Changes

The beginning of school was long my new year beginning, not January.  When I was not in school, I still always liked the beginning of fall and feeling rejuvenated by the change in temperatures.  We're back to the new year being in September, with kids in the house.  And this year has seen many changes.

First, neither Bud nor I am taking piano anymore; he, because he lost interest, and me, because I couldn't justify the expense anymore.

Sis has also dropped speedskating.  Her foot is still a bit tender from when a 1000 lb horse stepped on it!  And I think she realized that she didn't like competing, which was the main point.

Mama has started playing the ukelele, a present from me on our 21st anniversary.  She's been strumming along to "I Lava You" from the Pixar short.  It's sweet--and she's gotten good fast.  She's dabbled at playing piano, guitar, and violin over the years, but this one has stuck.

And . . . and I've saved the biggest for last:  we bought a horse!  It's a convoluted story.  There was conflict and disruption at the barn, as the current owner was trying to retire and sell the place and it fell through with much acrimony.  As part of the proceedings, the prospective buyer bought several horses, including Sis's favorite horse, Patience.  And then, as the deal fell through, the new owner of the horses was going to take away Patience.  With all the chaos, and with the sadness of Murphy's departure so fresh, we bought the horse.  We worried that it sends the wrong message--that you can buy your way out of pain.  But we think it will be outweighed by all the hard work, discipline, sacrifice, persistence, etc.  Hopefully. 

We are boarding the horse--Patience, an 8-year-old chestnut mare (Quarterhorse, apparently), who is so named because she stands very still and patient in the aisle while being groomed and bridled--at the farm where Sis has been riding these last years.  They will care for the horse Monday through Saturday, with three meals a day, one blanket change, turn out, stall cleaning.  And on Sundays, we will do most of that.  But horses have to be ridden, so Sis will be there several days a week to ride her.  One of Sis's friends at the barn will be leasing her (and paying us) and so will ride her as well; she comes from a horsey family and will also help us.  Because Mama and I know nothing.  Sis knows a lot, but owning is different than leasing and it's a large learning curve.  We all went to visit Patience on Sunday and there was some concern that she might be a tad constipated--which can be very fatal in horses, quickly--but soon enough she wasn't.  I've never been so happy to see a pile of poo in my life!! 

Otherwise, Sis taught us all how to brush her--with three different brushes (curry brush, hard brush, and finishing brush)--and then took her for a walk.  Sis also washed her, tended her hooves, and picked the stall.  She's a very gentle, beautiful horse.  The farm owner said it would be the easiest horse purchase we'd ever make!  (Oh, goodness--the implications in that sentence!!)  Bud was a little apprehensive--horses are huge, even if Patience is barely a horse side-wise just a bit of a hand over a pony--but he'll settle in.  And Mama loves Patience.  She was talking to her and has been researching horses.  She'll even ride.  I'm not sure I will, but I like being around Patience nonetheless.

So that was this week's up-side.  The down-side was that I went to the ER on Monday night with severe abdominal pain yet again.  This time they didn't expect GI issues, but gynecological.  Perhaps a cyst or endometriosis.  It hurt like hell--almost like a partial obstruction--but no evidence of such; the ultrasounds didn't turn up anything.  I have a colonoscopy this week.  I think it's scar tissue from the four abdominal surgeries I've had; I can feel the baseball-sized tissue behind my belly button, but it isn't anything but scarring they've all told me (which if we remove would just, Catch-22, make more, apparently.)  We'll see.  I feel much better now, relieved it wasn't anything else.  But I would like more answers. 

All in all, it's a new beginning all around here.  I love fall.

Again

I'm still wrapping my head around it, but I spent the weekend in a hospital in NJ with severe but unexplained abdominal pain, similar to but not the same as the week before.  I'm just now home and following up with my doctors.  The diagnoses is uncertain, running the gamut from partial small bowel obstruction, appendicitis, diverticulitis, peritoneal inflammation to gastroenteritis, colitis, Crohn's, and inflammatory bowel disease.  We'll see where we go from here.  Taking it easy.  Eating rice and toast.  But at least we're back in Connecticut and altogether. 

