Day is (Almost) Done

And it is closing out on a happy note. The kids had a few more breakdowns outside but managed our big playdate this afternoon with aplomb--no fights, no breakdowns, no tears. In fact, Sis especially really played with her friends, while Bud occupied himself merrily with arts and crafts. And the moms got all caught up, something we haven't managed in about a month, between illness, vacation, school activities, and the like. The house is trashed, dinner is made, the kids are taking a tv break, Mama is on her way home (though she will be extra late because the offsite meeting was further away than the office), and I feel like we made it through the day well enough. Friends (and Aunt Banana who called to chat for a good long time) always make it better.

The Flavor Didn't Last

I spoke too soon.

The outdoor utopia ended when lunch was served, late to their reckoning, with Sis still wailing that she hadn't had a snack. The meal--baked chicken, rice, cherries, and grapes--was deemed unacceptable because there was no gravy. This lacuna required tears and anger from both children. My begrudging offers of soy sauce or ketchup did nothing to ameliorate the situation.

Now they are fighting because each is talking and copying the other. A litany of "stop copying me" is going back and forth, like the call and response at church.

It's going to be a long day.

Cure-All

What's the bests cure for children who insist on playing together but fight and argue every second that they do?

Clue: it's not a "time-in" family meeting. Or alone time in their room. Or even a relaxing guided meditation.

It's the outdoors.

Forced kicking and screaming into shoes and socks, they are now extremely happy playing outdoors.

Together.

Buddha and the Broccoli Meditation

Think about broccoli the next time you have some.

Or really, whatever you eat next.

Sit and look at it. Smell it. Touch it. Bite. Chew. How does it taste? Was there cheese sauce? Or soy sauce? Or just seasoned salt? Does it stick in your teeth? How does it feel to swallow it? How is the stem different than the "pillows"?

We practiced mindful eating the other night while we were discussing Buddha. See, the kids were scared to sleep at Ma and Gong's, because all their things weren't there to protect them from monsters (our monsters won't enter their room because of the happy critters, art, music etc). I think it was Mama who suggested that Buddha would protect them at Ma's. How, Sis wanted to know. And so began a discussion of Buddha and how there are stories that he once defeated demons by ignoring them. I told Sis and Bud they each had Buddhanature inside them, as Buddhism teaches; everyone does. Call it the divine spark. Call it spirit. Call it soul or heart or whatever. Christians believe Christ was divine. Muslims think Muhammed was. We're Unitarian Universalists and so believe everyone is, no one more than anyone else.

But how does that relate to vegetables? Mindfulness is an important concept in Buddhism, the idea of being in the present, not worrying about the future or fretting about the past, but also being fully engaged in what you are doing. As one saying goes, "when you wash the rice, wash the rice." The exact opposite of mindfulness would be, say, driving and talking on the phone or having a conversation with someone while watching tv. Buddha's strength came in part from being mindful and so we led the broccoli meditation to give the kids a sense of what we were talking about.

They've had a lot of questions about religion recently, starting with Christ and the Crucifixion at Easter and moving on to the Greek and Roman gods and now Buddhism. So on Saturday we visited a Buddhist temple in Flushing, a small Chinese family association in an elaborate building with two floors of altars. The kids were in awe of the statues and decorations, it being much more elaborate than anything at a UU church, but recognized the table of offerings and folded money from our Chinese New Year celebrations. They copied Ma's actions, mimicking her kneeling and praying. And then had questions about all the imagery, of sword fighters, of Guan Yin (or Kuan Eim in Thai), of the calligraphy.

Later when we were all home, after offering birthday prayers at the family altar, Ma showed the children the different statues and objects on the altar and explained how to pray. First you kneel with your hands together at eye level, then you bend and touch your forehead and palms to the floor. The first time is for Buddha and, if I remember correctly, the second time for his teachings, the third for the monks, the fourth for your parents, the fifth for your teacher. Bud wanted to add a sixth, for whatever he wanted to think happy thoughts about, our immediate family's prayer-like ritual at bedtime.

So, they're learning more about religions . . . but it doesn't make them think that broccoli is divine.

