Many Happy Returns!

Today is Pop's birthday, so we're sending happy birthday wishes through the ether to somewhere in Canada, either in Vancouver or along a railway through the Rockies, where he's vacationing with Gommie.  Hope you have a wonderful day and a fabulous trip!  Sis hopes you see bunnies and Bud wants you to eat lots of salmon.

Dinner Ups and Downs

It is the best of times; it is the worst of times.  It is an age of pickiness; it is an age of experimentation.

Yes, dinner.  I'm a bit frustrated with cooking lately, having had a few too many failed meals.  There was the minestrone soup--a huge slow cooker full--that used mealy chickpeas and freezer-burned green beans, much to my surprise.  Ruined the whole pot.  Then there was the marsala sauce I added to beautiful browned chicken, sauce that had gone bad on the shelf unbeknownst to me.  I also had a broccoli noodle soup disaster--was it the cheese?  the stock?  the broccoli?  I don't know, but even Mama could smell the funkiness when she walked in the house.  Now, these are all dishes I've made before with no problem, but sometimes it doesn't go well.  Sure, the underlying pattern is off ingredients, mostly frozen ones or prepared ones.  I use these as a crutch sometimes so I don't waste produce or so I cook at home instead of ordering in; most of the time, they're just fine. Nothing is wrong with my freezer.  I guess it just happens.  But then you have all that food to toss and extra dishes to clean and hungry people still to feed.  It's so disheartening.

I should say, though, that the chicken I "baked" in the slow cooker on Monday turned out beautiful, as did the gravy and the stock I made afterwards, all of which contributed to the best chicken and dumplings I've ever made.  Which, of course, is why I keep trying. (Please note that the chicken, gravy, stock, and dumplings were all made from scratch!)

Mama, however, is going one step beyond me.  Inspired by the intro to Michael Pollan's Cooked, which advocates for more homecooking, Mama is determined to help the kids learn to cook their favorite meals.  And not just meals like chicken and dumplings that are already in the family repertoire.  No, she said it could be anything.  So Bud chose linguine with clam sauce, while Sis asked for chicken marsala!  So Mama spent last night pouring through my cookbooks looking for recipes, deciding upon a couple in Cook's Illustrated, with some adjustments.  She's put marsala and clams and white wine on the shopping list and is determined to cook with each of them this weekend; in fact, she's really very excited.  I'm very impressed with her ambition and impressed with her determination.

But I'm also glad, especially in light of recent meals, that it's her project and not mine!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Chicken Stock
(Or it might be broth, since I don't really reduce)

bones of cooked chicken
carrots
celery
onion
garlic
water

Place all the leftover bones and bits of a (what's the word for a chicken you've taken the meat off of?) cooked chicken in a slow cooker along with a handful of chopped carrots (I used baby), a couple of stalks of celery, a quartered onion, and a couple of cloves of garlic.  Completely cover with water.  Add salt.  Cook on LOW for 8-10 hours.  Remove and discard the bits, straining liquid if necessary (I usually just skim once the liquid has cooled).  Refrigerate.  Can also be frozen.

On My Mind

Why is killing people with chemical weapons worse than bombing or shooting them?  Obama says Syria has now crossed the "red line" with its neurotoxins that killed hundreds.  But does that mean that killing the first 100,000 Syrians with bombs and guns was okay?

Why did the Ft Hood killer get death but the soldier who killed the Afghanis get life?

While I really have nothing to hide in my email or blog or FB posts, I disprove of the NSA accumulation of online/electronic personal data.  I fear this shadow government that persecutes Manning and hunts Snowden.  I know we all feared terrorists after September 11 and haven't suffered many major attacks since then.  Now we know why.  The price is very high.  I'm not sure I'm ready for what else we don't know.

I know we fear terrorists (and I know that by doing so, we fulfill the terrorists' plans)--and I do wonder at the cultural and political circumstances that create such violence over and over in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, and the like--but in the U.S. itself, young white men in Aurora, Virginia Tech, and, yes, Newtown, have killed more Americans than the so-called terrorists have.  Makes me wonder about casting the first stone, especially living in a glass house.

On a lighter note, I read this week, in Pollan's Cooked, I think, that cooking is a rural project, for the most part, and that the farther we get from farmers and real ingredients, the less we cook and eat real food.  Interesting connection, but the increased urbanization of America does parallel the growth in industrialized and processed food production.

Twerking.  Miley Cyrus.  Race issues in America.  Some article, which I can't relocated, mentioned that disapproval is a form of social control.  What does disapproving of Cyrus achieve?  Control of women?  Sexuality?  The definition of black culture?  Several people decry Cyrus's appropriation of twerking and ratchet culture as another example of white people stealing from black people for their own gain, especially in music and popular culture (just ask Paula Deen.)  So that kind of sexual display is not acceptable for a young white woman, but is okay for a black woman?  Maybe as feminists we should get to the point that that kind of pornographic twerking display is demeaning to all women.

Whew, that's it for now.

