Of Shells and Sea Glass

My Texas readers will shudder to know that, on a morning that saw the mercury bottom out around 26F, I went to the beach with a friend.  Sure, we had coats, but it wasn't windy so we didn't need hats or gloves, which is just as well, because we communicate in ASL and I feel more clumsy in gloves.


We first had a nice breakfast at a local diner with a great view and then walked around the area talking about the devastation caused in the area by Hurricane Sandy, life on the coast, the cost of beach houses, health, kids, families, Thanksgiving, who she knew in which houses, various businesses nearby, the usual stuff.  She has lived here much longer than I have and so knows more of the local spots.

We ended up strolling on the beach and I told her how we'd found sea glass on Block Island and she started to pick up pieces.  Without really trying, she found 20+ pieces, including some pretty aquamarine.  I found the blue on my own, which was exciting, and one of the aquamarine (which look like white in the photo.)  The whites, greens, and browns were everywhere.  She says she has a huge jar of them, including purple and red, which are rare.  I have only recently become aware of sea glass but am quite enthusiastic . . . even if, in reality, it is garbage that has washed ashore, proof of our damage to the planet.  In fact, I thought that was why they are sometimes called "mermaid's tears," but my friend sent me a link that said that the story went that mermaid's cried a tear for every sailor lost at sea.

We walked for an hour or more, talking about various marine life she had seen, marveling at whelks, crabs, coral, and teensy shells that Sis loved when I brought them home.  We vowed to do it again soon, on this beach and others, plus other spots around town.  We might even seek out the Snowy Owl together.

But, by the time it gets here from the Arctic, though, I don't think we'll enjoy walking the beach looking for sea glass as much.

ASL Awakenings

Saturday evening found us leaving the kids at home with a babysitter, picking up my friend Miss D, who is deaf, and heading into the city to see a Broadway show.  Our destination:  Marlee Matlin, Camryn Manheim, and Spring Awakening.  One-time Tony-award-winning best musical starring a pre-"Glee" Lea Michele, the show has been revived by Deaf West with both deaf and hearing actors.

And it is AMAZING!  (Insert my doing the ASL sign for "amazing" here.)

It was touch and go for awhile.  Roads were closed all throughout midtown and cops were everywhere, even though the pope had left Saturday morning.  But, the UN has its General Assembly now and they must all be staying at the Waldorf!  Then there was a street festival up and down 6th.  Took more than 2 hours to get to the parking lot, what should barely have taken 1 1/2.  But Mama and I pad time schedules and we still had enough time to have a delightful dinner at Sapporo, on 49th, the kids' favorite.  Katsu, curry, miso soup, Japanese potato salad.  We knew better to have soupy Ramen before a Broadway show.  Especially because there are never enough restrooms.

We got to the theater with plenty of time to spare and were swarmed by drama students from a local program--one of their alumni was in the show.  But, as far as we could tell, there were no other Deaf people in the audience.  My friend, who uses ASL as well as read lips and talks, definitely kept her eyes peeled.  She did know someone:  she had gone to camp in elementary school with one of the Deaf cast members!  Small world.

Mama got us great seats, front row mezzanine on the aisle, so we had a totally unobstructed view.  I had really looked forward to the production; we had loved Deaf West's production of Big River more than a decade ago and I still can sign to some of the songs.  As soon as they announced they were coming east again, I wanted to go (they regularly do shows in LA, but don't often come to NYC.)  And then Oscar-winning Marlee Matlin joined the cast.  Sis and I watch her in "Switched at Birth" every week and I have enjoyed her in other shows ("West Wing," "L Word," and of course Children of a Lesser God.)  I knew other actors, too--Daniel Durant from "Switched at Birth" and Ali Stroker from "Glee Project" (and the first person in a wheelchair to be on Broadway!)  And then Camryn Manheim, who is fluent in ASL, joined the show.   My friend, who had never seen a Broadway show, was similarly excited to go, so we began making all the arrangements.

What a wonderful evening!  I hadn't seen Spring Awakening before.  As Mama summarized it,  the story is about "horny 19th-century German teenagers who have trouble communicating with their parents, make some mistakes, and suffer permanently for them."  Sex, abortion, suicide, molestation, child abuse, S&M, gays, prostitutes.  It's not a show for little kids.  The music is modern, though, very rock.  In fact, you might say, it was Rent for Millennials, in the same vein as Once:  the musical embraced by a generation feeling marginalized.  I'm not of this young generation and so I could both understand the teenagers and their parents.  That miscommunication was the major theme of the show  with dual communication systems being its central device strengthened the power of both.

