It's blazing hot for Connecticut right now, though Gommie thinks it's balmy--and still 10+ degrees below Houston.
They all went swimming yesterday in a neighbor's pool, floating and splashing around, with a giant swan float that they took turns riding. And tumping each other out. Meanwhile, I chatted with the neighbor over lemonade and watermelon she brought out--she's so nice.
After exhausting themselves with the exercise and heat, we went home . . . and Gommie made a pot roast! Not your usual summer meal, but the kids loved it. Potatoes, onions, bell peppers, with sides of yellow squash and cheesy banana peppers. The Cheesy Banana Peppers are my paternal grandmother's recipe, which Bud adored. I'm not even sure Mama got any when she got home late from work. Best yet, they had picked these particular (not pickled) peppers at the other neighbor's yard on Saturday. Maybe next year we can grow some ourselves (though, that neighbor's yard gets better light.)
It's hot again today and, so far, we're inside. First with piano lessons and maybe later with some more swimming. We'll just have to see.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Cheesy Banana Peppers
banana peppers, sliced in half lengthwise and seeded
Swiss cheese, sliced
Cheddar cheese, sliced or grated
Place sliced and seeded banana peppers in the bottom of a baking dish. Cover with cheeses. Bake at 350F until golden brown.
Grandmother Hungry
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Gommie's Weekend: Bunnies, Burgers, and Butterflies
It's been busy since Gommie arrived on Friday.
She actually got to the northeast on Thursday--during that crazy thunderstorm, which delayed her flight for hours--and went straight to see Fun Home on Broadway, which she loved. She stayed in the hotel that now occupies the building where I lived in graduate housing--it's much swankier now. And then came to see us Friday midday.
We actually picked her up on the way to the open house at Sis's animal camp, where she and her fellow campers were providing information on a variety of animals, mainly small and wild. Sis's group was in charge of the African pygmy hedgehog, named Biscuit, which could fit in her gloved hands. Cute, spikey, and blonder than I think of hedgehogs being, we learned that they can eat scorpions with no problems. Sis was particularly good with holding and caring for Biscuit, who seemed a bit concerned with the noise as the exhibition continued. She's the "hedgehog whisperer."
After we had visited the ferrets, chinchillas, red-footed tortoise, corn snake, guinea pig and such and after her duties were over, she took us to see her all-time favorite, the bunnies. (They weren't one of the animals the groups presented.) Her favorite was the gray one named Zoar (I liked the big one named Winston, I think, a Flemish big one or something; he reminded me of our cat Mr. P.) She had visited the bunnies and the otters, too, everyday on her way into camp. Mama would send me a morning photo of the animals, especially because I'm partial to otters. Sis loved this camp and asked if she could volunteer at the nature center--I know she'd love it. And I didn't even mention that they have horses and sheep!
We got Greek food on the way home. Saganaki (burning cheese!), patates (french fries), Bud's sauteed octupus, my tiganica chicken (lemon, onions, oregano), orzo, Sis's souvlaki, Mama's gyro, and Gommie's three dips (tzatziki, skardalia, and eggplant.) Plus rice pudding! We ate on it for two more days.
On Saturday, we had our usual ice skating and kung fu morning, followed by lunch at a burger joint. A kinda fancy burger joint with truffle oil fries, lobster macaroni and cheese, Wisconsin cheese curds (but not really), and even duck burgers! My burger had a fried egg, avocado, and kalamata mayo on a wedge of lettuce. Sis had a humongous shepherd's pie. And Gommie got a "flight" of burgers so she could have three different tastes. She also taught the waiter how to make a milk punch! Dessert was this pseudo-Ding Dong with flourless chocolate cake and a white chocolate mousse that was more like a cream-cheese filling. Sis got the pineapple upside-down cake. All pretty good. We recuperated by watching Brave together. Toward dinner time, we were invited to our neighbors to sample his latest brisket, which we all indulged in. Gommie also got to meet their chickens.
Today, we went to the aquarium, so Bud could show us where he'd been to Oceanography camp. We couldn't go out on the research vessel, but we could visit the touch tanks, sharks, sea turtles, jelly fish, otters, and, most importantly, the seal feeding that he'd wanted to see (though, we've seen that a dozen times over the years, but I'm not sure he really remembers.) He knows each seal by name. My favorite part this time was the butterfly exhibit. Colorful insects made the flower bushes shimmer; butterfly shadows danced on the floor. Several even landed on us--some on Gommie's hair, some on my bright skirt--we were told that some butterflies are attracted to white. The kids were kinda disappointed not to attract any, though one brushed against Bud a few times. I took lots of pictures and some even came out. The one of the Monarch is actually from outside the butterfly tent; he's just a local! I liked how the Blue Morpho-like ones seemed to flutter and dance in pairs. There was also a small purple, black, and white couple near the exit.
For lunch, we headed across the street for Southern food. Bud continued his seafood hat trick with PEI mussels in a saffron sauce--twice the manager commented on how amazing it is to see an adventurous kid. They almost never even look at a children's menu now. Sis had chicken fried bacon over hashbrowns with scrambled eggs, Gommie and Mama had a Low Country Eggs Benedict on grits, and I had shirred eggs and some biscuits. Plus a mini-skillet of peach cobbler and a very moist and delicious tiered lemon cake. We sure do know how to eat well. Like yesterday, we came home and rested to a Disney film, this time Tangled.
And both nights were capped with a visit to the legion of fireflies in the yard, dozens of them, in our yard and in surrounding yards. It's fun to see them at dusk because you can actually see the beetles flying between flares. Several times tonight, there be a group practically blinking in unison. Last night, we saw two bats (not coming out of our house!) There are some mosquitos, too, so we don't stay out long. Mama learned at the bird festival last week that there are actually as many barred and barn owls in CT as red-tailed and shouldered hawks, only you rarely see them because of the darkness and trees. Haven't seen an owl yet here. But we did see the mama raccoon cross the road by the stream.
And the week has only just begun . . . .
 |
| Zoar the bunny |
We actually picked her up on the way to the open house at Sis's animal camp, where she and her fellow campers were providing information on a variety of animals, mainly small and wild. Sis's group was in charge of the African pygmy hedgehog, named Biscuit, which could fit in her gloved hands. Cute, spikey, and blonder than I think of hedgehogs being, we learned that they can eat scorpions with no problems. Sis was particularly good with holding and caring for Biscuit, who seemed a bit concerned with the noise as the exhibition continued. She's the "hedgehog whisperer." 
