My Feminist Bubble

I forget sometimes that I live in a feminist bubble with a whole community of friends who are in here, too.  I know I shouldn't be surprised, in light of the election, etc., but I was still a bit taken aback when the man behind me at the movie concession stand yesterday scoffed that anyone but girls would want to see "Wonder Woman."  He then coached his tween boy, who was there to see "Captain Underpants," to mock the idea. "You wouldn't want to see Wonder Woman, would you?  That's for girls.  Boys don't want to see that."  And the boy was quiet and confused, whining that he was there to see Captain Underpants (quite literally worried that he would have to see Wonder Woman.)

No words. And honestly, I didn't engage much beyond "I think Wonder Woman is for everyone. Boys can watch girls in movies. My son is." I know I won't change the man's mind in a two-minute conversation in line . . . and honestly I think twice about engaging with strangers in public because I can't be sure they won't become aggressive.  Protecting Muslim women in Portland from a white supremacist is a worthy cause; arguing about a Sunday matinee isn't.

I wish I had Diana Prince's cuffs sometimes.

We loved the movie, by the way.  And not just because it was finally a female protagonist in a comic-book movie (though, that's why we went opening weekend, to support such movies financially.)  The plot was engaging and not completely transparent (though, SPOILERS, we knew actor David Thewlis's role had to be pivotal); the pace quick, balancing action and comedy, quiet moments and explosive ones.  And yes, Mama and I like fit women in leather, going back twenty-odd years to Xena.  The kids liked it a lot, too.

And given the current political and cultural atmosphere, it's exactly the kind of movie we need.

Again.

Yet another London attack.  On the day of the One Love Manchester concert with Ariana Grande and friends, another van ran down people on the bridge near Big Ben and the passengers then ran to a nearby market and stabbed more people.  Terror. Terrorism.

My thoughts go out to England, again.

And also to the other victims of terrorism recently--the Coptic Christians killed on the bus in Egypt, those in the financial district of Kabul who were killed by car bomb--and the violence at the ensuing funerals--and all the events I haven't heard about.

Peace, Salaam, Shalom.

Tidbits

As promised, some of our recent news:

• Sis's horse show:  It's horse show season again and we've already got two down, with one to go in a few weeks.  These are home shows at "our" farm.  Sis competes in the beginner group of Walk-Trot-Canter, which also includes equitation, pleasure, and poles.  No, I'm not really sure what all of that means.  I do know she came home with four ribbons last time--two firsts, a second, and a third.   And that she loves going to shows, even just helping out in the barn, anything so she can smell horse.  She's even watching a horse show on tv, Canadian "Heartland," which is second best to being with horses.  It's gotten even stronger, this horse love, since we began partially leasing Murphy, a black furry pony.  She basically gets an extra lesson a week, plus her original lesson, both usually on Murphy.  And she shares riding Murphy in the home shows.  
• Our first Memorial Day weekend home together in years:  Because Bud is a lead in the school play, which has rehearsals three days a week, we opted to skip kung fu competition in NJ this year because he couldn't practice for both.  Good decision.  Except we all missed our annual trek to NJ, which has included side trips to Philly and to the Jersey Shore in past years.  I don't think we've all been home for Memorial Day since 2010 (see here on first kung fu competition, for both of them!)  Because I was still very under the weather, we didn't do much.  Just as well because everyone is pretty burned out and tired by the end of the school year.  And it rained.  At least now we're all looking forward to being in New Jersey next year.
• Middle school orientation:  Yes, middle school.  Next year.  After seven years at the same elementary school (albeit two different buildings), the kiddos are moving on.  We're all excited and nervous and curious about what next year will be like.  We've been to two orientations, which didn't quite answer many questions.  The first one at least allowed the kids to wander the school on a scavenger hunt, after long and boring intros by various teachers who we couldn't hear over the mike feedback.  They had fun wandering around with their school friends in the big, confusing building.  Mama and I just meandered.  I liked the wall art.  The second orientation was more about dealing with the social issues of junior high, addressed in a variety of little skits.  Don't be mean, how to avoid mean people.  And all the different ways moms can embarrass you.   The handouts for parents were more on the mark--sexting, drugs, alcohol, cyberbulling. Talk about making us all look forward to the transition.
• Our new Eurovision obsession:  if you are not familiar with Eurovision, it's a songwriting and performance contest between all the European nations--and Australia!--held yearly, for the last 50-some-odd years.  It started as a way to revitalize and reconnect war-torn Europe.  Even if you don't know it, you do--it's how Abba got their start, with "Waterloo."  I think it must also be a huge gay pride event, even before there were official gay pride events.  It seems to attract 30-something European men more than any other group; and yes, there is quite an element of camp. It's now shown on LOGO in the US, yep, the gay tv channel.  Last year, the commentators were quite snarky; this year they took it a bit more seriously.  The music is catchy and light, though sometimes political or more artistic.  The performance pieces are over the top, with lights and digital projections and dancers; it's all very entertaining.  Some of it is just odd:  like the yodeling piece from Romania this year.  But there are also milestones:  this year, the first Roma performer represented Hungary and the first aboriginal performer represented Australia.  And a young man from Portugal singing alone on a stage, no lights or dancers, with a quality some compared to Edith Piaf, won the entire thing.  And we watched it all!  Bud loves the music--his favorite is "Requiem," a ballad from France.  I like the yodeling song and the upbeat tune from Belarus.  I have also co-opted Sweden's entry, singing "I can't go on because I'm this freaking beautiful!"  Sis enjoyed looking up each country on the globe and likes all the music well enough, too.  Though, with the collection of all the songs on repeat, everyone but Bud is getting a bit tired of it.  He's even looking up past years on YouTube. At least he's learning some geograpy.  
• Recent crochet:  I finished the pastel rainbow blanket I've been working on for ages.  It's a kit from Attic24, but instead of doing the colors in her random order, I had to put them in rainbow color order.  I love the stitches, though, just a pattern of rows of double crochet and granny clusters.  I have some other little projects I'm working on, though there hasn't been much time for crochet.
• Lastly, Gommie and Pop are headed our way for the play, a horse show, and the sixth-grade awards ceremony.  They're driving, staying awhile with us after school is over, and then rushing home so that my family can fly to Texas for 4th of July.  Not the best planning, but it will be fun to spend some time together.