The show is beautiful, powerful, mesmerizing.  Some characters were played by Deaf performers, some by hearing.  Some characters--like Wendla and Melchior--have one of each, the Deaf character and his or her Voice (Mama recognized the parallels of the costumes of the pairs.)  The use of doubles was more subtle than in Big River, especially the way the Voice almost seemed to be the inner voice talking to the character sometimes, instead of two separate people standing side by side. All the actors signed, both Deaf and hearing.  In fact, as my friend noted, the only way you could sometimes tell was that only the hearing actors were wired with head mics.  I loved seeing Marlee Matlin in person, even though her role was smaller.  Even I could tell that her signing (aka acting) as Frau Gabor was totally different from her role as Melody on "Switched"--tighter, more precise, closer to her body, while Melody signs more fluidly, with more pauses for connection with her listener.  And Camryn Manheim was fabulous!  I loved her signing and her acting and even her purple costume.

Visually, it was very striking--light changes and pulses (and these weird electric-point glow-in-the-dark gloves) and color switches and full blackout (which was shocking the few times it was employed) to match the beat of the music, which had a lot of bass for the Deaf actors and audience to sense; clever use of projection of subtitles so that some things weren't voiced (the rare power of the absolutely silent Broadway stage); the clash of 19th century and modern in set and costume and music; creative staging with members of the company forming a tree that two lovers sat beside or sitting as chairs representing tombstones (not unlike Our Town); and, if you reflected at all on the history of what would be Germany in the decades after the story takes place in 1891, you could see the seeds of totalitarianism in the rigidity of the adults (and the single salute and goose-stepping of the kids.)  As the Times noted in its astounding review, the fact that one of the company was in a wheelchair was seamlessly incorporated.  I hadn't realized how symbolically colorless and drab it all was until the teens walked off into a beautiful forest at the end, leaving their parents behind.  I'm still mulling over the symbolism of their coming out in their very white undergarments, donning drab costumes for the show, and then relinquishing the drab at the end to leave into the color wearing white.   There was even incense!  I'm not sure I've ever been at a show with scent.  Or with the no-cell phone and camera warning being conveyed visually by men holding placards at the front of the various sections.

I was amazed at how much of the ASL I could understand--thanks to my friend who started as my ASL teacher--though, I was also absorbing meaning through hearing the lyrics. I think I got more out of it with the signing and wouldn't have caught all the words otherwise.  The signing was very choreographed, creative, and dramatic.  Romantic performance of signs on each other's bodies; synchronized signing across the company; a seamless connection of signing and full-body movement; even some inside ASL jokes, only 1 of which I caught--the use of the sign "vagina" becoming "heart" when Wendla's mother can't bring herself to explain where babies come from (there's also the intertwined "love" sign on the poster.)     Check out a video of the first song here.  We clapped and signed applause after nearly every song, as did the whole house.  There was a loud and long standing ovation at the end.  We loved it.

We couldn't stage door, though.  All those college students were waiting to see their alumnus; we couldn't even see the barricade to join in.  It's okay.  I would probably have been too shaky to sign to Marlee Matlin et al how much I enjoyed the show.  So we stopped for Junior's cheesecake instead and  made it home by 1 a.m.

I can't shake the happy vibes the evening gave me (even though it's kind of a downer of a show, even with the last upbeat song), especially the joy of my friend at her first Broadway show, especially one in her language.  It was all unforgettable.

Kidbits etc.

Today was the first day of Fairy House season 2015!  The kids were up and at 'em by 8:30 this morning.  What is it with not sleeping in during vacation??  Anyway, it's the second or third day in a row that they've spent significant time outside--swinging, running across the rock wall, playing with a homemade bow and arrow (Sis), swordfighting, biking, and now building fairy houses.  Gommie was outside, too, but didn't build one.  Pretty soon--once the ground temp stays at 50F, which isn't quite yet--Sis will plant some bulbs that my friend Miss D, also our ASL teacher, gave me as a gift for my recovery.

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Another gardening thing:  I learned a new flower.  This is a Glory of the Snow, according to my FB friends.  Ours have appeared randomly in a few parts of the yard, not planted or planned by us at all.  Very pretty.

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A big THANK YOU to Granny Q who sent a lovely Edible Arrangement to the house on Friday.  That was so sweet of you.  And we really enjoyed it--ALL of us, as you can see in the picture of Albus eating the ribbon--it was gone by the end of the day!