After we had visited the ferrets, chinchillas, red-footed tortoise, corn snake, guinea pig and such and after her duties were over, she took us to see her all-time favorite, the bunnies. (They weren't one of the animals the groups presented.) Her favorite was the gray one named Zoar (I liked the big one named Winston, I think, a Flemish big one or something; he reminded me of our cat Mr. P.) She had visited the bunnies and the otters, too, everyday on her way into camp. Mama would send me a morning photo of the animals, especially because I'm partial to otters. Sis loved this camp and asked if she could volunteer at the nature center--I know she'd love it. And I didn't even mention that they have horses and sheep! We got Greek food on the way home. Saganaki (burning cheese!), patates (french fries), Bud's sauteed octupus, my tiganica chicken (lemon, onions, oregano), orzo, Sis's souvlaki, Mama's gyro, and Gommie's three dips (tzatziki, skardalia, and eggplant.) Plus rice pudding! We ate on it for two more days.
On Saturday, we had our usual ice skating and kung fu morning, followed by lunch at a burger joint. A kinda fancy burger joint with truffle oil fries, lobster macaroni and cheese, Wisconsin cheese curds (but not really), and even duck burgers! My burger had a fried egg, avocado, and kalamata mayo on a wedge of lettuce. Sis had a humongous shepherd's pie. And Gommie got a "flight" of burgers so she could have three different tastes. She also taught the waiter how to make a milk punch! Dessert was this pseudo-Ding Dong with flourless chocolate cake and a white chocolate mousse that was more like a cream-cheese filling. Sis got the pineapple upside-down cake. All pretty good. We recuperated by watching Brave together. Toward dinner time, we were invited to our neighbors to sample his latest brisket, which we all indulged in. Gommie also got to meet their chickens.
Today, we went to the aquarium, so Bud could show us where he'd been to Oceanography camp. We couldn't go out on the research vessel, but we could visit the touch tanks, sharks, sea turtles, jelly fish, otters, and, most importantly, the seal feeding that he'd wanted to see (though, we've seen that a dozen times over the years, but I'm not sure he really remembers.) He knows each seal by name. My favorite part this time was the butterfly exhibit. Colorful insects made the flower bushes shimmer; butterfly shadows danced on the floor. Several even landed on us--some on Gommie's hair, some on my bright skirt--we were told that some butterflies are attracted to white. The kids were kinda disappointed not to attract any, though one brushed against Bud a few times. I took lots of pictures and some even came out. The one of the Monarch is actually from outside the butterfly tent; he's just a local! I liked how the Blue Morpho-like ones seemed to flutter and dance in pairs. There was also a small purple, black, and white couple near the exit.
For lunch, we headed across the street for Southern food. Bud continued his seafood hat trick with PEI mussels in a saffron sauce--twice the manager commented on how amazing it is to see an adventurous kid. They almost never even look at a children's menu now. Sis had chicken fried bacon over hashbrowns with scrambled eggs, Gommie and Mama had a Low Country Eggs Benedict on grits, and I had shirred eggs and some biscuits. Plus a mini-skillet of peach cobbler and a very moist and delicious tiered lemon cake. We sure do know how to eat well. Like yesterday, we came home and rested to a Disney film, this time Tangled.
And both nights were capped with a visit to the legion of fireflies in the yard, dozens of them, in our yard and in surrounding yards. It's fun to see them at dusk because you can actually see the beetles flying between flares. Several times tonight, there be a group practically blinking in unison. Last night, we saw two bats (not coming out of our house!) There are some mosquitos, too, so we don't stay out long. Mama learned at the bird festival last week that there are actually as many barred and barn owls in CT as red-tailed and shouldered hawks, only you rarely see them because of the darkness and trees. Haven't seen an owl yet here. But we did see the mama raccoon cross the road by the stream.
And the week has only just begun . . . .
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Summer Fun Update III
Recently, we have done the following:
Done:
Meet friends at ice rink: Yep, it's now a weekly event.*Attend town festival in June/volunteer at historic house: we did this before school was even out!
Family book club (we're reading Menagerie and also Redwall): I started Menagerie over 4th of July weekend. It was pretty good. The kids haven't started Redwall yet.Eat Dole Whip: first night of summer, we got Dole Whip and Fluffernutter sundaes!Make ice cream: Strawberry Soda is great. Peaches and Cream is great, too.Picnic: we had a deli picnic, but I hope to do something more sophisticated soon.Watch some movie musicals: we started by watching "Lost Broadway Treasures" and other compilations of famous songs.Play in sprinkler: and used it to make a slippery water slide!*Go to culture festival (Scottish, Irish, Greek, etc.): we loved the Greek festival food, as always! Decorate chalkboard for summer: we started our own mini-drawings of Awesome Summer Things.Celebrate 4th of July: Yes, we did!Celebrate Solstice: they stayed up "all night," which was midnight for Sis and about an hour later for Bud. I even played Mario Kart with them at midnight.Celebrate Mama's birthday: a weekend of take-out meals and movies!Birthday party for kids: Minions movie birthday party, with decorate-your-own-Minion jars and Minion cupcakes.Learn how to clean bathrooms: Bud earned a ticket for this already--on his own initiative!Learn an ASL sign a day (or more)Learn some computer coding using Scratch: they have started making a cat draw stars around the earth.Make shrub for 4th of July: Bud and I really like itPhotos with public art around town ("benching," Bud called it) We're about a third of the way done.
Attend friends' Friday Night Dance Party: for first one, the kids swam and tried "kiddy crack" (butter-cinnamon-sugar spread on graham crackers); they also like badminton, or "chaosminton" with several shuttlecocks.Explore new music genres together ("Music Mondays"): we started with the 80s, then Celtic (Secret of Roan Inish soundtrack), Broadway, jazz, and patriotic. Not sure what this week will be.Research places to go in England, etc: I'm reading Susan Branch's book about falling in love with the English countrysidePurge and donate toys and books: doing really well with this; lots of donations. Kids prepping to have room makeovers.Do a 1000 piece puzzle: Bud and Mama are our puzzlers--they've done cupcakes, Broadway, London, New York, among others.
Have a lemonade stand (cookies for cancer?): helped the local cat shelterMake friendship bread starter and share--Sis says "no."Party/activity in honor of Aunt Sis:planted two memorial hydrangeas, which aren't happy with the heatGo swimming at Y with friends:Well, we went swimming by ourselves at the Y. We'll go with Gommie*Go to nature center: for camp!*Go to aquarium: for camp!*Go to bird festvial:Such fun! Loved the Eastern Screech OwlHost a sleepover with friends: went to a sleepover with several friends; had one sleepover last week and stayed up watching Minecraft videos and making fudge
- *Beach trip in city--in August
- *Putt-putt golf--maybe an indoor monster glow-in-the-dark one
- *Baseball game--probably not
- Go to outdoor concert--probably not
- Have a barbecue (after bricking fire pit)
- Raise butterflies--Nope, too late
- Mario kart-athon
- Movie night
- Old tv show marathon (ours or theirs)
- *Go to Renaissance festival--probably in September
- *Go to zoo
- Stargazing at observatory
- *Biking--I'm thinking of trying biking
- Try a new craft/art project/Make ice cube candles/make soap/Activity kit day: all very similar. Maybe.