We couldn't have managed without my in-laws, Ma and Gong, and Uncle Goo, who stepped up amazingly to handle the kung fu tournament and taking the kids home when I was still in the hospital in NJ, with Mama by my side the whole time. 

I'll have some deeper, reflective thoughts on the whole experience later--on the nature of love, navigating American healthcare, furthering my call to chaplaincy, illness and the self--but first I think I want another nap.

Patient Again

Yep, I'm a patient again.

Let me start with the end:  I'm doing okay.  I'm home, no surgery, on limited activity and liquid diet for awhile.  I even got an extension on my CPE hours so I'm not even too stressful about that.

Back to the beginning.  We went to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Parts I and II this weekend.  When I stood up at the end of Part I, I had a sharp abdominal pain around my belly button.  I was nauseous and crampy, but it subsided after a bit.  I thought it might be the delicious Korean we had for lunch, but I never started vomiting; and it didn't feel like food poisoning.  I felt well enough to go to part II (which was wonderful, more on that later) and just took it easy.  I felt better when I sat, wore my brace, and didn't walk.  But I didn't have much appetite.

I taught RE--our last class--on Sunday morning and even ate some on Sunday with no problems.  And I went to hospice on Monday.  I was still tender and crampy but not like my obstruction three years ago.  Monday evening, while cooking dinner for the kids, I bumped the oven handle with my belly and it almost sent me to my knees.  This wasn't normal.  I couldn't get my GP on the phone (she's checking why the answering service didn't pick up) and so we opted for the urgent care.  But instead of ruling anything else, the doctor there said to go straight to the ER; it was probably a hernia or an obstruction.  I did not want to do this again.

I'm not going to revamp the ER visit--I had fluids, morphine, and a cat scan and a surgical resident who had absolutely no clue--and came away with no answers beyond that it wasn't a surgical problem.  This was good.  Not a hernia or an obstruction.  But no other answers.  We were there til 5 a.m., almost ten hours.  So I slept all day Tuesday.

And today I went to my doctor, whom I really like and respect.  Based on the hospital reports and her own examination, she believes I have a partial small bowel obstruction with an inflamed peritoneal lining, caused by all the scar tissue I have from abdominal surgeries.  I'm on bowel rest, which means mostly clear liquids, and limited activity so as not to inflame the peritoneal lining more, all while watching for fever, chills, nausea, vomiting, increased pain, redness. 

I'm glad not to have surgery.  I knew another obstruction was possible, even probable, with all my scar tissue.  I feel better than I did earlier.  I'll be okay. 

Release!

I saw my wonderful surgeon today and am done!  My granuloma is gone; there's no more drainage.  I will always be at higher risk for a small bowel obstruction just because I've had abdominal surgery; same with abdominal incision hernias.  So, I'm supposed to take continuous nausea, vomiting, pain, and particularly the lack of bowel movements or gas very seriously.  I'm also not supposed to lift anything more than 15-20 lbs, namely anything that would cause strain, which would cause an incision hernia (along where I have a diastasis recti and two hernias already.)  Still, otherwise, I am good to go.  And I can bathe and swim!  I've decreased my painkillers, down to just Tylenol with Codeine.  And I go see my physiatrist (pain doctor) tomorrow about PT to start to strengthen my core.  She said I could call her if I had questions or any of the above.

And I presented her with a pretty purple-y "Sunset Stripes" large Granny Square afghan, as a thank you for all of her care.  She was impressed that I had made it and grateful.  We talked a little about my plans, even hospice chaplaincy, and she was kind to say she thought I'd be good at it.

So an experience that started on a very low note in an emergency room eight weeks ago, in many ways officially ended today on a high note.  Sure, the healing isn't over, but it's a new phase.  And at least today (bored as I am most days, and still limited in many things), I'm optimistic.

Kidbits etc.

Today was the first day of Fairy House season 2015!  The kids were up and at 'em by 8:30 this morning.  What is it with not sleeping in during vacation??  Anyway, it's the second or third day in a row that they've spent significant time outside--swinging, running across the rock wall, playing with a homemade bow and arrow (Sis), swordfighting, biking, and now building fairy houses.  Gommie was outside, too, but didn't build one.  Pretty soon--once the ground temp stays at 50F, which isn't quite yet--Sis will plant some bulbs that my friend Miss D, also our ASL teacher, gave me as a gift for my recovery.

