A Wing and a Prayer

You know how they say kids will ask the difficult questions in the car?

Sis got me today, "What does my classmate have?"

Her classmate who is in the hospital receiving chemotherapy for cancer. 

Thankfully, I had spent some of last night searching for books and discussion tips, Googling "books for children, classmate has cancer."  Many of the resources are actually for children with cancer, or children whose parents or siblings have cancer.  But I did come across some things*, which was good because Sis, and then Bud after her, hit upon them all.  I tried to answer them directly and then add to it.  

"What did he do to get this?"  Nothing.  He did absolutely nothing.  His cells just changed.  

And you can't catch it.  Not like the flu or a cold or the chicken pox.

"Will he lose his hair?"  Maybe.  Chemotherapy can make you feel awful and some people lose their hair.  

But even if he loses his hair, he'll still be the same kid who loves the things he always has.  And so you can treat him just like you used to.  Even if his looks surprise you at first.  

"Will he come back to school?"  Probably.  If he feels well enough.  He might be in and out of school for awhile.

He'd rather be at school than in the hospital, I'm sure.  It can be scary with all the doctors and needles and such.  But they are all doing their best to take good care of him so he can come back to school.  We are all sorry he has to go through this because we know it's going to be rough for him and his family for awhile.

"Will he die?"  

Words fail me.  

I don't know.  I hope not.  They're doing everything they can.  I can't quite say anything more. What else is there to say?  

But you can ask me anything, anything else and I'll try to answer it.  And if you feel helpless (we all feel helpless), you can meditate and pray.

Sis immediately proposes a bake sale--snickerdoodles and oatmeal raisin--to raise money for his treatment.  Later over dinner, Bud excuses himself to go ring our singing meditation bowls and to pray.

And I somehow managed not to cry.  

Yet.

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*A few helpful websites:

• A teacher's overview on her experience with a child in her kindergarten class with cancer.  
• A guide from a hospital in PA regarding children with cancer in the classroom
• Another guide on children with cancer returning to school
• A website on kids' health addresses kids with cancer

I also purchased some books, including Why, Charlie Brown, Why? A Story About What Happens When a Friend is Very Ill; What is Cancer Anyway? Explaining Cancer to Children of All Ages; and Imagine a Rainbow:  A Child's Guide for Soothing Pain.  For an elementary-school-aged bibliography, see Alex's Lemonade Stand and this document (can't get a link that doesn't automatically download; my apologies.)

I dearly hope we won't need Freddie the Leaf, The Purple Balloon, or Badger's Parting Gifts, on death and dying for children.