- Learn to cook weekly dinners
- Learn how to work washer/dryer
- Hang pictures.
- Make popsicles/Make homemade virgin pina coladas--maybe make virgin pina colada popsicles?
- Make blankets for cat shelter/Community service project (volunteer with cats?)--maybe
- Learn a new game
- Learn a new magic/card trick
- *Go letterboxing or geocaching locally
- Start afternoon tea party tradition ("Tea Tuesdays")/Practice making lemon curd and clotted cream--maybe just have one big tea party
- Pajamas day
- No electricity day
- Kite flying
- Wash car
- Buy new couches?
- Do nothing special
Done:
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
This Week
Now, for this week:
- Sis is at animal camp while Bud is home.
- It's going to be hot, so we're mostly hiding inside.
- We have Mama's company picnic this week.
- Bud has a Minecraft playdate with a potential friend we've been trying to introduce him to for ages.
- Gommie comes on Friday!
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Summer Fun: A Day for Birds of Prey
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| A barred owl (coincidentally, I believe I spotted one on our drive out there) |
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| An Eastern Screech Owl, looking like tree bark |
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| And our very common Red-Tailed Hawk |
It was a short but sweet visit. We'll keep our eye out for other interesting fairs and festivals in the area (including the hot air balloon one in August!)
Friday, July 24, 2015
Inspiration
As I mentioned in my summary post this morning, I've been doing some work in the garden.
No, that's not it.
That's one of those spaces companies plant and maintain seasonally to make their businesses more attractive . . . . though, it's usually with a single sad hosta surrounded by 6 feet of red mulch or bland white rocks. But this company, on the corner of a busy town intersection, has done--or more specifically, hired a company to do--so much more. Look!
Lavender. Echinacea. Phlox (the tall kind.) Day lilies. Black-eyed susans. And those are just the ones I can pinpoint. It kinda reminds me of a cottage garden--bright, tall, all thrown in together (everything reminds me of England these days! Oh, I'm having withdrawl from a 14 months ago--with perhaps 11 months til our next trip.)
I love it! I love that they did more than one sad hosta or some poor impatiens or petunias that will just wither.
Sure, the plants are transplanted full grown, in full sun, and have professional year-round tending (weeding, watering, etc.)--meaning it's not something I can easily copy--but I love the look. The photos look a little dirty or washed out in the full sun and my smartphone camera, but I loved it.
I'll have to plant echinacea and black-eyed susans and tall phlox next year, too.
Or just keep patronizing this business (which is a burger joint.)
Slow Blog Week
It's been a slow blog week, not because it's been a slow week but because it hasn't really been post-worthy.
Let's see:
Let's see:
- Bud is at oceanography camp this week and really likes it. Yesterday, they took the research vessel out into the Sound and used the remotely-operated vehicle (ROV) to look for specimens. They saw a nettle fish or something and other creatures but no sharks. On Tuesday, they had "bio-dredged" and picked up plankton, both winter and summer flounder (something about looking left or right), clams, mussels, etc. On the days they aren't on the boat, they explore the museum. He's hoping they'll see the seal show today. Mama and I are talking about going there to see the butterflies.
- Sis is at home this week. She's spent a lot of it watching tv ("Saddle Club," "Switched at Birth," "Robin Hood" (BBC), and "Clone Wars") and playing Animal Crossing (mainly the two times I went to PT, where I am progressing slowly but surely.) Last night she had a friend over for a sleepover. They made fudge, ate pizza and chicken fingers, biked, played videogames, watched YouTube videos (Minecraft videos, Disney Princess videos, Pokemon videos), stayed up late, and then made breakfast this morning!
- Mama is coming down off her getaway weekend hard, as she is in charge of camp driving for Bud (it's down by her office.) And, well, being at home is nothing like sailing on a schooner in NY harbor at twilight.
- I finished Go Set a Watchman and will post lots of thoughts on that sometime soon. I liked it better than I expected to after all of the press and even reading the first 6 or so chapters.
- I crocheted some.
- I had two social engagements this week: I went to a Wildtree slow-cooker-meal-making party on Monday (where you bring some ingredients and pour in others to make 10 freezer container meals; really, it's mostly about the socializing) and I'll go to a birthday party tonight.
- I've been in the garden a bit in the last day or so, now that the heat has broken some. 83F is much better than 93F, especially when it starts off the day at 63F! I have weeded the front garden a tiny bit, watered the shade garden by the sidewalk where we're trying to get caladiums and astilibes to join our hostas, tried to coax the hydrangeas back from heat exhaustion, and had my mower guy move the honeysuckle because it was completely taking over my lavender, which is unacceptable. Oh, and the tree guy is going to trim the low branches, cut back the ivy, and check the cables (he came for an estimate and will be back in a month.) It sounds like more work than it is, really.
That's pretty much it, I think. The weekend is equally unremarkable. But that's okay.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Today's Mandala
Lily Sugar 'N Cream, various colors ( red, tangerine, yellow, sage green, light blue, and hot purple.). Granny square mandala pattern.
And cat.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Practice Makes Improvement
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| My first: Lion Brand Pastel Bon Bons, Crochet with Raymond's Granny Square mandala |
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| Same pattern as above, with colors reversed. Both are starched with glue/water solution. |
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| Lion Brand Pastel Bon Bons, my misunderstanding of Wink's basic 12-round pattern, attached to a hoop with a single crochet stitch. |
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| Lion Brand Bright Bon Bons, my misunderstanding of Wink's pattern |
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| The above mandala, after I realized my error and adapted it to an embroidery hoop (attaching using single crochet stitch.) |
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| Lily Sugar n'Cream various colors, correct reading of Wink's pattern (finished earlier today!) |
Summer Fun: Making Lemonade
We always have lemonade stand on our summer to-do list and usually we get to it. This year, we arranged to host the stand with our friends Miss B and her daughter J. Daughter J volunteers for the local cat rescue and so we decided to donate all proceeds to that charity. We chose a date, made brownies and rice krispie treats, secured supplies (including a new jug with an infuser, which handle broke within the hour, but the store took it back for a full refund), and announced in on FB, only to wake up that morning to one of the rainiest days forecasted.
Still we watched and waited and the sun cleared late afternoon. We rushed to set up the official stand (a gift from our neighbor Miss K, when her kids outgrew it), mixed up the lemonade--a pitcher of regular and a pitcher infused with defrosting raspberries--and, for two hours, we sold lemonade and treats. Lots of our friends came by, alerted via FB, and supported the cat cause. The kids had a great time . . . and raised $100!