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Another gardening thing:  I learned a new flower.  This is a Glory of the Snow, according to my FB friends.  Ours have appeared randomly in a few parts of the yard, not planted or planned by us at all.  Very pretty.

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A big THANK YOU to Granny Q who sent a lovely Edible Arrangement to the house on Friday.  That was so sweet of you.  And we really enjoyed it--ALL of us, as you can see in the picture of Albus eating the ribbon--it was gone by the end of the day!

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Gommie and I watched "Wolf Hall" episode 2 today, enjoying the characterizations and especially the lovely period details.  Of course, we know how it all progresses (having seen "The Tudors," A Man For All Seasons, Anne of a Thousand Days, etc.), but I'm absolutely caught up in it all.  Really fantastic television.

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Which reminds me that a year ago, we were in England having the trip of a lifetime.  I think of that trip pretty much everyday, in some way or another.  Thank you, Lambeth and Mrs. Lambeth, for hosting us to the most wonderful of visits.  I'm trying heartily not to be too down that we won't be returning this December, instead recalling all the great times we had.

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Today was rather an "eh" day.  Achy, tired, tight.  Not terrible just not great, kind of like last Wednesday (but not quite as much.)  So, if I have a mediocre day every five days or so, I'd say I'm doing pretty well.

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This morning, Miss D, my friend and ASL teacher came for a visit.  Not a lesson, just a chat.  We had a great time talking about our kids, contact lenses, Zentangling, our visit to the British shoppe yesterday, baking, even teaching Gommie how to sign "good morning" (which she kept doing with more of those f**k you gestures, accidentally, making us all laugh.)  She asked me if I had ever talked with a deaf person before her and I mentioned the deaf camp counselor I knew as a teenager 30 years ago.  She was shocked then at my skills when she met me last year and said my signing was amazing, essentially for someone who hadn't signed much at all.  Wow.  That felt SO wonderful.  Sometimes I feel so bumbling--trip up my fingerspelling, confuse signs with one another, can't always follow what she says--but, in total, I'm actually doing really well.  I can't say how happy that makes me.  And how happy I am to have made a new friend.

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As you know, Sis and I like to watch "Switched at Birth" together, the story of the two teenage girls, one who is deaf, who are switched and whose families come together when they discover it 15 or so years later.  We watch it for the ASL (and Marlee Matlin!), though there are definitely bits that are too old for her.  With Gommie, we also started watching "Little House on the Prairie," beginning with the two-hour pilot movie.  It's been so long since I've watched that show . . . and in many ways, it's so dated--the pacing is very slow, the drama more low key than dramas these days, even some of the 1970s hair peeking through.  But I love the history, period details, and wholesome moral tales; and I'm much more interested in what Ma is up to in the show than I ever was before.  Sis, who has read all the books (except Farmer Boy--me neither!) countless times, is enjoying it, too, even if it's not exactly like the books.

And now I've found a show to watch with Bud:  BBC's "Merlin," which I'd watched a few years back.  It's definitely a family tale, with sympathetic teenage Merlin (or maybe early 20s??) finding his path, a monster/crisis of the week, and all those wonderful faux fantasy medieval trappings.  Bud seems to really enjoy it and I like watching it with him.  Plus, he likes identifying all those British actors who were also in "Doctor Who!"

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The basement boys aka NYCats are becoming more bold.  Mojito has been "knocking" to be let out of the basement in the late afternoon almost everyday for a few months.  He even slept on the couch with Mama for a couple of hours yesterday!  But now Mr. Big Tabby is also coming up, ostensibly to eat the upstairs cat food, but also to poke around.  It's very heartening to see the boys come up.  (And since we always quietly lock the Connecticats up, it's a stress-free visit.)  The time-share is starting to work out.

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Gommie leaves on Friday and the sad countdown has already begun, but she has some plans for the week to distract them.  We are so very grateful to her for her help and support these last two weeks.  While we could keep her here indefinitely, I'm gaining strength everyday, can be left alone without any trouble, and can do minor house things with the kids' help (like getting them out the door in the morning.)  It means the world that she's been here, though.