The Cubists

Rubik's Cube, that is.

Mama, Sis, and Bud have the Rubik's bug.  Mama had picked up two cubes for the kids, thinking they'd like them.  Each can get one colored side, I think.

And then Mama got her hands on one of them and spent the evening working on it, following the directions.

Yep, directions.  Those little colorful cubes come with instructions now for how to best work the puzzle. When the Rubik's Cube first came out in 1980, I was in 5th grade and those were the most popular toys with my friends.  I even had one but never got past one color.  A few of the boys in my class did and we were all impressed.  Especially because they didn't have directions.

Still, I was impressed when Mama did it, as were the kids.  But Sis put the neat cube on her desk and probably won't mess up the colors again.  Bud is still working on his.

Kidbits: The First Day of School

Last night, packing their school supplies, Sis carefully unwrapped everything and laid it in her box.  Bud kinda tossed his in . . . and then forgot to put the pencil box in his backpack.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Bud, on putting on his new shoes and being asked how they felt:  "They're just like new shoes, weird yet satisfying."  I swear, that's exactly what he said.

-=-=-=-=-=

Like mother, like son:  Bud had been a bit nervous about not knowing where to go and the names of all of his specials teachers.  "Mom, I just have the jitters; it's not a real stomachache.  It will dissolve when the bus gets here."  And it did.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Sis tried to console Bud's fear of not knowing where to go (they were supposed to go to the cafeteria and meet their teachers there), "Just follow the short people, Bud."  They're the youngest grade in the school.

-=-=-=-=-

On arriving home, the kids were brimming with news:

• Our neighbor and now a teacher at their school, Miss K, stopped by to see them each twice.
• They went to an assembly welcoming the third graders to the new building.
• Bud had library, with a librarian subbing for the other librarian who had surgery.
• Sis had art, but they only got a tour and didn't make anything.
• Both had homework--to put 3 or 4 objects representing themselves in a brown mystery bag.  Bud chose his kung fu class schedule, a piece of sheet music, and a stuffed penguin.  Sis chose a Harry Potter Lego (2 in 1!), a little bunny statuette, a paintbrush, and a cat toy.
• They both liked the new playground and had recess together but didn't play together.  Sis played with her good friend S, who is in Bud's class, while Bud practiced his kung fu forms on the blacktop (we've warned him not to get to close to anyone or it will look like fighting.)
• Sis's class had snack; Bud's didn't today.
• They were both disappointed to learn they won't get their lockers until Friday (yes, lockers!  It used to be a middle school.)  As part of their Schultute this morning, they got locker bling.
• They were also disappointed that they will have homework on Fridays.  :(
• They both mentioned a good behavior/sticker reward system.  Sis's class also has a "desk fairy" who brings treats to those with neat desks, Sis's new goal.

-=-=-=-=-=-

And tonight, their looping teacher for first and second grades sent all of her students an email saying she missed them and wishing them a good year!  It was the first time I teared up all day.

Kidbits

• Sis and I were playing her American Girl questions game.  "What age do you want to be?"  I philosophically said the age I am now.  Sis said, "19.  Then I can drive, still live with you and Mama, but go walking around alone with my friends, like for trick or treating."  I love that the ultimate goal is independent Halloween.
• Another question was "If you could be anyone, who would you be?"  "Pop," she said, "So I could be with Gommie."
• Today, I asked the kids what they didn't have that they wanted for school.  Bud replied, "A get-out-of-school-free card.  And a sign that says 'no homework allowed.'"

Some Thoughts

I am sending:

• Prayers for comfort, ease, peace and support to Miss B, whose father has health challenges and whose dog is ill;
• Prayers, well wishes, and good vibes to musical Miss M, who undergoes a stem-cell transplant and will be hospitalized for a month;
• "Bon Voyage" to my parents who embark on an almost-three-week journey including railway trip halfway across Canada (Vancouver through the Rockies and back);
• Congratulations and good luck to Gong, whose retirement is official today, and to Ma, who concluded more than three decades of "professoring" at the end of spring term;
• Good luck and best wishes to Miss K, who begins her first full day as a permanent classroom teacher tomorrow;
• Good times and wishes to the seniors we know in high school (Babysitter H and lawn guy R) and college (Beloved Babysitter M, if you can believe it!) and to the "freshman" entering high school (Babysitter M down the street);
• And peace to all the moms who will have empty houses for the first time in years.

Summer Fun 2013: The End

With just a few daylight hours until bedtime here on the first school night, summer is definitely waning.  Sure, there's the upcoming Labor Day weekend, and then the day off for Rosh Hashanah, but really, those feel more like fall holidays than summer.