We've hosted several lemonade stands now and will probably have another one this summer. So I don't forget, here are some tips:
Beforehand
Still we watched and waited and the sun cleared late afternoon. We rushed to set up the official stand (a gift from our neighbor Miss K, when her kids outgrew it), mixed up the lemonade--a pitcher of regular and a pitcher infused with defrosting raspberries--and, for two hours, we sold lemonade and treats. Lots of our friends came by, alerted via FB, and supported the cat cause. The kids had a great time . . . and raised $100!
We've hosted several lemonade stands now and will probably have another one this summer. So I don't forget, here are some tips:
Beforehand
- lemonade supplies--we used powdered mix with added fresh lemon slices and, this time, raspberries. One year, we sold Zinger Punch--Sprite and a few Red Zinger teabags. The grown-ups liked it.
- pitchers--glass is risky.
- treats, if selling--brownies, cookies, rice krispie treats--in closed containers, because there will be flies
- cups, napkins, paper towels
- garbage bags
- ice (morning of)
- donation jar
- singles or change, depending on your price points (we usually do $1 for everything--it is charity after all--and then we don't need coins or a price list. Most people give more anyway.)
- posters, esp if you are donating the proceeds (otherwise, passersby seem to recognize a lemonade stand without much of a sign.)
- folding chairs for the grown ups (set way back--though, I'm usually talking to the parents of our customers)
For the sale:
- Bud really likes our special lemonade-stand gimmick: a sugar rim! We dip the lips of the cup in a little bit of lemonade and then into sugar. Extra-good! It's something special we can offer our customers. (You'll need a dish of lemonade and a dish of sugar.) He happily told everyone about it--and enjoyed making them.
- The trick is that kids either overwhelm a customer or get distracted doing something else. Remind them beforehand to greet each person and take his or her order with all their good manners. And then I just sit back and let them handle it. (Well, I don't know how far back I get. I usually chat with anybody.)
- This year, in addition to posting it on FB, we tagged a number of friends in the area by name as soon as we opened--and all of the available ones stopped by, going out of their ways to come see us! This was a special treat for us. In fact, the majority of our customers were friends, not random strangers or even neighbors (boo on our two immediate neighbors who didn't come over, though they saw us clearly.)
Afterwards:
- Clean up (wipe down that lemonade stand!)
- Disperse the leftovers.
- Take out garbage and recycling.
- Count the money and make the donation.
- Post photos of the fun we had!
-=-=-=-=-=-
Our Standard Lemonade Stand Recipes
Chocolate Chunk Oat Bars
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup packed light brown sugar
½ cup butter, softened
1 egg
1 tablespoon water
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 ½ cups uncooked old-fashioned oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chunks or chips, divided
Preheat the oven to 375F. Lightly grease a 9” square baking pan.
Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl. Beat the sugar and butter in a large bowl with an electric mixer until creamy. Add the egg, water, and vanilla; beat until well blended.
Stir in the flour mixture and oats; mix well. Stir in ½ cup chocolate chunks. Spread the dough in the pan with a rubber spatula. Sprinkle wit the remaining ½ cup chocolate chunks.
Bake for about 30 minutes or just until the center feels firm. Transfer the pan to a wire rack to cool completely.
Sesame Street Yummy Cookies: Baking with Kids
Oatmeal Jam Bars
Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup packed light brown sugar
½ cup butter, softened
1 egg
1 tablespoon water
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 ½ cups uncooked old-fashioned oats
1 cup semisweet chocolate chunks or chips, divided
Preheat the oven to 375F. Lightly grease a 9” square baking pan.
Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl. Beat the sugar and butter in a large bowl with an electric mixer until creamy. Add the egg, water, and vanilla; beat until well blended.
Stir in the flour mixture and oats; mix well. Stir in ½ cup chocolate chunks. Spread the dough in the pan with a rubber spatula. Sprinkle wit the remaining ½ cup chocolate chunks.
Bake for about 30 minutes or just until the center feels firm. Transfer the pan to a wire rack to cool completely.
Sesame Street Yummy Cookies: Baking with Kids
Oatmeal Jam Bars
1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup quick-cooking oats
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
¼ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup butter
1-10 oz. jar of preserve
1 cup quick-cooking oats
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
¼ teaspoon baking soda
½ cup butter
1-10 oz. jar of preserve
In a mixing bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar, and baking soda. Cut in butter til mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Reserve ½ cup of the flour mixture. Press remaining flour mixture into the bottom of an ungreased 9 x 9 x 2 inch baking pan. Spread with desired filling. Sprinkle with reserved flour mixture.
Bake in 350°F oven for 30 to 35 minutes or til the top is golden. Cool in the pan on a wire rack. Cut into bars.
Hiding Out
It's going to be 93F today, with a heat index somewhere above 100F.
Which is much too hot for me.
By about 30 degrees.
It was 90 yesterday and pretty miserable with all the high humidity.
So, we're staying indoors, with the AC adjusted to cope with the heat (it can only be set about 15 degrees cooler than the outside temp, which means a warm 78F inside--but we don't want to break the thing now.) Which means not much moving and no turning on the oven.
Bud is actually at camp this week--oceanography camp at the local maritime center. They'll be out on the Sound taking specimens later in the week. But not today, thankfully--can you imagine bobbing in a stopped boat in 93F temps? Actually, many of my readers can; the kids up here, however, would not be used to that (and even I remember getting slightly queasy on a rocking boat in the full TX sunshine! No wonder Pop would go fishing at 5 am or whatever early hour it was.)
I love that he can go to that kind of camp. There are so many to choose from--next week Sis has animal lovers' camp at a nature center (with rabbits! Though, we don't know if she'll get to work with the rabbits); later, Bud has Minecraft redstone circuitry (if I have that right) camp. Others have sailing or Legos or lacrosse or history (American colonial, that is) or build-a-Roman-city, and myriad other choices . . . we just had camp. You know: tents, campfires, s'mores, singing, swimming, tie-dye, hikes.
I'd be ready to go to either kind of camp. But not in this heat. I'm hoping not to have to step foot outside!
Which is much too hot for me.
By about 30 degrees.
It was 90 yesterday and pretty miserable with all the high humidity.
So, we're staying indoors, with the AC adjusted to cope with the heat (it can only be set about 15 degrees cooler than the outside temp, which means a warm 78F inside--but we don't want to break the thing now.) Which means not much moving and no turning on the oven.
Bud is actually at camp this week--oceanography camp at the local maritime center. They'll be out on the Sound taking specimens later in the week. But not today, thankfully--can you imagine bobbing in a stopped boat in 93F temps? Actually, many of my readers can; the kids up here, however, would not be used to that (and even I remember getting slightly queasy on a rocking boat in the full TX sunshine! No wonder Pop would go fishing at 5 am or whatever early hour it was.)
