I Quit

Yes, I quit.

We're giving up naps. Never going to actively try again. Ever.

And it feels so good.

Like when I finally decided--after specialists and drugs that made me ill and lots of crying with no success for 6 weeks--that I wasn't going to breastfeed anymore. Goodbye to the guilt, the stress, the exhaustion, the frustration.

You see, my kids were never good nappers. Ever. They sleep beautifully at night: go down early, sleep through, arise about 11-12 hours later. Right now it's 7-6:45. Pretty good.

Naps: 0.

I remember us all tiptoeing around the house two Christmases ago while we hoped they'd nap. Or DP sitting uncomfortably in the dark in the kitchen after one of them fell asleep on her shoulder finally. There have also been at least two major eras of the car nap--that first winter and now. Because ever since they moved to toddler beds (having figured out how to crawl out) they have not napped. It's been 4+ months of no napping. Everyday (when I don't somehow fineagle our schedule so that we can nap in the car and that doesn't even always work), I send them upstairs and know that it's just a matter of time before there's blood. They are so tired that when they start to play, someone gets hurt accidentally or they intentionally hurt each other. It's not pretty. It's dangerous.

But I feel guilty not trying. All my other friends' kids nap--for hours! 2-3 hour naps, every day. Like clockwork. Mind you, for now, most of these friends only have 1 child napping. Of course, sleep is the parenting issue of the decade, just as walking and eating used to be the litmus test for good parents. And there is a fortune to be made with sleep advice books and so it has become its own industry. Vicious cycle. But I've done cry-it-out, and the opposite, and the in between. And I've been consistent and fair. And nothing works.

I've tried napping with them, tried separating them, tried napping them at different times, tried napping on pallets downstairs. Nothing has worked. I've talked to other moms, other moms of twins, parent educators. our pediatrician. Nothing has worked. And so, on Monday, I decided enough is enough. Monday was particularly brutal and I just couldn't rationalize putting us all through this everyday. They cry the whole time (the attempts usually last about an hour) and I don't get any real down time because I have to referee.

Now, before accusations of lax parenting begin, let me say that they are probably just about ready to stop napping anyway. A quarter of the time, you can't tell they didn't nap; another quarter and they're mildly fussy. Then it's a quarter majorly fussy. And a quarter of the time one of them falls asleep somewhere before bedtime. And my parent educator agrees--it's just their time.

So yesterday, I announced, "we're not napping anymore. No naps today. No naps ever." And we spread out their new Dora and Diego fleece blankets and we watched some tv.

And truthfully, it was the best non-nap we've had in a long time.