The Only Constant

Sure, we've all heard the saying that the only constant in life is change.

Ha, ha, ha. I hate change.

And I've had a lot of it recently. But as my neighbor, who has had more than her fair share of life's ups and downs, says life is about settling into the "new" normal; there is no getting back to normal. I think change must be the quintessential experience of parenthood. I've had more change in three years than I've had in a lifetime, practically. It's change on speed.

And, I don't handle change well. It's partly emotional, partly physiological (see this article in the NYTimes on irritable bowel syndrome/IBS. For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with this as a teen but can remember the first bouts of it in 1st grade. So, that's why sometimes I don't handle new experiences or going places well, especially parties, parks, movies, or new places. Ask Mama, I'm much better than I used to be)--change upsets my stomach. Even small ones that other people don't notice. I'm more comfortable with the predictable (or controllable), the familiar, or at least the similar. Which makes me, at times, a boring, unadventurous, rigid but also dependable and (at least I used to be) organized gal.

Hmmmm, that doesn't sound much like parenthood, does it? So, the change of school, even the change to potty-trained, plus numerous other little changes--a friend about to move, a friend back a work, the loss of my car, a change in our household routine--have me completely on edge, when added all together. Sure, change means growth. Yada yada yada. Do you know the saying about experience? It's what you have when you don't have anything else.

My mom loves that part in the movie Parenthood where they compare life to amusement park rides, rollercoaster vs. carousel. I don't like real or metaphorical rollercoasters. But I do love a carousel.

I hope that doesn't change too.