Good News

After nearly five years of volunteering for a for-profit hospice organization, I am taking the next step in my path to becoming a hospice chaplain.

Last week, I met with the volunteer director of a local free-standing hospice provider and she invited me to meet with the chaplain about joining the pastoral care team.  I spoke with him on the phone and then met him today . . . and I'm in!  I'll be a volunteer with the pastoral care team, a big step on my way to being a hospice chaplain.  I'll have more information about everything I'll be doing later, but it will run the gambit from visiting, conversation, funerals, even the odd wedding.  Altogether, though, it's about sitting with patients and families to give them space and a listening ear to explore the journey they're on.  I worried that I wouldn't pass muster with a senior chaplain because of my "knowledge gap" in theology (while I have a passing familiarity with various Christian denominations and their differences, I haven't read the whole Bible.  I know most of the stories through art.)  But, even after five years of volunteering elsewhere, I've never had a theological discussion with anyone who was dying; most want to talk about their families, relive memories, even those surrounded by Bibles, Christian hymns, prayer cards, and rosaries.   Closet I've come is singing "Amazing Grace" and reciting the Lord's Prayer.  Still, I know I have a lot to learn and I'm looking forward to companions on my own journey.  And if I'm not cut out for hospice chaplaincy, it's good to know before I go get anoter degree! (Yep, to be a real chaplain--accredited and all--I need a Masters of Divinity.)  If it is the right place for me, well, I'm excited to find that out.

It'll be rigorous, though.  At my initial interview, I was asked if I'd experienced a momentous death.  I never thought losing my dear Aunt Sis would come up in an interview, but I was able to talk about her death--how it was highly medicalized, with hospice only at the end, but that seemed to be her preference.  Of course, then later, my uncle and cousin died.

Then, in a cold call (which I never should have answered, being sick and half asleep on the couch), the chaplain (a Christian) asked me how I had been called to spiritual care.  Of course, I don't think of it as a divine "calling," not being called by anything but my own spirit.  Which I explained, along with my own path to Unitarian Universalism and hospice (Do you know what you call an atheist with children?  Unitarian.  Plus, there are my leanings to Buddhism.  And my own experience with pain and isolation.)  But I should've known that chaplains have seen it all.    These are not the questions I've had on other interviews. But I answered and was honest and it went well.

Still, I was glad to have practiced with Mama the night before--running through questions on strengths (comfort with people from different faiths and backgrounds; I've been told I'm a good listener) and weaknesses (that theology gap! also sometimes a tendency to avoid conflict and confrontation, though I'm better if I'm advocating for a patient.)  Also, what I want from my new organization--a mentor, a community of hospice workers, experience in a facility dedicated to hospice, more skills in sitting with people.  I could talk about my relevant experience--hospice volunteering, lay ministry at church, community service, mindfulness practice, non-violent communication (NVC) training--and my own practices such as Zentangle, Yoga Dance, meditation, reading poetry and history, even crocheting prayer shawls.  And, of course, clarifying my own beliefs--I believe in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, the interconnection of all beings, the importance of a variety of sacred teachers and wisdom sources, each person's responsible search for truth.  Yep, those are the UU principles.  Nothing about heaven, hell, or even God.  I'm focused on the world I know.  I do not know beyond that, though I tend to believe there is a spark of life but no divine plan, no cosmic engineer controlling fate and destinty.  Religions are created by humans to help them understand and cope with the Mystery; as humans are flawed, so are religions.  I don't think we come close to comprehending the world around us (just look at how wrong we've been about margarine!)--there are things we do not understand or can explain--I don't think the Mystery will ever be fully known--though, moments of grace show us glimpses.  So, for me compassion is the guide through our experiences; some call it Love.  And that is what I want to bring to people as they or their loved ones are dying; just as I hope I am surrounded by love, compassion, and family when I die.

And NONE of that came up today!  It was a quick discussion--he was comfortable with me and must have seen something he could work with--and I clean up nicely, in new clothes approrpriate for the place.  So there we go.  I have some HIPPA hoops to jump  through and then I'm on my way.  Soon. (I'll do the TB test and have my photo taken in two weeks; they're also checking references and doing a background check.)  I can't wait.

Last note:  I was meditating yesterday in preparation for today, and came up with the metta meditation I could use with hospice patients (the whole safe-happy-healthy-live in peace progression isn't quite right), or really with anyone:

May all beings know joy.May all beings know hope.May all beings know comfort.May all beings know peace.

Our First Cadette Year

It's been a great Girl Scout year, our first as Cadettes (see other years here.)  Definitely very busy.  In fact, I'm really not sure how we squeezed it all in.