We haven't done anything spectacular here on the last day--some Animal Jam time, some playing outside with friends time, some re-reading Harry Potter time, even piano lessons. Plus we distributed school supplies and packed up backpacks with summer reading and math packets, new pencils and such, and boxes of tissues and bandaids for the teachers.   I asked Bud and Sis what things they might want for school that they don't already have.  Bud said that he wants a get-out-of-school-free card or a sign to wear reading "No Homework Allowed."  I also baked a loaf of no-knead bread, squirreling away the other half of the dough for another time. Now I'm starting the last of the dinner prep; there's the kids favorite "baked" chicken in the slow cooker and I just put the rice in the rice cooker--yes, we eat early, sometime between 5:30-6:00 pm on a regular day.  Sis is having a "play bath" (I'm on the computer upstairs instead of downstairs because I like to be on the same floor when one of them is in the tub; is that silly with them 8 years old?  Maybe it's just an excuse.)  I promised them a little bit of tv when I make the gravy.  And then it'll be last-minute clothes sorting (yay for strict dress code!) and alarm-setting before reading at bedtime (I tried to read them Wildwood, Karen L R, but, still in the throes of HP they were having none of it.)  Mama has PT tonight and will be late, but she'll manage an appearance at bedtime.

We have several things to do after their bedtime--gathering treats in cones as part of our annual Schultute tradition and creating their first-day-of-school poster (always in the first-day-of-school photo.) And I'll confirm breakfast and lunch and snack makings and water bottles, plus write little notes.  I have little signs reminding them what to do to earn their $1-a-day (make bed, put away toothbrush, put away clothes, pick up floor), but I won't burden them with that the first few days (nor the new chore chart with some added responsibilities!)

And then 7 a.m. and the energy of the first day will come pretty early.

I guess after 6 years of first-days-of-school, counting preschool (which I most definitely do), this is getting pretty old-hat.

Last Links I Like

For now, anyway.

It's a short but tough list, with Newtown and Hurricane Sandy.

• "What Books are 'Just Right' for the Young Reader?"--Room For Debate, namely they mostly said whatever the child wants to read, which was influential in our letter the kids plow through Potter (NYT)
• Nicholas Kristof, "Looking for Lessons in Newtown"--a refutation of common excuses for those who are anti-gun control
• Teaching meditation to children
• For young survivors of violence, recovery is possible
• Gun ownership as the antithesis of free society
• "Holidays without God"--Room for Debate
• "8 Books to Inspire a Happy Mama", including Momma Zen, The Gift of an Ordinary Day, Peace is Every Step, The Conscious Parent, Talk So Your Children Will Listen, Life is a Verb, Four Word Self Help, and Simple Abudnace
• Everyday stressors and "Possible Thinking"
• "Is There a Toy-Class Divide?"  Yes.
• A book on American minutiae for Russians
• Discovery and the art of being still
• 26 Facts on Finland's education system
• Book review, "Far From the Tree," a compassionate look at difficult parenting
• Simple ways to make your child feel special
• Storms affect children differently than adults
• A wonderful article on Waffle House and weather disasters
• Including the child with special needs

Not So Secret

Recipes for the School Year

Okay, you've seen them all over FB, especially recently, people sharing recipes with the most luscious food porn photos (almost always linked to some diet or weight-loss page, regardless of the decadence of the recipe.)  I have given up "sharing these to save to your homepage!" in favor of cutting and pasting the text.  Besides, I find FB really hard to search for past posts.  So here are some of the recent ones that I might actually try!


Breakfast
Crock-Pot Apples
Place 2 sliced apples, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1 tsp cinnamon, pinch salt in the bottom of the crock pot.

Pour in 2 cups of oatmeal, 2 cups of milk and 2 cups water.
Do NOT stir.

Cook overnight for 8 - 9 hours on low.


Dinner

CROCKPOT BEEF AND BROCCOLI

Ingredients
1 pound boneless beef chuck roast, sliced into thin strips
1 cup beef consumme
½ cup soy sauce
⅓ cup brown sugar or honey
1 tablespoon sesame oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons cooled sauce from the crock pot after being cooked

Fresh broccoli florets (as many as desired)
Hot cooked rice (brown rice, or riced cauliflower)

Directions
1. Place beef in a crock pot.
2. In a small bowl, combine consomme, soy sauce, brown sugar/honey, oil, and garlic. Pour over beef. Cook on low for 6-8 hours.
3. In a cup, stir cornstarch and sauce form the crock pot until smooth. Add to crock pot. Stir well to combine. (If your sauce is not thickening, try bringing your sauce to a boil on the stovetop with the corn starch mixture. Boil until your desired consistency is reached).
4. Add broccoli to the crock pot. Stir to combine.
5. Cover and cook an additional 30 minutes on high (the sauce has to boil for it to thicken).
6. Serve over hot cooked rice.

Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken

Ingredients

1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 teaspoons dried minced onion
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 24 ounces) or breasts
sprinkle of fresh chopped parsley

Directions

Combine the first five dry spices in a small bowl and spread over chicken on both sides. Set aside. Pour olive oil and garlic on the bottom of the crock pot. Place chicken on top. Pour balsamic vinegar over the chicken. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours. Sprinkle with fresh parsley on top to serve.

