Resolved

My conflict is gone.  And I knew what the answer was all along.  Blogging helped.  Talking it out with Mama helped more.

We won't be taking any music classes.

We don't need them.

They don't really want them.

I don't really like them.

What I understand, what my friend Miss J (L's mom) wrote in an email about the classes they took, is that the classes are only a vehicle for our own inspiration.  Miss J said that attending class reawakened in her the love of music she had, that it enriched their home life, even if L didn't seem to participate much in the class itself.   This is exactly what happened with us.  It wasn't that the class was spectacular, but what happened afterwards was:  we danced around the living room to my favorite 80s pop, we danced with scarves, we played our instruments, we sang songs.  We spent the whole afternoon in music.  Because of class?  Not really directly.  But because I was reminded, inspired, re-energized.  And they in turn responded to my passion.

I just need to remember what I love, what I want to share, and find ways to do it.  They won't notice we aren't in class--it's not the class they really want.  It's playing with mommy.  

And I don't need to pay someone for that.