My First Outing

I went out on my first non-medical outing today!!  I had thought it up on Friday and looked forward to it for two days.  So, not long after Gommie headed to the Mark Twain House and Harriet Beecher Stowe House in Hartford, we headed to the British Shoppe!

(Gommie enjoyed the houses and her time away!)

It's a pretty drive to the store, which is small and manageable.  I was only uncomfortable a few times, when we hit some of the seasonal potholes.  And then we shopped!  Jammie Dodgers, Jaffa cakes, cockles, kippers, and various crisps for N.  All sorts of soon-to-be-banned Cadbury chocolates for Sis.  And then Mama and I got some Elderflower cordial, Garibaldis, milk chocolate digestives, and a couple of tea towels--Irish green with Celtic knots, in honor of Aunt Sis, who loved all things Celtic.  I hang my tea towels on my refrigerator, with two strong clip magnets, almost like a changeable fabric poster.
While we were pursuing the 50%-off giant Easter eggs in all flavors and themes (Iron Man, anyone?), Mama called in our lunch order to our nearby favorite German restaurant.  I wasn't going to be able to sit to eat for a whole restaurant meal, so we were taking it home:  sauerbraten, rouladen, schnitzel, spaetzle, red cabbage, German potato salad, green salad, potato pancakes, and our recent discovery Curry Wurst (think little hot dog rounds in a curried tomato gravy not unlike Heinz baked beans; apparently, they're really big in Berlin, I think it was.)  Because it's starchy and stewy, it lasts just fine in the car and was delicious and hot when we got home.

I was tired for a bit--I guess from all the bouncing on the potholes and just the strain of being out, even if it was mostly riding in the car--but managed a couple of afternoon walks and then a nap.  But the good it did me to get out of the house, see a change of scenery, have some totally different food, and even pick up a few treats to bring home was immeasurable.

I wonder where my outing next weekend will be?!!

I'm thinking something with a less-than-30-minute car ride and a bit more but not a ton of walking.

(The kids are going with Gommie on a few outings this spring break week, but I'll be home.)

All Good

Two check-ups today:  The surgeon says I'm doing just fine.  The infection is in the belly button, one of the dirtiest places, apparently.  But it's not a "bad" infection--superficial--and will go away, most likely, with antibiotic cream and regular washing in the shower.

Otherwise, she poked and prodded and is pleased.  No carrying more than a jug of milk or equivalent for 6 to 8 weeks.  No driving til I'm not on narcotics.  (Stepping down from the Percocet to Vicodin and then later to Tylenol with codeine.)  Just walking, no PT for months; stairs are good.  Regular food.  If I have nausea, vomiting, chills, fever at 101, or abdominal pain, I go to the ER, paging them on the way.  Only down note:  it is possible, in the future, that I'll have another hernia in that messed up belly button area, but for now it's stitched and healing.  I can handle a hernia--know what to look for, even before they are critical strangulated and incarcerated--and, well, I won't be pregnant!

So, that's encouraging.  I like our surgeon.  She can repair all my future hernias!

My second check up was with my therapist, the cognitive one.  The surgery and Aunt Sis's death were a big one-two punch, so it's good to sit with her and discuss fear, anxiety, sadness, even anger and frustration.  It's a lot of work--meditating, recognizing and naming feelings, speaking truth even when it's hard, maintaining perspective, letting go of control and the compulsion to fix everything--to stay grounded and mindful but it really makes all the difference.  I am so much better off--mentally/emotionally/spiritually stronger--than I was four and a half years ago with my back injury.

I'll spend the rest of the day resting from all the poking, physically and mentally.  Gommie and I are watching the Grey Gardens remake, eating chicken and eggplant parms from the Italian deli.

Something Besides Tea

I'm getting tired of drinking water and iced tea.  And so, last night, I perused my homemade soda books, from when Mama got the Soda Stream last year.  I found a few sodas, not super sugary, that I can make to vary things a bit.  I'm thinking of it as flavored seltzer.  And since it's homemade syrup, I can vary the strength.  Yum, not sure which one to make first, Dried Cherry Soda or Almond Honey Cream Soda.  And there's still my old London Fog soda.


Dried Cherry Soda
2 cups water
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup dried sweet cherries

In medium saucepan over medium heat, bring water, sugar, and cherries to a boil.  Remove from heat and steep for two hours.

