Easter Recipes

I realized that I hadn't posted my Easter menu recipes.  Here you go!  My favorites were the bread, pimiento cheese sandwiches, the noodle souffle, and the ambrosia gelatin mold.  I guess that's everything but the ham.

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Noodle Souffle

Preheat oven to 325F.  Remove 1/2 pound sweet butter and 1/2 pound cream cheese from refrigerator and let come to room temperature.

Cook 1 pound wide egg noodles in boiling salted water until just done. Drain.  Meanwhile, set out a 3 quart Pyrex or other baking dish.

In mixer, cream butter and cream cheese together with 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar.  Mix well.  Add 9 eggs, one at a time, beating well.  Add 4 cups sour cream, 1/2 cup lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon salt.  Taste for sour, sweet, and salt.  All flavors should be strong.  

Turn noodles into pan; pour cream cheese batter over noodles.  Stir lightly.

About an hour before serving, preheat oven to 325F and bake noodle souffle until puffed and browned.  Leftover portions may be reheated, uncovered, in oven or toaster oven. 

The Best of Bloodroot, Volume 1, Vegetarian Recipes

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Pimiento Cheese
Makes 4 cups
Prep: 15 min.

11/2 cups mayonnaise
1 (4-oz.) jar diced pimiento, drained
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce (Margie added a bit more)
1 tsp. finely grated onion (Margie added a bit more)
1/4 tsp. ground red pepper
1 (8-oz.) block extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, finely shredded
1 (8-o.z) block sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded

Stir together first 5 ingredients in a large bowl; stir in cheeses. Store in refrigerator up to 1 week.

Jalapeño Pimiento Cheese: Add 2 seeded and minced jalapeño peppers.

Cream Cheese-Olive Pimiento Cheese: Reduce mayonnaise to 3/4 cup. Stir together first 5 ingredients, 1 (8-oz.) package softened cream cheese, and 1 (53/4-oz.) jar sliced salad olives, drained. Proceed with recipe as directed.

Pecan Pimiento Cheese: Stir in 3/4 cup chopped pecans, toasted.

  

Rev. M

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Cardamom Easter Braid

1/2 cup milk

1/4 cup water

1 large egg

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces

3 cups bread flour

1/3 cup sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

grated zest of 1 lemon

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom or 8 cardamom pods, crushed

2 3/4 teaspoons bread machine yeast

1 1/4 cups golden raisins or chopped glaceed dried fruit

1 egg white mixed with 1 teaspoon water for glaze

raw or decorating sugar, for sprinkling

Place the dough ingredients, except the raisins or fruit, in the pan according to the order in the manufacturer's instructions.  Program for the Dough cycle; press Start.

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.  When the machine beeps at the end of the cycle, press Stop and unplug the machine.  Immediately turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface.  Pat into a fat rectangle and sprinkle with raisins or fruit.  Fold the dough over in thirds and knead gently to distribute evenly.  Cover with a clean tea towel and let rest on the work surface for 15 minutes to relax the dough.

Divide the dough into 3 equal portions.  Using your palms, roll each section into a fat rope about 15 inches long and tapered at each end.  Be sure the ropes are of equal size and shape.  Place the 3 ropes parallel to each other and braid like you are braiding hair.  Adjust or press the braid to make it look even.  Transfer to the baking sheet.  Tuck the ends under, pinching the ends into tapered points.  Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until the dough is almost doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Twenty minutes before baking, set the oven rack in the middle of the oven and preheat it to 375F.

Beat the egg white and water for the glaze with a fork until foamy.  Using a pastry brush, brush the tops fo the loaves with the egg glaze and sprinkle liberally with the sugar.  Bake for 40-45 mintues, or until the loaves are golden brown and the bread sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom with your finger.  Cool on the baking sheet on a rack.  Let cool to room temperature before slicing.

Beth Hensperger, The Bread Lover's Bread Machine Cookbook

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Ham

Always ham for Easter and we’d pick off the chewy dark bits as soon as it was out of the oven.  Very good the next day cut up into macaroni and cheese.

To make red eye gravy, merely boil ham drippings and add water.  Some people add coffee.

Bake uncovered at 325°F for 1 1/2-2 hours.

Mom

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Green Bean Casserole

The old standby.  Everybody has this for the holidays.  Though, it is hard to remember where they keep those onions in the stores.  Mama had a devil of a time finding them the first year we made Thanksgiving.  She’d never had it before and now loves it.

2-16 oz. cans whole green beans, drained (can also use frozen)

1 can Cream of Mushroom soup

½ cup milk

Dash pepper

1 teaspoon soy sauce

1-2.8 oz. can of French-Fried Onions

            Combine soup, milk, soy sauce and pepper.  Stir in green beans and ½ can of onions.  Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes or until hot; stir.  Top with remaining onions.  Bake 5 minutes.

                                                                                                                                                               

Mom

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Miss B's Dinner Rolls

1 1/4 cup water (less 1 tablespoon if you use liquid milk)
1 tablespoon skim milk powder (Miss B just uses milk)
2 tablespoons shortening
2 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
3 1/2 cup unbleached white flour
1 1/2 teaspoon yeast

Combine ingredients in container of bread machine. Use on dough setting.

Remove dough from machine. Punch down. Roll into dough log and pinch into 12 balls. Place in greased muffin tin. Brush with melted butter. Cover with towel and set in warm place to rise 20-25 minutes.

Preheat oven to 375F. Bake 15-20 minutes or until golden brown (can partially bake, 7-11 minutes and then freeze and/or reheat/finish off later).

Miss B

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Ambrosia Gelatin Mold

1-8 oz. box lemon jello

1 ½ cups boiling water

1-17 ¼ oz pineapple tidbits

2-11 oz. cans mandarin oranges, drained

3 cups miniature marshmallows

1 cup sweetened flaked coconut

            Place gelatin in a large metal bowl.  Add boiling water and stir until dissolved.  Drain pineapple in a strainer set over 2- to 4-cup measure.  Add enough cold water to pineapple juice to bring liquid to 1 ¾ cups.  Add to gelatin.  Half fill a large bowl with ice cubes and cold water.  Set bowl with gelatin in ice bath and stir occassionally with a rubber spatula until mixture is as thick as unbeaten egg whites.  Remove bowl of gelatin and fold in remaining ingredients.  Pour into mold.

