Hands-Free Hands On

I've been reading Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford, one of those books via popular blogs that inundate the shelves these days.  Her essays are very popular on Huff Post and FB, being reposted and such repeatedly.  As I sympathize with the idea of mindful parenting freed from the distraction of digital media, I picked it up--I can always use new techniques for keeping my smartphone off!

I probably shouldn't have read it all at once, with its earnest stories of how much she had gained from turning what seemed like her entire world towards her children and her poetic reflections on the rewards of presence.  It became very repetitive very quickly, especially as it was lacking in any kind of critical analysis of the causes of such distraction personally or culturally, her own challenges and failures, the advantages and disadvantages of such a child-centered almost-attachment parenting, and a more realistic way to adapt some of her ideas.  I must admit to speed-reading the last third.  Which isn't to say that I disagree, just that it's probably better as a blog, in smaller doses.

I started reading some bits aloud to the kids, having already explained what I was reading, dramatizing the reflections earnestly.  The kids got to giggling as I stared at them and beseeched them.  We created a "silly staring tuck-in" and I pretended to hold them and swear I'd never leave them and that I loved them and that I wouldn't do anything but stare at them, exaggerating Stafford's precepts.  Then I told them about bedtime when they were younger and all the songs we used to sing.  We did it over and over until they begged me to do it at bedtime.

And that I did, to their delight.

All of which is exactly Stafford's point.