Nutrition Info

Servings: 8* Calories per serving: 133* Fat: 5g* Cholesterol: 70mg* Sodium: 222mg* Carbs: 4g* Fiber: 0g* Sugars: 3g* Protein: 17g* Points+: 6*

Desserts

Salted Caramel Pretzel Bark
this is sooo easy to make!

2 sticks of butter
1 cup of light brown sugar
1 reg. bag of pretzels (you'll use about 3/4 of the bag)
12 ounce bag of chocolate chips
Sea salt - ( I use our coarse sea salt with our grinder)

Preheat the oven to 400.

Line a large bar pan with parchment paper, cover with pretzels
In a medium saucepan melt the butter over medium-low heat. When it begins to bubble add the brown sugar. Stirring occasionally let the butter/sugar mixture meld together and brown. This should take about 3 minutes. Do NOT let it boil, you will have sticky goo that is no good. When you have a nice, brown caramel pour it over the pretzels, slowly and evenly. You can then use a spatula to spread it out, you have to work quickly and gently. It hardens fast so even pouring is the best method.

Bake the sheet for 5 minutes.

Remove the sheet from the oven and sprinkle the whole bag of chocolate chips evenly over the mixture.

Place back in the oven for about 45 seconds. If you let it sit there too long the chocolate will burn.

Remove from the oven and use a silicone spatula to evenly spread the chocolate over the top.

Sprinkle with sea salt and refrigerate for a minimum of 1 hour. 

ICE CREAM BREAD
Seriously? Only 2 ingredients!


Who out there has ever made ice cream bread? If you haven't, what are you waiting for? You use only two ingredients and two steps. All you have to do is mix self-rising flour with softened ice cream of choice and bake. Poof! You have bread!

You need ice cream that is not sugar free or low fat...just regular full fat ice cream. This one is made with just chocolate but just imagine how awesome a loaf of Ben and Jerry's Rocky Road or Cherry Garcia bread could be. I have made it with Chunky Monkey and it is delicious. I will include that recipe too so you can try it. Go with bold flavors of ice cream such as peanut butter or butter pecan. Don’t forget, you can also add extra ingredients into the mix to make it less plain and more flavorful. Experiment and have fun with it!


Ice Cream Bread

2 cups of your favorite ice cream, softened
1 and 1/2 cups of self rising flour

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour an 8×4 inch loaf pan. Mix the ice cream and flour together in a bowl just until combined. Smooth it out so it looks even. Bake for 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool for a while and then serve.

Chunky Monkey Ice Cream Bread (2 loaves or 1 large loaf)

2 pints Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey, softened or melted
3 cups self-rising flour
1 very ripe banana, chopped
1 chocolate bar, chopped
Handful of walnuts, chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour bread pan, or line with parchment paper. Mix melted ice cream and flour until well combined. Add chocolate, banana and nuts. Pour into prepared bread pan. Bake for 45 minutes per loaf or 60-90 minutes for a larger double loaf. If the top starts to brown too much, cover it with aluminum foil and continue to bake. The bread is done when a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean.

Almond Joy Brownie Bites

Ingredients:
1 box of family size Chocolate Fudge brownie mix
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (14 oz.) bag coconut
1/4 C milk
1 C chocolate chips, melted
1/4 C almonds (or nuts), crushed

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line (regular size, not mini) cupcake pan with paper liners. (Don't skip the paper liners as they make stick).

Make brownies according to package directions and pour batter only half way up the liners.

Bake in preheated oven for 12 minutes. While they are baking, mix the coconut, sweetened condensed milk and milk together.

Remove brownies from oven and spoon on some sweetened coconut.

Place bake in oven and continue to bake an additional 14-16 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow to cool completely before removing the paper liners. Drizzle on the chocolate then sprinkle on the almonds.

Summer Fun 2013: Activity Kits Galore!

With one day to go until school starts, I think we've done all the activity kits we are going to do this summer. In the end, they preferred reading the Harry Potter books.  Still, not bad.  And it cleared a shelf or two in the basement.

1. Activity-kit-a day:  Make a snow globe  Well, not exactly, but Sculpey came to the rescue and the kiddos made bunny and penguin snow globes.  
2. Activity-kit-a day:  Make your own birdhouse.  Well, Sis painted a birdhouse at a playdate with a friend, but not from the kit we have.
3. Activity-kit-a day:  spin art
4. Activity-kit-a day:  My first Chemistry set
5. Activity-kit-a day:  Magic Science kit  What a mess mixing water, oil, citric acid, baking soda, and red cabbage dye!  This was their favorite.  Even after the chemicals from both sets (they each had one) were gone, they used baking soda and vinegar.
6. Activity-kit-a day:  Make a stepping stone
7. Activity-kit-a day:  Etch a tag engraver set
8. Activity-kit-a day:  Pottery kit  No way a kid can make the pots pictured on the box.  Kinda discouraging.
9. Activity-kit-a day:  Potato Clock  Bud is really excited about this one.  I just have to remember to buy the potatoes.
10. Activity-kit-a day:  Mandala maker
11. Activity-kit-a day:  Lava Volcano kit  The mold of the volcano worked, but the explosion didn't.  All the blood red liquid just leaked out the bottom no matter what we did.  The instructions needed pictures.
12. Activity-kit-a day:  Disgusting Science kit
13. Activity-kit-a day:  tie-dye kit  We tie-dyed at the family picnic, though.
14. Activity-kit-a day:  Eco crafts kit  When we opened this again, we realized Sis had done all the interesting parts.
15. Activity-kit-a day:  Sound studio kit Some kits just aren't what you think they'll be.
16. Activity-kit-a day:  drawing kit  Ditto.
17. Activity-kit-a day:  light kit
18. Activity-kit-a day:  Sun prints kit  This is the one I've been waiting to do.  
19. Activity-kit-a day:  friendship bracelets  We wove friendship wheel bracelets at the historic house.
20. Activity-kit-a-day:  thread art
21. Activity-kit-a-day:  pom pon bunny