• ROCKING HORSE RANCH!!!!  Sure, it was pretty much the last thing we did this year, but it was the biggest, both in time, money, and fun.
• Teacher Appreciation Candy Bar Buffet--decorated bags for teachers to collect treats.
• Cookie Booth--Sis and I missed this one because of a speedskating competition.
• QSP--Yep.  This.  Not my favorite.
• Al's Angels for Christmas--packing gift boxes for local families (and the girls made Santa hats)
• Animal Helpers Badge--learned about the training of seeing-eye dogs, did presentation on helping animals, went to Rocking Horse Ranch
• New Cuisines Badge--research family recipe, host Progressive Dinner, make spring rolls at Lunar New Year party (need to compile recipes)
• Woodworking Badge--one-day woodworking extravaganza making a doll bed.
• Night Owl Badge (camp out)--our evening program at Common Ground
• Trees Legacy Badge--a great visit to Webb Mountain Discovery zone
• Great Sportsmanship Badge--I can't remember what we did for this at all!!  But I know they watched videos on sportsmanship and discussed what it is.

Wow, that is a lot of badge work--six legacy badges!  A great year.  And I think all of our troop members are coming back next year, which is a wonderful surprise and pleasure.  

Better

Well, after almost two weeks of feeling crappy--feeling terrible, getting better, feeling worse--I went to the doctor and now know I have a sinus infections.  I've been on meds since Friday.  And I'm definitely feeling better, but still not normal.  It's all head congestion with sore throat and exhaustion. I've had a nap everyday for two weeks.  Not great.  But no one else has gotten it, which is the real up-side.  I think it was allergies that became infected (see, I have a narrow nose and deviated septum and I think things just don't, ahem, clear out sometimes.)

When I'm feeling better, I'll tell you about Sis's horse show, our first Memorial Day weekend home together in years, school orientation, our new Eurovision obsession, recent crochet, and my new hospice gig!  So, even being sick, I've got lots of news.

**cough

Well, after being out every afternoon and evening with school/kid activities last week, I've come down with an almost-summer cold.  It's mostly in my throat and I now sound like some kind of choking seagull.  I thought it was getting better with soup, fluids, cancelling everything, etc, but I was up most of last night coughing.  Blah.

All of which means, I've watched a lot of mediocre tv that I never really meant to watch, like "Jamaica Inn," all of "Dear White People" (which I actually reall liked),  and "Chewing Gum."  I've done just a bit of Zentangle and crochet. not much else.

I'm hoping it improves soon, but at least the weekend is rather quiet.

All's Well That Ends Well

Let me begin by saying that everything is fine.  The threat was only perceived, no real.

So, here's the story.

On Monday, when I picked up the mail, there was a playing card in the mailbox.  A Barack and Michelle Obama playing card, the ace of spades.  I thought this was odd and wondered what was going on.  Bud, who must have been reading about mushrooms, told me it could be laced with mushroom bits that would seep in my skin and kill me.  Huh.  Of course, then I thought of the anthrax scare in the mail that killed a woman here in Connecticut after September 11th.  But Bud didn't know any of that.  Still, I laughed and put the card in the recycling.

On Tuesday, I came home from taking the kids to the doctor for vaccinations and noticed the flag on the mailbox was up, which I would swear it hadn't been when I left.  There, inside, was another playing card.  Barack and Michelle Obama, king of spades.  What the hell was this?  Who was leaving these?  What did it mean?  We've lived here 15 years, have had no trouble with the neighbors.  But, when I posted my question to FB, most of my friends encouraged me to call the police and the postmaster, viewing it, like I did, in a suspicious light.  It wasn't kids--kids were at school during the day.  Why spades?  The ace of spades, I learned quickly, was not only a racial slur but a folkloric indication of death.  Was it a countdown, from aces to king to . . . ?  What would happen at the end of the suit?  But why black racism?  I would understand something to do with our being lesbians and a bi-racial Chinese-Caucasian family, but spades?  Was it a general comment on our being Democrats?  Only people who know us know that--there were no political signs or bumper stickers outside our house.  So, did this person know us?  Questions swirled, fears grew.   It escalated.

The police came and made a report, also being suspicious and cautious.  They handled the playing card very carefully but said there was nothing they could do.  Yet.  The postmaster was shocked and concerned, promising to alert the postal authorities and our mail carrier.  These kind of things often get escalated to the FBI because the mailbox is federal property.

Meanwhile, on FB, concerns and suggestions mounted.  Mama came home and installed web cams so we could find out who was leaving the cards.  We pondered options, decided not to alert the children that we'd received a second one; we wanted them to feel safe in their own home.  I spoke to the school social worker, as a precaution; she was worried.  I contacted our minister, who suggested we leave the person a note.  I called my parents, who were ready to come at a moment's notice; grateful, Mama and I debated when that would be.

It was a restless evening, though I think we faked it well.  Early the next morning, I got a text.  A mom had spoken to a child to see if anything odd was in their own mailbox.  Like what, the kid wondered.  A playing card.  Information came out.  Two friends on the way to the bus stop.  A card found on the way.  Placed in our mailbox, because we are the bus stop house, and I didn't notice right away that it was there.  Another card the next day, again placed in the mailbox, flag up.  I didn't see the flag until later.  The mom read the child the riot act, but I was relieved.  The friend confirmed it at the bus stop.  Two different cards, two different days.  An innocent act that sparked a wildfire of anxiety and concern in the dangerous conditions liberals know that we live in.  Had we acted too hastily?  What if it had not been random and meaningless?  When do you know you are in danger?  To you risk it, with children?  We could have spared ourselves much anxiety if we hadn't worried.  What will we do next time?

We were relieved.  We told everyone that it was okay.  We didn't identify the children.  We were just glad.

And yet.  This was just a taste of the threats, insinuations, discrimination, prejudice, inequality, and violence that many people in minority and religious groups face now in our country, led by the man who leads our country.  We had a whole community of support, here and across several states; we had resources; we had the cooperation of the authorities; we had options.  This is privilege.  Many aren't so lucky.  The mail carrier told me she'd been through a similar incidence with a Muslim family in town receiving threats in the mail.  What happened to them, I wonder?  And we only had 48 hours of it--long enough for us, and it was innocent--some have a lifetime.  This is not the America I want.  And so my family will take this opportunity to commit ourselves to those who are threatened, harrassed, intimidated, and hated.

