Good Morning

Gatha for waking up:

Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to life full in each moment
and to look at all beings with
the eyes of compassion.

It's been a week of "life in a bed," up and down the whole time. I must not have fully herniated the disc until Friday and so find myself not as well off today as I was mid-last week. But I'm standing and walking a bit, which becomes very important to me.

On another note, the week has seen the demise of my church. On Tuesday, the minister resigned. Yesterday, the congregation voted to sell the church buildings to pay off debt (including the minister). The congregation will continue to exist, such as it is, but without a minister or a space, which begs the question of what kind of church that can be. I'm sad in many ways, even if I see the rationality and inevitability of it all. But, our minister was our friend, supporting us and celebrating with us for more than six years. We were married in that church (a few times!) and the kids were dedicated there. Through it, I found non-violent communication, meditation, the bread pledge miracle, and all of Unitarian Universalism. What will it be not to have it as it's been? I feel a bit lost at sea, grasping for a float to hang onto. I recognize that this opportunity gives the congregation a chance to redefine and redesign itself, something I know needs doing for our spiritual and financial health, but it has come on so fast.

And then, one of the main touchstones of my mothering, Mothering Magazine, has suddenly ceased publication. It's disappearance leaves me bereft, even though there is an online community (of which I've never been a part). The magazine would arrive regularly, offering ideas and inspirations but also challenging my ideas of motherhood--because the magazine was frequently to the left of where I stood--allowing me to reconsider, reevaluate, and reaffirm my beliefs. Now, it is gone, too.

So, my spirits are flagging somewhat, a week into this. Beyond my back and the church, I've missed parties. I'm canceling volunteer activities, including the historic house tours I was so excited to give and the school lessons I was excited to teach to Bud's class. I'm almost entirely dependent on Mama Hungry and Gommie; the kids are staying away because I'm delicate (they can't jump on my bed) and not fun.

It's morning, though, and Monday at that, so I will embrace the new 24 hours before me, glad at least to have them.