waiting room before--discomfort, pain, suffering, and all the attendant emotions clear on their faces and in their postures.  I felt healthy in comparison.

The nurse practitioner saw me first, performing all manner of neurological and physical diagnostics and taking a very complete history after reading the various papers I brought along.  Then we met the doctor, who performed even more diagnostics.  And said he doesn't believe the pain is from the disc.  He thinks the disc pain has pretty much resolved itself (which he said right after I managed to touch my hands to the floor!).   He believes the pain is in the coccyx.  Though, he isn't sure what the relationshipof the herniated disc and the coccyx pain is though they happened together, saying it was a very good question.  He had some ideas for prescription medicines (pain killers and nerve blockers) and wants me to see his colleague who specializes in injections (I have an appointment at the end of January).  I'd been pretty conservative about what I'd take (so far, no opiates this year), but I'm ready to try something.

So, I'm supposed to see how the pain meds work and to try a bit of sitting, if I can find a comfortable position and don't hurt (i.e. he doesn't think I'll hurt the disc).  I'm not exactly cautiously optimistic, just glad there is a new path to try.

A Huge Thank You

A big grateful thank you to Miss R who babysat the kiddos during a holiday playdate that lasted three hours (about an hour longer than expected, because we got stuck in traffic).  My two and her three (well, probably not the baby) played outside, played inside, ate dinner, and watched holiday specials.  The kids said it was the Best.  Playdate.  Ever.

A big thanks also to Mrs. S who met them after school and drove them to the playdate and who stood by in case we might need more help.

Thank you both for making today possible!  

Right Now

Sitting in traffic on the way home from a long day in the city.

I Love NYC

Right Now

Defrosting ice off windshield so we can head to NYC to see pain and palliative care specialist.