Invasion of the "Body Decorators"

The kids wanted to play salon this morning. Only that's not what they called it. Today they called it "body decoration." But instead of tatoos and piercings, I was slathered in 4 different sweet-smelling lotions, including a lovely rose that they bought me just because and the lavender-scented lotion that we would use on them as babies. And when I say slathered, I mean slathered: thick, blubber-like layers of lotions, kindly warmed by their little hands, but barely rubbed in on my feet, arms, knees, thighs, shoulders, neck, back. So, I'm a little, er, moist, but I smell good. And I look so pretty because there are 2 headbands and 4 clips in my tussled hair. Bud tried to stretch a hairband from ear to ear, over my nose, but I convinced him that my ears couldn't quite bend like he wanted them to. (At least I don't have any make-up and my clothes don't really invite fashionable drapings!). But even though I'm a tad heavily scented and my hair is creative, it all felt good and I'm ready to embrace the day. And isn't that what a salon, I mean, body decoration, should be all about?

Reading Amanda Hesser

I just finished Amanda Hesser's Cooking for Mr. Latte, a memoir-cum-cookbook adapted from the years she dated and then married Mr. Latte. I'm late in reading this, a book that came out years ago, but enjoyed it just the same. Particularly because, with our weekend at the grandparents', I could leisurely read in the middle of the day, full chapters at a time, while the kids played.

And while she records a very food-intense world--she was a food writer at the NYTimes, knew Julia Child, and regularly dines with Jeffrey Steingarten--a world as foreign to me as many of the fancy NY restaurants she visits, I enjoyed vacationing in her NY foodie world, mainly because I just haven't enjoyed cooking recently and most of it has, until the beginning of our CSA last week, been a chore. Maybe that is the nature of trying to cook organic, local, and seasonal in suburban Connecticut as spring warms into summer; maybe it's what happens when the kids just want the same thing over and over; maybe it's what happens after almost a month-long emotional eating binge--perhaps it's a subconscious fast.

Coincidentally, while reading her book, I was also in another food-intense world. Because food is something Ma, Gong, and Goo do well. The birthday weekend started at dim sum in Flushing, with two new favorite dishes for me--sauteed bean leaves and this churro-like dough wrapped in a white noodle and slathered with hoisin sauce. Plus, we enjoyed all our usual favorites, like Sis's love affair with don ton and custard buns, shumai and ha gao and ha chung (noodles with shrimp). Bud discovered and devoured shrimp in several guises. Then we continued to the Chinese grocery, where Sis and Bud stared for an entire half-hour at all the fresh, live seafood, including crab, lobster, fish, eel, turtle, and frogs! (Bud had earlier seen a lobster on a truck and wondered if the lobsters were going to an aquarium; "nope," I said, "dinner!" I don't think he believed me, even when we were standing in the grocery store). We wrapped up our outing at not one but two bakeries.

We then went home and savored the fresh fruits while contemplating what we were going to grill. Soon, Goo and I were side-by-side in the kitchen, goodnaturedly competing to shape the best pizza dough for the grill. This was followed by "chicken on the bone," fried tofu in peanut sauce, stir fried cauliflower with shrimp, sauteed Asian mix (two way, one with soy sauce and garlic; the other with miso), and two birthday cakes. Today, after a morning of oatmeal with fresh fruit and pastries from the bakery, we made our own wontons when we got back from the beach. We ate these with steamed and stir fried vegetables and two kinds of noodles, wide white and thin, long yellow. And I'm betting we won't leave before there is another meal. After the ice cream man comes by.

Sure, it's not the world of Armagnac and arugula, but I think Hesser would appreciate the family's interest and immersion in all things edible. The book, the weekend--it all makes me want to cook again.

(Though, one of the foods I really wanted to try from her book, oatmeal cookies with orange zest, wasn't included as a recipe, even though it was mentioned twice! I guess I'll have to experiment. Though maybe it's Quaker's Vanishing Oatmeal Cookie, a box-label recipe she likes, with zest added).

Happy Birthday!

To you, Gong and Goo!

You're just like twins, except, well, 40 some-odd years apart.

We're looking forward to celebrating with you today, at dim sum, at the beach, in the backyard, with the ice cream truck!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

"Bud, would you like some douche?" Sis asked during bath this evening.

"Yeah, I don't have enough," he replied.

Let's go back a bit.

Sis was at the pediatrician's this week because of her fever. During the visit I mentioned that she hadn't been sleeping, but only because of nightmares (not pain). The doctor wanted to know what nightmares. There have been two: in one, Sis steps on a stick but it's a snake; in the other, she is sprayed by a stinky skunk.

The ped, our favorite Dr. L, latched onto the latter. Her own beloved dogs were once sprayed by a skunk. And, you see, she is Russian, where she says they have no skunks, so she only knew them as cute little creatures, not stinkpots. But she learned, quickly. It was a midnight nature break for the dogs and they came racing back into the house. She didn't know what had happened. So she called animal control . . . and they explained skunks and tomato juice. Except that didn't work.

