Equal But Different

It's always something with twins.

Today, Sis wanted to make dessert. So we decided on pudding. Chocolate.

But Bud found a box of tropical Jello and so that's what he wanted.

Now, I can't choose pudding over Jello, or Jello over pudding. They should each get one.

And so we made both.

That's the way with twins, oftentimes. Certainly, at this age, it's all about everything being equal but not usually the same. They both want their own candy stick from the living history museum but one wants pink and the other orange. If there's yogurt, one wants strawberry and the other raspberry.

Unless, of course, they want exactly the same one. And then I usually only have one of those!

So, my advice for twin moms: always have two of certain things but not exactly the same. (Now, I would not extend that to "two of everything" because sharing is important too. But there are some things that are not easily shared. Like lollipops or puppets or bubble wands. Depends on the kids).

Other suggestions for having two: when hysteria breaks out and they are both upset, tend to the less upset one first. I know, it's counterintuitive, but you don't want the less upset one to become more upset. Calm that one down then work on the over-the-top one.

Twin moms I know often talk about how they feel guilty that the twins always have to share their love. True, but any child with an older sibling has had that experience too. So, I try to make tiny moments count. There are times when you're dealing with just one child, like when you're putting one in the carseat/highchair/crib/bathtub, getting one dressed, or changing a diaper. Take that time to hug, kiss, tickle, and/or "I love you." Special three-second moments add up. Of course, when both moms are home, we try to spend time with just one child, but for most of the week, it is just me and the kiddos.

I'm sure I could come up with more twin advice, the practical advice I craved when I had two newborns, like how do you feed them both at once (bouncy seats or high chairs). And I'd love the answer to twin conundrums (okay, Latin scholars, conundra?) I'm having now, like how to impose consequences without punishing the innocent one and what in the world to do if they want two totally different but mutually exclusive things (like one outside and one inside).

I imagine there will be more posts on this . . .