Giddy Up!

My troop:  13
Moms:  8
Other Girl Scouts:  300
Horses:  114
Days of rain:  3
Memories:  innumerable

I survived our Girl Scout weekend at Rocking Horse Ranch (RHR)!  I had thought, prepared, and stressed about this weekend for more than a year.  There was the initial decision, all the paperwork, lots of money, and then worries about it all being successful.  I take being a leader seriously and feel very responsible for the girls in my troop.  Thankfully, most of the moms were there so I had lots of help keeping track of girls.  See, because they are almost 12 (some of them are already), we let them have a lot of freedom with only occasional checking in, as long as they had a buddy with them at all times. And it worked.  There was only one drama episode (that I know of) and one tiny injury (a scrape on a water slide.)  This is success, indeed.  Plus, they loved it.

I'm hard pressed to remember what happened when.  So, I'll summarize.

• Horses:  Of course, we were at the ranch to ride.  Each troop had two separate trail rides, on Saturday and Sunday each.  But first we had a stable tour, learning about feeding and riding regimens.  It's not easy to take care and keep track of 114 horses, including one that was 55 years old!  Sis had so much fun wandering the stables, sniffing her favorite horse smells.  She really was in her happy place all weekend.  And she rode five times!  Girls could ride standby if there was space on a trail ride, and so she and a few friends hopped on three extra times.  She rode Outlaw, Bravo, Brady, and then Lil' Red twice.  One of the wranglers was especially encouraging to her, liking her spirit.  See, the riding was "Western," which is a different saddle and a completely different way of steering the horse.  Sis has been riding "English"--and was wearing her usual riding gear, including her own helmet, boots, and stable jacket--but when the wrangler asked if she would be posting (a part of English riding), she said, "No, I'm riding Western!"  He was tickled.  And he thought she was doing really well for her first Western rides.  She rode intermediate everytime (she can't go from standstill to canter immediately and so couldn't ride advanced, though she tried.)  None of them cared that it rained during a few of the rides; the rides are only cancelled if there is thunder. All of the girls, and most of the moms (minus me and another couple), rode at least twice, even with the rain. A few of the girls even got to see the horses sent out to pasture at the end of the riding day.  They close the roads and parking lot and escort the untacked horses out in groups.  We lined the drive and petted the horses as they went by.  It really was a beautiful sight.  Sis loved it and would have loved to just live in the stables.  I enjoyed being out at the stables and even had a discussion with the blacksmith (Gommie, I could hear your voice in my conversation with him!), who gave me a few used horseshoes, which I gave to the girls who got up early for the Sunday ride.  Sis is going to hang hers up.  (Side note:  the only unpleasant bit all weekend--even including the drama bit with two of our girls--was a dishonest and unfair GS leader who tried to save 15 spaces for her troop in front of our girls at that early-morning standby.  I had pointed out to her that it was unfair, but she insisted and wouldn't give way.  I'm not great at confrontation and so recruited two of my other moms who were much more aggressive, even yelling.  The dishonest woman changed her story several times--first her troop was just waking up and getting changed, then they were on their way, then they had been there before everyone but just playing in the puddles and not standing in line; also, at first they were leaving at two (then her daughter said, "Mom, you said we were leaving at 6!") and then at noon and would miss their ride--one of my moms called her on her lies.  The head wrangler basically promised all a spot--and the leader still had her girls physically cut mine off (they were bigger.) It really was quite appalling.  She knew she was wrong, but people who know they are in the wrong often dig in much harder than anyone else.  And they don't give in to reason or sympathy.  One of the moms was surprised that, being an out lesbian, I wasn't better at conflict.  I told her that perhaps that was why--I have never seen a person's mind change via a quick conversation in a heated moment, especially not with yelling or any risk of embarrassment on the line.  It takes time and willingness and courage to change your mind.  And it is relatively rare.  Thankfully, all's well that ended well.  And it was a good teachable moment for Sis.)
• Western theme:  I should have guessed that a so-called "ranch" would be western-themed, but I was a little taken aback by all the wagon wheels and horse shoes, faux Indian items (tipis, really?), and cowboy stuff.  Sure, in Texas, we go overboard sometimes with the cowboy-and-Indian stuff, but this was amazing.  It was like the Buc-ee's rest stops, but more so!  There was country music piped in 24/7, even custom pool dividers made to look like TNT barrels, a singing cowboy in spurs, and a caricatured cowboy/miner at a theme lunch.  And, perhaps as a Texan, I was a little bothered by how it was all just window dressing.  I wouldn't quite call it cultural appropriation, but there was something slightly problematic about it all for me, just a vague sense that it was all overdone.  But then, in Texas, I think it's often overdone as well--I know we romanticize the Old West--and that's historically dishonest.  
• Besides horses, the girls swam, went mountain tubing (down a giant slide), bungee jumping on a trampoline, shot rifles and bows, played on a merry-go-round in a playground, went on paddle boats, participated in pie eating contests and trivia contests, sang karaoke, saw a magic show, went to a dance party.  It really was a wonderful array of activities.  And if it hadn't been raining, there would have been more time on the lake; as it was, our campfire was canceled.
• And then there were SWAPS!  I love swaps, which I believe I've said in the past.  And I had happily organized our crafts for RHR--we had a lasso, a bandana, a campfire, and I even made clothespin horses for the girls in our troop.  Most of them had never been to a swap meet before and so I helped get them started with the only phrase you need, "Do you want to swap?"  Of course, Girl Scouts can't say no--"be a sister to every Girl Scout"--and so you trade.  But I do advise taking a lanyard or zipper bag for the trades and a separate baggie to keep the ones you don't want to trade away.  Otherwise, you can trade swaps you don't want to keep or have duplicates of back and forth.  There were so many great ones--sleeping bags, owls, bows and arrows, archery targets, beaches-in-a-bag, pet rocks, pet clouds, tic-tac-toe games in a bag, pies on bottle caps, s'mores, etc etc etc.  I will admit to becoming overzealous; I probably should have left it to the girls, but I had fun swapping, too.  Sis didn't tell me to move along, she said, because she could see how much fun I was having.  And I really was.
• Food.  Yep, lots of food.  Think Cracker Barrel or Golden Corral.  Standard Americana fare.  Better than average.  Copious amounts.  Lots of choice.  But, the moms in my group just couldn't stop talking about food and eating.  It was tiresome--"Oh, this is good.  Isn't this good?  Aren't you surprised at how good this is?  I love salad, I could eat just salad.  I would be full for a whole day on this salad. I could be full for a whole day on this meal. I only need one meal a day.  I never eat this much.  I'm only eating because it's here. We'll have to exercise all of this off.  It's a good thing we don't always eat like this.  I'm giving myself an eating vacation. Look, unlimited soda.  I never drink soda. This is good soda.  I'll just drink this soda now.  I usually only drink water.  I don't drink anything with sugar.  I don't usually eat beef.  I only eat beef occasionally.  This is good beef and I just thought I'd treat myself.  I can't eat any more.  I'm still full from yesterday.  I'll just have one more ice cream.  I won't need to eat again."  STOP.  Mercy, American women often have such complicated and unhealthy relationships with food.  We barely spoke of anything else while we ate.  It was unpleasant.  But the girls loved it.  Sis had french fries, fried chicken, hamburgers, and lots of hot chocolate.  I doubt she had a vegetable all weekend!  And that's fine.  It was a vacation.  
• In the end, it was just a marvelous weekend.  The girls and moms had a delightful time.  And even though I'm not much into games or sports and I do tend to worry and be a stickler for rules, I had a great time, too.