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Gommie and I watched "Wolf Hall" episode 2 today, enjoying the characterizations and especially the lovely period details.  Of course, we know how it all progresses (having seen "The Tudors," A Man For All Seasons, Anne of a Thousand Days, etc.), but I'm absolutely caught up in it all.  Really fantastic television.

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Which reminds me that a year ago, we were in England having the trip of a lifetime.  I think of that trip pretty much everyday, in some way or another.  Thank you, Lambeth and Mrs. Lambeth, for hosting us to the most wonderful of visits.  I'm trying heartily not to be too down that we won't be returning this December, instead recalling all the great times we had.

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Today was rather an "eh" day.  Achy, tired, tight.  Not terrible just not great, kind of like last Wednesday (but not quite as much.)  So, if I have a mediocre day every five days or so, I'd say I'm doing pretty well.

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This morning, Miss D, my friend and ASL teacher came for a visit.  Not a lesson, just a chat.  We had a great time talking about our kids, contact lenses, Zentangling, our visit to the British shoppe yesterday, baking, even teaching Gommie how to sign "good morning" (which she kept doing with more of those f**k you gestures, accidentally, making us all laugh.)  She asked me if I had ever talked with a deaf person before her and I mentioned the deaf camp counselor I knew as a teenager 30 years ago.  She was shocked then at my skills when she met me last year and said my signing was amazing, essentially for someone who hadn't signed much at all.  Wow.  That felt SO wonderful.  Sometimes I feel so bumbling--trip up my fingerspelling, confuse signs with one another, can't always follow what she says--but, in total, I'm actually doing really well.  I can't say how happy that makes me.  And how happy I am to have made a new friend.

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As you know, Sis and I like to watch "Switched at Birth" together, the story of the two teenage girls, one who is deaf, who are switched and whose families come together when they discover it 15 or so years later.  We watch it for the ASL (and Marlee Matlin!), though there are definitely bits that are too old for her.  With Gommie, we also started watching "Little House on the Prairie," beginning with the two-hour pilot movie.  It's been so long since I've watched that show . . . and in many ways, it's so dated--the pacing is very slow, the drama more low key than dramas these days, even some of the 1970s hair peeking through.  But I love the history, period details, and wholesome moral tales; and I'm much more interested in what Ma is up to in the show than I ever was before.  Sis, who has read all the books (except Farmer Boy--me neither!) countless times, is enjoying it, too, even if it's not exactly like the books.

And now I've found a show to watch with Bud:  BBC's "Merlin," which I'd watched a few years back.  It's definitely a family tale, with sympathetic teenage Merlin (or maybe early 20s??) finding his path, a monster/crisis of the week, and all those wonderful faux fantasy medieval trappings.  Bud seems to really enjoy it and I like watching it with him.  Plus, he likes identifying all those British actors who were also in "Doctor Who!"

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The basement boys aka NYCats are becoming more bold.  Mojito has been "knocking" to be let out of the basement in the late afternoon almost everyday for a few months.  He even slept on the couch with Mama for a couple of hours yesterday!  But now Mr. Big Tabby is also coming up, ostensibly to eat the upstairs cat food, but also to poke around.  It's very heartening to see the boys come up.  (And since we always quietly lock the Connecticats up, it's a stress-free visit.)  The time-share is starting to work out.

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Gommie leaves on Friday and the sad countdown has already begun, but she has some plans for the week to distract them.  We are so very grateful to her for her help and support these last two weeks.  While we could keep her here indefinitely, I'm gaining strength everyday, can be left alone without any trouble, and can do minor house things with the kids' help (like getting them out the door in the morning.)  It means the world that she's been here, though.

Flip Side

For a few years now, I've noticed that sometimes I can hear and understand everything someone says to me, and sometimes I can't.  I've been to two ENTs about it--one said it was my advancing age, another said it was a vacuum caused by my little nose, teeth, and little ears.  Neither had any real suggestions.  And even with two hearing tests, neither said my hearing was anything but average.  Maybe not as good as it had been, but still regular.

Well, I finally did less than average on a hearing test!

Yay?

Average is to about 15 or so, and I'm closer to 25, if I understand the explanation correctly.

I went to a new ENT, recommended by a friend, last week.  He ran tests--audiology and x-ray.  And I have a bit of a hearing loss in each ear, more on the left, particularly in the high frequencies--all of which means I don't hear all consonants, especially if it's noisy or if the person's voice is higher.  It's not ear wax or build up, not sinuses or infections, not TMJ or jaw pain and inflammation.  Probably the very common sensorineural loss.