            Refrigerate at least 4 hours until very firm, or up to three days.  After 20-30 minutes, and if marshmallows are sticking up, push them down.  To unmold, dip mold up to rim in warm water about 10 seconds.                                                                                                                                                               

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Marion's Carrot Cake 

2 cups flour

2 tsp. Baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp. cinnamon

3 eggs, beaten

3/4 cup oil

3/4 cup buttermilk

2 cups sugar

2 tsp. vanilla

1-8 oz. can crushed pineapple

1 1/2 cups grated carrot

3 oz. flaked coconut

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional: I've never used it)

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Combine flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon. Set aside.

Combine eggs, oil, buttermilk, sugar, vanilla. Beat until smooth.  Stir in flour mixture, raisins, chocolate chips, pineapple, carrots, coconuts, and walnuts.

Pour into two greased and floured 9' round pans.  Bake at

Cream cheese frosting

3/4 cup of softened butter

4-3 oz. packages of cream cheese, softened

2 tsp. vanilla

3 cups powdered sugar

Combine butter and cream cheese, beat until light and fluffy. Add vanilla and sugar and beat until smooth.

Goo

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Cake Rex

I guess I have dinosaurs on the brain, because I thought Goo said "cake rex."  But no, it's Cake Wrecks, "when professional cakes go horribly wrong."

It really is the king of hilarious sites!

Hip-Hop Bunny in the House

Bud started Easter day a little earlier than we expected, waking up at 6 a.m..  Luckily, we managed to convince him to stay in bed until closer to 7.  Lucky, mainly because he and Sis, who was drowsy but awake, didn't seem to immediately remember that it was Bunny Day.  After lolling in bed a bit more ourselves, we finally got the kiddos, who then were fully in the Easter moment and ready to find eggs.  They barely waited upstairs as we brushed our teeth, slowly inching down so that they could spot plastic eggs in various hiding places.

"The Easter Bunny really came!"

Yep, she sure did (our Easter Bunny is a girl, a la The Country Bunny and the Golden Shoes.).   

In addition to the plastic eggs in the house, they peeked onto the porch and noticed that the baskets were filled!  We  all donned coats--it was probably just right above freezing and very blustery--and went to the enclosed porch, where the bunny had eaten some of the carrots we'd  left and taken our dyed eggs.  And of course, filled the baskets with goodies.

Bud immediately gathered up all the edibles--chocolate bunny, peeps, and marshmallows (I know, who needs peeps and marshmallows?  But now, here on Monday morning, I'm here to say they are all gone!!!!).  Sis on the other hand put her fingertips of both hands to her little mouth and squealed, "oh my!"  She liked the Pet Shop animals that Gommie had sent "via the Easter Bunny."  Bud was too busy fighting the tape on his marshmallow egg to notice the drumsticks Gommie had sent; he played with them later in the day . . . when the cany was all gone.  

It was only then that the kiddos noticed that there were plastic eggs all over the porch, some of them in the shapes of various dinosaurs.  Sis particularly liked finding the dino eggs while Bud realized the other eggs held little toys, mainly plastic dinosaurs and other animals.

 

We all got cold and so moved back inside where more dino and toy-filled eggs beckoned.  However, halfway through their search, which had been zealous at first, the kiddos merely stopped to play with what they had found.  I think perhaps our bunny had been overzealous herself in the number of eggs needed.  Interest resumed, later.  And soon their were plastic dinos, little bunnies, and egg halves all over the floor.

Breakfast was some oatmeal and a lot of candy, followed by getting dressed for the outside "real" egg hunt, with the dyed eggs we'd left the bunny.  It was blustery and bitter outside, which rushed along the hunt while diminishing some enthusiasm.  Sis would only pick up the "real" hard-boiled, dyed eggs, so Bud picked up all the plastic eggs she wouldn't and the real ones he found.  It's not that they didn't have fun, just that it was less comfortable than ideal.  Neighbors got a kick out of it, with at least one stopping in her car to say that kids were the best part of Easter.  True.  Followed closely by chocolate bunnies.

There was more candy at church, in eggs hidden all over the grounds.  However, the egg hunt was after service, which Sis and Bud sat (mostly) patiently through.  See, they had new-to-them  stuffed dinos.  Our church is preparing for a tag sale and Mama had spotted a stuffed dino in the mix.  I popped my head in and asked the woman in charge if I could put our name on it.  She offered it to me flat out, saying there were three altogether.  Five dollars later, we have new Triceratops, Braciosaurus, and T-Rex critters (I only botched the distribution, handing them all to Bud because Sis had moved on.  Sis came back and wanted the Triceratops, her favorite dino.  We're still have ownership issues).  Bud helped the dinos dance to the various hymns and they both dragged their new booty up to the front for the message for all ages (during which Bud shouted out "candy" when asked what he thought of when he thought of Easter; Sis said bunnies.  Of course.).

The egg hunt followed, with bunny-decorated egg cartons so each child knew to find only 12 eggs (so there were enough for all).  And despite there being eggs everywhere, the kids were fastidious in their choice of colors--Sis was trying to gather all the pinks ones.  Soon we had our fill and retired to fellowship to check out the loot.  Sis developed a technique of cracking the egg over her paper bag so as not to spill any, quite an economy of motion.  Bud broke them out over the floor and ate them almost as soon as he opened them.  They played with that candy--Skittles, M&Ms, Twix, SweetTarts, Smarties, Milky Ways--the rest of the day, using Gommie's spring-like paper plates and napkins to make candy shops.  We shared cupcakes, pimiento cheese sandwiches, and carrot cake with everyone.  And then soon went home for more leftovers.

The rest of the day found us playing with our Playdoh Easter set and more tinker toys (which Bud made into a mic stand so his trio/duo of dinos could sing a song), taking a rest (while I read The Joy Luck Club, our Hungry Book Club April selection) and surprisingly not recreating any egg hunts with all the plastic eggs.  

I guess they were just done with eggs.  Which is why they were asleep by 6:30 . . . and then slept in today!!

A pretty good Easter, altogether!

Happy Easter!

May you and yours have a beautiful spring day filled with rainbow-hued eggs and tasty chocolate bunnies!

My Day, Continued

Everything went pretty much as planned in the last post, except we ate a little late and the egg hunt was after rest . . . 

12:30  We eat.  Sis loved her rolls; Bud loved his mac and cheese.  The noodle souffle was delightful.  And everyone scarfed the green bean casserole.

1:30  We rest.  Goo and I nap while the kids watch tv; Ma, Gong, and Mama clean the kitchen.

2:30  Rest time is over--time for dessert.  The ambrosia jello mold is very popular, followed closely by the carrot cake.