I can't seem to embed the photos in the text.

Again

Looks like I'm behind again!

With the kids asking me not to post much if anything about them here and the rise in my use of FB, I just don't post as much as I used to, though I know that several friends and family members read this first.  So I'll try to do better.

Let's see.  Today, Bud is home with a cold.  I think it's his first sick day in a year or so.  In fact, if the rest of the week weren't so big--school field trip, chorus concert, piano recital--I would have sent him to school.  But as it was, I didn't want to risk his getting worse.

Now I'm just hoping Sis doesn't get it, because she also has the field trip and concert plus a giant two-night Girl Scout "glamping" weekend at a resort.  Wish us all luck.  The weather has been damp and warm, the trees and such have exploded, and everyone seems to be sniffling.

So, what have I been doing?

Well, I went up against the BOE and school administration with other parents in town and defeated an initiative to unlevel middle school, meaning cancel honors classes.  I've composed a long post about this in my head several times because I'm still quite conflicted.  See, there's a huge achievement gap in our town, meaning African-Americans and Latinos score very much lower than their white and Asian counterparts; they are also less represented in said honors classes.  I recognize this as a social justice issue and know that such scores likely indicate albeit unintentional systemic/institutional bias and even racism.  The Democrat, social liberal, and Unitarian Universalist in me wants to rectify this.  But then there's the mom in me that fears that my children's academic achievement would be stalled by a non-leveled class, especially because they've been in the special gifted and talented class for three years (and are still not very challenged academically--how would they fare in an unleveled class??!!)  Certainly unleveling can succeed if properly prepared for, but the district was trying to rush the measure through without invovling parents (without even really telling them) and with little preparation for the changes.  Their instructional plan for high achievers in "regular" classes?  "Raise expectations, provide support, provide understanding."  BS.  That's not a plan.  They also mentioned an honors option, which is really just more homework and projects AT HOME--meaning they don't get instructional time with the teachers and the bulk of their education is independent learning (tough for 7th graders!)  AND then there were mentions that the accelerated learners would help the typical kids.  Great.  Social nightmare for everyone and then my kids would still not be getting their instructional time with the teacher.  So, the parent in me rebelled, took to FB, organized letters and phone calls, and helped convince the BOE not to unlevel until there is a better plan.  We need a better plan and we need to help the students who are being failed by our district.  But I'm still very torn about defeating the unleveling, which is supported by the National Education Association (NEA) and other groups, though several studies say it doesn't change the outcomes for slower learners.  Probably because middle school is way too late to affect monumental change.  It needs to start in preschool!  So . . . . so.  So, we're not homeschooling or sending our kids to private school next year.  And if the district votes to unlevel with a better plan after next year, I will stay informed and involved and maybe even support the plan.  Or take a "gap year" for 8th with my kids and travel around!!

What else?  On Saturday, a friend and I went to a wonderful mandala workshop at Copper Beech Institute in West Hartford and had a lovely, creative, inspiring day.  We walked the labyrinth and had a picnic lunch before class and then made a freehand mandala and a literal gratitude mandala in class.  And I learned how to make colored Zen Gems!  So much fun!  I spent Sunday practicing my new-found skills.

Last week, Mama's office hosted a special "Take Your Child to Work" Day program and so the kids spent 13+ hours following along her usual day!  They were up at 5:30 a.m. and home a bit before 7 p.m.  They had a tour, a special talk on what the company does and how the US's financial system works (they even got money from all over the world.  Ours got Cambodia and the DRCongo), and then went with Mama to her meetings.  They also played Nerf battles with her co-workers, which was their favortie part.  I think they had new-found respect for Mama's long work day and challenging work life.  Sis said, "I'll never think waking up at 7 a.m. for school is early again!"

