Why Blog?

Mommy Goose (who has one of those abandonned blogs) pointed me towards an article in Sunday's paper that I had yet to see, "Blogs Falling in an Empty Forest." In general, it talks about the number of blogs that people start with high ambitions and eventually abandon due to failure to meet those ambitions. A book deal, financial independence, garnering a large audience to whom they can disseminate their ideas were frequently the goals of bloggers.

Truthfully, none of those are the reason I blog. I don't want a book deal. I don't even want to be a professional blog writer. Frankly, my skin is too thin to take much real criticism of my writing (which is why, really, I rarely even comment on other blogs, unless it's something supportive--I don't want to get flamed or into some kind of on-line disagreement about something). Since it's not my chosen profession, I don't feel this need to practice it as a craft or hone my skills--I don't proofread or spell check and rarely edit for coherence, content, or grammar (which is probably why I've dropped the blog on museum education, my chosen profession. Too much imagined pressure). Clearly, then, financial independence is not my goal. I won't be looking for advertisers or anything like that. This isn't a business venture. And I am not really interested in attracting a large audience for its own sake. Of course, I love comments but I'm not obsessed or depressed when there aren't any (which is good since I only get a few a week, with a few private emails too). And I'm not going to add any tricks or gimmicks or adjust my writing focus or content to attract extra people. I track the site with Google Analytics, but more just to see what keyword searches bring people here (the winners: Bertucci's rolls and Weight Watchers holiday recipes! Talk about being at opposite ends of the spectrum) and how often the site gets hits (about 1000 a month, but we think most of those are automatic hits by search engines. 'Cos, otherwise, it would kinda surprise (and even maybe unsettle) me that that many people that I don't know would read my stories. Which is totally why I attempt some kind of no-doubt flawed and failed anonymity. Flammable, aka Goo, you should know I didn't recognize your login for awhile and was nervous that you were commenting. I'm an idiot and eventually figured out it was you when you mentioned something that I hadn't blogged about. And Gorgon, I knew who you were but Mama didn't and was surprised to see comments. Really, what am I doing blogging publicly?? To my famous and professional blogging readers, how do you deal with that? But then, I guess, it is your job.)

This is not to say I'm against blogs that seek to do any of those things: I read professional bloggers and blogs of people who have book deals (Hi Lisa, if you still come by! Hi Karen, if you're reading today!)--and I hope it makes them financially independent. I love reading those blogs, have learned so much, and appreciate the immediate and intimate communication that a blog permits.

But I blog for three main reasons: to express myself creatively through writing as an intellectual outlet now that I'm no longer in school (mind you, I was in school until I was 33!) or actively working at my career; to communicate my thoughts, ideas, and experiences to loved ones and whoever else stops by; and to record and commemorate for posterity those ideas and experiences for myself and my kids. Sure, I could probably accomplish that in other, less public ways, but I like blogging (and not Twitter or Facebook, yet, which the article mentions as the next platform for several bloggers). Friends and family can stop by if, when, and how often they feel like it and keep up with what's going on with me here (some do, some don't. All good. I try not to assume that anyone has read this and am more often surprised when someone has). And if someone comes by and is glad to find those WW holiday recipes (or the lyrics to "Super Turkey," another popular search), that's great, because I glean quirky information from other blogs all the time.

So for now, I blog. Everyday, actually several times a day. But when it doesn't work for me, or heaven forbid, I start thinking of it as guilt-ridden like a failed diet or unfinished book, then I will stop. Until then, let's enjoy . . .

Premature Publication

If you read my last post, "The Pursuit of Happiness," when I first published it, you might want to take another look.

I added some things.

See, sometimes my posts are works-in-progress that get published before I'm done with them.  Because I think I'm done.   But then sometimes I keep thinking on my topic and realize later that I'm not quite done, haven't gotten it out of my system or said exactly what or all that I wanted to say.  Sometimes, it happens right after I push "publish post" so that I can make the change immediately.   Sometimes not.

Today, I was in the car doing 75 on the highway racing to Chinese class when inspiration struck.  I got Mama on the phone and dictated my additions but she can't blog at work so she just wrote them down for me (usually, I call home but didn't have that in speed dial). 

I got home and updated the post, improving it, I think. 

Writer's Block

I feel the need to blog tonight, and indeed have a lot to say, but am not feeling focused enough to put most of it in a post. Or posts. I have lots of blog ideas running concurrently in my head but nothing fleshed out enough to say.

For instance, I have been mulling over lesbian separatism recently, since the death of our friend, and increased communication with friends in Chicago, many of whom have separatist leanings (i.e. removing themselves as much as possible from spaces with men by creating womyn-only or even woman-born-womyn only spaces). It was never much my thing, nor was it DP's, though we did enjoy some of the women-only activities such as coffeehouse and chorus. We are so far removed from any kind of lesbian community now, though, that I look back on those days happily. Even though, especially though, now with a son, separatism makes even less sense to either one of us.