Using a stick blender, fork, or potato masher, break up cherries til mixture is chunky (do not blend smooth.)  Strain, discard cherries, and let cool.  Store syrup for up to 14 days.

To serve:  fill class with ice.  Add 3 tablespoons syrup and a few dashes of citric acid or acid phosphate (I'm using lemon juice).  Top with seltzer and mix gently.

Anton Nocito, Make Your Own Soda


Almond Honey Cream Soda
Honey Milk
3/4 cup honey
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon almond extract

Combine the honey, milk, and extracts, stir until smooth.  This syrup will keep in fridge for 3 days.

To serve:  1/3 cup honey milk and 1 cup seltzer.  Pour syrup in glass and add seltzer.  Mix until just blended.

Andrew Schloss, Homemade Soda



London Fog on Ice

Makes 1 1/2 cups of syrup

1 vanilla bean, halved and split

1 cup sugar

3-4 bags of Earl Grey tea

1 cup water

Soda water

Half-and-half or whole milk

To make the simple syrup, combine the vanilla bean and sugar in a small saucepan. Rub the vanilla bean into the sugar with the back of a spoon until the mixture is fragrant. Add the tea bags and water. Cook over medium-low heat and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Turn up the heat to medium and bring the mixture to a gentle boil. Turn off the heat, and use tongs to remove the tea bags right away to avoid bitterness. Allow syrup to cool before using.
To make the soda, fill an 8-ounce glass with ice. Fill three-quarters full with soda water. Add 1/8 to 1/4 cup syrup, depending on desired sweetness. Top with half-and-half and more soda, if desired.

from NPR piece

Ups and Downs

It's been an okay few days.

Monday found me having that ultrasound.  Turns out, I have both a DVT in my calf and phlebitis in my thigh.  So, I'm staying on the Xarelto.  The clot is better, but I can still feel it.

We've had some more great meals from friends and Gommie also made Sis's favorite chicken, rice, and gravy one of those nights.

And I've had the first visits from friends.  My friend from the historic house stopped by very briefly--she's sick and didn't want to share--to give us some forsythia branches, which will bloom yellow soon.  And Mama Teacher came for lunch yesterday and a nice long chat.  She and I had surgery the same day, the same time (I was actually supposed to drive her to the hospital and be with her and help in the following days.  I'm still so sorry I couldn't be there for her.  She's helped us so much.)--hers was scheduled though!--so we could compare recoveries and such.  She looks great, though she's tired of hobbling around on crutches.  It was good to spend some time together.

Then last night, Sis had sign language class here at the house and so I got to talk to my friend, her teacher.  She had had shoulder surgery two months ago, so we could commiserate.  Signing was a work out for my core, that's for sure.  And I laughed too much, but it was a good visit.  And class for Sis.  Her husband picked her up afterwards and said I looked like I lost 20 lbs or more!  Which is not true.  I lost maybe 5, maybe, which hardly seems fair after no food and the removal of body parts!!!  And I imagine it will come right back with all the lack of exercise and bland, non-raw food. But what I do know and what everyone has commented on is that my stomach is flatter--I guess the bulgy knot/obstruction had been taking up space, at the top of my belly, and growing for awhile.  Even I can see the difference.  Kinda nasty.

My infection comes and goes.  The doctors don't seem that worried (I called to check in yesterday.)  I'm not even on antibiotics.  I see my surgeon tomorrow and only need to worry if I have nausea, vomiting, fever of 101, or abdominal pain, or a lot more drainage.  Ick.  Then I have to go straight to the ER.  I didn't feel great yesterday--probably as much mental as physical (I HATE thinking of the infection and my incision)--but I feel much better than that this morning . . . one day at a time.

What else?  On an up note, I did sit at the piano yesterday and play "Finlandia" my recital song twice through, the first time since my surgery.  Still don't know if I'll play at the recital in two weeks.

The kids have spring break next week and Gommie is planning some fun local getaways, which is perfect.  Don't want them staring at me, bored, all next week.

Okay, I think that's it.  All in all, good.  Happy Thursday, friends!

Home

I just woke up in my own bed!!  So good to be home.