I love that he can go to that kind of camp. There are so many to choose from--next week Sis has animal lovers' camp at a nature center (with rabbits! Though, we don't know if she'll get to work with the rabbits); later, Bud has Minecraft redstone circuitry (if I have that right) camp. Others have sailing or Legos or lacrosse or history (American colonial, that is) or build-a-Roman-city, and myriad other choices . . . we just had camp. You know: tents, campfires, s'mores, singing, swimming, tie-dye, hikes.
I'd be ready to go to either kind of camp. But not in this heat. I'm hoping not to have to step foot outside!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Summer Fun: Party Weekend
Friday: The Friday Night Dance Party hosted by our dear old church friends included a sleepover this week. Sis knew immediately that she wanted to go, but Bud had never slept over anywhere because most of his friends are girls and don't invite him (want to get me started about societal gender norms in the under-10 set?) But this was a great opportunity to try: it was gender-mixed, his sister would be there, and he is very comfortable at our friends' house, having been there now pretty much every Friday for a month. So they both packed up and we headed out.
First he was going to leave Mr. Big at home and so gave him several goodbye hugs. Then he decided to put Mr. Big in the car just for the ride over. And gave him several hugs when we got there. We got out, carried everything into the house (gear and snacks and a homemade mac and cheese contribution to dinner), and . . . he asked if he could go get Mr. Big. Of course. If that's what it takes for your first sleepover, I get it. My dad will tell you: I took my pink floral satin blankie everywhere, even college, which my dad had been teasing about for years; in fact, it's still under the bed in a box somewhere, but it's no longer at the top of the list of things I would save in a fire. Mr. Big is. And Amy and Shirt. And the photographs/computer hard drives. (Things . . . after people and pets.)
And they had a great night! I stayed for awhile to help with dinner, but mainly to chat with the other moms. The kids had lightsaber battles, crocodile battles in the pool, and apparently spent the evening sculpting chandeliers out of glow sticks! I'm told that Bud didn't go to sleep until after 2:30 a.m. and was up again at 6:30 a.m. No wonder he is sound asleep on the couch right now, after a morning at kung fu! (I'm writing this in sections; that was from 1:30 pm Saturday. He slept till 6, despite a few attempts to wake him and feed him. He's going to be up all night.)
Meanwhile, Mama headed away for some much deserved R&R. She's having a great adventure and will be home Sunday afternoon. She's been texting me periodically with great photos. I'm so glad she's having fun. I think it's the first non-family, overnight thing she's done since she went to Miami on a business trip when the kids were, what, two? That's eight years of all us all the time. And we almost had to kick her out of the house! I hope it becomes a more frequent occurrence.
Saturday afternoon found us gearing up for social event #2. We had a little block party with the neighbors. I took white bean dip, spinach pesto salad, and brownies and sat in a chair in the hot afternoon sun going in and out, chatting with people I was happy to get to know. I knew the organizing neighbor but not some of the others, though we wave and I knew their names. The neighbor across the street's daughter will be a kindergartener at our school and the mom is starting a Daisy troop, so we had lots to discuss. Bud slept through the whole thing (and because he's 10 and I was two doors down, I let him sleep in the house by himself, with us checking on him once in awhile), while Sis sat with us when she wasn't chasing the chickens around. These are the chickens she helped babysit when said neighbor was out of town last week--Sis loved locking them up at night and was great at sneaking up on them so they didn't come out of their hut. We called her the "chicken whisperer."
Tomorrow we have another party--a birthday party/housewarming event for someone I've known in passing for years. We'll go over midday and stay awhile (especially because it's going to be hot in CT tomorrow--near 90F--which is too warm for me.) I'm not sure exactly what I'll take to share. I have another batch of bean dip and spinach salad, so maybe that. Sis also talked about making Snickerdoodles, if it's not too hot to turn on the oven.
A busy social weekend . . . so it's probably good that Mama is off on her own. I laughed that she doesn't socialize 9 out of 10 times, introvert that she is, and that only seems to make her more popular in her elusiveness! I joked that I figured I was social enough for both of us. (Besides, though I didn't say it, I save her 1/10 socializing for big events like Applepalooza.)
For me, I'm wiped but happy.
First he was going to leave Mr. Big at home and so gave him several goodbye hugs. Then he decided to put Mr. Big in the car just for the ride over. And gave him several hugs when we got there. We got out, carried everything into the house (gear and snacks and a homemade mac and cheese contribution to dinner), and . . . he asked if he could go get Mr. Big. Of course. If that's what it takes for your first sleepover, I get it. My dad will tell you: I took my pink floral satin blankie everywhere, even college, which my dad had been teasing about for years; in fact, it's still under the bed in a box somewhere, but it's no longer at the top of the list of things I would save in a fire. Mr. Big is. And Amy and Shirt. And the photographs/computer hard drives. (Things . . . after people and pets.)
And they had a great night! I stayed for awhile to help with dinner, but mainly to chat with the other moms. The kids had lightsaber battles, crocodile battles in the pool, and apparently spent the evening sculpting chandeliers out of glow sticks! I'm told that Bud didn't go to sleep until after 2:30 a.m. and was up again at 6:30 a.m. No wonder he is sound asleep on the couch right now, after a morning at kung fu! (I'm writing this in sections; that was from 1:30 pm Saturday. He slept till 6, despite a few attempts to wake him and feed him. He's going to be up all night.)
Meanwhile, Mama headed away for some much deserved R&R. She's having a great adventure and will be home Sunday afternoon. She's been texting me periodically with great photos. I'm so glad she's having fun. I think it's the first non-family, overnight thing she's done since she went to Miami on a business trip when the kids were, what, two? That's eight years of all us all the time. And we almost had to kick her out of the house! I hope it becomes a more frequent occurrence.
Saturday afternoon found us gearing up for social event #2. We had a little block party with the neighbors. I took white bean dip, spinach pesto salad, and brownies and sat in a chair in the hot afternoon sun going in and out, chatting with people I was happy to get to know. I knew the organizing neighbor but not some of the others, though we wave and I knew their names. The neighbor across the street's daughter will be a kindergartener at our school and the mom is starting a Daisy troop, so we had lots to discuss. Bud slept through the whole thing (and because he's 10 and I was two doors down, I let him sleep in the house by himself, with us checking on him once in awhile), while Sis sat with us when she wasn't chasing the chickens around. These are the chickens she helped babysit when said neighbor was out of town last week--Sis loved locking them up at night and was great at sneaking up on them so they didn't come out of their hut. We called her the "chicken whisperer."