And so they recommended douche. And it seems to have worked.

Now douche, for Sis, is some special miracle cleaning soap.

Like the bubbles in the tub tonight.

I did actual try to squelch the use of the word, which they pronounce (hysterically) as "dush." But mentioning that it is a word people don't use much because it is a special "vagina cleaner" seems to have given it extra cache instead of an ick factor.

So, if you hear either of them mention that they need some dush, just let it go.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: Escarole

Some notes on escarole:

• Look for bright green escarole with no signs of decay on the outer leaves.
• Store in the fridge in a plastic bag (or those keep-fresh containers).
• I like it best braised or in soup.
• I will also use escarole interchangeably with chard or kale or spinach, when in a cooked dish.
• One of my all-time favorite vegetable dishes, Potato and Greens Soup, features escarole.

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Potato and Greens Soup

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 bunch leeks, thoroughly rinsed and thinly sliced (about 2 cups)
4 1/2 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade (or veg stock)
salt and freshly ground pepper
8 white potatoes (about 3 1/2 lbs), peeled and cut into 3/4 cubes
1 bunch arugula or other bitter greens such as curly endive or escarole, washed

Heat the oil and butter in a large heavy saucepan over low heat. Add the leeks and stir well. Cover and cook until soft, about 5 minutes.

Add stock and bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add potatoes and bring back to a simmer. Cook until tender but not mushy, 10 to 15 minutes. Turn off heat.

Ladle about 3 cups of soup into a blender (don't fill more than halfway). Hold the lid on with a dish towel to prevent splattering, and blend until smooth. Return pureed soup to saucepan, stir to combine, and bring back to a simmer. Season to taste.

Stir in greens. Cook for 2-3 minutes, until wilted and bright green, and serve immediately.

Martha Stewart Living

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Escarole and Bean Soup

1/4 lb White beans
5 c vegetable or chicken broth
2 Tablespoons olive oil
2 Tablespoons minced garlic
1 onion, diced
2 c chopped escarole
Salt and pepper -- to taste
croutons, optional

SOAK THE BEANS OVERNIGHT IN WATER. Drain. Place beans in a pot, add broth, cover and cook over medium heat until beans are soft, about 30 minutes. (or use canned white beans if there isn't time to soak and cook...) Meanwhile, place another pot on the stove, add oil, place over medium heat, add garlic and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 7 minutes, or until onions soften. Add the escarole and continue to cook until wilted, another 10 minutes. Add the beans and broth to the pot with the escarole. Add salt and pepper as desired, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Serve hot, with the addition of croutons if desired. serves 8

from our CSA people

Variation: Tomato Escarole and Bean Soup

To the above recipe, add a can of tomatoes (I used crushed; use your favorite) to the garlic and onion when you saute it. Then continue the recipe as described. Be careful if you reheat it--it can turn bitter.

Mommy Hungry

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Garlic Escarole Soup with Rice

1 tablespoon olive oil

3 medium onions, thinly sliced

4 garlic cloves, minced

8 cups stock

1 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 medium head escarole, washed and roughly chopped (about 5 cups)

1/2 cup Arborio rice (I just used pre-cooked white rice, as I had it on hand)

grated Parmesan cheese to taste

Heat oil in large soup pot over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook uncovered for 15-20 minutes, until caramelized. Reduce heat to low, add garlic, and cook for another 5 minutes.

Add stock and bring to a boil. Add the salt and rice and cook for 5 minutes.

Add escarole. Simmer, covered, for about 10 minutes, until rice and escarole are tender. Season to taste with salt. Serve with Parmesan cheese. (We didn't have cheese and so served it with a bit of lemon juice).

Johnna Albi and Catherine Walthers, Greens Glorious Greens! (adapted--they had chicken stock and shredded chicken, too)

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The Real Recipe for Italian Wedding Soup (at least the one we've used before)

1/2 pound extra-lean ground beef
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons dry bread crumbs (or finely crushed cracker crumbs)
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
5 3/4 cups chicken broth
2 cups thinly sliced escarole (or spinach)
1 cup uncooked orzo pasta
1/3 cup finely chopped carrot
2-3 cloves garlic, crushed

In medium bowl, combine meat, egg, bread crumbs, cheese, basil and onion powder; shape into 3/4 inch balls.
In large saucepan, heat broth to boiling; stir in escarole, orzo pasta, chopped carrot and meatballs. Return to boil, then reduce heat to medium. Cook at slow boil for 10 minutes, or until pasta is al dente. Stir frequently to prevent sticking.

allrecipes.com

Like a Fish

Or, well, maybe more like a slow, round, happy (and cute!) manatee . . . .