The next month or so wraps up the year's extracurriculars, for the most part, as well as their time at elementary school.  There will be several special events and middle school orientations.  Plus the school play.  But I'm anxious that it's all coming to an end.  I've really loved their elementary school, especially their teachers, and am nervous about the move to middle school, particularly because most of the kids of my informal moms' network are going to the other middle school.  Which means I sorta start from scratch, just like the kiddos (though, several of the kids in their special class will move on to honors at the middle school; I just don't know those parents as well.)  But we have the summer to get used to the transition.

And I won't even get into all the summer plans . . . .

Dinner Crib Sheet Revised

My most recent Dinner Crib Sheet!  Same ol', same ol'.  I think it might be time to add some different ones (though, they both still refuse beans of any sort, and Bud won't eat potatoes and Sis doesn't like casserole-type dishes.)

Dinner Crib Sheet

Chicken

Chicken and Veggie stir fry—saute chicken, add veg and sauce--1 c stock, ¼ c soy, 2 T sesame, 1 T rice vinegar.  Soak Sai Fun noodles in hot water 10 min or serve over rice

Baked Chicken with rice and gravy—15 min @ 500F then 1 c water for 1 1/2hr @ 350 or 6 hr HIGH 2 1 c water  in crockpot; gravy--4 T oil + 4 T flour + 4 c broth

Chicken and Dumplings—dumplings: 2 c flour, 2 t salt, 2/3 c milk, with ½ c milk added to broth

Chicken Noodle/Vegetable/Tortellini Soup—NO tomatoes; add cheese and corn tortillas for Tortilla soup; Goya azafran for "Spanish" soup

Chicken Pot Pie—4T butter, ½ c flour, 4 c stock, veg, cooked chicken, crust @350F for 1 hour (or filling over noodles)

Soy Sauce Chicken and Rice—saute chicken and flavor with soy sauce

Baked Drumsticks —marinate in soy sauce then 1 hr @ 375F (breasts closer to 30 min)

Chicken cutlets—seasoned flour/egg & milk/breadcrumbs @350 for 30 m

Kebabs marinate—1/2 cups oil, lemon juice, soy sauce marinade

Ground Turkey/Beef (beyond tacos and chilli)

Meatloaf/balls—2 lbs beef/turkey, 1 egg, bread crumbs/oats, milk, soy sauce, seasoning, bake at 350F for 45 min

Goulash--saute onions and brown ground meat.  Boil pasta.  Make cheese sauce (I use 1/4 c each butter and flour; 1 cup milk or so, to favored consistency + approx 2 c grated cheese) Combine all ingredients and serve.

Stroganoff—saute onions and mushrooms, add ground meat and water, then sour cream; serve over egg noodles

Ma’s omelet—ground and scrambled egg

Pork

Smothered Pork Chops—sauteed with onions and seasonings (w/water for gravy)

Pork & Sweet Potatoes—2 lb roast+ 4 sweet potatoes, garlic, 1 c broth, 1 onion @ 6 hrs LOW in crockpot

Baked Ham—325F for 1 ½+ hours

Pork and Apples—sauté pork and cook with sliced apples

Roasted—pork chops, salt and pepper, broiled 5-10 min each side

Pasta

Spaghetti Pie—1 c mozz, ½ c ricotta, ¼ c parm, 10 oz. frozen broccoli, ½ lb pasta

Fettuccine w/ cream sauce & ham—1 egg, 1 T milk, 1 T butter, ¼ c cheese--can be Parm or Mozz (can add asparagus or peas)

Mac and cheese--white sauce (equal parts butter & flour, add milk; I use 1/4 c each butter and flour; 1 cup milk or so, to favored consistency) + approx 2 c grated cheese + cooked pasta; optional bake in oven w/panko and cheese

Easy Marinara--28 oz Marzano peeled tomatoes + 5 T butter + 1 yellow onion peeled and halved; simmer for 45 min

Sausage Pasta—saute sausage, onion, peppers, seasonings, oil and toss in pasta

Breakfast for Dinner

Crepes-- 2 eggs, 1 c milk, 1 c flour, 1 T melted butter, 1 T sugar, ¼ t salt

Dutch Babies— 2 eggs, 1 t. oil, ½ c milk, ½ c flour, 2 T sugar, ¼ t salt, ¼ t cinnamon.  10min @ 425F; 5-8min @ 350F

Pancakes—mix plus 1 egg, 1 c milk, 1 T butter

Waffles--3 eggs, 1 c milk, 1/2 c butter, 1 T vanilla, 2 c flour, 1/2 t salt, 1 T powder, 2 t sugar

Other Dinners

Baked Potatoes—pierced, oiled, and salted for 1+ hr @350F (N won’t eat these)

Broccoli Noodle Soup—onions, 6 c broth, 8 oz noodles, 2 pkg frozen broccoli, 6 c milk, 1 lb cheese

Cowboy supper—layers of red potatoes, carrots, onion, sausage, bell pepper, cabbage in beer/stock

Brisket—4+lbs w/potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, stock, 2 bay leaves on LOW 8-10

Welsh rarebit—8 oz cheddar, 3 T milk/ale, 1 tsp mustard poured on toast

Quiche--3-4 eggs, 2 big spoons sour cream, cheese, protein/nuts, veg (def. frozen spinach) in crust @ 350F for 45 min

Potato and Greens soup—butter, oil, leeks, kale/greens, potatoes (even chicken or beef), stock