Tomorrow we have another party--a birthday party/housewarming event for someone I've known in passing for years. We'll go over midday and stay awhile (especially because it's going to be hot in CT tomorrow--near 90F--which is too warm for me.) I'm not sure exactly what I'll take to share. I have another batch of bean dip and spinach salad, so maybe that. Sis also talked about making Snickerdoodles, if it's not too hot to turn on the oven.
A busy social weekend . . . so it's probably good that Mama is off on her own. I laughed that she doesn't socialize 9 out of 10 times, introvert that she is, and that only seems to make her more popular in her elusiveness! I joked that I figured I was social enough for both of us. (Besides, though I didn't say it, I save her 1/10 socializing for big events like Applepalooza.)
For me, I'm wiped but happy.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Summer Fun: Day Camp
We've been day-camping in the backyard thanks to the very mild weather recently (59F yesterday morning!) I like to sketch and sip on raspberry shrub at our table while the kids do whatever floats their fancy. They made origami ninja throwing stars today and then stalked me all over the backyard. They liked to see if they can follow me without being seen--our yard has lots of rocks and bushes to hide behind. Yesterday, we just sat talking, reading, and spitting cherry pits as far as possible (I realized that I'm terrible at that.) We can see and hear the birds and bees, admire the flowers along the rock wall, wave at neighbors on the sidewalk . . . who knows what the days will bring, but you can bet, if the weather isn't too hot or bugs too bad, this is where we'll spend some time. Thursday, July 16, 2015
Hydrangeas in Memoriam
I think I got the idea about planting memorial hydrangeas in honor of Aunt Sis while sitting in a drive-thru waiting for our food to be brought out to the curb. I even hopped out and took a picture of the glorious pink and lavender blooms right outside my driver-side window.
Later, I snapped a picture of a town bench, with the idyllic white picket fence and hydrangeas. Funny, I imagine I can see the sea through the slats--why do we associate hydrangeas with the seaside? They're all over many coastal towns in New England.
In fact, once I started looking at hydrangeas, they were everywhere. They're mostly blue here in CT, because our acidic soil creates blue blossoms, though some hard-working gardeners must add alkaline treatments to their soil to get the pink or purple ones. It's the blue ones I think of when I think of the sea.
And that's when I knew I wanted to plant some hydrangeas for Aunt Sis. Not that she had hydrangeas--I can't really remember seeing them in Texas at all--but she liked colors and blossoms and had some plants in her own yard, though nothing as formal as a garden. And she loved the ocean. We also took her to Mystic, proverbial New England on the water, and so I even think of her up here by the sea.
And so, Mama picked up two hydrangeas, the last of the nursery's stock, on Tuesday, which was Aunt Sis's birthday, and today we planted them, in morning sun and afternoon shade, as suggested, along our rock wall and visible from my kitchen window.
They look a little forlorn and exhausted now, but I have high hopes for beautiful blossoms next year, in time for her birthday.
Summer Fun: Birthday Questions 2015
It's been quite a long time since we've done these, but I thought we should revive the biannual tradition. I've put recent likes (within the last year or so) in parentheses. Some previous posts are, n regression: fall 2012, Jan 2012, July 2011, Feb 2011, July 2010, July 2009, April 2008, and this related one and this)
I haven't gotten Mama's answers yet--she doesn't like to be asked about herself--but I thought I'd post before I lost another year.
Sis (she did most of the typing):
Book: 39 Clues series, Wings of Fire series, Menagerie series (American Girl books, Little House on the Prairie series, biographies, Horrible Histories books)
TV show: "Switched at Birth," "Robin Hood"doctor who (BBC),
Movie: Minions (Frozen, The Hobbit trilogy)
Musical: Les Miz, Wicked
Song: Riptide" blank space (Katy Perry, "Let it Go," Taylor Swift)
Color:pink
Number: 77
Food: popeyes fried chicken
Animals: bunny horse
Dessert: chocolate
Restaurant: popeyes
Toy/Thing: Amy, Shirt, Minecraft, splatoon (Zoo Tycoon)
Things to Do: ice skating, baking, draw and color, read
Place to go: my room
Saying/Words: n/a
Job When I Grow Up: vet
Books: Hyrule Historia, Inheritance cycle, Menagerie series, Scratch 2.0 (Percy Jackson series, biographies, Horrible Histories books)
TV show: "Doctor Who," "Clone Wars," "Phineas and Ferb"
Movie: How to Train Your Dragon 2, Star Wars 2, Battle of Five Armies (Lego Movie, The Hobbit trilogy)
Musical: Phantom of the Opera, Les Miz, Wicked
Song: "Revolting" from Matilda (Piano Guys)
Color: blue
Number: 46
Food: sushi
Animals: penguin
Dessert: homemade ice cream
Restaurant: Sushi Momo
Toy/Thing: Wii, Mr. Big, Scratch programming, magic card tricks, Smash brothers, Legend of Zelda games, (Legos, Minecraft)
Things to do: kung fu, Scratch, read, Smash Brothers
Place to go: London
Saying/Words: n/a
Job When I Grow Up: actor, coder
Book: Outlander, historical mysteries (again!), (last year: History of Food in 100 Recipes, Clarissa Dickson Wright's book on food history, Michael Wood's Story of England)
TV show: "Outlander," "Agents of SHIELD," "Agent Carter," "Vikings," "Parenthood" ("Battlestar Galactica" (new), "Sherlock," "Elementary," "Supernatural," "Downton Abbey")
Movie: Marvel movies, (Frozen)
Musical: Fun Home (Wicked)
Song: "Ring of Keys" from Fun Home, "Fight Song" ("Defying Gravity," "Cups," "Let it Go," Piano Guys)
Color: purple
Number: 12
Food: pizza, raspberry shrub, homemade soda,
Animals: cats, panda, otter, hedgehog, koalas
Dessert: homemade ice cream
Restaurant: not so much
Toy/Thing: yarn, micro pens, my smartphone
To Do: crochet mandalas, Zentangle (crochet, blog, bake, juggle, read, cross stitch)
Place to go: looking forward to Comic Con, Block Island, returning to UK, etc.
Saying/Words: metta meditation
Job When I Grow Up: hospice chaplain
I haven't gotten Mama's answers yet--she doesn't like to be asked about herself--but I thought I'd post before I lost another year.