Yep, I went swimming today!

About 24 hours after the neurologist said that not only were there no lesions on my spinal cord (and btw, that ALS patients don't get lesions and that MS patients get spinal lesions after brain ones, and therefore after symptoms. If we'd only known. And if the ortho hadn't made stuff up.), the discs the ortho said were herniating are so far from anything that they aren't the source of my pain. It's all muscular. Additionally, he said that because I went for close to 40 years with little difficulty with my recently-diagnosed scoliosis that I am not likely to have too much severe trouble down the line. Lastly, he said it was important to strengthen and stretch my back muscles (i.e. continue PT) and to continue to lose weight.

So I went swimming today after consulting with my PT about best practices.

I'm not swimming laps right now. Not total laps anyway. I swim half, walk half, and then do some stretches in the water. Ending the whole thing, just for fun, with floating. And then I'm supposed to take several days off, until next Tuesday, before I try it again.

But I went (at 4 pm today, with the bikini-clad high school girls and, arriving separately, these extremely buff men--I could tell without my glasses, across the pool--maybe off-duty police/firefighters? Is the pool the afternoon hot spot?). And enjoyed it. And was glad to be back.

I'll be even more glad if I can lift my arms in the morning.

Traffic Tales

We were in traffic for about 8 hours yesterday, to Queens, to Midtown, back to Queens, and home. In rush hour 3 of the 4 times. And in rain 3 of the 4 times. Some events of note:

• The morning drive took so long that Bud forgot where we were going! Takes. So. Long. Mama and I laughed til we cried. Which elicited "why are you laughing?" from the backseat with no real explanation from the front.
• Traffic was so slow on the LIE back out to Queens that we saw a pigeon land and sit on the roof of the car in front of us!
• When we stopped on I-95 on the way home so I could run to the restroom, I had a real yearning for Texas . . . and for Buckee's!!!

Closing the Book

In rain and traffic, we got to NYU Medical Center after dropping the kids off at Ma and Gong's. Good news: the neuro couldn't find a thing to worry about in my MRI. And he called my ortho both a jerk and an ass. So all good! We're done with that now.

A special thanks to Ma and Gong for watching the kids all day.

More on the fun parts of the day later.

For Cat Lovers

Though today's post is sad, this glorious blog about three ginger cats (and their friends) in Wales has beautiful photos of the moggies. I can't wati to read backwards through it. "She" in the blog is the illustrator Jackie Morris.

I'm a Loser

It's a good thing I don't gamble: I was wrong about the ear infection. Sis had some kind of virus, went straight to her tonsils. It's on its way out, though she registered a fever this afternoon at the doctor's office. Her attitude rises and falls, which the doctor says was a clue that it probably wasn't an ear, which would have just kept her down. She's perky tonight, though, especially with the lure of making some of those little plastic suncatcher thingies while I make dinner.

But Bud is crying. Goodness, maybe he has the virus now.

In the Paper

Just a few things, several of them poignant:

• Everybody eats rice
• Cookbooks on doing it yourself
• "Stunning" stats on the growing acceptability of "gay and lesbian relations"
• In favor of a classical education--grammar, logic, rhetoric (the Trivium)
• Nurse Brown, in yet another touching post on life on the oncology ward
• Your brain on computers
• Childhood accidents and the rise in risk for the rest of the family
• A rabbi talks on dying and "December" times
• On the inadequacy of language for the death of a child
• And a happy diagnosis for columnist Kristoff

Plus a few more, added late:

• Beware the Big Shaggy!
• When being a foolish doctor is good
• And I can't even read this article on "incidentaloma" when routine medical scans have glitches that cause well people to be ill
• And Dana Jennings on "pushing back at cancer"

Fever Do-Over

Sis is sick again. Fever, lack of appetite, "headaches" (i.e. ear pain), lots of tears.

We're heading to the ped this afternoon.

Shall we take bets?

I'll put it all on ear infection.

Get Well Soon, Pop!

I'm writing this in large letters so you can see--I hope you feel better soon and can put your glasses back on! And we'll send happy vibes that the margins are clean and they will get all the melanoma.

