Music to My Ears

Sunday was our piano recital--and it went beautifully!

Bud went first, playing "Maple Leaf Rag" and a rustic dance without any sheet music!  And I don't think he missed a note.  I love watching him play.

Then Sis went, playing my favorite "Cups" song and something called Rockin' 6.  I think it was the best I've heard her play them.  Really well done.

And then it was my turn.  "Greensleeves."  Ugh.  I missed a note in the first several bars but recovered without making a sound or a face . . . and I finished playing the whole thing, perfectly (for me) even though my hands began to shake almost uncontrollably, just like last time.  But I kept them moving and finished the song.  I almost cheered for myself!  Whew.

And I won't ever do that again.  My first recital was an experiment; this last one was a kind of redemption since I didn't feel like the first one went as smoothly as I'd hoped.  So I accomplished what I set out to do.  Let the recital be for the kiddos.  I'll still take lessons--love them!--but I don't need to perform again.  Makes me too anxious.  And I've discovered, since Sunday, that I now play the song even better without the nerves of thinking of the recital--and I have memorized it!  I now have a nice song I can play anytime, anywhere, without the music.  Yay!  This was one of my major goals of piano lessons.

But back to Sunday.  Because it had gone so well for all of us, I was able to sit back and enjoy the rest of the pianists.  They really are a talented bunch.  And we all have a great teacher.

Both of which we celebrated with sweets afterwards.

Advent Activities: Christmas-y Weekend

On Saturday, we went to the mall, our annual pilgrimage to the altar of American consumerism.  But not for the shopping.  Bud's kung fu team was doing a performance to entertain holiday shoppers.  We did do a little shopping at Hot Topics, with all its geeky Doctor Who and Star Wars stuff, more to distract Bud from his performance than anything else.

After a stellar event, and some Froyo, we watched that very traditional holiday film . . . Hunger Games.  Yep, the kids are knee-deep into the story of Katniss and Panem, plowing through the books and now starting the movies.

Yesterday was the kids' annual December holiday piano recital, which went off swimmingly with Sis playing "Hedwig's Them" and "Shake it Off," and Bud playing "Home Fried Potatoes" and something which title I forget ("Stepping" or "Swinging," something.)  They went first and second and were glad to be done, sitting quietly through numerous Christmas, pop, and classical songs and waiting patiently for the snacks at the end, including my orange poundcake, which was popular.

We headed home, counting Christmas trees as we went--we count all season and are up above 90 spotted on the roof of cars from the nearby popular tree farm.  We have an artificial tree, because of the cats, and have decided to put it up on the last day of school and making a celebration of it by staying up late decorating the house.

On the way home we also saw a holiday bazaar in an historic building and stopped to look around.  I picked up a Bucilla Christmas ornament kit exactly like the one my great-grandmother made for Aunt Banana and me when we were little, with kittens and mice in stockings.

And I took some photos of decorated doors on historic houses in the area, which really capture New England Christmas for me.  Makes me doubly glad we'll be doing Christmas by Candlelight at Old Sturbridge Village soon.

But first, we watched . . . Catching Fire.  Such cheerful holiday fare.

Our Wonderful Weekend

What a weekend!

I'll have to rest all week!  No harm done; feel pretty good, considering the level of activity--nothing a bunch of watching "Wolf Hall" and other things won't fix.

I hadn't been sure about this weekend.  With a church banquet to celebrate the buddy program (where adults and kids secretly exchanged treats), a play on Saturday, and the recital on Sunday, it was too much.  But I wanted to do it all.  Except I was nervous about doing any of it--long car rides, walking a lot, and, of course, playing "Finlandia."  So, we narrowed it down.  We skipped the banquet on Friday, sending a treat along in our stead, and made arrangements for Saturday and Sunday to be easier.  And in the end, it worked really well.  I'm so glad it it worked.

Saturday we went to see Camelot, in a touring production in Hartford.  I love Camelot.  I first saw it, with Gommie, around 1980, with Richard Harris in the lead.  It was my favorite musical as a child, at least before Phantom of the Opera came along.  I sang it for weeks afterwards and even decorated my room as Guinevere's!  I even hid my alarm clock, lamp, and stereo under cloths because, of course, there was no electricity in Camelot.  I saw it again in a high school production . . . and then I haven't seen it in 30+ years.  (Because I don't like the movie with Vanessa Redgrave.)  But I sing the songs weekly and it's still one of my top ten.