Yes, More Links I Like

From January through March

• One of the best articles about bullying and weight and parents--esp the do's and don'ts list (NYT)
• "A child is a person, not a project," says mom of son who died of Tay-Sachs
• The tsunami survivor who lost her whole family . . . and wrote a book (Guardian)
• High job-satisfaction for teachers? (NYT)
• Table for Two . . .Women (NYT)
• Recipes for Easter breads (NYT)
• An experiment in avoiding chemicals
• "A Letter to Victoria Secret from a Father"
• Jedi religion, performing marriages in Scotland! (BBC)
• The Steubenville Rapists and misplaced sympathy (Guardian)
• More on sleep and weight
• Cookie recipes for Passover
• Turning the edutainment paradigm upside down
• Myths of the Devil's Chord
• Persian foods for Passover
• "When Exercise Stresses You Out"
• "Hands free" summer--unplugged.
• Make-up-less day in Texas high school
• "'Dating' Other Mothers" 
• Make up your own words! (Guardian)
• "Digital Era Redefines Etiquette" and new definitions of impatience 
• "Why Should Married Women Change Their Names?" (Guardian)
• Demolishing Shakespeare's house, history of historic preservation in UK (BBC)
• "The Last Fall" (Karen Maezen Miller)
• Scholars conclude more Holocaust horror than we realized (HuffPost)
• Hot toddy recipe
• Math in gym class (NYT)
• 100 words every high schooler should know
• God, Farmers, and the Super Bowl
• Julia Grant and her slave
• I loved the graphic of the article "Can the Republicans be Saved?", with "GOP Laptop"--a typewriter; "GOP Twitter"--a megaphone!
• An article about historical "second sleep"
• America's most controversial anthropologist and the ethics of studying indigenous peoples
• On the day Latin was critical for breaking news (BBC)
• NSFChildren--"Blizzard Etiquette"
• Frank Bruni op ed on "The Land of the Binge"--food, tv, exercise, politics, everything
• A very entrepreneurial Girl Scout
• Brand naming weather
• "The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying" (Guardian)
• Poetry and cancer
• "3 things your daughter needs from You":  info about her body, respect for her body and its abilities, know she can talk to parents about anything. (HuffPost)--I'd say, sons, too.
• Let them eat King Cake
• The amazing archive of a Holocaust ghetto (BBC)
• An Incredible Journey
• "Eat like a Mennonite"--chem free eating
• Ancient Jewish life in Muslim Empire
• The 7-year walk, following earliest humans (BBC)
• A dying nurse seeks to teach the living
• Downton Abbey a la FB
• After rape . ...on honor and virtue (NYT)
• Frank Bruni on the agonies of each age
• Room for Debate--what the fight over guns is really about (NYT)
• The Hokey Pokey, by Shakespeare
• 
  

Yet More Links I like

From April through June etc . . .