Ordinary Miracles

See, that song is stuck in my head. And, well, it makes a better title than the other songs that made me cry last week, including "Live Like You Were Dying" and "I Run" (Melissa Etheridge's song about breast cancer).

Actually, the former is probably more apropos for this post, which is my "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in the MRI Tunnel" (or doctor's waiting room). Because I had some clarity during the week we awaited the second test results as well as since then.

So here we go, the Top Ten things, big and small, I realized:

10. I want to finish cross-stitching the birth announcements we started for the kids in 2005.

9. And I want to finish crocheting the Christmas stockings for Mama and me.

8. I cared about all the junk I have stashed in the basement and don't want anyone but me to clean it out.

9. I didn't care about the clutter in the rest of the house.

8. Nor did I suddenly desire to go sky diving, Rocky Mountain climbing, or bull riding, to borrow from the song, or really regret that there are lots of places I've never been, things I've never done, things I don't own.

7. Though, I'd like to see London and Rome again. (And just for Mama, Antarctica and the penguins.)

6. I'm glad I'm a stay-at-home-mom and don't regret abandoning my career or academic life at all.

5. I'm quicker to recognize and stop scary "movies in my head."

4. I'm great at crossing bridges before I get there, sometimes 2 or 3 ahead.

3. I'm seeing the miracle in everyday with more clarity.

2. Meditation helps.

1. I am blessed by the friends and family in my life, especially Mama.

(And a bonus: any kind of afterlife didn't concern me as much as "life after" for the people left behind).

My Name is You

Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.

--Susan B. Anthony, Unitarian

Today was the last day of RE for us this year, which was memorable in many ways: our director is leaving; I won't be teaching next year; and our kids won't have the same teachers next year.

The RE service always includes all the classes. My class, the Grades 2-4, acted as Greeters, handing out the Orders of Service. They also lit the chalice as I read the quote above, which was intended to embrace the importance of each week's class and not just the big service at the end.

Sis and Bud's class got up to sing a song which the teachers had adapted to their class. Guess which part I like best?! Bud and Sis, who knew the lyrics by heart in practice, were (not surprisingly) shy at the performance and wouldn't do the hand signals or call out their names (hey, at least they stood up there without me; I just sat right in front of them in the front row). You could however see their lips moving to every single word, even if you couldn't hear them (don't fret, Gommie, we taped this too).

"We All Sing With the Same Voice"

by Philip Miller & Sheppard Greene (with adaptations)

My hair is black and brown. My hair is yellow.

My eyes are brown and green and blue.

( Each child calls out his name , whatever order we end up standing in)

My name is YOU.

We live in Stamford, I’m from Westport, We come from Weston and Fairfield.

I live down the street, By the mountains, near the beach.

I come from everywhere, And my name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

Sometimes I get mad and mean. Sometimes I feel happy.

And when I want to cry I do.

When I’m by myself at night, I hold my bunny tight, Until the morning light,

My name is you.

I have sisters one, two, three, In my family’s there’s just me.

I’ve got one mommy. I’ve got two.

My friends live on my street. Our cats walk on furry feet.

We love all our pets. My name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

I like to run and climb. I like to sit and read.

I like to watch my TV too. And when it’s time for bed, I like my stories read, “Sweet dreams” and “ love you” said.

My name is you.

We all sing with the same voice, the same song, The same voice.

We all sing with the same voice, And we sing in harmony.

Adventures in Cooking Our CSA Share: First Box

I just can't stop eating salad. I've had two a day since Mama and I picked up our first CSA box of the season on Friday. Only, I've realized that I want to make some of my own salad dressings--I don't like the bitter aftertaste of low fat ones and even some of the regular dressings have ingredients that sound like science class. That just doesn't jive with my local, fresh-from-the-farm greens. So I'll be working on my Buttermilk Ranch and also Green Goddess dressings in the coming weeks. Lettuce this good deserves a little something special. Until then, Newman's Own, originating from right here in CT (and we know people who knew him!), will do and is good (but, oh the calories!).

This afternoon, Mama stir fried both the bok choy and the Asian mix we received, mainly thin soy sauce and Maggi, both of which we ate over noodles.

That leaves radishes and turnips, for those salads, and escarole, which I'll put in a white bean soup. And two farm chickens, both about 3 lbs each, one of which they ate yesterday, beer-can chicken style! I'll bake the other one tomorrow, to eat with rice and gravy a la Gommie.

Next week: KALE! One of my favorites . . . .

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Recipes to follow

Beer Can Chicken

White Bean and Escarole Soup