3:00  Let's do our Chinese homework together!  Ma and Gong help Bud and Sis make their "shape houses" with squares, triangles, circles, and stars, based on a book we read in class about a zebra who liked to draw.

3:30 It's egg hunt time!  (It's a practice for the egg hunt tomorrow).  They hadn't even noticed that the eggs had been around since rest time.  But once they did--watch out!  At some point, Bud stopped to count his and then pretty much gave all the eggs he found after that too Sis.  We got to practice our "hotter-colder" game.  

5:00 Exhaustion seeps in.  We start wrapping up the day, with cleaning up and a little something to eat.

5:30  Put carrots, dyed eggs, and empty baskets on the porch for the Bunny.  Kiss Ma, Gong, and Goo goodbye.

6:30  In bed.  Asleep.  Mama and I finish cleaning up from the day and grab a bite to eat for ourselves.  The cardamom bread is gone.

8:00  Time to be the bunny.

9:00  We're heading to bath and bed too.

9:30  Good night and happy Easter to all!

My Day

5:30 a.m.  Bud decides he's had his 11 hours--mercy, maybe it wasn't about his bedtime but the fact that he doesn't think he needs more sleep.  He's wrong.

6:30 We finally let Bud get out of bed.

7:30 Ma and Gong call to say they are on their way and should be here by 8:30, having picked up Goo in Manhattan.  The kids are treated to a special morning viewing of "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown," one of Mama's favorites.  

8:30  Start kugel by boiling noodles (remember:  your making 1/2 batch so you don't need 9 eggs!).  Hopefully the family will arrive.  The kids will be thrilled.  Mama makes breakfast sandwiches for them while I eat more cardamom bread.

9:30  Start rolls.  Sis is very excited that we are making the rolls from scratch, even if that term confused her.   We'll probably do a practice egg hunt with everybody, inside or out depending on the rain (yes, it's raining).  Huh, I haven't my leftover cascarrones from last year--the confetti-filled eggs of Texas fiesta traditions--though, I'm not sure I want those broken here in the house.

10:00  Ham goes in the oven at 325F for 1 1/2-2 hours.  Remember to make cream cheese frosting for the carrot cake I made last night.  Somewhere in here, while kids are playing, make the pimiento cheese sandwiches (the cheese spread has been in the fridge since last night).  Cute little triangles, no crust, yummy cheese spread.  

11:30  Put the rolls in the oven, along with the green bean casserole.

12 noon  Lunch, except we always go over schedule by about 30-45 minutes.

I'm So Proud of Myself

I made a gorgeous artisanal-like, elaborate, braided Cardamom Easter bread for our early Easter celebration tomorrow with Goo, Gong, and Ma.  WOW!  It's lovely.  And looks so impressive!  I can't believe I made it.  I haven't ever made anything like it.  I should confess that I used the bread machine to make the dough, having gotten the recipe out of my new favorite cookbook, Beth Hensperger's The Bread Lover's Bread Machine Cookbook. And that's okay.  I still had to do the punching, proofing, braiding, egg wash, and decorative sugar myself.  Oh, and that lemony-cardamom smell wafting through the house.  Amazing.

So what did I do?  When it had cooled, I sliced off an end to try!  Forget a showstopping presentation tomorrow.  I wanted to try my incredible creation while it was really fresh.  So wonderful.  So delicious.  Mama is enjoying picking the sugar crust off the top.  

At this rate, I hope there is some leftover tomorrow!

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Cardamom Easter Braid

1/2 cup milk

1/4 cup water

1 large egg

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces

3 cups bread flour

1/3 cup sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

grated zest of 1 lemon

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom or 8 cardamom pods, crushed

2 3/4 teaspoons bread machine yeast

1 1/4 cups golden raisins or chopped glaceed dried fruit

1 egg white mixed with 1 teaspoon water for glaze

raw or decorating sugar, for sprinkling

Place the dough ingredients, except the raisins or fruit, in the pan according to the order in the manufacturer's instructions.  Program for the Dough cycle; press Start.

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.  When the machine beeps at the end of the cycle, press Stop and unplug the machine.  Immediately turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface.  Pat into a fat rectangle and sprinkle with raisins or fruit.  Fold the dough over in thirds and knead gently to distribute evenly.  Cover with a clean tea towel and let rest on the work surface for 15 minutes to relax the dough.

Divide the dough into 3 equal portions.  Using your palms, roll each section into a fat rope about 15 inches long and tapered at each end.  Be sure the ropes are of equal size and shape.  Place the 3 ropes parallel to each other and braid like you are braiding hair.  Adjust or press the braid to make it look even.  Transfer to the baking sheet.  Tuck the ends under, pinching the ends into tapered points.  Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until the dough is almost doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Twenty minutes before baking, set the oven rack in the middle of the oven and preheat it to 375F.

Beat the egg white and water for the glaze with a fork until foamy.  Using a pastry brush, brush the tops fo the loaves with the egg glaze and sprinkle liberally with the sugar.  Bake for 40-45 mintues, or until the loaves are golden brown and the bread sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom with your finger.  Cool on the baking sheet on a rack.  Let cool to room temperature before slicing.

Beth Hensperger, The Bread Lover's Bread Machine Cookbook

Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

If it's 6:30 p.m., at my house, my kids are in bed.  Asleep.

Sound asleep.  No talking, not tossing.  Just snoring.

Yep.

6:30 p.m.

It's crazy.  But they have switched back to their old bedtime, the one they've pretty much had, with the exception of a few weeks on either side of a time change as they somehow subconsciously know that a switch is coming, since they were babes.  We'd tried to hold them to 7:30 right after the time change, and it worked for a bit.  But they kept getting up earlier and earlier, until they were only getting 11 hours of sleep.  NOT enough.  So, we gave in and moved bedtime back to 6:30 so they can sleep a full 12 hours before they wake at 6:30 a.m.  I still wish they'd get a little more.  Or sleep in a little later.  But I work with what I've got.

Easter Menu Updates

This is the Easter menu for which Mama is shopping as I type:

Appetizer--Pimiento cheese sandwiches

Entree--ham; noodle souffle (for me)

Sides--green bean casserole; macaroni and cheese; tossed salad; mixed greens; rolls

Desserts--Ambrosia gelatin mold; carrot cake; cardamon Easter bread

It might still change . . . and I just feel like I'm forgetting something.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: Prologue

I'm already planning meals for this summer!  