Sis (she did most of the typing):
Book: 39 Clues series, Wings of Fire series, Menagerie series (American Girl books, Little House on the Prairie series, biographies, Horrible Histories books)
TV show: "Switched at Birth," "Robin Hood"doctor who (BBC),
Movie: Minions (Frozen, The Hobbit trilogy)
Musical: Les Miz, Wicked
Song: Riptide" blank space (Katy Perry, "Let it Go," Taylor Swift)
Color:pink
Number: 77
Food: popeyes fried chicken
Animals: bunny horse
Dessert: chocolate
Restaurant: popeyes
Toy/Thing: Amy, Shirt, Minecraft, splatoon (Zoo Tycoon)
Things to Do: ice skating, baking, draw and color, read
Place to go: my room
Saying/Words: n/a
Job When I Grow Up: vet
·
B
Bud:Books: Hyrule Historia, Inheritance cycle, Menagerie series, Scratch 2.0 (Percy Jackson series, biographies, Horrible Histories books)
TV show: "Doctor Who," "Clone Wars," "Phineas and Ferb"
Movie: How to Train Your Dragon 2, Star Wars 2, Battle of Five Armies (Lego Movie, The Hobbit trilogy)
Musical: Phantom of the Opera, Les Miz, Wicked
Song: "Revolting" from Matilda (Piano Guys)
Color: blue
Number: 46
Food: sushi
Animals: penguin
Dessert: homemade ice cream
Restaurant: Sushi Momo
Toy/Thing: Wii, Mr. Big, Scratch programming, magic card tricks, Smash brothers, Legend of Zelda games, (Legos, Minecraft)
Things to do: kung fu, Scratch, read, Smash Brothers
Place to go: London
Saying/Words: n/a
Job When I Grow Up: actor, coder
·
Mommy:Book: Outlander, historical mysteries (again!), (last year: History of Food in 100 Recipes, Clarissa Dickson Wright's book on food history, Michael Wood's Story of England)
TV show: "Outlander," "Agents of SHIELD," "Agent Carter," "Vikings," "Parenthood" ("Battlestar Galactica" (new), "Sherlock," "Elementary," "Supernatural," "Downton Abbey")
Movie: Marvel movies, (Frozen)
Musical: Fun Home (Wicked)
Song: "Ring of Keys" from Fun Home, "Fight Song" ("Defying Gravity," "Cups," "Let it Go," Piano Guys)
Color: purple
Number: 12
Food: pizza, raspberry shrub, homemade soda,
Animals: cats, panda, otter, hedgehog, koalas
Dessert: homemade ice cream
Restaurant: not so much
Toy/Thing: yarn, micro pens, my smartphone
To Do: crochet mandalas, Zentangle (crochet, blog, bake, juggle, read, cross stitch)
Place to go: looking forward to Comic Con, Block Island, returning to UK, etc.
Saying/Words: metta meditation
Job When I Grow Up: hospice chaplain
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Summer Fun Update II
It's about this time each summer that I realize we won't do the rest of the things on the list. We did the easiest or most fun stuff first and now we're just kind of coasting. But, in case I really need some ideas, here's the to-do list, if we like.
And this is why it's mid-July and we're tired already:
Meet friends at ice rink: Yep, it's now a weekly event.*Attend town festival in June/volunteer at historic house: we did this before school was even out!
Family book club (we're reading Menagerie and also Redwall): I started Menagerie over 4th of July weekend. It was pretty good. The kids haven't started Redwall yet.Eat Dole Whip: first night of summer, we got Dole Whip and Fluffernutter sundaes!Make ice cream: Strawberry Soda is great. Peaches and Cream is great, too.Picnic: we had a deli picnic, but I hope to do something more sophisticated soon.Watch some movie musicals: we started by watching "Lost Broadway Treasures" and other compilations of famous songs.Play in sprinkler: and used it to make a slippery water slide!*Go to culture festival (Scottish, Irish, Greek, etc.): we loved the Greek festival food, as always! Decorate chalkboard for summer: we started our own mini-drawings of Awesome Summer Things.Celebrate 4th of July: Yes, we did!Celebrate Solstice: they stayed up "all night," which was midnight for Sis and about an hour later for Bud. I even played Mario Kart with them at midnight.Celebrate Mama's birthday: a weekend of take-out meals and movies!Birthday party for kids: Minions movie birthday party, with decorate-your-own-Minion jars and Minion cupcakes.Learn how to clean bathrooms: Bud earned a ticket for this already--on his own initiative!Learn an ASL sign a day (or more)Learn some computer coding using Scratch: they have started making a cat draw stars around the earth.Make shrub for 4th of July: Bud and I really like itPhotos with public art around town ("benching," Bud called it) We're about a third of the way done.
Attend friends' Friday Night Dance Party: for first one, the kids swam and tried "kiddy crack" (butter-cinnamon-sugar spread on graham crackers); they also like badminton, or "chaosminton" with several shuttlecocks.Explore new music genres together ("Music Mondays"): we started with the 80s, then Celtic (Secret of Roan Inish soundtrack), Broadway, jazz, and patriotic. Not sure what this week will be.Research places to go in England, etc: I'm reading Susan Branch's book about falling in love with the English countrysidePurge and donate toys and books: doing really well with this; lots of donations. Kids prepping to have room makeovers.Do a 1000 piece puzzle: Bud and Mama are our puzzlers--they've done cupcakes, Broadway, London, New York, among others.
- *Beach trip in city
- *Putt-putt golf
- *Baseball game
- Party/activity in honor of Aunt Sis
- Go swimming at Y with friends
- Go to outdoor concert
- Have a barbecue (after bricking fire pit)
- Raise butterflies
- Have a lemonade stand (cookies for cancer?)
- Mario kart-athon
- Movie night
- Old tv show marathon (ours or theirs)
- *Go to Renaissance festival
- *Go to zoo
- Stargazing at observatory
- *Biking
- *Go to nature center
- *Go to aquarium
- *Go to bird festvial
- Try a new craft/art project
- Learn to cook weekly dinners
- Make ice cube candles
- Make soap
- Activity kit day
- Host a sleepover with friends.
- Learn how to work washer/dryer
- Make popsicles.
- Hang pictures.
- Make friendship bread starter and share--Sis says "no."
- Make homemade virgin pina coladas
- Make blankets for cat shelter
- Learn a new game
- Learn a new magic/card trick
- *Go letterboxing or geocaching locally
- Start afternoon tea party tradition ("Tea Tuesdays")
- Practice making lemon curd and clotted cream
- Pajamas day
- No electricity day
- Kite flying
- Wash car
- Buy new couches?
- Community service project (volunteer with cats?)
- Do nothing special
And this is why it's mid-July and we're tired already:
Rambling Reflections
Lots of realizations this week:
Mama and I have been parents longer than we were together alone--ten years of each now, more if you count pregnancy, which is kinda limbo.
And then, if you count them separately, we've been parenting for 20 years!