Winter Veg Soup—kale, potatoes, white beans, diced tomatoes, stock

One Pan Dinner—chix breasts/pork chops, potatoes, broccoli, green beans etc, olive oil bake 350F for 30-45

Roast Veg—gb, asparagus, broccoli, potatoes, yams (w/brown sugar & cinnamon), carrots with oil and salt/pepper at 375+F for 30 mins+

Italian Wedding Soup—meatballs, stock, kale, orzo

Seasonal Hobbies

When I'm not chaffeuring kids or doing any of my volunteer work or chores and errands, I am exploring a few new hobbies, which change a little with the season (I crochet more during the colder months, but I do have a spring project.)  And there's always piano.  I don't read as much as a). people seem to think I do or b). I'd like.  I do have several on my kindle and proverbial night stand--a book on the porcupine theory of parenting, a book by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich on Mormon women in the 19th century, a history of stone walls in New England, a travel essay book on recreating the Oregon Trail, and who knows what else, really.

I just signed up for a class in recognizing bird songs through the orinthological lab at Cornell.  As I was following the sample lesson on the American robin ("cheerily, cheerily, cheer up, cheerily, cheer up"), the cats went nuts!  Soon, Albus was at my shoulder and Hermione was at my feet, both with big wide eyes.  They kept looking around trying to locate the singing bird.  For the cats' response alone, I signed up for the class!

I still have my weekly Natural Singer lessons, either audio or video alternating.  I do the audio ones more often because I can play them on my phone as I do chores around the house.  I don't know if I'm improving, but I do have more confidence.  I'm a better singer if I do it accapella than if I try to sing along to something, becauseI can't keep up with the words or the breathing.  Still, I'd rather sing along to my favroite songs.

With the good weather, we're doing more bike riding.  Mama has worked out some local trails that we can all do (wide and flat.)  I'll need some more practice before I can really do a long ride.

And then there's my Yoga Dance class!  I think this is my first exercise class ever, unless you count a few seasons of ballroom dancing.  I'm not sure it's an exercise class in the truest sense of the word, nor a yoga class either.  It's more of a free-form movement class with some more choreographed segments.  And there's an overlay of mysticism (is that the word?), with references to chakras (which here has to do with slower or faster, abdomen or arms, etc.)  I love it.  I knew I'd found my people when, during the first lesson, the teacher would move left and some of the class moved left and some moved right!  See, I always follow the teacher, as a mirror, not going the way she is going, i.e. to right or left.  I can't do it, or even explain it!  Anyway, it begins with some mat time and then lots of dance--sometimes based in yoga poses like Warrior 2 or Goddess (I don't really know their names), sometimes free-flowing, sometimes a class form (like a promenade)--and then some final mat stretches.  I wear a skirt because I like the swishing feeling, with bike shorts underneath.  And these little grip socks so I don't slip.  What's not to like?

Weekend Sports Warriors

It was a weekend of activity for us.  Sis had her first horse show of the season on Saturday, a home show which was kind of a dress rehearsal for the rest of competition.  She rode Steeler, which made her happy; through, really, riding any of them--Tucker, Pooh, Murphy, Brooke, Levi--would make her happy.  In fact, I'm convinced that she'd be just as glad to be around them as ride them.  Horse love is strong with that one.  She earned third and fourth places in equitation (don't ask, I don't know) and then first and second places in pole jumping.  She was very pleased, even commenting that she had one of each color now (which is what I said about swim meet ribbons decades ago!)   She stayed afterwards to help with clean up and to hang out with the other riders.  She loves it all.

On Sunday, Bud had a kung fu performance at a local college's dragon festival.  It was outside, which was a bit of a surprise, but it was at least a beautiful day (it had rained Saturday, so Sis's horse thing was inside.)  Bud performed his fist, broad sword, nine chain, and straight sword forms.  There was some trouble with the mats on the concrete--they kept slipping, making the kids recalibrate their forms to adapt.  We were afraid someone was going to be injured during a jump.  Bud landed funny on a cartwheel and hurt his ankle some, but he is better this morning.  He loves kung fu.  And we love watching him.  Any performance is a great learning experience, even one that is less than ideal.  He isn't competing this May, because of the school play, so now he can enjoy the sport instead of stressing over form for a few weeks.  He'll like that.

Tidbits

Just some short stories, as I mull over my post on schools, leveling, racism, and my kids' future.

But first, something from yesterday on my historic house tour.  There was a beautiful moment that solidified for me why we work so hard to try to get the tours right for our students. We were in the keeping room and one of the students had asked me if the characters in the Reader's Theater were real, historical people. The answer is yes, though the scenario is imagined, and so I went through the list explaining who each one was. I explained that we had specifically included a free African-American businessman who really ran a fishing business on our river, because we wanted students to hear more than that there were slaves in Connecticut living in the basement of other historic houses--that some slaves became free, and also that some people of color hadn't been slaves and even owned businesses. And this little African-American boy sitting at my feet whispered, "Because black lives matter." And I said louder, so the whole class could hear, "Yes, black lives do matter."  It's why my colleagues and I do what we do.

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We went to the Bronx Zoo over spring break on one of the beautiful spring days.  Mama and Sis went in search of the big cats while Bud and I went to the penguins.  Call it method acting research for his part as a penguin in the school play!  We all met up to do the bug carousel, butterflies and gorillas, who had several new babies among them.  I teased Bud that he was like a baby gorilla, very clingy on mom when he's asleep.  On vacations, I often share the small hotel double bed with him and he's a heat-seeking missile, rolling my way constantly; I guess I'm an adequte substitute for his Mr. Big penguin, who doesn't travel.  It's actually pretty cute.