• Parenting and technology--"When I see Josie clutching her grandmother’s Kindle to play Angry Birds for the 10th straight time, or I watch my son stuporously soaking up a cartoon, I’m really seeing myself as a kid — anxious, needy for love but willing to settle for electronic distraction to soothe my nerves or hold tedium at bay. And if experiencing this blast from the past weren’t troubling enough, I also get to confront my current failings as a parent." (NYT)
• A teacher reflects on teaching, upon retirement--"First, accept that meeting the individual learning needs of 110 students every day is simply impossible. No matter how many benchmark tests you administer, how precisely you think you have identified each student’s Achilles heel, how much you love them — you can’t control when they went to bed (or didn’t) the night before; what they ate for breakfast (or didn’t) that morning; whose parent just went to prison or lost a job. Life doesn’t get measured very well on Quia tests, when you get right down to it."
• "I’ve often thought that the single most devastating cyberattack a diabolical and anarchic mind could design would not be on the military or financial sector but simply to simultaneously make every e-mail and text ever sent universally public. It would be like suddenly subtracting the strong nuclear force from the universe; the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. Civilization, which is held together by a fragile web of tactful phrasing, polite omissions and white lies, would collapse in an apocalypse of bitter recriminations and weeping, breakups and fistfights, divorces and bankruptcies, scandals and resignations, blood feuds, litigation, wholesale slaughter in the streets and lingering ill will."  (NYT)
• A fun exploration of regional accents and language usage
• A writer reflects on his son's autism (Guardian)
• Frank Bruni, on the impact of the SCOTUS same-sex marriage ruling (NYT)
• Frank Bruni, on religion and the Boy Scouts (NYT)
• Two blogs on old age and dementia (NYT)
• On analysis of the mysterious Voynich manuscript (BBC)
• Recipe for Mary Todd Lincoln's "Courting Cake"
• An Israeli program to keep Holocaust memories alive (BBC)
• The coffee klatch of death (NYT)
• "Worst End of School Mom Ever" --"We are limping, limping across the finish line, folks. I tapped out somewhere in April and at this point, it is a miracle my kids are still even going to school. I haven’t checked homework folders in three weeks, because, well, I just can’t. Cannot. Can. Not. I can’t look at the homework in the folder. Is there homework in the folder? I don’t even know. Are other moms still looking in the homework folder? I don’t even care."
• Nellie's revenge!  The actress from Little House on the Prairie's success (NYT)
• An experiment on high-density living
• Paul Krugman's op ed "Sympathy for Luddites" on jobs
• On the educational practice of grouping kids by level (NYT)
• A life-saving article, "Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning"
• Civil War reenactors' alternate universe (Slate)
• Pareidolia, or seeing faces in inantimate objects (BBC)
• Battling cancer together
• "What Not to Say at the Bedside"
• Baby fat:--"In our weight-obsessed culture, parents may try to restrict a robust child with a hearty appetite because they assume that enjoying food and eating a lot means she will get fat. It doesn’t, and it doesn’t work." (NYT)
• Fat and gut bacterium
• "The Courage of Teachers" in the tornado in OK and elsewhere
• "How American Became a Third World Country" (Guardian)
• Smithsonian gets a slave cabin
• "Is the NRA Un-American"
• Talking with kids about sex --Room for Debate
• Sleep deprivation and education (BBC)
• Antibiotics and back pain
• No rich child left behind
• Is the US inherently violent?  NYT op ed
• Great book list for kids of 1970s and 1980s
• Jane Austen, Game Theorist
• Do you "like" cancer survivors?  Don't.

More Links I Like

More great reads . . . .from July!

• One of my all-time favorites, a must-read for parents or anyone who "compares and despairs"--Glennon Melton's "Quit Eating Your Avocado at Me":  ""I am telling you that I decided right then and there that this mother was feeding her child avocados AT ME. And that also she had matched her child's clothes that morning AT ME. And also that she had likely disciplined her child effectively for years AT ME. And that as icing on her (likely homemade and gluten-free) cake she was enjoying a lovely, peaceful, well-planned, healthy lunch AT ME. I felt judged. I felt like her approach to parenting was maybe developed solely to shine a big old spotlight on my "not good enough" parenting. She was parenting AT ME, I tell you!"
• An argument for Zeus?? (NYT)
• On Jerusalem, the cookbook--I would love to read this (NYT)
• "I do not want my daughter to be nice" I see the point, but I think nice is still ok (NYT)
• A dark expose on assisted living (NYT)
• Beautiful (and not as creepy as it sounds)--a journalist live tweets his mother's last days (Buzzfeed)
• "Can Sewing Change Your Body Image?" (Guardian)
• A modern version of white women and their black cooks, more on Paula Deen (NYT)
• What your bed says about you--just make it! (Karen Maezen Miller)
• Changing definitions of cancer, esp DCIS (NYT)
• "Profiling Obama" navigating racism in America and Trayvon Martin verdict (NYT)
• A modern exploration of an 1852 article on the heat wave (NYT)
• "Hating on Fat People Just Makes Them Fatter" (NPR)
• The Guardian:  100 best non-fiction and 100 best fiction
• Full moon's effects on sleep (BBC)
• A touching missing twin story (NYT)
• On cento verse:  a quilted poem on cancer (NYT)
• Another article on white women and black cooks (NYT)
• "I'm tired of reading to my son, OK?" (NYT)--esp if it was the Bearnstein Bears!
• Famous but misattributed quotes (Toni Bernhard)
• Exploring Islam with children (UU)--a good book recommendation
• Mormons, the Web, and doubt (NYT)
• On Trayvon Martin here and here (NYT op eds by Charles Blow)
• Arthur Miller on the heat  of 1927 and another person on the heat wave of 1953 (NYT) and modern ways to beat the heat (Guardian)
• Alternatives for back pain--or not (NYT)
• Genes and weight (NYT)
• Living with debating death with dignity--a scholar's personal experience (NYT)
• Great PSA video "Am I Suspicious?" by Howard University students
• Jewish history in Rome (NYT)
• On a TED talk where a doctor asks forgiveness of fat patients he blamed (NYT)
• A controversial look at Teach for America
• How not to be intimidated in a doctor's office (Toni Bernhard)
• Brooks and Collins on being old (hilarious!  NYT), responding to Oliver Sacks
• Don't let the kids stay up late! (BBC)
• American Births--so expensive! (NYT)

Familiarity Breeds Fondness?