I've also been preparing my post on art. I'm so frustrated by the quality of art activities for the kiddos at the library. Two year olds shouldn't be following a pattern to make a specific-looking product that they can only produce with overwhelming help from parents. It's a big waste of time and not creative at all, regardless of how hard the librarians work at cutting out the templates. My own art projects--I run a small art group for toddlers--are much more open-ended and (hopefully) creative. For instance, at the end of the month, we're doing string painting--dip string in paint and sling it on paper and even affix it to said paper in patterns (there will be glue in the paint to help this). Messy, fun, colorful, tactile, mixed media, open-ended, no "right" way, as much about process as finished product. In this post, when I write it, I'll reference some books, my favorite ways to talk to kiddos about their art, how to talk to kids about art in museums (we're going with our other playgroup soon), and the like. With lots of righteous indignation.

I haven't written my Chinese New Year post either. Need too. Even dug up the write-up that their Ar-Ma wrote on it, with all the appropriate Thai and Chinese words so that I get it right. Chinese looms large right now, with that show (though, we're not really watching anymore, too bad) and classes starting this week.

And I was going to write about almost being done with physical therapy--and then I pulled my back last week in a combo of snow shoveling and picking up DS awkwardly, then pulled it again yesterday by turning around to hand the kiddos something in the car. Blah. I doubt I'll be done with PT this week, then. But I was going to wrap up what I had learned and what the experience had meant to me.

Oh, and two of my friends have blogs so I'm editing my own page to link to theirs. I'll add more as time passes and permits.

What does that leave? Oh, right, food. One of the big themes of this blog. Which I haven't gotten to in awhile. I had a good food week myself, and lost 2.2 lbs. My goal is 1 lb a week so this is a good week. I've been a little behind but am now catching up to where I had wanted to be. Does that make sense? Anyway, I've also been implementing some of the new ideas I had for the kids--bigger lunches, more DIY meals, and it's going okay. That, and baked chicken with rice and gravy every week. And something from Ma--they love Ma's food--they've been inhaling pork buns and noodles all weekend (we were down visiting Ma and Gong for her birthday celebration this weekend).

So that's where we are. Somewhere, but nowhere really. I'm going to bed so I can get some extra sleep. I'm having 4 kids here by myself tomorrow, to help out my friend with the new baby. I've done it once before.

And, well, that's a post in itself!

Elements of My Style

After a few months of blogging, I've realized a few things about my style. I tend to have two kinds of posts: long, narrative pieces intended mainly for faraway family and friends who want detailed kiddo updates and shorter, (hopefully) comic pieces that tickle my funny bone and (hopefully) that of any other reader. Recently, there have been a lot of the former, not as many of the latter. This is mainly because all of the funny things have happened during larger events, i.e. Day out with Thomas (where do you put the capitals in that, anyway?), and are thus embedded in those stories. But these long ones take me longer to write and, as there have been a lot recently, I am woefully behind. Meanwhile, I'm forgetting the cute, random things that happen everyday that would otherwise make it in a post.

By the way, writing for an audience that isn't the casual recipient of a late-night email, has made me very aware of grammar and spelling. I don't spell check because usually I'm pretty good (as well as an accurate typist), but I do have a habit of substituting homynyms--like warn for worn and the like--mainly because I say my sentences outloud in my head as I type. Besides, spell check wouldn't pick that up anyway. And grammar. I pride myself on being a decent grammarian, and even understanding the rules (thanks to years of Latin and Greek, and a lot less French and German). I sometimes intentionally break the rules--I like dashes and fragments. But I find that I am increasingly flummoxed by the placement of commas, at times (especially near quotes, or lists of quotes). And way too lazy to check grammargrrl.com for the rule. I am partial to the comma. And still a firm adherent to the old rule that commas go after ever item in a list, including the one before "and." I'll never forget the example my teacher used. It was about a will. The will left money to "Albus, Hermione and Morgan." Which meant Albus got half and Hermione and Morgan split the other half. If the will had read, "Albus, Hermione, and Morgan," they would've split it equally. Right. Nowadays, apparently, Hermione and Morgan would be much happier.

You should know, I believe, in storytelling anyway, that truth is relative and hyperbole is important. Poetic license is my guiding principal. DP knows this applies to everything. I naturally exaggerate by about 25%. Ask me how many people were in line in front of me at the grocery store or how many time DD dropped her Shirt in the car, and I will increase the number almost exponentially. Without even thinking about it. I think it's a Lone Star State storytelling characteristic--everything is bigger and better.

Oh, and I love titles. Usually, I think of the title before I even write the post. Like today.

Okay, enough deconstruction, back to writing my long post on our trip into the city to see Laurie Berkner.