Not Harry Potter's OWL

Our kids began OWL classes.

No, much to their disappointment, this was not Hogwarts's Ordinary Wizarding Levels.  Instead, it was the Unitarian Universalist Association's Our Whole Lives curriculum on sexuality, identity, and health for elementary school kids, including tools on coping with the expression of these in popular culture.  (It's not the mysterious film we watched in segregated groups in 5th grade that was nothing more than a Kotex ad.)  Mama and I were thrilled this was a topic that the UUA addressed and knew the kids would be taking it before they were even born.  Our first congregation hadn't offered it in years, just one of the reasons we switched.

And so Sunday morning, before church, found them sitting in the OWL class.

No, I don't know how it went.  "What happens in OWL, stays in OWL."  They can tell me what they learned but not what other kids asked.  The two teachers--especially trained by the UUA, a man and a woman--had given us parents a detailed handout about the different sessions (on such topics as puberty, sexual orientation, "lovemaking," health and safety, decision-making), complete with vocabulary list so we all used the proper terms.

Of course, hearing that many of their peers and classmates hadn't discussed sex or the like with their folks (and these are UUs!  I expected it of my Catholic friends, who have begged me to tell my kids not to say a word to theirs, to preserve their "innocence."), we wondered if we had said too much too soon.  Being a non-traditional family that created their children in a less-than-natural way, however, the topic arose pretty early.  They asked; we told. In fact, they both read the main book of the course, It's Perfectly Normal, last year.  (I highly recommend it; that, and the American Girl one, The Care and Keeping of You 1 & 2.)    Now, as fully informed as any fourth graders, they just roll their eyes at me when the topic arises.

Most of the time.

"Mom," Sis asked on Friday, "why do all the songs on the radio talk about sex?"

Um . . . because it's geared to (and often performed by) hormonal teenagers who are exploring their bodies, identities, and relationships and/or adults nostalgic for (or stuck in) that phase??  Sis thought the song "Animals" must be about fluffy bunnies or something--not people smelling and preying upon and "eating" (I kid you not) each other--because she couldn't understand the lyrics.*

OWL came just in time.

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*excerpt from "Animals" by Maroon V

Baby, I'm preying on you tonight
Hunt you down eat you alive
Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals

Maybe you think that you can hide
I can smell your scent from miles
Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals

Sex, VD, and Porn*

Or, the topics of three conversations I've had with the kids in three days!

That's the blessing and curse of being an ask-me-anything parent.

First it was the mating penguins at the aquarium.  Then it was a t-shirt in Boston that said, "I got crabs in Boston."  Finally, it was an unfortunate internet search.

At least, since we've been having such conversations for years (and here and here and see "THE TALK" below), so a.)  I almost never blink anymore before launching into the information, managing (almost) to keep it age-appropriate and not talk too much, and b.) they don't flinch at hearing whatever and soon grow rather disinterested.

Besides, we've realized that whatever they ask, it's just better to answer--they'll find out one way or another and we'd rather give them correct information and our family values upfront.

Which included, this time, always wear protection!

(*Can you imagine the hits I'm going to get with that title?!?)

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THE TALK

I can't believe I never blogged this--maybe because it happened the day before we left for Disney World last year.  I did put it on FB though, and here's what I said:

OMG, I just had THE talk with the kiddos, over lunch, completely inadvertently (you know how I talk and get on tangents--but they asked directly and there was nowhere to go but through it!). I'm not sure I can look at fries and onion rings the same again--and I didn't even use them as props. (No worries, classmates' parents, I told them not to share their new knowledge. And they're pretty good about that.) Though, in truth, I'd rather have this talk than the Santa Claus one.

Continued in comments . . . .

 I guess time will tell how it went. It's promising, though, for now: Bud said "ewh!" Otherwise, I did probably talk too much, as I often do--just after the talk, when they asked about the athlete Pistorius on tv, I ended up talking about apartheid and violence in South Africa! But how it started: we were talking about our "mom" calendar and how it excluded 2-dad families, then we moved on to birth dads, and thus birth. And they asked directly how women get pregnant, both in our case (easy--doctor's office!) and usually. So I launched into the explanation--sex, egg, semen, sperm, vagina, penis. They very pointedly wanted to know how the sperm got to the egg (previously, when discussing this, we'd mentioned "ingredients" coming together generally to make a baby--like cooking! Easier. But kinda silly.) I also made some references to safe touches (via the program at school), safe sex and disease, menstruation (they do have 2 moms, after all), and even pleasure--but only for loving and consenting ADULTS!  I told them we'd be talking about this again and again as they got older as it was important, that they could ask us or their uncle anything, and had a right to privacy and to talk about it alone without their twin around. They had no more questions and ran off to play "Phantom of the Opera." Whew. Truthfully, it was easier than talking about cancer or Newtown.