Me:  Do you want to go to Bud's kung fu performance or to the wedding?

Sis:  Kung Fu.

Me (surprised):  That's great, but can I ask why?  I thought you might be tired of that.

Sis (also surprised):  Because he's my brother.

Links I Like

Some things I've read that resonate . . . (yes, FB friends, these are the links I've shared there.)

• "3 Books Offer a Way to Cut the Cord" (NYT):  "“This is not your computer — I know it has your name on it, but this is my computer (or your school’s computer). I’m your parent, and I reserve the right to see everything that’s going on there. You need to be on the computer in an open place. I have the right to know what your homework assignment is. You can’t be in your room with the door closed. You can’t take it to bed with you. You can’t collapse a screen when I walk by. We have a code of conduct and we expect you to stick with it: Don’t be mean, don’t lie, don’t embarrass other people, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, don’t go places you’re not allowed to go. Don’t post pictures that Grandma wouldn’t love. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t approve of.” from The Big Disconnect by Catherine Steiner-Adair

• "What Should a 4 Year-Old Know?"  Know they are loved, know they are safe, know they can color outside the lines, etc.  A good list for all ages.

• "Always Go to the Funeral" (NPR):  ""Most days, my real battle is doing good versus doing nothing."

• "For Whites (Like Me):  On White Kids" (HuffPost):  I really liked NutureShock for its discussion of the uselessness of general liberal responses to race such as "everyone is equal" and "we're all the same", mentioned in the article, but like that book was frustrated that the article gave no guidance just responded about "pat answers" being a cop out. I think they'd be a start, though, since as the article mentions white families have such trouble talking about race. We started talking about race directly right after I read NurtureShock, esp because the kids are bi-racial. But those conversations are hard because there's no guidance. I've come up with something along the lines of each person's race is very important to that person and it's important to respect that and learn more and realize how that changes how they experience the world, just like they are proud to be half Chinese and how being immigrants has affected their grandparents. 

• "It Gets Better" on Momastery:  On life after the last child starts school!

• "13 (Better) Questions to Ask Your Child About School":  What was the best thing you did at school?  What didn't you have at school today that you wished  you had?  Who did you sit near in class?  in lunch?  Whose locker is near yours?  Etc etc etc

• "George Saunders's Advice to Graduates" (NYT):  Kindness.  It's all about kindness.  And "failures of kindnesses."

• "How to Fall Forever into the Night Sky" (NPR):  A new way to imagine our place in the universe.

• Frank Bruni on death with dignity (NYT)

• On doctors discriminating against people with mental illness

• On 500 new fairytales discovered in Germany (Guardian)

• Evangelicals do something useful (NYT)

• Interesting history of abortion in American, including colonial times

• Fascinating profile of "The Weather God of Oklahoma" (NYT)

• Sleep loss and weight gain (NYT)

• Hundreds of artexhibition catologues available FREE online!

• "Addicted to Prayer" (NYT):  benefits even for atheists!

• Interesting discussion of the legacy of Jaws (NYT)

• Book Love and finding the lost gems of childhood--"One Book in . . ." (NYT)

• Camping (lack of electric light) resets body clock (BBC)

• Toni Bernhard's "A Not-To-Do List for the Chronically Ill"

• "Evolution punishes mean people" (BBC)

• High heels for kids?  Ugh (NYT)

• ICU PTSD (NYT)

And that's just August.

Summer Fun 2013: A Week of Playdates

Sis is a single child this week while her brother is at kung fu camp.  And she's loving it!

But not with me.

While I had visions of lots of mother-daughter activities--crafts, baking, American Girl dolls, just hanging out--she had visions of playing with all of her friends.  ALONE.

And so we've booked playdates for the whole week, here, one a day.  Morning to afternoon, lunch included.

And while it's not what I had envisioned, I'm glad she's having a great time.

Summer Fun: Queens of Weekends

What a weekend!  It was our second annual "leave the kids in Queens while we take Manhattan" nano-honeymoon!  Cooler than last year, the weekend was also lazier with fewer stops and plans.  And it was lovely that way.

But we almost ended before we started because of something called "Summer Streets," whereby cyclists take over the Village and Park Avenue and many cross streets were closed.  We could not get to either our hotel or first stop, the Merchant's House Museum.  Very frustrating to drive around for what seemed like forever--most of the parking garages are on the side streets so there was nowhere to stop.  Yes, yes, I'm sure it's great that the cyclists get the streets--but with no announcements on the traffic radio and with the cops uncertain where all the blockades were (they didn't even know why the streets were closed!!), it was a little difficult.  We eventually parked somewhere near enough to our hotel and managed to get the bags there, where they would hold them while we made our first outing to the Merchant's House Museum, via the subway.  Look, beavers at the Astor St station!  Maybe the Astors were fur traders long, long ago?