See, I have a list of the possible produce that will be in our CSA (community-supported agriculture) share this summer (though, we're waiting for confirmation of our share).  And there are so many I have never cooked or never even heard of.  So, if you have recipes or suggestions for any of the following, please let me know because I'm starting to compile a file of recipes so I'm ready when the fruits and vegetables arrive:

• broccoli rabe
• kale
• dandelion greens
• garlic scapes
• Hakurei turnips
• beets
• purple peppers
• radishes
• escarole
• leeks
• arugula
• fennel
• sweet peppers

There are other ingredients that I've made before but will be looking for even more recipes for, including:

• cabbage
• broccoli
• summer squash
• collard greens
• green beans
• eggplant
• sweet corn
• carrots
• tomatoes
• basil
• potatoes
• apples
• acorn squash
• cauliflower

It's going to be a bountiful, suprising, delicious summer!

Of Art and Poetry

Poetry and the visual arts have long gone hand in hand, with ekphrasis (see also here)--or written celebration of paintings and sculpture--appearing in ancient Greek and Latin.  Poetry is a wonderful way for adults and children to explore art through words together. So, in honor of National Poetry Month in April, I include several poetry patterns that are easily adapted for children and can be done in groups.  For more creative poetry patterns, see here.

These poems can be created in museums in front of real works of art or at home using reproductions (most museums allow visitors to take notes on paper as long as you use a pencil and do not use walls or vitrines as a writing surface).  To begin, choose a work of art that interests you and your child.  Spend some time looking at and talking about it.  Then, pick an appropriate poetry pattern (younger children might have a hard time comprehending the syllables of a haiku or the spelling of an acrostic), and begin to fill-in-the-blanks.  You might even try more than one pattern for the same work of art or the same pattern for several works of art.  A great activity once the poem is completed is to write it on a new sheet of paper and illustrate it (this is best done at home after a museum visit, as museums often restrict crayons/colored pencils in galleries unless part of an official museum program with accompanying staff). 

Happy National Poetry Month!

• Acrostic: With the letters of a word spread out over several lines, use the letters in words describing the work of art. For example,

• Cinquain--An unrhymed five-line poem.

Line 1: one word (subject of the poem)

Line 2: two words (adjectives) that describe Line 1

Line 3: three words (action verbs ending with “-ing”) that relate to Line 1

Line 4: four or five words or a complete sentence (feelings) that describe the subject or are related to it in some way

Line 5: one word that sums up Line 1 or is a synonym of Line 1

• Diamante:  Use a four-line structure that creates a diamond shape.

Line 1: a word that comes to mind when looking at the work of art

Line 2: an action phrase based on what you see or sense in the work

Line 3: a comparison using “like” or “as” between something in the work and something else in the world

Line 4: another word that comes to mind when looking at the work of art

• Haiku:
  Line 1: 5 syllables
  Line 2: 7 syllables
  Line 3: 5 syllables

ILVTOFU

How's that for a license plate?

Not in Colorado, where the DMV misinterpreted the vegan driver's love of tofu.

SNOW!!??!!

Yep, it snowed yesterday.

Well, maybe more like flurried, since nothing stuck.

But we drove through two pretty intense snow squalls on our way to Chinese that caused the highway to back up.

No wonder we can't plant flowers until Mother's Day!

Brown Fat

No, this is not a recipe for a roux.

It's a kind of fat that researchers have just discovered and located in human adults that burns more calories, particularly when activated in cold temperatures.  Babies have this fat in abundance because they can't shiver their muscles to stay warm; neither can mice, who have lots of brown fat. But scientists always thought it went away completely in adults.  Not true.  

Hmmm, I'm moving to Canada!

That Time of Year Again

It's Passover again and I am avidly reading cookbook author, food essayist, and Jewish culinary historian Joan Nathan's answers to readers questions regarding appropriate and appetizing foods for their Seders in the NYTimes (see additional links at bottom of her post).

But I'm not Jewish, you say?

True.

But for years I lived in New York and Chicago where Jewish holidays were more widely observed than in Texas or here in Connecticut.  I am also an aficionado of food history and culture and have several friends who are culturally if not religiously Jewish.  And so I'm not only aware of but also really interested in the foods of Ashkenazic and Sephardic Passover traditions.   Besides, I just finished Brooks's People of the Book fictionalized account of the Sarajevo Haggadah, the 14th century illustrated manuscript of the text (well, there are several versions now--feminist, GLBT, green, UU--almost any point of view) used during a Seder.  

We've had Seders at our church, being a UU congregation--with tzimmes and haroset and matzo ball soup and kugel (I know, I know, that is more for Rosh Hashanah, since there is flour in the noodles usually and that is not kosher for Passover, but it is in the spirit--besides, the only rules for our Seder are vegetarian dishes and no obvious breads).  But our meal doesn't approach the foods described by Nathan in her NYTimes column or in her books (I gleefully acquired her tome, Jewish Cooking in America at the booksale, with all its wonderful history.  And many vegetarian recipes for dairy meals).  

Here are just a few that Nathan has highlighted this spring.  I might be trying them for Easter!  Because, if anything, our family is diverse and multicultural (which means I should probably try cleaning the cupboards, too!).

Happy first night of Passover!

(Mom--didn't one of Dad's aunts convert from Methodism to Judaism?)

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Citrus Fruit “Salady Soup”

4 tangerines
1 grapefruit
4 blood or other flavorful oranges
1 cup orange juice
2 to 4 tablespoons sugar
6 dates or figs, roughly chopped
1 pint lemon or tangerine sorbet
6 tablespoons orange blossom water
6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
½ teaspoon cumin
6 mint leaves, cut in chiffonade
¼ cup shelled and peeled pistachio nuts, roughly chopped
¼ cup toasted almonds, roughly chopped

1. Cut off the tops and bottoms of the tangerines, grapefruit, and oranges with a sharp knife. Slice off the peel and the white pith, and cut in between the white membranes to yield individual segments. Put in a large bowl with the orange juice and enough sugar to make it slightly sweet. Add the dates or figs, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate. You can do this a day in advance.

2. Just before serving, ladle some of the citrus juice into a glass dessert bowl or individual cognac snifters. Add a small scoop of the sorbet, some of the citrus slices, and a few pieces of fig or date. Splash some orange blossom water and olive oil on top. Then sprinkle with cumin and the mint leaves and scatter with a few pistachios and almonds.

Yield: 6 to 8 servings

Chocolate Macaroons 
(Adapted from “The Foods of Israel”)

3½ cups unsweetened shredded coconut
1/4 cup matzoh cake meal
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 large eggs, plus 1 egg white
½ cup (4 ounces) imported bittersweet chocolate
1/4 cup water

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and cover 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Mix the coconut, matzah cake meal and 1 cup of the sugar together in a bowl. Add the eggs and extra egg white and mix with your fingers until well blended.