Updates

Here we go, a short recitation of my life since last Wednesday, I'm using google voice recognition because there is still an IV needle Medlock in my right hand.

Wed:  the pain started around 2 though I hadn't felt well while grocery shopping at 130. but at some point I looked at my belly button and noticed the petechiae and bruising and realized that the sharp pains and nausea are not good. I called my doctor and Mama and we got to the ER around 3:45. I had probably six injections of morphine before the evening was over so bad was the abdominal pain and cramping. The doctors were concerned about the bruising around my belly button / hernia scar and so they were talking surgery.

Thur:  surgery was first thing in the morning I think, but only after the painful introduction of the nasogastric intestinal tube.  I don't want to talk about it. I don't remember most of the rest of the day I think the surgery took a few hours and I didn't learn until a few days later that they removed a 6 to 8 inch portion of my small intestine which had become wrapped up and even infiltrated by the mesh from my old hernia scar.  Apparently they were really worried.  They started the surgery laparoscopically but had to move to a full abdominal incision from my breast bone almost to my c-section scar. I'm told I still have my belly button but I have refused to look.  I am think there are dozens of staples.

Friday:  I think I slept most of the day Friday in a darkened room on lots of morphine and other things. All I remember is the Tube. Though at one time I also had the Foley, oxygen, and the two IVs.    I remember the ancient aliens guy with the fluffy hair. at some point I also watched dangerous weather shows and something about quicksand.  I know I was on some heavy morphine because I have weird memories of feeling like I was floating or flying between the puffing and deflating of the special bed mattress and the leg cuffs for clots.  I didn't feel like I had a regular body, the leg cuffs especially were like a special massage, the part of me that felt the very best. It was trippy.

My beloved Mama was with me the whole time, also juggling dear Babysitter and miss K and daughter babysitter who were lifesavers.  I got some beautiful red roses from Gommie and Pop which brighten the room and a sweet little purple vaze of flowers from

Saturday:  I got up to walk around the ward much more on Saturday and in doing so met both of the chaplain and the therapy dog which were really important encounters for me.  Chaplain I talked a little bit about her training and her experiences at the hospital and then we prayed for patience for me because by then the NG tube consumed most of my thoughts. It caused me to feel like I was choking, hindered any speaking, and in general hurt. Even medical professionals who talked to me felt bad about that tube.  Goo visited on his way to spend the day with the kids and relieve mama, which was very nice. He makes a good doctor and sympathetic friend. The kids loved having him to play with. I think this was the day there was snow my days are getting a little confused but it is snowing as I record this and I think it's lovely. I'm in the minority of one on this though. I think that was the night that Aunt Banana and I texted each other and she even ended up talking to my nurses; they found this very sweet and entertaining.  Aunt Banana, these experiences always give me a new appreciation for the amazing and challenging work that you do.  Thank you.

Sunday:  This was a banner day. The Tube came out!  Mama had come for a visit but was down getting lunch when they ripped the 60 millimeter tube out of my nose and throat and stomach. It was the best feeling ever to breathe and swallow and talk again hallelujah! Rejoice!  Swallowing that first sip of cold water was the best thing ever followed by cranberry juice and for dinner jello and putting in sherbert and broth.

But the very best part of Sunday was it the kids came for a visit after their trampoline birthday party with a friend. think they were nervous to come visit which is totally understandable so we sent them a picture of me smiling with the stuffed bunny they'd given me so I looked normal and of course we wouldn't have let them come if the tube had still been in place.  We spent two hours walking in the ward, eating my dinner, meeting my nurses, using the art supplies Mama gotten me-- mama is a hospital genius--hugging and chatting and cuddling and playing on the bed.  The perfect end to a good day.  They'll come back this Monday afternoon and everyday after school that I am not dismissed.  I'm guessing it'll be Tuesday at the earliest.  So I'm doing a ton of walking, drinking, and breathing exercises to be ready.

Some final notes: I am very aware of my privilege with regard to immediate quality emergency healthcare probably very well coveredby our generous insurance supplied by Mama's employer.  I am in the minority even in our rich land and this saddens me even as I benefit from it.