Yay?

And the only treatment is hearing aids.  Which can run expensive.  And aren't covered by insurance. So, they were asking me if it affected my life?  Well, several times a day I have to ask somebody to repeat something, usually Sis, who gets tired of it and says, "Never mind."  So yeah, it affects me.

Still, we're checking into some things.  Trying a nasal spray just in case it helps, though he didn't see fluid or pressure (my ear drum functions normally.)  And I'm practicing trying to always look right at people to hear them better.

But in the end, it'll probably be hearing aids.
Sis said, it's a good thing I'm taking sign language.

Ouch.

But I guess at least I heard her.

My Signing Time

I finished my first series of ASL classes; in fact, because I knew so many words already, we finished the whole book, Learning American Sign Language.   I'm taking a second series, this time using the phrase book, American Sign Language Phrase Book.  I love it!  And I'm getting much better.  The kids are picking up a few things; Mama knows a few more.  It comes in handy in public or across rooms or, as we've found, at the ice skating rink where the kids can't hear us through the plexiglass.

When they were little, we used "eat" and "more" and the kids knew all the animals and colors.  Now, we tend to use more (grown up) words, so these the ones I'm working on with the kids (you can look up a lot of these at ASLU, which my teacher recommended):

• hungry, eat, dinner, breakfast, lunch
• restroom
• yes, no, maybe
• help
• later, now
• change
• take, give
• ready
• hurry
• keep
• careful
• stupid
• weird
• funny, fun
• easy
• want
• need, should
• again
• like, don't like
• forget, remember
• more
• make
• fine
• finished
• stop
• always, never
• same, too, different
• understand
• think, know
• talk, say
• happy, sad, mad/grumpy
• hot, cold
• tired
• please
• sorry
• go, come
• start, begin
• cancel
• interested
• who, what, when, where, why, how, how much
• what happened?
• sick, pain
• better
• good, bad
• wrong
• love
• impossible
• bring
• watch, look, see
• worry
• embarrass
• wonderful
• sure, real
• miss
• all, nothing
• here

I'm better at signing than at understanding signs, so my teacher recommended that I watch "Switched at Birth," the ABC family show about a two teenage girls, one who is deaf, who discover they were, you guessed it, switched.  It's actually pretty good--and I love that Marlee Matlin is in it, too.  

So, while the kids are at camp this week, I'm cramming.  And binging on the show.

My Inner Marlee Matlin?

My ASL class is going really well.  I enjoy the one-on-one format so that I can go at my own speed.  We do a few units each class, from Learning American Sign Language, covering about 75 new words.  Because of my childhood knowledge of signed English, I usually know at least half of the words or more, with some minor changes (ASL is a living language and changes often.)  So we're going pretty fast.  Though I do have the tendency to reverse hands or directions (can I blame that on cross-eye dominance?)  I'm better at signing than reading my teacher's signs and so she suggested I watch videos on ASLU. 

More entertaining is Marlee Matlin in "The L Word."

My New Tricks

You've heard the saying about old dogs.

Well, I'm learning some new tricks.  This morning, I started my one-on-one ASL (American Sign Language) classes this morning.  I think I've mentioned that my beloved Aunt Sis had taught me signed English when I was younger, which is more of a signed version of English than a language in its own right, like ASL, though there are huge overlaps and users of one understand the other.  I had several sign language dictionaries and a few nursery rhyme books to practice with and then Aunt Sis and I would sign together.  One year, she even took me to a conference where I met and got the autograph of Miss Deaf Texas (I asked her all by myself, letter by letter.)  When I was a counselor at a camp for special needs kids, I used some signs with different campers, just as decades later, I would sign with Sis and Bud. 

I have taken ASL once before, a decade ago, with an interpreter in NYC; loved that class, too, but logistics with work and living in CT were too much.  So now I'm trying again, with the first lesson this morning.  And it went swimmingly.  We went through ABCs, numbers (I'm awful at numbers), general politeness words, and some questions.  I remembered some, not others, and did yet others in my signed English, needing minor changes.  Still, she was full of praise and I was pleased as punch that I remember so much.  It's the only language I'm good at!  I'm convinced that's because it's the one I learned before I was 7 or 8.

My second new trick:  I'm taking an archery course, namely to become an archery facilitator for the Girl Scouts.  Archery was my favorite unit in high school P.E. and we have been trying our hand at Archery Tag, which has foam tips.  I'm hoping I can earn my archery certification so I can teach our troop, now old enough to take archery.

Between the two, it's like my own personal adult summer camp!