3. Gently shape about 2 tablespoons of the dough into a pyramid and set on the baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining dough, leaving about 2 inches in between the cookies. Bake for about 25 minutes or until golden on top. Cool completely.

4. Melt the chocolate with the water and remaining 1/4 cup sugar in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then simmer slowly for a few minutes until the mixture starts to thicken. Cool the chocolate slightly.

5. Hold a macaroon with 2 fingers and dip half the cookie in the chocolate, so that it is half black and half white. Dry for a few moments tilted over a dish, then place on waxed paper. Repeat with the rest of the cookies. Cool completely.

Yield: 16 macaroons

My Matzo Balls

3 tablespoons chicken fat or vegetable oil
6 large eggs, well beaten
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon grated nutmeg
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1 ¼ cups matzo meal
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley.

1. Mix the chicken fat or vegetable oil with the eggs, salt, nutmeg, ginger, matzo meal and parsley together in a medium bowl. Cover and refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.

2. Bring 3 quarts water to a boil in a large pot. Take the matzo mix out of the refrigerator and, after dipping your hands into a bowl of cold water, gently form balls the size of large walnuts. Add the salt to the water and drop in the balls. Simmer slowly, covered, for about 20 minutes, remove from water with a slotted spoon, and add to the soup.

Yield: About 12 matzo balls.

PEARL NATHAN'S CHICKEN SOUP

Time: About 4 hours

5 chicken leg quarters

2 stalks celery in 2-inch chunks

2 carrots, peeled and in chunks

1 large onion, peeled and quartered

1 parsnip, peeled and in chunks

2 tablespoons chopped dill

2 tablespoons chopped parsley

Salt and pepper to taste

4 ounces escarole

Matzo balls (see recipe).

1. Place 16 cups water in a deep pot over medium heat. Add chicken legs, skimming off foam that accumulates on surface. Simmer slowly, uncovered, for 2 hours.

2. Add celery, carrots, onion, parsnip, dill and parsley. Continue cooking on low heat for 1 1/2 to 2 hours more.

3. Strain soup, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Refrigerate overnight. The next day, skim off solidified fat (save for matzo balls), bring to a boil, and add escarole and matzo balls. Serve.

Yield: About 10 servings.

Joan Nathan

Premature Publication

If you read my last post, "The Pursuit of Happiness," when I first published it, you might want to take another look.

I added some things.

See, sometimes my posts are works-in-progress that get published before I'm done with them.  Because I think I'm done.   But then sometimes I keep thinking on my topic and realize later that I'm not quite done, haven't gotten it out of my system or said exactly what or all that I wanted to say.  Sometimes, it happens right after I push "publish post" so that I can make the change immediately.   Sometimes not.

Today, I was in the car doing 75 on the highway racing to Chinese class when inspiration struck.  I got Mama on the phone and dictated my additions but she can't blog at work so she just wrote them down for me (usually, I call home but didn't have that in speed dial). 

I got home and updated the post, improving it, I think. 

The Pursuit of Happiness

Are you happy?

What makes you happy?

I've been slightly depressed about the recent spate of articles about how parents are less happy than non-parents, how children negatively affect marriages until they leave home.  I don't like to think that I'm not happy.  Perhaps especially because I realize that I'm not happy in the way I was as a child-free person, happy doing all the things I wanted to do when I wanted to do them.

And then I realized why parents must test lower on happiness scales than non-parents:  it's not really about how happy each group is but how we all define "happy."

In general, in modern American society, the pursuit of happiness is synonymous with pursuit of personal pleasure, even though they are not exactly the same thing.  We generally view happiness as the outcome of momentary, self-indulgent activities--I'm happy if I sleep in, have dessert, get a backrub, take a long bath, work on my crochet, read a chapter in my book.  And I don't get to do most of those things anymore.  

Am I happy when I help mold my children into useful, productive, happy individuals by enforcing rules, maintaining consistent consequences, listening to them, and being present for them?  Am I happy when I sweep and mop by floor, unload the dishwasher, scrub the bathtub, feed the cats?  No, because those things--those things that take up the majority of my day--are not (always) fun.  They do not make me happy in the usual, accepted sense of being fun or pleasurable.  There is contentment, satisfaction, even pride--and these are all good--but it's not what we usually consider happiness.

And I think that's okay.  For two reasons:  I realize that the current materialist/consumerist, immature definition of happiness is shallow and I understand that what I am doing is important and good.  And that makes me happy--it's just not the same happy that I feel when I do something pleasurable.  

Maybe there are different kinds of "happy?"  

Maybe child-free people and parents are both happy but in vastly different ways?  (This is not to generalize that all child-free people are self-indulgent hedonists or that all parents are miserable martyrs, just merely drawing upon the dichotomy established in these articles. Does this necessarily lead us to the conclusion that child-free people are child-like because they can still pursue personal pleasure while parents are grown-ups who don't?  Is it true, even if it is cliche)?

Maybe that is why the early years of parenthood are so difficult, as we struggle to redefine our concepts of what makes us happy?

Maybe that is why we think of children as the prime example of happy people--carefree, pleasure-pursuing, living in and for the moment?

So, it's not so bad that as a parent, I give up some of the personal pleasure that we often call happiness, to allow my children to be happy.  Which in the end makes me and my children happy.  Even if I don't feel happy everyday.  Which, in the end, is what those researchers discovered.

Because, when special moments with my children happen, such as when my children first said "mommy" or first drew me a picture, what I was wasn't "happy," it was joy.  

I Totally Forgot

Would you believe that I forgot that I have to cook Easter dinner?

Mama turned to me yesterday, saying something about the grocery list for Easter, and I stared at her blankly.  "You know, for dinner?"  

Oh, geez, in the hubbub of purchasing trinkets for Easter baskets, deciding whether the bunny is visiting on Saturday when Ma, Gong, and Goo are here, along with rain, or on Sunday when the weather will be nice, plus all the non-Easter stuff like ear infections and a new sink (it's here!  it's lovely!), I just forgot food.  

Which in itself is remarkable because usually meal planning is my favorite part of prepping for a holiday.

