An Early Mourning?

Last week, the moms club that I was once president of a year ago took the first step towards being disbanded. They couldn't/wouldn't/didn't elect a president. And so, according to by-laws, our local chapter will cease to exist.

And this makes me sad.

Not sad enough to be president again, because I did that once and was miserable at it. Just as the current president is. Which is probably why no one wants to be president. It's a thankless job. You work hard (or hard enough) and no one comes to anything. They just complain. About anything.

That said, I've met some really good friends through the club, friends I hope to keep for a long time. It saved me when the kids were young--gave me email to read, a place to go if I needed it, people in the same place, and people who had been there before. I went on outings with the kids (or, my favorite part, the monthly moms' nights out), got clothes and toys, got rid of toys and clothes, got and gave advice and suggestions. It was the first time that moms I didn't know let me know it was okay that we were a two-mommy family. The Membership VP when I asked about it before I joined said that no one would care. And they never did.

I've never been a greatly active or attentive member. Because I have other playgroups, I didn't need the weekly activities. I liked the holiday parties and special get-togethers. And, now that the kiddos are entering preschool, I'm sure we would have gone to even less.

So, then, why am I sad that it won't be there anymore? Perhaps because it won't be there for other people like me just starting out on the road of motherhood. But, I think more importantly, because it marks the passing of an era--the era of our babyhood and toddlerhood--that I see ending definitively with preschool in September but which this presages so forcibly/forcefully for me now. And I'm not ready.