Sickbed Confessions

Inspired by How to Be Sick author Toni Bernhard's post, "Confessions of a Sick Person," I'm making a list of my own injury/chronic pain-related confessions.  Many of these were more relevant at the height (or depths?) of my injury, not as much now.

• It doesn't always hurt.  Yep, a lot of the time it does.  And that stinks.  But sometimes it doesn't hurt.  And the pain isn't always the deciding factor in whether I'm up and about or not.  Meditation, medication, motivation, mood all play a part.
• I like my bed better than almost anywhere.  It's a comfortable, handy place to be.  I've managed systems for working on the computer, eating, reading, watching tv, crocheting, almost anything you can think of.  And when the physical stresses of the day get to me, nothing is as calming and reassuring as being back in my bed.  Which is ironic, given that one of my major pain episodes occurred in the bed, waking me up in the middle of the night unexpectedly!
• I'm grateful for my injury in many ways because it has allowed me to explore new personal and spiritual paths that I don't think I would have found if I were still distracted by "normal" life.  I think it was a wake-up call, even a blessing.  As much as it has been a burden to me and my entire family, I'm not exactly sure I would go back and do it differently (well, I might actually take pain medication that second time!).  I think it has taught us all something.  Compassion, mindfulness, mortality, priorities, gratitude, appreciation, flexibility.
• I like not working for pay outside the home.  For now.  And injury/pain is a more socially-acceptable reason than stay-at-home mom.  No one argues with me about my unemployment or rolls their eyes anymore.  That I know of.
• I don't like how narcissistic I am sometimes, always thinking of how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, how I can or can't do things.  It's so easy to become self-absorbed in isolation.  Kids are a really good remedy for this.  
• Having an injury can be a great excuse for many things--baggy, comfortable clothes and a perpetually messy house and not living up to social/societal expectations.  I like that.
• I haven't  had a professional haircut or been to the dentist in two years.  Both have very uncomfortable chairs that you have to sit in for the whole thing.  Can't do it.  Even though I know I should.  (To make up for the dentist, I've become meticulous about flossing and mouthwash.)
• While I'm not glad for her own recent injury and illnesses, it has been nice to have Mama as a sickbed buddy at times.  Even though it was true before, I know she understand me better than anyone else could because she's been there.  On the reverse side, it's made me a better caregiver (sometimes!).  On the downside, she takes up half the bed AND wants a say in the tv shows!  But there's only a week left.