So, here's what I've come up with on the fly, with asterisks denoting which ones I need to find recipes for and question marks indicating that I'm not sure if we're having it:

deviled eggs

another appetizer? (black-eyed pea dip, perhaps?)

ham (steak or butt, to be determined)

an entree for me? (thinking homemade pesto on tortellini)

macaroni and cheese

scalloped potaotes?

green bean casserole

tossed salad

jello salad* (with strawberries but no bananas)

rolls (homemade, Sis says)

cardamon Easter bread

another dessert* (chocolate mousse?  marmalade cake?  something else entirely?)

punch

I'll post the final menu-cum-recipes when I've made all the decisions.

Another One

Vermont, which has long had civil unions for gay and lesbian partners, has just legalized civil marriage, over the veto of the governor.  It joins Massachusetts, CT, and Iowa in having civil marriage, but is the first state to accomplish that through the legislature and not the courts.  YAY!!!!

Catching Up

I imagine that if I were to look back over my blog archives, I will notice that I periodically do a "dump post" where I combine every tidbit, thought, link, and the like in one long list, usually titled similar to this one.  I guess about every 4-6 weeks or so, I get behind on what I mean to post but still want and need to share (and record) some of what's going on in my head and environs.  The list this time seems longer than usual, so I've divided it into four categories--tidbits, on my mind, in the papers, and recipes.

Tidbits

• Sis and Bud have had lots of discussions recently about what they want to be when they grow up, which never fails to remind me of Paula Poundstone's joke that adults ask kids that question because they are looking for ideas!  Anyway, Bud wants to be a paleontologist, with his own museum, which will have, in addtion to dinosaur fossil bones, some racetracks and other fun things.   Sis, on the other hand, still wants to open a pizzeria, despite not actually liking pizza; when asked about this, she just says she wants to make it for everyone else.    
• I'm having total performance anxiety in Chinese class.  I'm desperate for Sis and Bud to know the answers to the teacher's questions, to participate, heck, even to sit still and listen.  And, well, Sis doesn't like to talk and Bud doesn't even like to be there, so every class has become an uphill battle.  Which isn't what I had in mind at all.  They like the teacher but, oh, the timing of the class, the length of the commute; it's just not working for us.  And everytime they don't get the word right or they won't even try, the A-student in me frets inside not just a little bit.  Hmmmm, no wonder 3+ is the age lots of classes don't want the parents in!  And I'm not even as bad as some other parents, mainly because I surpress my desire and need to force them to answer (I won't let them be rude and roll around or take the teacher's things, like one of the nannies, though)--one of them actually held his daughter in a cross-legged position and goaded her at each question (Answer, you know this one, etc).  And the one time she got up and wandered off--she's 3 ish, remember--he grabbed her and practically dragged her back.  Ugh.  I just don't want them to learn Chinese that badly.  And, really, I can't imagine that kind of pressure or punishment is conducive to a positive learning experience.  So, my kids take their loveys and don't always answer--and even if it drives me nuts--I'm going to be okay with that.  At least outwardly.  I just don't want to be one of those high pressure, overachieving parents.
• Sis wanted to know what I "do," since Mama goes to the office everyday.  I explained that I'm a mommy, but later I might go back to work in an art museum.  Sis replied, "Mommy,I want you to be our mommy.   Don't go to work."  You got it.

On My Mind:

• I hate stickers.  And I have only recently realized this about myself.  Well, no, specifically, I don't like what kids do with stickers, which is put them all over furniture and and toys and walls and glass--even inside of the window on Bud's side of the car--despite our "only on paper" rule of which I always seem to be one step behind.  When I was a kid I put stickers on letters to my pen pals or otherwise just left them on the sheets unused.  Mama put them all over her house and on paper.  Our kids do that too.  And it drives me nuts.  I would ban stickers completely except who won't let her kids get stickers from the doctor's or dentist's offices or even from grandparents?  So, I'm trying to chill about it.  Well, that, and use Mama's scraper to take off the really offensively-placed ones.
• There is a new Indigo Girls album out, Poseidon and the Bitter Bug, in support of which they will be touring soon (don't laugh, it's the very first album we've bought completely as an MP3!).  It's always exciting when there is a new album.  We can't go to their concert here in CT--too far and too much $$ to pay the babysitter--I wish they had concerts in the afternoons sometimes--like they did at a music festival outside of Chicago once--we would take the kids, especially because Bud loves "Shame on You" and their cover of the "Loquat Tree" song.  It would be great if they did a whole child-friendly album (with "Love of the Common People," "Uncle John's Band," any new ones.  It would be better than They Might Be Giants, who will be in the state soon.  Not that I'm getting tired of Laurie Berkner, right?).  We've been playing the new album but it's sharing time with our Andean panpipes CD and Vivaldi's Four Seasons so we haven't memorized it yet.
• Piggybacking on the IG album, I was thrilled to see in this month's Saveur that the restaurant Watershed (co-owned by IG's Emily Saliers) with its reknowned chef Scott Peacock (Mom, H, I gave you his cookbook with Edna Lewis a few years ago for Chrsitmas, remember?  I love Lewis's cookbooks, as much to read as to cook) was named one of the most influential restaurants in the U.S.  I told Mama we should take a kid-free weekend down to Atlanta for a meal there, and at Flying Biscuit (another Saliers' restaurant), do some sightseeing, and come home.  Connecticut is great, but some Southern food would be fabulous.  Though, I'd have to go on a veg-hiatus for those two days, I think.  Tops, two nights.  She said it would be the most expensive meal we'd ever had.  
• Back to new:  There will be a new Sarah Waters book out this summer, The Little Stranger.  I read the first chapter online and am looking forward to the rest of it.  It seems to be a little in the Wilkie Collins/ghost story/country house (I'm thinking of the estate in Woman in White) vein, and that would be great.  I loved The Night Watch, and the earlier Victorian books.  Just hoping there is a lesbian twist, but not so sure.  There's just not much (or good) historical lesbian fiction/literature out there.   But, wouldn't want to pigeonhole such an amazing writer. 