Beaver tile in Astor Pl subway--for you, Pop

The Merchant's House Museum, built in 1832, is the only family home preserved intact from the nineteenth century in NYC.  And it's a jewel--4 stories right out of The Heiress/Washington Square, complete with kitchen and family room in the "garden apartment"/below street space, formal first floor with two parlors separated by pocket doors, bedrooms on the second floor, and then the only existing Irish home from 19th-century NYC where the servants lived on the fourth floor (current museum staff on third)!  With sparse visitors, unobtrusive staff, a big binder of information, most of the original furnishings (it became a museum right after the youngest daughter of the family died, aged 93, in 1933!), and natural lighting, you really could immerse yourself in the place and imagine the time.  Though, going from basement to fourth floor was a haul--those poor Irish girls!  We also liked the little garden in the backyard.  I would highly recommend this to all, both jaded NY inhabitants, seen-it-all regulars, and newbie tourists.

The garden at the Merchant's House Museum, a highlight

This is our hotel, same one as last year, on Irving Place.  It's an indulgence, for sure, but we love the Victorian richness and the location.

Where we stayed

Fresh flowers everywhere

Our room, rich Victorian decor, especially the wallpaper

Interestingly, the hotel is two brownstones, linked, almost exactly of the same floorplan as the Mercant's House, with similar mirrors between the windows on opposite end of the formal parlors, the elaborate moldings on walls and above chandeliers, and elaborate mantles.

We headed out to the Greenmarket in Union Square to peruse the produce and farm products, coming across a few Connecticut "neighbors"--the cheese guy from Colchester and the garlic lady from Shelton! We sampled goat cheeses and jams, pickles and chutneys.  In the end, we cobbled together a wonderful market lunch--farmer's bread, a honey lavender goat cheese, roasted garlic spread, plum chutney, triple fruit marmalade, another goat cheese, two aged Welsh cheeses (a Vivace and a Boomsday??), a slice of mazurka cake, and cups of mint lemonade and mint tea with maple syrup (Mama also got some jerky and sausages for another time.)  Of course, we didn't finish it all, but it was a lovely meal.  I also picked up some lovely merino in variegated pink.  

A butterfly proving the worth of butterfly bushes, at the Greenmarket in Union Square

Gandhi and sunflowers

Dozens of chess players set up  in the Square (Bud would love to play)

After an afternoon nap, we headed out again at dusk to do some shopping.  Mama replaced her worn out Doc Martens and then we wiled away the evening at Forbidden Planet and Strand Books.  It's hard not to buy more books than we can carry!  Especially now that we buy kids' books, too.  A late dinner was falafel and fixings at Maoz's.  Yes, a lot like last year.

Sleeping in.  The Sunday NYTimes.  A pot of Marbury Rose tea.  Chocolate scones.  Almond scones.  Fresh fruit.  A lazy stroll around the neighborhood.  Dark chocolate granita.  A wonderful, slow Sunday morning in the city.

On our way out of Manhattan after noon checkout to get the kids in the Rockaways, we drove around the Village a bit now that the roads were open.  We located my old office on 13th between 5th and 6th (it housed the museum staff before the museum building opened.)  And serendipitously came across famous Brit teashop Tea and Sympathy!  I've always wanted to take Mama there, having been once myself, but we never seemed to be in the right place at the right time.  And we even got a parking space!  We weren't ready to sit for tea but went into the shop next door, where we spoke at length with Sean, husband of T&S founder Nicola Perry (whose portrait, Lambeth, was recently at your NPG.)  He told several jokes--about Texas, his wife, and even alluded to something funny surrounding the Dalai Lama--and was very friendly.  We bought two kinds of tea, Garibaldis, pickled onions, wine gummies, and a copy of their cookbook.  While I waited to pay, Mama nipped next door and ordered us some fish and chips at their companion store, A Salt and Battery.  Hmmmmm!  With extra vinegar on the "chips."  Mama also got some mushy peas, a few pies, and who knows what else.  She wanted to get a "chip butty," or french fry sandwich, for Sis, but we didn't imagine it would keep.  We'll have to take them there, especially because we're very seriously considering a trip across the pond within the next year (what do you think, Lambeth?) to see the Harry Potter studios, London, and of course Lambeth. 

After polishing off our lunch, we headed, late, off to Queens, past the construction of the new World Trade Center tower and then under the Verrazano Bridge and past the cannons in the area (Fort Hamilton.)  The kids had an equally wonderfully time with Ma and Gong--Chinese soup bun lunch, the beach, watching the movie Spaceballs not once but twice, a fancy homecooked seafood dinner with prawns and lobster (and chicken for Sis), pancake breakfast made to order by Goo, dim sum, and even ice cream from the truck twice!  

We sure know how to have a fun weekend!

World Trade Center/Freedom Tower, but with ominous cloud

Driving under the Verrazano on the way to fetch the kiddos

Compare and Contrast