Birth Dad

The little girl turned to Sis and Bud, "Where is your daddy?"

And they just stared at her.

It's not that we haven't discussed their parentage as a family before. Over and over again, we've explained that there was "a nice man who helped us have a baby. But we never met him." And that they have two mommies. And that some kids have two daddies. And some kids live with one parent or even someone else like a grandparent or guardian. But most kids have a mommy and a daddy. And it's all okay.

But that's a pretty long-winded answer for one kindergartener to give another.

Enter Jamie Lee Curtis and her book Tell Me about the Night I was Born, about a girl who likes to hear how her adoptive parents brought her home. And in the back is a picture of the girl's family tree, with her mom and dad on the same line with her birth mom and birth dad.

Birth dad.

That's it. An easier, simpler answer about the anonymous sperm donor whom we only know by number who helped us have the kids. Birth parents are common concepts in adoption circles. And while I usually think of terms like mom or dad as familial and not purely biological concepts, I think it could work. And then the kids can answer any questions about dads with "Yes, I do have a birth dad. But I live with my two moms," or "My Mama and my birth dad are Chinese." All without having to go into sperm. For now.

So, we tried it out on the kids last night when we re-read Curtis's book. And they liked it just fine.

Now to help them cope when other people don't understand or like that answer . . . .