In the papers:

• If you are a nurse, someone grieving the loss of a loved one, or just someone like me who likes to keep abreast of grieving issues (for my church work), check out Theresa Brown's post on oncology nurses coping with grief over at the Well blog.
• I'm lucky I'm not in this category:  moms with "grandmas who can't be bothered."
• Breastfeeding.  Again.  On Lisa Belkin's Motherlode, in Judith Warner's Domestic Disturbances, all because of an article on the Atlantic website entitled "The Case Against Breastfeeding" by Hanna Rosin.  I can't decide if I need to rehash and then bury again all my negative experiences and powerfully sad emotions about my failed attempts to breastfeed the twins.  And then to see that some people (called scientifically illiterate by others) have examined the medical literature and found it doesn't support breastfeeding the way the popular literature makes me feel like my difficult experiences were unnecessary, which is hard to comprehend and accept.  How different would those first 6 weeks have been without the added stress and guilt of unsuccessfully breastfeeding?  But Mama says we had to do it the way we did or we wouldn't have thought we tried--but would I have needed to try so hard if I hadn't thought it was so important?  Do I think it's not important just because some researchers and doctors have conducted these studies?  Isn't it more about the contact than the nutrition?  But would there have been less anxious contact if I wasn't so disappointed?  Mama is much more Zen about it, though I think she was as conscious if not more conscious of the pain it all caused.  And in the end, I'm thankfully past the point where I can do anything about it anymore.  Though, obviously, it still matters to me . . . and to several of my mom friends who had similarly hard attempts.  Okay, I'm done with this.  For now.
• Like quizzes?  Thinking about your health?  See this.  I haven't taken the quiz yet as it hasn't worked anytime I've tried it.  But I'll keep trying.
• Why talking to your doctor about the end of your life is so important, on The New Old Age blog.  

Recipes (for full recipes, see below):

• We've been on a bread machine tear, inspired by both our friend Miss B who casually made dinner rolls so easily one afternoon during a playdate and by the bread book, The Bread Lover's Bread Machine Book by Beth Hensperger (whose cookbooks I enjoy and use).  We've made Miss B's rolls (success!), honey white bread (success!), and cinnamon raisin bread (success!).  
• I altered my Dal recipe, adding about 1 teaspoon or so of cinnamon and not pureeing the onion/garlic/ginger mix (because of forgetfulness).  Came out great.

• Made the kiddos an adapted fettucine carbonara for dinner that was quite a hit, greatly surprising me but also supporting my recent discovery that they like new things.
• MMmmm, there is a bake sale at my PT office today.  With a quirky Australian goodie called a "hedgehog."  Nope, not the marzipan kind, but a no-bake graham cracker kind of treat.  Mmmmm.  Can't wait to share them with the kids after school.

That's not all but if I wait too long to publish, it'll never get done.

-=-=-=-=-

Cinnamon Raisin Bread for Bread Machine

 
    * 1 cup water
    * 2 tablespoons margarine
    * 3 cups flour
    * 3 tablespoons sugar
    * 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
    * 1 teaspoon cinnamon
    * 2 1/2 teaspoons yeast
    * 3/4 cup raisins
Directions
    1. 1Add all the ingredients in order given except the raisins.
    2. 2Add raisins in on the "add in" beep.
    3. 3Bake on "sweet bread" setting.


I added an extra tablespoon of sugar, using brown instead of white.  And was generous with that teaspoon of cinnamon.  I soaked the raisins in hot water while waiting for the "add-in" beep.  Oh, and I used butter not margarine but probably should've softened it a bit more.  In the end, as some reviewers mentioned, it was very much like a bagel.

recipezaar.com

-=-=-=-=-

Honey White Bread

2/3 cup water

2/3 cup milk

2 tablespoons canola oil

3 tablespoons honey

3 3/4 cups bread flour (I only had regular unbleached white)

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon vital wheat gluten

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 3/4 teaspoons bread machine yeast

Place all ingredients in the pan according to the order in the manufacturer's insturctions.  Set crust on medium and program for the Basic cycle; press Start.

When the baking cycle ends, immediately remove the bread from the pan and place it on a rack.  Let cool to room temperature before slicing.

Beth Hensperger, The Bread Lover's Bread Machine Book

-=-=-=-=-=-

Fettucine Carbonara

1 egg (Eggbeaters work)

1 tablespoon whipping cream, light cream, or milk

1 tablespoon butter

4 oz. bacon, chopped (I used deli ham today)

4 oz. fettucine

¼ cup parmesan or romano

1 tablespoon parsley

 

            Let egg, milk, and butter stand at room temperature for 1 hour.  Cook bacon til crisp; drain on paper towels and chop. 

            Cook pasta.  Drain well.  Return to saucepan over low heat.  Toss butter in pasta.  Beat together egg and cream til just combined.  Pour egg mixture over pasta, tossing til well coated.  Add bacon, cheese, and parsley; toss to mix.  Season with pepper.  Serve immediately.

 

Effin' Monday: On Faucets and Fevers

Actually, it's not all that bad.  Sis does have an ear infection and a new antibiotic to clear it up before our ENT appointment.  The doctor laughed, saying something about matching mother-daughter tubes.  Yeah, funny.  But she's probably right; my ears are still really bothering me.

And the new faucet-sink will probably be installed tomorrow.  We'll see what our plumber-neighbor's schedule looks like.  We're going with under sink filtration so as to avoid the extra filter up top, so there will be an extra hooked faucet just for filtered cold water.  Cool!  Perfect for summer . . .

Not that I'm thinking of summer much.  It's wet and chilly outside, with 1-2" falling through thunder this morning.

In the Thick of Parenting

A music lesson.  A special lunch at a new restaurant.  A quiet drive through spring-tinged woods.  Play.  Dinner.  Bedtime.

Then a fun night out for me.  And a close, sweet conversation when I got home.

Bed.

Not much sleep.  

Fever for Sis this morning.  Ear infection?  Something else?  

No church.  Trip to the pediatrician tomorrow.  School on Tuesday?  Cancel my appointments?

How quickly things change.

Am I happy?  Studies tell me no.  

But art tells me yes, because she said she wanted "a mommy day": 

"I was fine,

I pulled myself together

Just in time,

To throw my self away

Once my perfect world was gone
I knew,
You ruined everything in the nicest way



"You should know,

How great things were before you

Even so,

They’re better still today

Now I can’t think who I was before

You ruined everything in the nicest way



"Bumps in the road remind us

The worst of the best behind us

Only good things will find us, me and you


"Days will be clear and sunny

We’re gonna need more money

Baby you know it’s funny

All those stories coming,

True



"Despite my better efforts,

It’s all for you

the worst kind of cliché



"I’ll be with you till the day you leave

You ruined everything in the nicest way."

Singer-songwriter Jonathan Coulton, “You ruined everything in the nicest way," a song he wrote for his young daughter. (I haven't actually ever heard the song but saw the lyrics posted in the comments of Motherlode and connected with them immediately.  Now I'll go find the song.)