I'm a better person for having kids, in all ways . . . except physically, I suppose. But as much as that dominates, I wouldn't change a thing. Seriously. Children are like egg to a stock: clarifying. Priorities. Values. Desires. Strengths. Weaknesses. I've never been so aware of my faults, but, if honest, I can see what I'm good at, too; on a good day, I try accept both with equanimity, and try to extend it to everyone. I spend so much time pondering big and little questions, that I have more answers, but more questions, than I ever did. I'm more connected to everything and everyone around me and see a much bigger picture. I don't think this is just a result of age, but perhaps of having more in common with all the parents out there. Of course, I'm more sensitive and vulnerable with all of this awareness of connection. I think I enjoy happiness more but suffer through disappointments and sadnesses a little more tenderly. Who was it who said that having children is like having a giant open wound? (It wasn't this piece, which I like. Motherhood definitely makes me more sentimental and nostalgic. Corny would be the word.) I worry about death--my own, theirs, anybody's, more than I was ever conscious of mortality before. Maybe that's what draws me to hospice. Motherhood takes me so much out of myself, but at the same time, has me thinking about my thoughts and actions all the time; it's an odd combination of altruism and narcissism. Same with the kids. I think more about everyone's kids, and everyone as a child, but at the end of it, it is only my children . . . .
And despite all of the stress and work children are, which can wear on the connection between their parents, Mama and I are a stronger, better couple now. Sure, we don't do as much alone or talk together of many other things besides the kids or family matters, but our sense of love, our knowledge of our strengths and weakness, our support of such, and our respect for each other has grown enormously because we are tried and challenged (and tired), together and individually, everyday in ways that wouldn't have happened. And we know enough to recognize that and appreciate it.
It's good to remember this now--a decade in, two digits--because everyone keeps telling me how much adolescence messes with both the adolescents and their parents. The emotions are so powerful and overwhelming as they leave behind aspects of childhood and are confused and saddened by it, as are we. But just as she walks away to the bus for camp without looking back, she comes home and hugs on her beloved stuffed bunny Amy; it's the limbo between childhood and adulthood. I see it already, would delay it if I could, though probably not really because I know it's necessary. And I take it so personally, already feel a little left behind alone, which is not the way to go. Good thing we have some time before it's full blown.
There are good things, too. They understand more, appreciate more, do more, know more. They are old enough to try things we like to do, like travel, eating out, going to Broadway, reading certain books and see certain films--we can share more of ourselves with them now; let's face it, babies and toddlers and preschoolers are rather limited that way (fun in others, of course, but infanthood was not ever my favorite part.) Now, they remember the stories we tell and the things we do. And they like some of it! Which, of course, is a way of their getting to know and remember us, some kind of salve against the inevitable.
Of course, the new stories, activities, skills, experiences go both ways. They expand our world just as they deepen our appreciation of it. Ice skating, horses, kung fu, Legos, video games, violin, piano, cello, sushi, sci-fi/fantasy (yes, as much as we raised them to be geeks, they push us further into it with their own obsessions)--I can go on and on. There is an essay about being friends with your children, one of many on either side of the debate, by Mama Eve, that notes, "I try to be an example of the friend I want my children to be to others, and also of the kind of person I want my children to be friends with." The exciting bit about tweendom and adolescence, with all of its downs, is the upside of getting to know them better as they get to know themselves. If the last ten years are anything to go on, the next ten years are going to be amazing, though I'll admit to some bias.
All of which is a rambling (and corny) way of saying "happy birthday" to Sis and Bud and that we are so grateful and blessed to have you.
Mama and I have been parents longer than we were together alone--ten years of each now, more if you count pregnancy, which is kinda limbo.
And then, if you count them separately, we've been parenting for 20 years!
I'm a better person for having kids, in all ways . . . except physically, I suppose. But as much as that dominates, I wouldn't change a thing. Seriously. Children are like egg to a stock: clarifying. Priorities. Values. Desires. Strengths. Weaknesses. I've never been so aware of my faults, but, if honest, I can see what I'm good at, too; on a good day, I try accept both with equanimity, and try to extend it to everyone. I spend so much time pondering big and little questions, that I have more answers, but more questions, than I ever did. I'm more connected to everything and everyone around me and see a much bigger picture. I don't think this is just a result of age, but perhaps of having more in common with all the parents out there. Of course, I'm more sensitive and vulnerable with all of this awareness of connection. I think I enjoy happiness more but suffer through disappointments and sadnesses a little more tenderly. Who was it who said that having children is like having a giant open wound? (It wasn't this piece, which I like. Motherhood definitely makes me more sentimental and nostalgic. Corny would be the word.) I worry about death--my own, theirs, anybody's, more than I was ever conscious of mortality before. Maybe that's what draws me to hospice. Motherhood takes me so much out of myself, but at the same time, has me thinking about my thoughts and actions all the time; it's an odd combination of altruism and narcissism. Same with the kids. I think more about everyone's kids, and everyone as a child, but at the end of it, it is only my children . . . .
And despite all of the stress and work children are, which can wear on the connection between their parents, Mama and I are a stronger, better couple now. Sure, we don't do as much alone or talk together of many other things besides the kids or family matters, but our sense of love, our knowledge of our strengths and weakness, our support of such, and our respect for each other has grown enormously because we are tried and challenged (and tired), together and individually, everyday in ways that wouldn't have happened. And we know enough to recognize that and appreciate it.
It's good to remember this now--a decade in, two digits--because everyone keeps telling me how much adolescence messes with both the adolescents and their parents. The emotions are so powerful and overwhelming as they leave behind aspects of childhood and are confused and saddened by it, as are we. But just as she walks away to the bus for camp without looking back, she comes home and hugs on her beloved stuffed bunny Amy; it's the limbo between childhood and adulthood. I see it already, would delay it if I could, though probably not really because I know it's necessary. And I take it so personally, already feel a little left behind alone, which is not the way to go. Good thing we have some time before it's full blown.
There are good things, too. They understand more, appreciate more, do more, know more. They are old enough to try things we like to do, like travel, eating out, going to Broadway, reading certain books and see certain films--we can share more of ourselves with them now; let's face it, babies and toddlers and preschoolers are rather limited that way (fun in others, of course, but infanthood was not ever my favorite part.) Now, they remember the stories we tell and the things we do. And they like some of it! Which, of course, is a way of their getting to know and remember us, some kind of salve against the inevitable.
Of course, the new stories, activities, skills, experiences go both ways. They expand our world just as they deepen our appreciation of it. Ice skating, horses, kung fu, Legos, video games, violin, piano, cello, sushi, sci-fi/fantasy (yes, as much as we raised them to be geeks, they push us further into it with their own obsessions)--I can go on and on. There is an essay about being friends with your children, one of many on either side of the debate, by Mama Eve, that notes, "I try to be an example of the friend I want my children to be to others, and also of the kind of person I want my children to be friends with." The exciting bit about tweendom and adolescence, with all of its downs, is the upside of getting to know them better as they get to know themselves. If the last ten years are anything to go on, the next ten years are going to be amazing, though I'll admit to some bias.
All of which is a rambling (and corny) way of saying "happy birthday" to Sis and Bud and that we are so grateful and blessed to have you.
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