Much Ado

I can't believe yesterday has come and gone. The kids have started school. They are preschoolers. And we survived without a hitch. I'm definitely relieved, but a little surprised. For months, several months, I've worried and cried about yesterday. And sure, some of that worry help me be prepared and to prepare the kiddos. But in the end, it wasn't awful. Yet? Maybe it will be hard and awful tomorrow, my first day doing it alone? Or maybe, with all the worry and planning, we at some point became ready for school? All of us?

Because Sis and Bud marched into school, dragging along their wheelie backpacks with snackpacks inside, went right to their cubbies and started to unpack. Sis even hung Shirt on the hook. And then Bud went off to find the tools and Sis headed straight to the sand table. Mama and I pretty much just stood there, having been so ready for tears and trouble. So, we "beep-beeped" the kids and left. We left.

Left them there. I had cried the night before while packing their snackboxes with dried apricots and crackers. How many should I pack? My word, how much do my kids eat? Would they be able to get the twist off lids open? Would they find their napkins? Would they find their little notes. Would someone help them? Who would help my babies? I had always been there to feed them.

And so, yesterday, while busily cleaning the closet, our designated keep-busy task during the first day of school, I realized it was snack time and I started to cry again. And insisted that Mama call to check on them. They were "great." The teachers "want to take them home." Whew. A few more tears, a lot more cleaning.

And the rain started to fall. We hurriedly finished cleaning and left to pick them up early because they wouldn't be able to play outside (the school recommends early pick up on rainy days during the first weeks as everyone gets settled). And as we entered the school, they rounded the corner. Buddy looked like he was trying so hard not to cry, so relieved to see us. But he didn't, just gave me a long hug. Sis sniffed Shirt and went straight for Mama. But they were both happy, or proud, maybe, and relieved. The teacher told us that they had played with fake food, making coffee for them all, and with some of the other kids. Sis had made a picture with markers. They had had a good first day. A great one. So we got all the assorted bags and pictures and book orders (YAY!) and newsletters and left to have a celebratory Chinese food lunch, despite the torrential rain. And so, it was in patches and pieces, that we learned about singing "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Hokey Pokey" and sitting on stars for circle time and Bud going to the potty and how they didn't go play outside. Luckily, there had been a note posted that allowed us to ask all the right questions about what they had done, not just "what did you do today?" Which we asked repeatedly anyway.

But it wasn't until late last night that I unpacked their snackboxes (from their new "cubbies" on the porch) and realized that Bud had eaten all his apricots but left a few crackers and Sis had eaten all her crackers but left most of her apricots. I had guess mostly right on who ate what and how much. And I cried all over again.