-=-=-=-=-=-

A chocolate recipe from the party from a new friend:

Cool & Creamy Chocolate Fondue 

 

¾ cup semi-sweet chocolate morsels

1 container (8oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed

½ tsp cinnamon

½ tsp rum or vanilla extract (optional) ß I use actual rum J

 

Combine chocolate and half of the whipped topping in a microwave safe bowl and heat on HIGH in the microwave for 1 minute until chocolate is melted and smooth (mix after each 20 second interval).

Fold in remaining whipped topping, cinnamon and rum extract, mix until smooth. Cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes.

(My note:  especially good with cinnamon pita chips)

Dr. K

 

 

Go Iowa!

No, I'm not belatedly rooting for March Madness, but celebrating Iowa's Supreme Court's delcaration that gay marriage bans are unconstitutional.  This makes Iowa the third state to declare gay marriage legal!  Wow.  I haven't been keeping up recently and didn't know Iowa was in line to make such a major decision.  Very exciting.  Now we have 3 states where we can legally live as a family.  It must make GLBT in CA sad though--to think that Iowa is more progressive!  Who knew?

In Hot Water

She was washing her hands, just the way she knows to, and the faucet broke off in her hand.  In the process it turned to the hot water and was frighteningly hot.  It scared her but she's okay (no scald or burn, as we try to get the water below 120).  Only she had to run upstairs to rinse off the soap.   It took me another 10 minutes to get the faucet off and everytime I replaced the handle it would fall off.   So our wonderful plumber-neighbor came over immediately and gave us a quick fix.  Until we get a new faucet and sink, long in the planning but much delayed as not completely necessary, later this weekend.  We have to choose both and have plumber-neighbor come back over, probably Saturday or Monday, depending on our timing and his schedule.   It actually was my next choice for home repair--the hot-cold of the faucet is unpredictable, the sink old and battered, the spray hose not in working order--so as much as it was perhaps unexpected it is not unwelcome.  

A Quickie

My mind is full this morning, which is the funeral of our family friend where my entire extended family gathers today to mourn the loss and celebrate the life of a man whom I remember mainly as hilarious and warm-hearted.  And a great BBQ cook!  So, my thoughts are in Texas with them.

But my thoughts are also in Florida, where family of the woman from my church who died yesterday gather, shocked and saddened by her sudden loss.

And back in Texas with one of my aunts, who has had knee surgery and recovers in a hospital today.

And here in my community, with my friend's mom who is just beginning her journey with lung cancer.

And even right here at home, as I went to back into physical therapy this morning and the therapist (one I knew but hadn't worked with) spotted several new weaknesses and trouble areas and has a whole, challenging regimen for us that will last longer than I had expected (it's now 3 x a week for at least 8 weeks).  Mama and I have talked and will probably buy a treadmill for my daily home exercises, which we will put in the basement (and set it up as we can afford; otherwise, it might shake this old house and wake the babes).  We're waiting to see what happens.

So, big, deep, serious occupations.  But I am continually reminded of a reading on spring that I read to the kids on Tuesday during our "deli picnic" after school.  A box of books had arrived for me, including Rejoice Together, a collection of UU readings, prayers, and meditations.  I read them this one, as the sun shone overhead and the birds chirped and we enjoyed the beauty together:

Spring

Here is a day of promise!

May it be so with me, with everyone!

The gray clouds scudding overhead,

The storm clouds, rain, and the breaking sunshine,

The apple blossoms bursting in pink and white, 

The children gleefully running out to splash in puddles,

The grass green, and the buds

Straining into leaves on shrubs and trees,

And the birds singing, joyfully, in the dawn,

Strutting the lawns as proud possessors.

Everywhere life, life bursting through all fetters,

And the heart singing, protesting against gloom,

Shouting its defiance of clouds and cold;

The gay heart exulting in storm and sunshine alike.

This is a day that aches with the promise of life,

Life which will not be denied.

Let all hearts swell with glad acceptance,

Joyful with the sense of the always becoming,

For out of earth, into the air and sunshine, out of ourselves,

There rises spirit in us,

Neither dark nor threat shall thrust it down.

It rises irresistible in us.

This is the season's gift.

Robert T. Weston

Last Laugh

 . . . at least for tonight.  Check out The Lede's post on journalistic and other April Fool's Day classics.  Some hilarious ones from the BBC, including the 1957 Swiss spaghetti harvest and last year's flying penguins. 

Lighting a Candle

I'm lighting a candle tonight for a woman from our congregation (who had recently relocated to Florida) who died suddenly and unexptectedly this afternoon.  She was loved by many and will be missed.

Government Fights Obesity Epidemic

Check this out:

Lose Pounds
A Quick-Fix Solution for the Obesity Epidemic
-- By Mike Kramer, SparkPeople Contributor

WASHINGTON DC, APRIL 1--
Alarmed by a growing obesity rate across the country over the last decade, the United States Government has instituted sweeping changes in its system of measurements and weights.

The most significant change involves increasing the value of the pound. One current pound will be valued as 1.1 pounds under the new system. What does this mean? Fewer pounds per person. For example, a person who previously weighed 167 pounds would now weigh just 152 pounds.

"We think these changes will help the country solve its obesity problem," said April Wahn, Community Director of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA). "When eating right and exercising don’t work, these new standards can help people reach a healthier weight. It’s not the only answer, but it’s a start."

To underscore this point, Wahn estimates that this change alone would bring the number of overweight Americans down dramatically, from 63% to 49%.

To help people adjust, the US Office of Weights and Standards will make available scale calibration kits that can be used to bring any scale in line with the new standards. You can call 1-800-041-2009 to receive your free kit.

Consumer groups are responding to this change with enthusiasm. One local news editorial claimed, "It’s about time the government stepped in and did something about the country’s weight problem. It needs to be fixed – and quick." 10,000 scale calibration kits have already been distributed. But the biggest challenges in retail packaging, fishing regulations, and newborn weighing still remain. 

"This isn’t going to be something we can incorporate overnight," continued Wahn. "It could take years and millions and millions of dollars. But in the face of unhealthy weight levels, we’re running out of options." 

Wahn refused to comment on the growing opinion that numbers on the scale are becoming increasingly unimportant in the creation of a healthy lifestyle. 

Knock-Knock

In honor of April Fool's Day, I'll share with you a few of our knock-knock jokes at dinner last night.  Mind you, we made them up and thought they were hilarious, even if they didn't make a ton of sense.  These were the best:

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Why are you crying?

(yes, they skipped a line!)

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch who?

Bless you!

(this was hilarious)

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Willaby wallaby.

Willaby wallaby who?

An elephant sat on you!

(you have to know the song)

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Yah.

Yah who?

You've got mail.

(funny, right?  They didn't get it.)