So I was so excited to hear it was touring, buying the tickets last fall.  And it was pretty good!  (Especially considering it was a touring, non-Equity performance.)  The actors were credible and strong singers (definitely stronger than those in Joseph), the staging had enough period flare, the costumes were rich, and I love the music--though, they cut my favorite song, "I Loved You Once in Silence."  The cast had been pared down so there wasn't the full stage during "Lusty Month of May," but I liked it all.  And so did the kids.  We even all (mostly) got teary at the rather depressing end.  Well worth the journey up.  And even though all I did the whole day was sit--in the car, in the theater seat, in the car again--I was tired.

A little bonus:  we picked up Tibetan food to take home for dinner!

And then Sunday.  Ah Sunday, the recital.  The recital I've been practicing for these last four months.  I was nervous and then I'd be okay, but at least all of the tiredness of Saturday had left me.  And so we went to the place where it would be.  I was playing fourth, behind one child and then my two.  Bud played "Gigue" and "Forth Eorlingas" (from LOTR) beautifully.  And Sis played "Grand Old Flag" and the theme from Star Wars better than ever--sounded wonderful!  Then it was my turn.  And, well, I never knew my hands could shake so hard.  After playing the first few bars just fine, I lost all control of my fingers and hit so many wrong notes.  We had practiced everything else, but I didn't know how to calm them down.  I barely made it through the piece, even dropping two bars in desperation.  It was awful!  But I didn't flap my arms or make bad faces (I think I made one, which a friend's husband noticed!) or squeal.  And everyone clapped when it was over and I got hugs from the kids.  I heard the rest of the marvelous pieces--the children of two other friends played their pieces beautifully and there were so many talented kids whom we've watched over the last few years.  A few even played complex pieces by the Piano Guys.  And all the while I listened and marveled at their skills and noticed that almost everyone made little mistakes, I thought about my performance.  And you know what?  It was okay.  Better than that, it was wonderful!  Not my piece, but that I did it under all these crazy circumstances.  And I was the only adult who played.  Well, there's always a first time and it's over.  Everyone was very gracious afterwards, saying how well I did, and maybe I covered my mistakes better than I thought, though I doubt it--maybe they don't know "Finlandia."  Sis presented me with flowers afterwards and I got a medal from the teacher.  It was a lovely, lovely day (made even more so with potato chips and Ben & Jerry's afterwards!)   But perhaps I'll leave recitals to the young from now on.  (Or not, because I could only get better from here!)

We have nothing big on the calendar for several weeks, if any, and so I'll rest, relax, and recuperate, with lovely memories and a real feeling of accomplishment.  Definitely adding this to my list of affirmations!

Practicing to Fail

Perhaps I should say "practicing to falter."

I had one of the most interesting piano lessons yesterday.  As you know, my very first piano recital is on Sunday.  After seven months of lessons, having not been able to read much music or play more than "Good King Wenceslas" (the easy version) when I began in September, I had said I would play at the spring recital alongside all of the kiddos; I've been practicing my piece, "Finlandia," for three months.  And then, well, emergency.

I have debated whether I could play since having my surgery.  Everyone, family and piano teacher included, is encouraging and understanding--play if you can, don't if you can't, but don't stress about it.  I've practiced the transitions where I move my hands so that they are smoother; I've practiced the timing because sometimes my count is just a bit off.  I've even practiced in front of people--the kids, Mama, Gommie in-laws, friends--so I get used to playing for others. Some days, I get through my song just fine; other days, I hit so many wrong notes.  Pain and narcotics usage definitely has an effect.

So yesterday, my teacher and I practiced how to mess up.  No faces, no squeals, no waving my hands in frustration.  Play through.  Pretend you didn't mess up.  Slow down if it's a part that troubles you (or speed up right through it!)  If it's an egregious mistake (several wrong notes in a row), start the phrase over.  If it's the first few notes, start the whole song over.  She says that everyone messes up, that oftentimes only the players notice.  It's a very forgiving audience.

And you know what?  Recognizing that I knew how to fix a mistake--acknowledging that I was going to make a mistake and should therefore not aim for perfect (which, my teacher called a "crapshoot!")--freed up my playing immensely and I made fewer mistakes!  Some of the paralysis left.

So, for now, I'm definitely playing "Finlandia" on Sunday, mistakes and all.


(Because I know people like an update, yesterday was really good.  I stayed on top of my pain meds and had a good, useful, relaxing day.  I have follow-ups with cardiologist on Thurs and surgeon on Friday.  Expecting it all to be fine.)