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We tried something new with egg-dyeing this year.  Instead of the traditional vinegar-and-color-tablet, we did three different kinds of eggs.

• Whipped-cream eggs:  Soak boiled eggs in vinegar for 3-5 minutes.  Meanwhile, spread whipped cream (or shaving cream) on cookie sheet.  Dot with liquid food coloring and swirl with wooden skewer.  Roll eggs in cream and keep them covered for 30 minutes.  They were beautiful until we washed off the cream and the color came off, too.  We'd try again, though.
• Nail-polish eggs:  In disposable conatiners filled with water, we dropped and swirled different colors of nail polish.  We then dropped the egg through the water.  It would have been better if we'd had the little wire scoopers from the Paas kits to retrieve the eggs.  As it was, our hands were covered in nail polish.  And the room stank.  But the eggs were lovely.
• Later, without the kids, I tried the crayola trick--warm hardboiled eggs in hot water and then write on them with crayon, which will melt onto egg.  Meh, it just looked like I'd colored on the egg.  Maybe my eggs weren't hot enough.

The Bunny liked them all, though.  This year she didn't put anything in all the plastic eggs, just left a reward at the end of the hunt.

Updates

Spring break was relaxing and wonderful.

School has been crazy this week, mainly because of a big controversy in town that has many parents upset.  Mama and I are figuring out what our plans are.

Easter, the Bronx Zoo, bike riding.  Plus all the usual Girl Scouts, kung fu, speedskating, horses, piano . . . and my new Yoga Dance class.

And today is the first day of historic house tours!  I've been running around this week finalizing set up and a new Reader's Theater script we're going to be presenting.

Whew.

At least we didn't get the flu, even after being exposed to Gong (who only found out later he was sick.)

Spring Break

Spring Break starts in about three and a half hours.  I know we're all ready.  We've been going at it pretty hard in the last few weeks, even the fun stuff.  And we could all use some sleep and R&R.  By "we" here, I mean the kids and me.  Mama doesn't have any time off before next Friday.  And then we'll do Easter prep and a big meal with her parents here on Saturday and the Bunny will be here before Sunday morning.

Until then, I'm doing a little planning, both for spring break and the Easter prep meal.  Here's what I've come up with.

Ideas for a Spring Break at Home (beyond video games)

• bicycle riding
• a hike/nature walk at a nearby park
• teaching the kids how to quill
• baking/cooking
• game night
• sea glass search and kite flying at the beach
• puzzle (for those rainy days)
• garden clean up (it's way too early to plant)
• nostalgia time with Lego sets?
• home movie night
• maybe a trip into the city to see the new miniatures exhibition?  or the Central Park Zoo?
• and, of course, there will be movies (Sing! perhaps)

Easter Meal Ideas

• ham with madeira and green peppercorn sauce?  Trying to find the recipe Mama used last year (I've been inconsistent in blogging recipes, which is most frustrating when I can't find them.)
• macaroni and cheese or scalloped potatoes
• green beans?  
• green salad
• almond bundt cake?  or some other yummy baked good.  Every time Smitten Kitchen posts a new baked good, I want to make it; my list is long.
• rolls
• deviled eggs
• roasted nuts? chex mix?

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I think this might be the recipe, adapted from a book called All About Braising by Molly Stevens.

Ham with Madeira and Green Peppercorn Sauce

2 tbs extra virgin olive oil
2 carrots, coarsely chopped
2 medium yellow onions (12 ouncew total), coarsely chopped
2 celery stalks, coarsely chopped
1 heeaping tablespoon green peppercorns, in brine, rinsed and drained
2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
four 3 inch leafy fresh rosemary sprigs
2 small or 1 large bay leaf
1 cup dry madeira, such as sercial or rainwater
1 cup chicken or veal stock, homemade or store bought
one 6 to 8 pound bone in ham, fully or partially cooked, preferably shank or rump

1. Heat the oven to 300 degrees

2. The aromatics: in a large dutch oven or deep braising pan (7 quart) large enough to hold the ham, heat the oil over medium high heat. when the oil is shimmering, add the carrot, onions, and celery. saute, stirring a few times, untilo the vegetales brown on the edges and begin to soften, about 10 minutes. add the peppercorns, garlic rosemary and bay leaft, stir and saue for another 2 minutes

3. The braising liquid: pour in the maderia and bring to a boil lower the heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes to meld the flavors and reduce the liquid somewhat. pour in the stock, bring to a simmer and simmer for another 5 minutes

4. The braise: whether you bought a fully cooked or partially cooked (sometimes labeled "ready to cook") ham will affect the cooking time. lower the ham into the pot, setting it eithe flat side down or on its side, whichever fitw beswt. cover tightly with the lid or heavy duty foil and slide the pot into the lower part of the oven. for a fully cooked ham, braise until fork tender and heted lo l the way through, abut 1 hour and 45 minutes. for a partially cooked ham, braise until the ham is fork tendr and an instnt red thermometer read 155 degrees when inserted in the thickest part of the ham, closer to 2 1/2 hours (be careful that the thermometer does not hit the bone, which will give you a falsely high reading)

5. The finish: transfer the ham to a platter and cover loosely with foil to keep warm. strain the braising liquidf, and discard the vegetables - they will be too salty. skim as much fat from the surface of the braiswing liquid as yu can withyout losing patience. taste, if the liquid tasts a bit weak, pour it into medium saucepan and simmer to reduce until it tastes like a mild broth, 10 to 15 minutes. if the liquid is already tasty as is, set if over a low burner to keep warm. the sauce will not need any salt - in fact, if you do reduce it, be careful not to go too far, as it can quickly become too salty.

6. Serving: carve the ham into think slices and erve warm or at room temperture with a bit of the warm sauce spooned over the top.