At the same time that I'm going through this, my dear friend, teacher had knee surgery and is at home recovering I was supposed to be her escort and mail provider during this and have not been able to but I hear she is recovering well.  Yay!!!  Also the daughter of a person of my acquaintance has been diagnosed with a heart issue and is in the hospital as well this weekend though not I think the one I'm in. I am grateful that it was me not my children who required emergency surgery last week and I pray for good recovery and prognosis for the little girl.

Lastly there are ever so many people to be thankful for today from the hospital staff doctors nurses and techs to those people closer to us who have helped take care of the kids and those who are surrounding us in love and organizing meals, with sending emails and Facebook updates, too many to mention.  I feel the blessing of their love and care and am grateful for our sacred community.

Emergency Surgery

This is Mama posting for Jamie.

Jamie had severe abdominal pain yesterday and had surgery this morning to clear an obstruction (likely related to the umbilical hernia when she was pregnant).

The doctors successfully cleared the obstruction and she is rest comfortably and will be in the hospital a day or so more.

Much Better

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, emails, and help.  After a rough day yesterday, due to reactions to the anesthesia and painkillers, Mama Hungry is feeling better this morning.  She is in good spirits, remarking that this was "surgery-lite" compared to this summer's probable one!  Her parents were wonderful, the kids were great, and I am stronger than I have been in two years.  So, as good as can be.  We should have the results in a week or so, with surgery, barring unforeseen results, at the end of July sometime.


But, so I don't forget, a few things I learned, very specific to us:


In the hospital:

• Take as little as possible to the hospital--who really reads in waiting rooms anyway?  I lugged around a book and two magazines and never took them out of the bag.  Though, oddly, there was not a magazine or paper to be found in the whole hospital!  This might change for a longer surgery or multiple-day stay.
• It takes longer than you think.  
• And the follow-up:  get used to not knowing.  They wouldn't give us any information until about 10 minutes before they were ready to discharge her--she woke up, ate, walked around, etc--before they told us.  Which is probably why it took so long.  Even though we had asked--politely and patiently--before that.  (When I had my two outpatient surgeries there, they let Mama in with me beforehand and she was there when I woke up.  Not sure why yesterday was different).
• Which leads to:  you're pretty helpless.  Relinquish illusions of control and you'll feel better.  This is my lesson right now in many things!
• Yep, hospital visits are very good exercises in mindfulness and the Four Noble Truths!
• Medications and anesthesia make Mama nauseous and dizzy--more anti-nauseals next time.

• For the patient:  socks, change of comfy clothes, lotion, lip balm, driver's license, insurance card, nothing but eyeglasses.
• For the waiting caregivers:  charged smartphone!, water, hand sanitizer,
• About the drive home:    validated parking pass, easy directions to pick up spot and then home for whomever is driving. patient in front seat, clear driveway so shortest walk to the house.

At home:

• I should have done more of the chores so I had less to do yesterday--run the dishwasher early and unloaded it, finished off the last load of laundry, etc--we had prepped the kids' morning routine beforehand but not the evening (or next morning) and so were stuck with chores to do, a nauseous patient, and exhaustion.  
• There is always a trip to the pharmacy.  Always.  Good time to get whatever the patient wants to eat or do.  Nice way for caregiver to take a break (at least for me).
• For the patient:  crackers, applesauce, rice, broth, toast (Sis made Mama's favorite, with butter and sugar!), gingerale (or Zinger Punch), remote controls and the phone (in a handy basket), clean clothes, various distractions (we had iPad games, new videos, a magazine, and pre-recorded tv), charged phone and computer, ice packs/heating pads as needed.
• For the caregiver:  a few easy meals already done (would paper plates be overkill??  Ma and Gong cooked last night but that was probably too much), iced coffee, and chocolate!  :)  
• Extra hands are always needed--we were very grateful for Ma and Gong.  Sis and Bud were also immensely helpful.

To Do Before Next Time:

• get a lamp for Mama's nightstand
• clean the house right beforehand (empty fridge for extra meals; empty litterbox for cats, who stayed in their room all day with people in and out; especially clear the bedroom; charge the toothbrushes!)
• big run to stores (grocery, pet store) for staples a day or so before
• pay bills early (because, while we didn't miss any, we were pretty distracted more than just the one day this week)
• and whatever we come up with in the coming days . . . . 

Any helpful hints from those of you who have been here before??